back to article Siege of Shoreditch was like Stalingrad, but with Froot Loops Bloopers

Tsunami survivors say the first sign of impending disaster is that the tide goes out a very long way. One minute you're on the beach with water lapping at your feet. The next, there's nothing as far as you can see. That was how the start of the "Breakfast War” felt, too. One moment I was in the Jedward Twins' Cereal Killer …

  1. Elmer Phud

    Beefy

    Had the customers of Petit Dejuener a Shoreditch not tried to outdo each other wit the most pretentious cereal or cocktail of cereals they would have gone for THREE Shredded Wheat (or one teaspoonful for the working clothes model).

    Just hearing that the Botham challenge had been met would have had the protesters scuttling away as if a half-packet of All Bran had just got busy.

    1. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Re: Beefy

      THREE? No-one can handle THREE!

  2. jake Silver badge

    Rejected? Really?

    I guess a Yank isn't allowed to make tongue-in-cheek comments about the various boroughs of London. Only one way to go with that.

    Mornington Crescent.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Rejected? Really?

      Seems to me, that according to the Hairy Cornflake rules of 1977, once a post has been resurrected after a player called "Mornington Crescent", if it is again rejected that moderator is in Nidd.

    2. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Re: Rejected? Really?

      You can't start with Mornington Crescent, or it will be a very dull game.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Rejected? Really?

        Unless you then leave with Samantha (and or Sven)

        1. jake Silver badge

          @YAAc (was: Re: Rejected? Really?)

          Wifey-poo thumbs her nose at the lovely Samantha, with those gorgeous eyes.

          I am truly blessed.

      2. jake Silver badge

        @Tom 38 (was: Re: Rejected? Really?)

        "You can't start with Mornington Crescent, or it will be a very dull game."

        I didn't. I started with this:

        http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/2652461

        ElReg's lack of proper threading rears it's ugly head again ...

  3. jake Silver badge

    Shoreditch?

    You mean Hackney, Shirley?

  4. Buzzword

    Ricekrispallnacht

    (Not mine)

    1. Tim Worstal

      Re: Ricekrispallnacht

      Apparently:

      https://twitter.com/EnricoMead/status/648123872928264192

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "And I would be far above my work loftspace enjoying some Class As"

    Do RIPE know about this? Don't you know there's a shortage!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hilarious

    ***she has spent 15 years in academia, taking a degree in sociology and a masters in research methods before completing a doctorate on "finding value on a council estate"***

    So, having spent 15 years studying how to be useless to doctorate level, she is now pissed at those that might be able to achieve something productive?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: now pissed at ...

      Erm... regarding "those that might achieve something productive", are you referring to Steve Bong, or the owners of a novelty cereal establishment? :-)

  7. arnieL

    Not the first time

    Bunch of "locals" charging around the East End trying to intimidate new arrivals because they don't want their way of life disrupted.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "And I would be far above my work loftspace enjoying some Class As"

    Is it an Americanism to read that with 2 s's, and no capitol A? [And how does one make a plural S?]

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "And I would be far above my work loftspace enjoying some Class As"

      I think it must be an Americanism.

      In the UK illegal drugs are classified in three categories: Class A, Class B, Class C

      So Class A is Britslang for the most addictive drugs - e.g. heroin, cocaine.

      Class As - plural - means multiple drugs. And that is how it should be spelled / spelt.

  9. Mage Silver badge

    Good

    Unfortunately a daft article in a leading UK paper appears to have been intended to be serious.

  10. Florida1920
    Childcatcher

    Fun, but...

    I'll pass on the sugar-coated wood shavings, but I'm jonesing for a fix of BOFH today.

  11. earl grey
    Devil

    I can't decide

    if gentrification should live or die

  12. LucreLout

    The only thing more annoying than a hipster...

    ...is a social justice warrior with an empty headed rhetorical arguement. Time marches on and little stands still. If your area isn't moving up market, then it's moving down market.

    At the end of the day, a braying hipster with a skim mocha latte and over priced laptop is a lot safer to be around than some wannabe dj playing at gangster.

  13. Commswonk
    FAIL

    Oh Dear...

    “The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable” is how Morrissey put it in "Meat Is Murder".

    "the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable" is actually how Oscar Wilde put it in A Woman of no Importance 100 years or more previously.

    </quotationnazi>

  14. Hero Protagonist

    The Big Bong Bio

    The auhor's bio is becoming nearly as long as the article itself

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