back to article Architect of UK’s hated scheme quits NHS, flees from Britain

The architect of Blighty's hated scheme, Tim Kelsey, has today announced he will quit as the NHS's National Information Director. Kelsey will leave the British health service in December and take the new role of director at Australia’s telecoms biz Telstra Health next July. Curiously, the NHS did not list …

  1. Alister

    "Over the past three years Tim has brought his infectious energy and creative expertise to the vital drive for open, transparent and technology-enabled health services."

    Rarely have I seen such a blatant misrepresentation of the facts...

    Oh wait, this is a British Civil-Servant... as you were...

    Look out Aussies, you're next.

    1. D Moss Esq

      "Infectious"? Bit worrying for Oz healthworkers.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Australia, we apologise in advance.

  2. Pat 11

    Don't let the door hit your fat arse on the way out.

    Best news all week.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't let the door hit your fat arse on the way out.

      If it is the best news all week, it must have been a pretty poor week for news. He should be inside, doing time. Not only does he not recognise that the Data Protection Act applies within the NHS, he got that specifically written in to the latest Health & Social Care Act. All your medical records belong to him.

      I wonder what he will have on his memory stick when he flies out? A copy of the HSCIC database, or will it include GP records as well?

  3. Detective Emil
    Big Brother

    Pay no attention to that spook behind the curtain

    The scheme has been subject to severe delays ...

    His life will be easier in Oz, where such things seem just to get rammed through. (One of many antipodean El Reg stories on the topic.)

  4. Warm Braw Silver badge

    It seems to have been easier for him to opt out of than it has for the rest of us.

    1. getHandle

      I nominate this for CotW!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lies, damn lies and job CVs

    Did no-one bother to check his employment history or were they, well - just not bothered?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    brings to mind

    something about rats and sinking ships

    1. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: brings to mind

      I've always had some trouble with that saying. Why would rats remain on a sinking ship? What is so wrong with getting off a non-functional floating device? Are all the human survivors from sinkings analogous to rats?

      I have no liking for this venal, lying tosser, and I'm glad to see him going (though I'm sorry for the fact he will inflict more shit on the already beleaguered Assies), but the saying just seems odd.

      1. Richard Taylor 2

        Re: brings to mind

        You shouldn't do. I think it refers to the fact that the Rats, at the first hint of a water based incident run like mad. They don't stop to help fix the problem (if indeed it is - which in this case I grant you may well be true)

      2. Pookietoo

        Re: the saying just seems odd

        Before bilge alarms, unusual rat activity was one of the early signs that a vessel was taking on water. So people departing something are not rats, according to the expression, but an indication that the something is in trouble.

      3. x 7

        Re: brings to mind

        the saying is due to the fact that on old wooden ships often the first indication that a vessel was taking water and sinking was when the cargo holds were flooded, driving the rats to the upper decks where they became visible. Normally rats hide - it takes something excessive to make them leave their hideways and appear. Something like a flood offering instant drowning...

  7. Elmer Phud


    How much has he wasted on our behalf before he knew the game was up and he scarpered?

    How much will he be getting as a goodbye prezzie?

    1. JasonB

      Re: Costs?

      "How much will he be getting as a goodbye prezzie?"

      I'll guess £250,000. Any advance on that?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Costs?

      > How much will he be getting as a goodbye prezzie?

      How about an honour guard? A line of people down each side of the runway at Heathrow giving him the middle finger as his flight leaves.

      I am sure there would be more that enough volunteers.

  8. D Moss Esq

    Architect of UK’s hated scheme quits NHS, flees from Britain

    Did he "flee" or was he "transported"?

  9. kain preacher

    Damn he screwed up so bad they kicked him out of the country. Can we do this in the US?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How is it possible for these people to land another plum job after screwing the pooch so badly? I'm envious. All my stuff is running smoothly; which probably disqualifies me for plum jobs; but I could probably delete a couple of essential bits if that would help...

    1. Hollerith 1

      How is it possible?!?

      Because people hire 'faces that fit' and 'people like us' and so idiots hire idiots. Look at the top management of so many firms. Or look at project managers.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear Australia,

    We're very, very sorry.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mission accomplished!

    and its Architect should be GENEROUSLY rewarded for the Success! Instead we cruelly send him packing, in chains, with festering wounds, on a 3-month long journey with no sunlight in order to toil and sweat in the colonies down under, until they send him off to America!

    1. kain preacher

      Re: Mission accomplished!

      Hey hey keep him down under we Americans have enough trouble, unless you want us to send our civil servants(TSA, USPTO) to the UK.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mission accomplished!

        we can swap our civil servants for your civil servants and see which party sinks the ship faster!

        1. kain preacher

          Re: Mission accomplished!

          we would both lose. The difference between culture would sink the shipas both sides have do idea what do with each other system. Americans would lose because they would get on face book and bash their boss and at the end of a libel law suit

          The British would lose it when we tell them you only get week off for for vacation and 3 sick days. Of course the British might find it weird having to hide behind 3 inches(7.62mm) of bullet proof glass. Just remember don't have you bacon. If you get stuck in the bay are and need to go to 60m(96km) better make it a day trim or get up at 4am.

  13. x 7

    good riddance.

    another moneygrabber off the NHS payroll

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge


      More than likely to be replaced by another one of the ilk.

  14. FozzyBear

    Two hundred years later

    The British are still using Australia as a penal colony

  15. Stevie


    Infectious energy.

    Very witty, Wilde, very witty.

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