back to article FBI dumps on IoT security

The FBI has decided that your Things are too risky to be allowed anywhere on the Internet. Curiously, given that the Internet of Things is backed by some of the largest tech vendors in the world, the Bureau has also decided that responsibility for security – and for understanding the capability of hardware and software – …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IoT needs to be "secure by default"

    Otherwise people are going to end up dying. :(

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: IoT needs to be "secure by default"

      And some would say, "And that's a problem WHY...?"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: IoT needs to be "secure by default"

        Coz it might be the wrong people. It might be us. :(

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: IoT needs to be "secure by default"

          To which the reply would be, "Better Luck Next Life..."

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Insecurity of Things

    Traditional breaches are serious, but limited in scope. Passwords, credit card numbers, basically just information. But IoT security is going to have crazy implications.

    Turning people's heat off in the winter.

    Turning people's AC off in the summer.

    Turning off power at night, making it easier for burglars to steal without getting caught.

    Smart phones, smart homes, smart meters... if only we had smart people instead!

  3. xybyrgy

    You're seeing a DDOS from where??? .... Well, while you're in there could you grab me a beer?

  4. Mark 85 Silver badge

    A clue!!! Can we buy the FBI a clue?????

    The FBI is also concerned about medical device security – although, again, it flicks responsibility back to the patient instead of telling the industry to fix its persistently lax practices.

    "Yes, Mr. Smith. We understand you are unconscious, but you need to wake up, run an update, and reboot your heart monitor."

    1. Wommit

      Re: A clue!!! Can we buy the FBI a clue?????

      Someone bough the FBI a clue.

      It's currently in a windowless room being "interviewed."

  5. RedneckMother

    " and patches should be kept up-to-date"

    But the Eff Cee Cee wants to lock down the firmware of comms devices, so how the FUCK is that going to happen?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: " and patches should be kept up-to-date"

      I'm hoping for gunfight between the Eff Cee Cee and the Eff Bee Eye.... Ok.. maybe not a gunfight... will a pie fight do? Custard is the preferred weapon of choice.

      1. DropBear
        Trollface

        Re: " and patches should be kept up-to-date"

        I will settle for nothing less than mud wrestling - female category, natch.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: " and patches should be kept up-to-date"

        I'm hoping for gunfight between the Eff Cee Cee and the Eff Bee Eye.... Ok.. maybe not a gunfight... will a pie fight do? Custard is the preferred weapon of choice.

        Lets just call it a bunfight of potentially epic proportions, and be done with it.

  6. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Well said FBI

    The IOT is a pile of shite just waiting to be dumped on the poor unsuspecting public.

    Theu don't have a clue about what it means in the wider term and how invasive it could (or rather probably will) be.

    Keep it separate or not in your home at all.

    How long before that new baby monitor is sending data to the nappy {1} manufacturers (And the rest of the world)?

    {1} for readers on the RH side of the Pond, Nappies are what you for some reason call Diapers.

    1. Captain TickTock

      Re: Well said FBI

      RH side of the pond? are you looking south?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well said FBI

      Have to wonder what will happen when the fridge breaks down and the ONLY options for a replacement contain Big Brother hardware you can't remove (as in try to remove it and you kill the fridge, void the warranty, and have to get a new one again), such that it's either submit to Big Brother or go without cold stuff.

      1. Pliny the Whiner

        Re: Well said FBI

        "Nappies" is much too precious and cutesy-poo for Mericuns generally and Mericun men in particular. Just typing the word makes my testosterone levels plunge.

        Look. I don't care how much networking hardware is built in to my sparkly new stapler and pencil sharpener, since neither one is getting my Wi-Fi encryption key or a connection to my Ethernet switch. If they figure out a way to talk to each other that doesn't involve me, I'm fine with it, provided it doesn't turn into that Colossus/Guardian unified clusterfuck thing from the movie "The Forbin Project."

      2. Mike 16 Silver badge

        Re: Well said FBI

        You could try getting help from Archibald Tuttle (Or is that Buttle? Damned auto-correct).

      3. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Well said FBI

        "kill the fridge, void the warranty, and have to get a new one again"

        You violate the DMCA and your appliance will rat you out to some TLA agency that will arrive in blacked out SUV's and beat you until you pee blood. + ten years in prison.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obvious advice is obvious. Sort of gratifying that a gov agency is putting a serious face and a scary letterhead on the advice though. Maybe someone will listen.

  8. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Curiously, given that the Internet of Things is backed by some of the largest tech vendors in the world"

    This is written as if there's something unexpected about this being the source of problems. Given that their practices over the last few years there's nothing curious at all about this.

  9. Spaceman Spiff

    The fact that the FBI is just so clueless, or that their so-called leaders refuse to listen to their people who do have a clue, is mildly disconcerting to say the least! And now they want us to provide "back doors" into our systems so they can further spy on us? And as if real threats cannot figure those out? Get real folks! The inmates have truly taken over the asylum...

  10. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    All your pacemaker are belong to lightbulb.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This should be obvious

    With defective Windoze O/Ss that can not be made secure and the internet where many do not desire for it to be secure, the IoT is just a bad joke waiting for hackers to ruin your day.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This should be obvious

      Which makes you wonder what happens when you have no choice but to jump in because it's everywhere you turn, with no option to escape it other than to abandon civilization and retreat to some secluded spot in the country that's still within sight of photo satellites with increasingly-high-resolution lenses? When all roads lead to Big Brother, who's right behind you, what choice is left?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This should be obvious

        When all roads lead to Big Brother, who's right behind you, what choice is left?

        Make your own stuff. ;)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: This should be obvious

          That doesn't prevent you being seen by your neighbors and everything out on the public streets. You have to bring in the parts after all, since most of us don't own mines and smelting plants. And even with a lack of eyes, computers are gaining increasing ability to scrutinize.

  12. MachDiamond Silver badge

    Money

    "Curiously, given that the Internet of Things is backed by some of the largest tech vendors in the world"

    Of course it's backed by a bunch of alternative business model startups. Sell people loads of useless tat that will be fun to play with for a day or two and then forgotten until somebody turns the AC on set to -10 and the next electric bill arrives with a bunch of zeros.

    Wait, the electric and gas companies might be the ones hacking your Nest thermostat. Adding a few quid to thousands (millions?) of utility bills can add up fast.

  13. Michael Habel Silver badge

    Funny I'd have thought that these Clowns would have welcomed this as a way to make their lives simpler to spy on us.

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