back to article Attempted bank robber demands cash transfer ... to his own account

A wannabe bank robber has been jailed after ditching the traditional "hand over the cash" approach in favour of asking for money to be transferred into his bank account. According to the Ashford Herald, master crim Paul Neaverson, 61, walked into a NatWest tentacle in Rainham, Kent, held a knife to a cashier's neck and – since …

  1. msknight Silver badge

    In Kent of all places.

    There were a number of locations where I could have easily believed this to have taken place ... but Kent! *sigh*

    1. fishman

      And I was expecting to read "In Florida, ........"

    2. Robert Grant Silver badge

      @msknight

      I'm from Kent, and this is totally unsurprising. Remove your home counties bias - it's meaningless.

      1. seanj

        Re: @msknight

        Indeed, if Kent is the Garden of England, the Medway Towns are the compost heap.

        (Source: lived in Gillingham for two years)

        1. Robert Grant Silver badge

          Re: @msknight

          I grew up in Chatham :) Weirdly, my dad used to say that same thing about the compost heap.

          1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

            Re: Re: @msknight

            The compost heap thing dates way back. I heard it when I were a nipper in Sittingbourne.

  2. Blank-Reg
    Facepalm

    Fucking muppet

  3. Filippo Silver badge

    The mind boggles when attempting to understand how someone can be this stupid and yet manage to survive to 61.

    1. Elmer Phud
    2. ChrisInAStrangeLand

      "The mind boggles when attempting to understand how someone can be this stupid and yet manage to survive to 61."

      The age is right for dementia. If he wasn't all there at court it would explain the ridiculously tiny sentence for committing two bank robberies.

      No point wasting 50k per year incarcerating a man who isn't going to be able to tie his shoelaces in a few years.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Point of order: He didn't commit two bank robberies. He attempted two.

        Two years and a criminal record are likely to be sufficient punishment to stop him doing it again, it's not like he lead a life of crime and this was his latest exploit.

        I believe both tellers were behind glass screens so waving a knife about may have been a bit worrying but it's not like he stabbed someone.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I mean seriously.

    Who in their right mind would trust Natwest with a bank transfer.

    The mind boggles.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Indeed. He should have gone straight to HSBC.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Indeed. He should have gone straight to HSBC

        Definitely. HSBC is the only bank I know that has no problem with handing the entire contents of your bank account to a person who isn't even on the account mandate (yes, really, no joke).

  5. Andy Non Silver badge

    Can't help wondering if his intention all along was to go to prison? Maybe more to this guy/story than revealed.

    1. elDog

      Re: A bit of a holiday?

      First thought that popped into my little mind. The blokes looking for lodging for a couple of years.

      Not to get too graphic either but at our advanced years a bit of sex might be nice too.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A bit of a holiday?

        Not to get too graphic either but at our advanced years a bit of sex might be nice too.

        What, you mean he's so desperate that the prospect of two years "picking the soap up" appeals? Surely there's easier means of getting his oats?

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      @Andy Non

      Was my second thought, just after a mental ailment. Taking on a new job at 61, maybe prison is not so bad, 3 squares a day, bed, toilet, library maybe.

      I better bookmark this story for future reference.

    3. Little Mouse Silver badge

      Re: "his intention all along was to go to prison?"

      He held a knife to someone's neck, but he may as well have left it hidden in his pocket for all the difference it made to the sentence - "two attempted robberies and possession of a blade".

      He may be disappointed by the short sentence, but I doubt he's as disappointed as his victim.

      1. Richard 26

        Re: "his intention all along was to go to prison?"

        He held a knife to someone's neck, but he may as well have left it hidden in his pocket for all the difference it made to the sentence - "two attempted robberies and possession of a blade".

        This appears to be an something of an exaggerration. His lawyer said: “Tellers are behind reinforced bullet-proof glass. Unless they take leave of their senses in offering the money, it is not going to work." Similar remarks at the Kent police site: http://www.kent.police.uk/news/latest_news/150909_neaverson_sen.html

        1. Schlimnitz

          Re: "his intention all along was to go to prison?"

          "Of no fixed abode"

          He was a lot less dangerous than this article makes him sound, if the customer next to him was able to calmly take the knife out of his pocket.

          Poor chap, does look a bit like dementia.

        2. Jay 2

          Re: "his intention all along was to go to prison?"

          Whilst it is true that tellers are behind toughened glass etc, many banks nowadays have various bods lurking in the foyer/lobby to try and help/flog you stuff. In some cases they'll have access to a terminal/PC/whatev which could do an electronic transfer.

          Though as pointed out (above) in this case, there was a screen involved.

    4. Mark 85 Silver badge

      I don't know much about Kent, but he wanted to go to Corfu for a job interview. Not a job? Is Greece better than Kent? If he didn't have the dosh for that trip and the job didn't pan out, was there a plan B?

      I suspect you might be right on prison being a career goal.

      1. Ole Juul

        I suspect you might be right on prison being a career goal.

        That, or he thinks being a golf instructor is on par.

  6. JeffHome
    Coat

    Wonder if he got the job, though

  7. msknight Silver badge

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    Thank you most kindly for the offer of the interview.

    I regret that at the moment I am unable to attend, due to personal circumstances.

    If you are able to hold the position for about a year, it would be very much appreciated.

    There is also some new paperwork to add to my references that I have, by law, to declare. Please find it attached. I hope that it doesn't count against my application.

    Yours sincerely,

    A.Muppet.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Police are now looking for his accomplice and launched an appeal for the whereabouts of a Mr Oliver Hardy.

    Police believe Mr Hardy was last seen trying to push a piano up a long flight of steps.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Isn't this the loan application procedure these days?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, that's when the bank holds a knife to YOUR throat.

  10. Queasy Rider

    This reminds me of the clown many years ago who wrote his holdup note on the back of his personalized deposit slip.

  11. Mark York 3 Silver badge
    Holmes

    The Other Rainham

    I was expecting the Rainham in Essex (Where the Outlaws used to live).

    Sherlock for obvious reasons...

  12. Queasy Rider

    You know you're a loser when...

    You try to cash a stolen payroll check, and the teller recognizes her husband's name on the check. Yup, it happened decades ago.

    1. CaptainHook

      Re: You know you're a loser when...

      You know you're a loser when...

      You try to cash a stolen payroll check, and the teller recognizes her husband's name on the check.

      *****

      Unlucky maybe, but not what I would call a loser in the sense which I think you mean... unless said loser knew the couple of course and still didn't think she'd notice.

    2. Mutton Jeff
      Joke

      Re: You know you're a loser when...

      Still, at least you kept to the straight and narrow since eh? Lessons learnt :-)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You know you're a loser when...

      Ahh, the misadventures of John Smith.

  13. Winkypop Silver badge
    Coat

    He would have got away with it too

    He just balked at the 5 pound transfer fee.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This reminds me of a joke.

    How do you know if you have been kidnapped by a redneck?

    He demands $7 million, in unmarked million dollar notes!!

  15. John Robson Silver badge

    Erm...

    "He has led a law abiding life"

    No he hasn't - aside from all the other laws he will have broken, he held a knife to the necks of two cashiers and attempted to rob two banks.

    That's not law abiding...

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Facepalm

      Re: Erm...

      I'm pretty sure there is an implied "Up until now..." at the beginning of that sentence.

  16. Valeyard

    hm.. are we missing something?

    if he was being blackmailed or under duress he could've done this with an army of his creditors standing by ATMs ready to empty it at a moment's notice. it would only have to be in for a minute or so for them to get at enough of it and although he'd be in jail they'd be gone

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