back to article Cuffed Texan woman holsters loaded gun IN VAGINA

A Texan woman cuffed for possession of methamphetamine was packing a "fully loaded" handgun inside her vagina, according to Waco cops. Ashley Castaneda. Pic: Waco Police Department Ashley Castaneda poses for Waco Police Department A traffic violation prompted officers to pull the car in which Ashley Castaneda, 31, and …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yay, about time

    It's been a long while since we had an American with gun story. I thought the world was turning upside down.

    >29.5g of the same in Castaneda's purse.

    Given the theme of the article, is "purse" a euphimism and they didn't notice the gun when they found the drugs. If so that must be some purse.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Yay, about time

      It's the US: Of course it's a euphemism. Although, somewhat sadly, I suspect they're using it as a euphemism for handbag rather than fannypack.

    2. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Yay, about time

      Did she purse her lips?

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

    4. Nameless Faceless Computer User

      Re: Yay, about time

      Not American. From Texas. Texas is is a special place where they hunt deer from helicopters... or hunt hogs with machine guns from helicopters. It is by no means representative of American's view on... anything.

      When we read a news story like this, we ask, "Did this happen in Texas? oh, that explains it."

  2. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Charged with "Possession of Methamphetamine in a Drug Free Zone"

    Eh? In the brown star state? ..not The Netherlands!? Although can't help thinking The Netherlands would have been an altogether more, er, fitting locale...

  3. chivo243 Silver badge

    Understatement?

    "violating state concealed firearms laws"

    I wonder if they had the decency to do this "search" back at HQ, or just did it in the back seat of the cruiser?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Understatement?

      Decency?

      Probably did it on the roadside.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Facepalm

      Re: Understatement?

      Someone they have arrsteed on drugs charges tells the police they have a concealed weapon and you wonder if they'd wait until they'd returned to the station before searching them.

      1. chivo243 Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Understatement?

        I don't recall reading the perp volunteered the information regarding the "cleverly concealed" weapon. But as she was fingered (hehe) for drugs I guess they did the pubic search in public?

      2. phuzz Silver badge

        Re: Understatement?

        Is this the time to point out that if someone with black skin had admitted to a concealed firearm things would have ended very differently?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Black Skin

          Ohh, ooops!

          I didn't realize I pulled it out by the trigger...

          Can they please send someone to clean up the back of the car?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The perp now faces an additional charge of "violating state concealed firearms laws", as Reuters put it.

    I dunno - that seems pretty concealed to me.

    A salute for the sub-headline. Quality stuff.

    1. Chris Miller

      She probably didn't hold a "Concealed Handgun License", which (in Texas) is not available to anyone with drug or alcohol convictions.

  5. ardubbleyu

    Why is it that Lester always gets to report on this kind of thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, it just seems that other Reg hacks are missing out on the really important stuff...

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Lester is the most senior and highly paid of the El Reg Hacks and so he gets first pick of the really juicy (ewww, did I just type that?) stories.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Thanks for the upvote Lester!

        PS, is the cheque in the post yet? The last one bounced.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          I'll get the accounts department onto it forthwith

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could that really have gone off?

    I'm no expert, but doesn't that require the gun to be, er, cocked first? Or was she genuinely leathering a cocked gun? It would be appropriate in a metaphorical sense, but doing that in reality borders on the suicidal. No, scrap that, that IS suicidal.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Could that really have gone off?

      Quite. No mention of it among the sensationalism, so the answer's probably "no"... Just as there was no mention of the safety switch, so that was probably "on".

      Suddenly not nearly so exciting (for the rest of us at least)...

    2. Daniel B.

      Re: Could that really have gone off?

      The article says it had a bullet in the chamber, so yes, it seems it was cocked. Probably not the smartest thing to do, but then, she was probably under the influence of the other stuff she was hiding.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Could that really have gone off?

        You can have a bullet in the camber and not "cocked" i.e. hammer pulled back.

        1. Laura Kerr

          Re: Could that really have gone off?

          True, but the firing pin would then be resting against the cartridge. Which makes her even more brainless.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Could that really have gone off?

            True, but the firing pin would then be resting against the cartridge. Which makes her even more brainless.

            I'd say that due to the close proximity of the materials of that, er, "holster" there is also a fair chance that the hammer would catch on something, both in case of an accidental discharge or when "unholstering" the weapon.

            Be as it may, I am disinclined to investigate deeper, as it were. As someone who has always been told to keep such gear meticulously clean I shudder to think what a mess you'd face here...

            1. Maty

              Re: Could that really have gone off?

              'As someone who has always been told to keep such gear meticulously clean ..'

              re we talking firearms or gynecology here?

          2. Rich 11

            Re: Could that really have gone off?

            True, but the firing pin would then be resting against the cartridge. Which makes her even more brainless.

            One good squeeze, and...goodnight, Vienna.

            1. Sir Runcible Spoon

              Re: Could that really have gone off?

              My brain is broken, because I read that as

              "One good squeeze, and...goodnight, Vagina."

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Could that really have gone off?

              Goodnight Virginia, Shirley?

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Could that really have gone off?

                Goodnight Virginia, Shirley?

                From the looks of that mugshot, I seriously doubt there'a anything "Virginia" about her....

          3. Chris G

            Re: Could that really have gone off?

            Being a hammerless semi auto, it most likely has a floating firing pin and a safety so that it can be carried with one up the spout. Cocked and locked would be the correct phrase.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Could that really have gone off?

              I doubt it would have smelled very fresh.

          4. TimeMaster T

            Re: Could that really have gone off?

            it really depends on the gun. Some have the firing pin resting on the primer others have it held back a bit. Also, some semi-autos have a interlock that prevents the pin from moving unless the trigger is pulled while other models have an enclosed hammer.

            There are also models that you can lower the hammer after chambering a round so the gun is not cocked.

        2. Rick Brasche

          Re: Could that really have gone off?

          most of these do not have an external hammer. rack the slide to chamber a round and you lock the striker back on the sear. Pull to go Bang.

          tho unless the weapon has a damaged sear, or she's really diligent with her keigels, there's no way she'd pull the trigger while "holstered".

  7. frank ly

    If it was fully loaded ...

    ... how much would it weigh? I'm sorry but I can't help thinking about practical considerations.

    1. tony2heads

      Re: If it was fully loaded ...

      about 170g

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: If it was fully loaded ...

        Are you sure? An African sparrow could carry that..

        1. AbelSoul

          Re: African sparrow ...

          As could an African swallow, although I dare say it would slow it down considerably.

          1. Pedigree-Pete

            Re: African sparrow ...

            HOLY GRAIL Batman. Upvote.

  8. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    Son of a gun, that's amazing!

  9. Tromos
    Coat

    Lends a new meaning...

    ...to vaginal discharge

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lends a new meaning...

      And we have a winner! LOL, thanks :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lends a new meaning...

      ...to muffler too.

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Lends a new meaning...

        "Silencer?"

        "No just the opposite. Made her yelp."

        Also: ewww.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lends a new meaning...

      I've heard of lead in your pencil but never lead in your pussy.

  10. David Roberts
    Joke

    Just a shot in the dark...

    .....but is this the time for the old chestnut "If we'd had your mother with us we could have hidden the Uzi"?

    1. skeptical i
      Devil

      Re: Just a shot in the dark...

      cue George Takei: "Oh, myyy!" o_O

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's the point?

    Did she carry the gun for "protection"? How would that work in practice?

    • Women is threatened by a robber
    • Women: "Give me a moment, just need to fetch something
    • Women unzips, gun slides out
    • Robber runs away screaming like a little child

    1. Eddy Ito

      Re: What's the point?

      Probably a last minute thing as the cops were walking up.

      "Quick, hide the gun!"

      "Where?"

      "I don't care, anywhere!"

      I will say, if that pic is the actual pee shooter, the plods did a fine job of cleaning it.

  12. Anonymous Blowhard

    Breech Birth?

    "It is conceivable that the gun could have gone off inside our suspect and that would have been deadly because of the proximity to internal organs."

    Wouldn't that depend which way up it was?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Breech Birth?

      Which way do you believe you can insert a gun in such a place? Maybe you need to know more about guns, women, or both, LOL! ;-)

      1. Little Mouse Silver badge

        Re: Breech Birth?

        @A/C: So you prefer to stick loaded guns up your cavity of choice deadly-end-first?

        Fair enough - that would make the initial insertion more comfortable. And the handle would of course be more accessible when it came to removal.

        I just can't help thinking that there might be other factors to consider...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Breech Birth?

          I would prefer not to stick anything loaded up any cavity of mine.

          But if you're in a hurry to conceal a gun, even a loaded one, I guess you have little choices about the way to insert it. It is true that cavity can stretch a lot, but it may require some time, and be painful. Also, dependeding on the barrel length, trying to insert the handle could leave out a strange evidence for a woman...

      2. illiad

        Re: Breech Birth?

        well, it does depend on how 'fully loaded' she was!! LOLOL

  13. g e

    Hang on

    Now being a Brit I accept that I don't have an all-encompassing knowledge of firearms, we don't seem to need them as much over here but this doesn't seem to work...

    magazine, semi-automatic, revolver

    Magazine I can settle with (thought that was a 'cylinder') but are revolvers semi-auto? I thought that referred to how the next round was chambered from the firing of the previous one?

    1. gotes

      Re: Hang on

      The revolver was a different story.

    2. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: Hang on

      1) revolver different story

      2) actually some (rare) revolvers do rotate the cylinder on firing, these are called "automatic" (although, strictly speaking they are of course semi-automatic). Manual (most) revolvers rotate the cylinder and cock the hammer when you pull the trigger (rather than when you fire the round).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hang on

        Like this one.

    3. pffut

      Re: Hang on

      Depends on how you define things I guess...

      If you go by ''automatically placing another round ready to be fired", then no, as the spent case stays in place...

      If you go by "one shot fired for each trigger pull with out any other action by the shooter inbetween" then I'd say a double action revolver could be called be semi-auto while a single action revolver would not (as the SA requires the user to cock the hammer manually inbetween trigger pulls, wile the DA does that for you, at the expense of heavier/longer trigger pull.

  14. TRT Silver badge

    The neighbours were watching...

    but that's one arrest where you don't want the curtains twitching.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Coat

      Re: The neighbours were watching...

      If the perp was ticklish how could she stop herself?

  15. Desidero
    Paris Hilton

    another article on The Internals of Things?

    sticking up, er, for her Right to Burrow Arms?

    was she Barreling down the Highway?

    & the old standard, "Rocky Roccoco, at your cervix" -

    I assume she was worried it'd go off half-cocked.

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Happy

      Out of the fog, into the smog...

      // I wonder where Ruth is...

    2. earl grey
      Pint

      Rocky Roccoco

      upvote for the Firesign Theatre reference. well done mate.

      1. Desidero
        Pint

        Re: Rocky Roccoco

        Whew, someone else here is old & twisted enough to remember. Next round's on me.

        1. Someone Else Silver badge

          Re: Rocky Roccoco

          There are more of us around than you think...(or dare imagine)

          1. Desidero

            Re: Rocky Roccoco

            Speaking of "imagine", I found myself thinking if she'd been able to pack in a couple cigars and a few minibottles of whiskey, she was all set for a knockout Saturday night.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New market opportunities...

    I believe in the US there are new opportunities for anatomically shaped "double action" guns and kevlar reinforced condoms...

  17. jake Silver badge

    Stupidity ...

    ... SHOULD hurt!

  18. Andy Non

    Dumb question

    When the woman stated that she was packing a gun; would she have been trusted to remove the weapon herself or would one of the police officers have done the deed? Either way it conjures up bizarre images in the back of the police car.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dumb question

      Yes it is a dumb question and if you really did have any doubt the answer is in the article. I understand it might be beyond your attentioon span to go back and remember what you were looking for so I'll reproduce the relevant part "Officers immediately stopped and a female officer searched Castaneda".

      1. lucki bstard

        Re: Dumb question

        You have to feel sorry for the female officer ' Mummy what did you do at work today?'

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: Dumb question

          A way of life for proctologists.

  19. Elmer Phud

    Purse

    The 'purse' in question is the same as Kity Fisher's 'pocket'.

    And the Latin roots to these and vagina are the same.

    'Is that a gun in your pocket? Damn, these new-fangled contraceptives'

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WTF

    After a quick bang?

  21. Sgt_Oddball
    Coat

    happiness is...

    A warm gun....

    Mines the one playing 45s.

  22. Paul Renault

    What is that slide/switch for?

    S = Shoot?

    F = Fire?

    / damn designers...

    // I wonder if it's the model 61-2, the Barrel Nut version.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: What is that slide/switch for?

      I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that S = Safety :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What is that slide/switch for?

      Presumably S = Safe(ty)? God only knows what they thought was wrong with a red dot.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: What is that slide/switch for?

        Is it a UK version? Shitter / Fanny?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Somebody misread the constitution

    It's not the right to be armed when you're bare.

  24. Bucky 2
    Paris Hilton

    Yeah, but it's Texas

    ...so it's barely even news.

    Now, if she could aim and shoot it from its holstered position--THAT would be something.

  25. 404

    How corrosive

    ..is the natural healthy vagina*?

    What finish holds up better in that environment? Regular bluing, nickel, painted, or fancy drug dealer gold plating? Off-hand guess would be stainless steel - surgical grade. DARPA would probably give you a grant.

    * Long ago in the Before Time (pre-internet), in a state far, far away, this commentard worked for the Arizona DoC - never worked a female prison (I'm not insane, I'm a man. Why borrow trouble?) - anyway, seen some interesting things keistered in different security level male prisons. One I'll leave with you:

    Remember when your mum told you to never put money in your mouth, because you don't know where it's been? Well, I was working visitation one weekend and the supervisors suspected this random inmate was bringing drugs through. So after his visit, we took him in over for dry cell watch. A Dry cell watch is where somebody is placed under observation over a period of days, given all the food & drinks they want, with nothing but a bucket to do their business in. Then, some lucky officer (guard, whatever), gets to stir through the results with a stick, looking for contraband. On this particular guy, he shat two $20's and a $10. So the next time you go sticking money in your mouth, remember the inmate ATM...

    Have a great day!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least

    It wasn't a 45 - would feel sorry for her boyfriend

  27. Charles Manning

    A new NRA gun quote

    "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead..... never mind".

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    [Double post]

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Never do this, kids!

    Always separate the amunition from the weapon, before stowing.

    1. fidodogbreath
      Coat

      Always separate the ammunition from the weapon, before stowing.

      Fortunately, she is also equipped with a separate internal ammo compartment.

      Mine's the one with the unfortunate odor.

  30. SoltanGris

    Public Saftey advice for the ladies

    Ladies.

    If you are so inclined to use your snatch for a firearms (handgun) holster

    do so with only a uncocked revolver or with a semi automatic that is

    striker fired as in Glock type designs!

    If using a revolver make sure it is of modern design that has a hammer

    block.

    Your precious will be safe and no unexpected discharge.

    Keep it snug, girls.

  31. Androdgenous CowHerd

    How's that old addage go again...

    A bird in the hand is worth a .22 in the bush?

  32. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Joke

    So, uh...

    "Is that a loaded pistol in your vagina, or are you just happy to see me?"

    First thing that came to mind when the breaking story was read to me a couple of days ago.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In which case, she's be right cacked if cocked, as it were…

  34. fidodogbreath

    Missing the real story here

    The perp now faces an additional charge of "violating state concealed firearms laws"

    Texas has firearms laws?!?!?

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