back to article Is John McAfee running for US president? 'My campaign manager told me not to comment'

Move over, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. It appears paranoid wild man of computer security John McAfee is running for US President. The website McAfee2016.com popped up on Tuesday, as well as a Twitter account for McAfee For President. The site was linked to from McAfee's official social media accounts before the posts …

  1. x 7

    is there a Dickhead party he could run for? Can't see anyone else having him on their books

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      is there a Dickhead party he could run for?

      There are plenty. The two best-known examples are the Republicans and the Democrats.

      1. Irongut Silver badge

        Any UK party would also fit the bill. They are all dickheads.

      2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        "is there a Dickhead party he could run for?"

        "The two best-known examples are the Republicans and the Democrats."

        And Mad McAfee is not nearly as pathetic as the bunch of losers currently trying to get our votes.

    2. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      "is there a Dickhead party he could run for"

      Pray he finds one this time round. Otherwise, if he waits till 2020 it'll be John McAfee vs. Kanye West, the zenith of human accomplishment will be achieved, and in 3.5 million years the dominant intelligent insect species will be asking their archaeologists "So, this evolved ape extinction stuff, erm, was it an asteroid or what?"

      1. Lionel Baden

        Suggested Viewing Material

        @ TitterYeNot

        Watch idiocracy

    3. fajensen Silver badge

      We should be relatively safe as long as they have a fake Nucular Football.

  2. Charles Manning

    So....

    We can expect an already lethargic .gov to be even more swamped with extra background tasks.

    1. dotdavid

      Re: So....

      You will have to pay ridiculous sums for presidency updates.

      Wait, the US already has that.

  3. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. Michael Thibault

      Re: Wack City...

      >a Kenyan as president

      Or Root Mean Square in the running. That could round things out nicely, entertaining-wise.

  4. Chris Miller

    Would it be simpler

    to produce a list of US billionaires who are not running?

    1. Lars Silver badge

      Re: Would it be simpler

      Perhaps, but some nice graphics showing which billionaires have bought which candidate would be nice. Do they bet on several "horses", and something about the inner workings of the Koch Politburo.

      1. Dan Paul

        Re: Would it be simpler

        Interesting that you concentrate on the Koch family when George Soros and Michael Bloomberg are far more insidious.

  5. FozzyBear
    Devil

    I hope he wins

    It would make the nightly news the most entertaining thing to watch on TV.

    1. LucreLout Silver badge

      Re: I hope he wins

      @FozzyBear

      It would make the nightly news the most entertaining thing to watch on TV.

      It would indeed, but my only reservation about that, and you'll have to forgive me for raising such a dull trivilaity, is that they have metric fucktonnes of nuclear weapons. McAfee would be deeply funny as President, right up until he wasn't....

      Even commies buy iPhones, so if we're going watch America elect the joker, I'd rather said joker was Trump. He'd be averse to nuking his customers for shits & giggles. Frankly, the world has earned a rest from the Bushes and the Clintons playing at Hatfields & McCoys.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    His campaign slogan should be: McAfee - making Idiocracy a reality in the US of A.

    1. x 7

      Idiocracy......thats a nice new political system

      the ultimate evolution of democracy/meritocracy/nepitocracy/ineptocracy/idiocracy........

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      We already have it. Where have you been for the last X (pick any number) years?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thank you!

    We in the US deeply appreciate all the great Britcom shows you've sent over the past 40 years: Python, Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, and all the rest.

    We'd like to reciprocate, but we are crap at making funny TV shows. Our only skill nowadays seems to be "reality" shows, which are about as real as the silicone attachments you see on many of our "actresses".

    However, this year, we present the most outrageous comedy of them all, a presidential campaign. Never before has there been such a cast of " characters". It may not be as dramatic as Game of Thrones or House of Cards (or as funny as Yes, Minister), but we think it should keep you giggling for a while.

    Between the campaign and the new "religious conscience" excuse for not doing your job, we as Americans are proud to give the rest of the world some much needed laughs.

    And hey, it beats dropping bombs on you.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Thank you!

      And hey, it beats dropping bombs on you.

      I doubt that, the alternative puts us out of our misery. Farcical as it may be, the US election is real life and may have real impacts on the rest of the world.

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Thank you!

      Warning:

      Will Rogers once said something like, "The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected."

    3. Chris Miller

      Don't beat yourself up, AC

      we are crap at making funny TV shows

      3rd Rock; Parks and Recreation; plenty of cartoons (OK, different genre) - I'm sure others will have their own favourites.

      1. Sandtitz Silver badge

        Re: Don't beat yourself up, AC

        "3rd Rock..."

        Seinfeld and Muppet Show were funny from start to finish.

        SNL, Simpsons, South Park *were* really funny at their peak, many years ago.

        1. g e

          Two words

          Fawlty Towers

  8. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    Seems reasonable. If trump can do it...

    1. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

      I didn't realize how right I was... I would now MUCH rather vote for McAfee than the raging lunatic Trump.

  9. Martijn Otto

    First rule of business:

    McAfee anti-virus is now a mandatory purchase with every new computer.

    1. Afernie

      Re: First rule of business:

      "McAfee anti-virus is now a mandatory purchase with every new computer."

      Unlikely. He no longer owns it, and he's not the biggest fan of the product, to put it mildly.

  10. Fraggle850

    Shame Hunter S Thompson is no longer available

    He'd have made the ideal running mate.

    1. Peter Simpson 1

      Re: Shame Hunter S Thompson is no longer available

      And Trump has already claimed Sarah (or is it Bristol?) Palin...

  11. chivo243 Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Cue the Beatles

    you say you want a revolution.... Really, how would the public react if some truly undesirable were to be elected?

    1. Vic

      Re: Cue the Beatles

      Really, how would the public react if some truly undesirable were to be elected?

      Well, they've been somewhat passive the last couple of times...

      Vic.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Three schools of thought on this,

    1. The American people really are dumb schmucks otherwise how did Ronald Reagan and George W Bush get in power? The two dumbest people I've ever seen in positions of power.

    2. It doesn't matter you don't really have a democracy anyway and your current president's real name is Token.

    3. You'll either vote John Jackson or Jack Johnson.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "3. You'll either vote John Jackson or Jack Johnson."

      Don't forget about the third choice: the preserved head of Richard Nixon.

      AROO!

  13. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    You don't need to be mad to work here, but it helps

    must be catching

  14. CAPS LOCK Silver badge

    Vote Kang in 2016...

    ,,, or Kodos, it doesn't really matter.

    1. Afernie

      Re: Vote Kang in 2016...

      Or Cthulhu. Why settle for the lesser evil?

  15. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Happy

    My heart is for Bush, but my bush is for Hart

    Every 4 years gives me an opportunity to dust off this quote from the 1988 US Presidential Election, by a female Republican supporter:

    Monkey Business was the yacht in which Gary Hart was pictured with Donna Rice

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Donna_Rice_and_Gary_Hart.jpg

    Bush being George H.W. Bush

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: My heart is for Bush, but my bush is for Hart

      "You wouldn't change dicks in the middle of a screw, stick with Nixon in '72"

      // I'll just shuffle out quietly...

      /// Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts

  16. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Oh dear.

    Looks like the search for a new US president has generated a false positive.

  17. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Batshit crazy

    and so is John McAfee

  18. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
    Stop

    Not possible legally...

    ...as he doesn't meet the residency requirement - to be eligible to run, you have to have lived in the US for the previous 14 years at least:

    "No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."

    Not that Ted Cruz is worried about the "natural born citizen" part, of course.

    1. David Roberts

      Re: Not possible legally...

      14 years ain't the same as the last 14 years.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not possible legally...

      Taking the literal interpretation of the quoted phrase it doesn't actually say that those fourteen years have to have been the most recent fourteen, just that the person should have had fourteen years of residency, but perhaps there is some legal precedent that has tested this argument?

      As a natural born resident limey it's not really my place to comment upon the political situation of our cousins across the pond (although that probably won't stop many of my fellow countrymen from doing so), however, if JMcA were to head up a political party over here I'd vote for 'em just for the lulz.

      All settled democracies have unelected (and often unaccountable) mechanisms in place to stop the comedic procession of figureheads that the electorate votes for from doing any real long term damage to the future prospects of the ruling class.

  19. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      There's no definition of the term "natural born citizen" in the Constitution or anywhere else in US law - there's a good summary of the question here:

      https://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/R42097.pdf

  20. Spleenmeister

    Cheered up my morning

    He will, if nothing else, liven up the race. And it's provided a great antidote to the fawning nonsense we are getting about QEII in the UK press today

  21. Alan J. Wylie

    Perhaps he should join forces with Lawrence Lessig

    https://lessigforpresident.com/

  22. Schlimnitz

    I wonder

    If this is to try and make Trump look reasonable?

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: I wonder

      Probably the reverse -- an attempt to discredit Trump by making a buffoon look more reasonable.

  23. BlindProgrammer

    Difficult to remove

    If he once gets installed in the Whitehouse, it will be impossible to get him out again without trashing the place

    1. x 7

      Re: Difficult to remove

      "If he once gets installed in the Whitehouse, it will be impossible to get him out again"

      What a thought......John McAfee meets and sleeps with Mary Whitehouse. Who was the madder of the two? And what would she have thought of him...?

    2. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: Difficult to remove

      Welcome, Blind Programmer. But can I just ask, why would you want to program blinds? That's the IoT gone mad!

  24. BlindProgrammer

    Piggy-back

    He could just piggy-back into the Whitehouse attached to some other poor sucker, like President Adobe

  25. Simon Harris Silver badge

    And on another continent...

    Will Eugene Kaspersky be making a bid for Putin's office?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And on another continent...

      One could only hope! Does he have Ricin and Polonium proof body armor?

  26. Gareth Perch

    If you vote in a local election and forget to untick the box, will it automatically vote for McAfee in the presidential election?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If Arnie is ruled out for not being born American then surely Scottish born McAfee is also ineligible?

  28. Peter Simpson 1
    Facepalm

    Trump...the REAL story

    I'm almost 100% convinced, that Trump is secretly being paid by The Onion, to "run for President" as a piece of performance art.

    // at least, I certainly hope so

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