You wrote all that to explain to your missus that dodgy text you got didn't you?
What’s your name, chuck, and where do you come from? “My name’s William, Cilla, but my friends call me WILLY eheh heh heh and I’m from HORNY Hornsea!” (Studio audience cheers noisily for no obvious reason) And you, number two? “My name’s ROD uhuh huh huh, and I’m from uhuh huh huh SHAFTesbury.” (Studio audience …
He could have replied to it and told the person they had the wrong number. Hopefully that would be followed by them replying saying something like "OMG! soz, lolz" and then HL wife would know Mr Dabbs would never have anything to do with someone who wrote text messages like that. All would be well with the Dabbs household once again.
A friend of my sister once did one of those blind-date-type shows ('Perfect Match', IIRC, on some Australian commercial channel we didn't get out in the countryside at the time.)
For that show at least, all the contestants were preped in advance by being asked the questions before the show and giving their honest answers. Then a team of writers 'sexed up' their answers for them to use when the show was recording. So the answers given weren't entirely made-up, but were not the 'genuine' answers either.
Daily I splutter "who could be so naive!? only one in a thousand could fall for that!"without reflecting that this means millions of people already on the internet
it's a pity that the clearest example of the"long tail"in action is spasms and scams
Many years ago our radio club asked Granada TV for a tour round their technical facilities. What we were offered were seats for a recording of a Hughie Green show - I can't remember which format. The chance to see something behind the scenes in a studio was better than nothing - so we went along.
I can recall only three things about the visit. Before the recording a comedian told some very blue jokes to warm up the audience. During the recording they had a man directing the audience when to applaud. The famous warm smile of the host was switched off and on in sync with the recording light.
It was a revelation about the confections that appeared on our screens.
"What did you expect?"
It was somewhere between 1962 and 1970. In Britain we were generally still rather naive about the media industry. The "TV Times" magazine certainly didn't delve behind the scenes. Large crowds of people would visit the TV transmitters' public open days - with the vast majority disappointed that the soap "Crossroads" wasn't made at the transmitting station and they couldn't meet "Meg".
No doubt the famous warm host himself was switched off just before the studio lights - being careful to observe the correct power-down sequence of course. In those days, they were wary of deactivating the containment field and releasing the nameless horror from beyond time and space. Laying waste to the planet and the eating of all of humanity's souls would have been bad for the ratings. Or so they used to think before the advent of Big Brother Bakes Celebrities on Ice. Now we are reduced to endless ranks of lidless eyeballs, staring at idiot celebrity homunculi grooming each other's verminous pelts. Meat bellows whooping into the void through gurning teeth, over and over - forever. With regular commercial breaks, of course.
" A Nigel Kneale box-set - does such a thing exist? "
There's a box set of Quatermass DVDs and a Nigel Kneale biography.
There's also the "Stone Tape" in a BBC set with "Ghostwatch"
"If it was mates wives and audience members then he was quite acceptable as far as 60/70's televsion personalites go,"
I don't think that his producer Jess Yates was on friendly terms with him. Green deliberately leaked details of an extra-marital affair that destroyed Yates's career. Yates was supposed to be a very moral Christian as a presenter and producer of "Stars on Sunday" - hence the scandal. It was many years later before it was known that Yates's daughter Paula Yates was a Green offspring.
You know the way they say all young men will one day end up looking like their dads and young women their mums?
A friend of mine used to babysit a couple of kids, one of whom was a gorgeous little 6-year old girl, looked just like her Mum, blonde and bubbly. One of those kids you just know will grow up to be a heartbreaker.
I met her again many years later as an adult. She'd grown up to look just like her Dad, poor kid...
you do realise that Bugs Bunny was the first TV mass-audience transsexual?
See this web page for a full list of cross-dressing appearances
some of the clips can be seen at
I totally agree with this, but I'm willing to go further.
If the exposure of your extra marital activities was likley to lead to you wanting to commit suicide then sorry you are the last person who should be indulging in those activities. If you are going to have an affair you better be damned ready to take the consequences when it all goes pear shaped. The hackers might have brought this data out into the public when you werentexpecting it, but affairs have a way of being discovered by themselves anyway, despite what those in the act might think...
"The truth will out" applies in the case of an affair just as much as any other "conspiracy"...
If the exposure of your extra marital activities was likely to lead to you wanting to commit suicide then sorry you are the last person who should be indulging in those activities.
Agreed, but it's also not beyond the bounds of possibility that a suicidee might have been the one being cheated on either. Not sure it's the case for the ones I've seen reported, but "suicide" and "Ashley Madison" being in close proximity shouldn't automatically derail any sympathy.
For months I would get texts every few days from a stupid young woman called Jade. They were all invites to parties "wiv lots of drugs and booze". Several times I texted back to say that she had the wrong number but this had no effect so I rang her number. The conversation went like this:
Me: Please stop texting me, I don't know you
Jade: Who are you?
Me: That's the point, you don't know me so stop texting me
Jade: Who are you?
This was repeated a few times until I lost my temper and told her that she was a fecking idiot.
Jade is now enraged and passes the phone to some guy who is going to "sort me out". This would be a miracle of technology if some dude can beat me up over the phone so I'm not unduly nervous about it.
Dude: Who are you?
Me: Jade keeps texting the wrong number, can you please delete it?
Result! No more texts from the lovely Jade :)
A few years ago, an attractive young lady somewhere in the UK decided to get rid of the irritating and illiterate young men who tried to chat her up on Friday nights by giving them a random phone number. That random number was mine. Used to get some great texts on Saturday mornings.
@ Irony Deficient
> Anonymous Coward, “wherefore” ≠ “where”; “wherefore” = “why”.
Yes, your grasp of the English language is impressive, but obviously doesn't extend to Shakespeare.
In Romeo and Juliet, the meaning of “Wherefore art thou Romeo?” is not “Where are you, Romeo?” but “Why are you Romeo?” (i.e. “Why did you have to be a Montague?”).
If you don't like El Reg (anymore), then why the fuck do you (still) read it…?! I don't come here for the erudite and accurate journalism, Oz I know that's in short supply, I come here for the laughs. If the Twat In The Hat, as he shall henceforth be known (if he ever wears that hat again, any road. Sorry Dabbsy, loves ya really…) quit writing here I'd probably not bother coming back myself.
Actually, that's probably not true - this is about the only forum specialising in a topic in which I have an interest (obviously) from which I've yet to be banned.
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At least you'd have a good chance of finding someone your same 'gender' and not 5 women being harangued by 10,000 sweaty, nervous guys with Internet porn running in another window.
Understand that I'm not going to be called up for a photo shoot for GQ anytime soon, but my only two instances of meeting women on the Internet resulted in someone grossly misrepresenting themselves (they were like 300 lbs) and the other was a beautiful woman with a decent body, amazing eyes, and a little billy-goat beard. (I almost was able to get past that, as I was very lonely, but not quite)
Life is a sad pageant.
"Madison" has had a horrifying rise as a name for girls since the movie "Splash" appeared. Madison Keys does very well on the women's tennis circuit. And I can remember a fourth-grade baseball team that had two girls named Ashley. So the names may be regrettable but are not unbelievable.
Yep, one of the Olsen Twins is an Ashley as well.
I think Dabbsy is a little behind the times here - or showing some British reticence,
It appears Americans will name their kids almost anything, and sadly we Britons are following blindly.
How do "Future" or "Royal Reign" grab you as daughters names?
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