WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Hey, you're getting good at this. The captions for last week’s picture of a woman with a tarantula on her shoulder proved popular, as it received 400 comments. TheManCalledStan kicked it off with: “Relax! I'm a GM spider, poison been replaced with tattoo ink! So it was a butterfly you wanted on your shoulder, right?” It was …

[Andy Non]

No, I can't find anything in the log about the problem.

[Stuart 18]

What did you say?

"Sergei was that paws the log while I check for my email on AM?"

"Arnie said he'd be back"

"Sergei hold up! Using a large branch rather than lots of twigs is just a metaphor for combining multiple inspirations in one post rather than spaffing the comments with dozens of one liners" ?:-)?

[Andy Non]

Hey, who swiped my keyboard?

[msknight]

Incomming enemy pogo stick. Six o'clock high. Low. High. Low...

[8Ace]

Who nicked my piano ??

[TeeCee]

Stop Press: Liberace reincarnated.

[msknight]

It is the latest in anti-spy invisible keyboard technology. It's so good, even I can't see it. The down side is my e-mails are undecypherable. Or is that the good side? I forget.

[JakeMS]

No! I will not compare the market for you!

[Come to the Dark Side]

As the Gocompare singer walked past below, the meerkat gave the log a gentle push...

[msknight]

Alex demonstrates his touch typing skills. He's so good that not only does he not need to look at the keybaord, he doesn't need to look at a screen either.

[Vince Lewis 1]

Gonna roll this log on to the next bastard that mentions car insurance.

[Alistair]

"I'll just keep this log safe while those devs are chasing their tails"

<even if I don't have a UK mailing addy handy>

[Andy Non]

Welcome to the help desk.

[Andy Non]

Heads up, the boss is coming!

[msknight]

Even when not at work, Hector couldn't help repeating his mantra... "Have you tried turning it off and on again."

[cookieMonster]

Seriously...

. . . . you want to pay by cheque?

[msknight]

[hypnotised] ... "I will buy an iWatch..."

[Michael Hawkes]

C'mon, Tim. Get to the good part already. One more thing! One more thing! One more thing!

[msknight]

"You compare me with Android ... and the phone won?!"

[Someonehasusedthathandle]

"I surked through all your lgs and cud't find any ugs nywhe" said Vladmir licking his claws.

[Khaptain]

All it takes is a little bit of Catalonian Police Weed and then all I want to do is stare......

[muddysteve]

"Dad, do you know this log is on my foot?"

"You hum it, Son, and I'll play it"

[Anonymous Coward]

Use the BCC field. Simples.

[Jango]

(sometime in 2009)

Hi, is this the Canonical help desk? My name is Maverick, I am a meerkat.

[Anonymous Coward]

Jesus Lester! You'll never get that thing in there.

[Anonymous Coward]

and down in meerkat manor the meerkats waited patiently for Windows 10 to download. Little did they know it would be fraught with peril.

[msknight]

"Ve don't have any hard drives. Only vodka. Da?"

[msknight]

"Hurry up Bogdan. Ve need more ram to run dis weendows thing."

[msknight]

"Where is this double glazing peoples? Sergei said I needed Vindows."

[Anonymous Coward]

Can I swap this WD crap for a sammy SSD ?

[vmistery]

Can't read my, Can't read my No he can't read my poker face

[Julian 8]

On the lookout for Windows 10 supposed market growth

[BlartVersenwaldIII]

KILROY WAS HERE

[Andy Non]

But, the guy I saw sneaking out of the office with all our computer equipment said he'd replaced it all with virtual kit in the cloud.

[W Donelson]

I had a Western Digital drive ONCE. Load of carp.

Would never even take one for free.

[Chronos]

Re: I had a Western Digital drive ONCE. Load of carp.

I beg to differ. WD's range and Travelstar 2.5" drives both pre and post Borgmentation have turned out to be the most reliable drives for me. I still have a couple of first generation 160GB REs in a RAID1 set running 24/7, way past their five year warranty period.

So I'm absolutely chuffed to bits. Thanks, El Reg!

[Anonymous Coward]

"Log says No"

[Marc 25]

Sergei has also invented load parking, behind ramp technology, simples!

[Andy Non]

Hey guys, we've won the contract for the outsourced ISPs customer service department.

[mike2R]

What you get when you can't afford peanuts.

[Dan McIntyre]

So I asked my manager about a salary increase...

[Fading]

After manually searching his complete directory tree, Geoff was most perturbed to discover his pron collection had been removed....

[ifraser]

Ok so i scared Arnie away, and I have lost Sergie, I really need to

compare my options more often.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

This new iLog thing is brilliant for resting my hands on. Now, where shall we have lunch?

[msknight]

"I was sold this virtual computer. They say it will work once I have the glasses."

[Big_Ted]

Man thats a hot bit of kit.

WOW I just got wood .

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

re last weeks prize

With nearly a dozen entries, I was sure I'd win the prize. Or that at least one would get an honourable mention.

In fact, no pun in ten did :(

[m0rt]

I hate Mondays...

[m0rt]

Sony trials new invisible PS4 controller in the wild....

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

keyboard cat had to start somewhere

In fact, he started with a one-key xylophone.

[John Stabler]

"I've been through this Madison log three times and I still can't find any women."

[Dave 12]

Forget the captions

Just give me the hard drive please.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Damn it Jim!

I'm a meerkat, not a beaver!

[Inspector71]

Not sure about this new log format, .....can't see the wood for the trees in this.

[Admiral Grace Hopper]

One more crack about tailing the logs and I'll lose my patience.

[Thecowking]

"OK so I've been working on this branch, how do I commit it?"

[D@v3]

Apparently, there is a web around here somewhere that I am supposed to log onto

[I Am Spartacus]

OK, I modelled so you could get in to el Reg again. So where's my fee?

[aregross]

Windows 10? I'll sit right here and wait for SP1...

[TitterYeNot]

Huh? Vat do you mean, these aren't the stolen Ashley Madison sexy chat logs? Vladimir asked suspiciously.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Premier Mirkova poses for the cameras with girlfriend Anastasia at Tatra National Park in Liberated Poland.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Pretend to look busy

Meerkat Jesus is coming!

[kryptonaut]

GCHQ finally persuaded Sergei to hand over all the logs

[Peter Gathercole]

Oleg kept a close eye out in case Aleksandr or Sergei ever came back. Oh, how he'd punish them for abandoning him in the back-end of beyond, without even as much as an OLPM (One Laptop Per Meerkat!)

[Evoflash]

A Meercat Werewolf Is Logged On.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

eh, sorry, no cheddar, sir

I'm afraid we don't get much call for it around these parts.

[Mattjimf]

What do you mean there's no new iPhone?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Anton tried hard not to look surprised

which was hard for him as "looking surprised" was basically his entire repertoire.

[Cosmo]

Sergei!

Arnold Schwarzenegger is on his way up! You know what to do... *wink*

[Mantra]

A log is for life - not just for yule

[Somebloke]

Look Sergei - I got wood!

[Dave 122]

After a heavy night out, Sergei woke up in the forest, completely naked and unable to see a thing without those glasses!

[SalisburyGooner]

Meerkat Caption

"Should I alert the rest of the gang that Redmond is releasing another set of NVidia driver updates for Windows 10?"

[DaveH77]

Logi goes back to it's roots with it's new log based keyboard. Apple tree variant available.

[LordSlaphead]

Obvs.

What do I know about internet comparison sites? I'm a bloody meerkat for heaven's sake. Ask a Register journo, they might know. Or not.

[Anonymous Coward]

Tim was silent as the emptying of the Great HP Gulag kept going for what seemed to be hours and hours...

[Dave 44]

"Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, .... You wanna buy some of Clintons emails?"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Igor's eyes were saying

"how witty and urbane of you, Mr. Bond" but his hands were saying "now if I can just push this log down this hill and knock you into the shark-infested pond, I will be rid of you forever!"

[Dr. Ellen]

I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all here this morning.

[Peter Gathercole]

Rocket Dog was anxious to see whether Flower would come back and reclaim leadership of the Whiskers.

(Google the names, it will become apparent what this is about)

[VonNeumann]

I can't believe they're making me run logrotate manually every morning. Wish I was a Bastard Meerkat From Hell

[Frank Nicklin]

Vladimir, I said don't forget to log out, not take the log out.

[dowdinsk]

this meerkat was visibly unimpressed by the new Google logo

[Oliver Humpage]

Sweet theme

Hamish was concerned that Google had just announced Android Meerkat.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

It's not easy being a meerkat

No, wait. It's absolutely brilliant being a meerkat!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

And now on meerkat news

We have winner meerkat caption contest.

[Peter Gathercole]

I thought it was real until I got close enough to see that it was one of those damned garden ornaments from Poundland.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

There were far worse fates that could befall a meerkat

But accidentally super-gluing ones hands to a log was among the most embarrassing.

[FredDagg01]

So ... you want it when?

[Ben Burch]

Welcome to the Genius Bar! Why yes, we at apple have a workplace diversity policy. Why do you ask?

[Drone Pilot]

"You're asking if the backups ran last night..."

[MrTuK]

MrTuK

Let's see if Windows 10 can log this one !

[MrTuK]

When a Meerkat and Cortana have a dispute !

Hey Cortana, where do you want me to send this log ?

[devoncatt]

windows 10?

No I'm not updating to Windows 10! I want to keep my privacy in my den not on a Microsoft server..

[BQuatermass]

New photo reveals the years of indoor living are taking their toll on Julian Assange

[MrTuK]

Hey Cortana !

Let's see if Windows 10 can log this one !

[UncleTom]

Apple's Genius Bar now offers insurance from its iMeerkat employees

[Haku]

"I wish those damn adverts go extinct like wazzup ones, Aleksandr & Sergei just won't shut up when off camera. Only last week they compared me to undead ferret!"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Please "go compare"

"over there"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

"For last time"

I not silly accent. This Soviet Russia --- silly accent you!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

This is why we can't have nice things

The meerkats have them all.

[Marcus Fil]

Sergei found a convenient log behind which he could leave a log of his own.

[kryptonaut]

Sergei kept himself informed by watching the local gnus

[Colin McKinnon]

Naked photos of insurance marketing exec linked to Ashley Madison incident

[MrTuK]

Hey Cortana

How do log off ?

[MrTuK]

Hey Cortana !

I hope you pipe is big enough to handle my log !

[MrTuK]

The Market.com's communication to MS about Windows 10's data collection !

So you wanna compare Logs, do you ?

Where shall I put it ?

I'm not sure your pipe is big enough to take it all in one go !

[td0s]

Why is my computer frozen?

All I did was a mere cat

[msknight]

"Oh my god. Is that really ... Steve jobs?"

[ChubbyBehemoth]

Sigh

By the time the moderator has finally read my entry the prize will have been given away...again... How long will it take this time 3 days,.. 5 days..

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Re: Sigh

By the time the moderator has finally read my entry the prize will have been given away

You're supposed to enter this week's competition, not last week's one.

[msknight]

Re: Sigh

Your kidding, right? ... By the time the moderator gets to these comments ... they'll probably be taken away in a strait-jacket already, and the winner will be by tombola. El Reg comentards are deadly!

[Andy 73]

You went to the lengths of hiring a real meerkat, but you're going to CGI the laptop in? I'm RADA trained, darling, of course I can type!

[Grade%]

I wanted an iPhone.

But NO, I get this dumb old jungle phone. The words are all one note and hard to understand. Thanks mom, dad; I'm the biggest joke on the veldt now.

[Scott 53]

Dave! Dave!

[Mystic Megabyte]

Logjam

Just when you need a bit of privacy that bloody Stuart Berman turns up.

[Robert Ramsay]

"Armando Iannucci's TED talk on reincarnation was well received"

[Anonymous Coward]

Do you mind not taking my picture while I'm using the urinal please.

[kryptonaut]

Tonight - Grieg's piano concerto by Grieg...

[Anonymous Coward]

Sergei emphasised, during his comparison of SVN and Git, that when migrating from the former to the latter, you must put the concept of Trunks behind you and just think in terms of Branches.

[Gobhicks]

If only there was some way to check out a Nail Bar before you get there....

[macjules]

Payroll Enquiry?

"Hi this is Steria Metropolitan Police payroll support helpdesk. How can I help you?"

[chris street]

Aleksander meerkat: "The servers are running well Sergei."

Sergei (offscreen) : "I remember back when all this was 386's...... and we had to manually install Windows from floppy disc"

[WalterAlter]

Your eyelids grow heavy...

the admin password is moving your lips

[MyffyW]

European Union unveils latest humane approach to immigration. Meet your new border police.

[Andy Tunnah]

Stop asking me about insurance! What, we all look alike to you ? Racist!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

bricks n mortar outlets still struggling to compete with online cat à logs

[shoeshopboy]

I wanted a Hard Drive, Not Hard Wood!

[Mihai]

Marketing poster:

Buy windows Defender - Meerkat edition. (Big fonts)

Best protection for OUR logs of YOUR private data! (Small Print)

[e_darren]

Get off my back!

[ServerMonkey]

Alan! Alan! Alan! Look! It's a new iphone!

[laplandes]

"What do you hear, corporal?"

"Ducks, sir. A whole army of them. Stay down there and I'll keep a look out."

[theleader]

Meerkat the Actor

"I hope this is a well known photographer"," I've worked with 'Richard Attenborough' you know and appeared in Meerkat island ' The Movie' one & two! "

[MontanaMW]

Catatonia set in as Shaka heard about the Ashley Meerkatson hack.

[Duffy Moon]

Could somebody please get this log off my legs?

[DarkLordofSurrey]

Meer Kat You Tube?

[samzebra]

The Don

Do me this favor. I won't forget it. Ask your friends in the neighborhood about me. They'll tell you I know how to return a favor.

[KnightGarion]

I gotta check this Ashley Madison log quick... Is that my wife?!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

so this meerkat walks in and sits down at the bar

The barman turns and says "hey, is this some kind of joke or something?"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Now if I can just push this Ashley Madison log into the river

The torrents will take care of the rest

[lek]

"I am a meerkat."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

[K.o.R]

The latest round of cuts finally affects BBC News.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Despite a dreadful week in which his pet fish had died and a storm had ripped a large branch of his favourite tree, leaving it blocking the driveway, Cadbury the meerkat was not overly despondent. "I'll kill two birds with one stone," he thought. "Percy needs a proper burial", he reasoned, "and that large log will make a fitting monument to him---I can use it as his tombstone". He set to work and with a few hours of digging and then rolling the enormous log into position, he had completed his task.

Exhausted, a satisfied smile crossed his face as he surveyed his work. "Yes," he thought, "I'm really happy with what I've done with the plaice."

(with apologies to PKD and, well, everyone)

[msknight]

"What? Me? A TV star!"

[s5PGmU]

BOFH vs. GEICO Round 1

[Fungus Bob]

...I miss testicles

[BrazzaB]

Honestly dear! My computer must have been hacked! I've never been on Ashley Madison!

Put that knife down please!

[Dave 44]

Wait, wait, wait.. Are you saying my wife can see my details on the ashMad list ?!?

[tempemeaty]

This is my server log.

[flilotuk]

Sergei, now retired from sponsoring Coronation Street, can no longer afford glasses. He's still looking for the cake lady, and will guard his chocolate log with his life.

[SoberGuy]

The manicurist said wait here, sit still, I won't be long.... 2 hours later....

[Quotes]

Cupid Stunt

Rebekah Brooks pitches her new concept for Fox News

[Martin Summers]

Down at the Microsoft store South Africa, there was much anticipation for the arrival of left over Windows 8 stock.

[Martin Summers]

I'm going to have another crack at it with a second entry on the same theme.

Down at the Microsoft Store South Africa (Game reserve division) the manager waited patiently for the first Windows 10 machine shipments they had been assured were coming soon.

[tempemeaty]

Ubuntu ... Maverick Meerkat...

"I was a penguin once!"

[AdamG57]

No, I am not Will.I.Am

But I am eligible to join his band!

[AdamG57]

...

No, our website only functions on Safari!

[AdamG57]

Sorry no phone service here, the trunk line is down.

[msknight]

"Ze next bastard who mentions da insurance and goes [squeek], better hope zey have cover for log damage."

[msknight]

"This log file had to be leached slowly. It took fifteen years to get to this size."

[Anonymous Coward]

So much for log rolling being an easy way to improve sales of my new book.

[Tubz]

Seriously, that's not a wig on Donald Trumps head ?

What app do I download to read the log ?

[Fruit and Nutcase]

nice guys never get the girl

So the Spider gets the Girl and I get the Log

[Soap Distant]

Oii!

I can see the pub from 'ere!!

[AdamG57]

Film Reference 1

My Timon this planet is brief...

[AdamG57]

Film Reference 2

your father is dead...that's the fast spinning platters of Life.

[AdamG57]

That HD is one sexy thing...

"I believe in meerkattles, Praise the Lord."

[i steal your leccy]

I'm so brilliant, the Russians named a space station after me.

[i steal your leccy]

Are you sure this is a Nail Bar?

[i steal your leccy]

I wanna tell you a story...

Max Bygraves reincarnated!

[i steal your leccy]

Star Claws!

[i steal your leccy]

Bit embarrassing, i've got me claws stuck.

[i steal your leccy]

Look!, Look!, i've just invented 'Air Piano'.

[i steal your leccy]

I'm practicing my 'rolling Pin' technique for"Bakeoff"

[i steal your leccy]

Well, it looks as though all that habitat of mine, that was cleared so that Western Digital could build their new manufacturing plant, was well worth it.

[AlgernonFlowers4]

Sergei! What have you done to baby Olog?

[Scoobydoo]

Duck Army!!

"One more push of my log down the hill" says compare the meerkat, "and I'll have the best viral of that damned duck army!!"

[Triggerd]

Am I the only one who didn't miss the windows start button?

[Spudley]

Harold’s escape plan was nearly complete. All he had to do now was push the log really hard at just the right moment.

[Spudley]

(all together now...) "I’m a lumbercat and I’m okay…"

[Spudley]

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap POUNCE!

[Spudley]

Log on; log off. Log on; log off

[Spudley]

"Muahaha!", though Boris, those humans will pay dearly for calling me a 'mere' cat!

[dasbnau]

Sysadmins everywhere fear for their jobs as scientists have now successfully trained meerkats to read logs, provided they are written in Braille.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Catfight!

(glass) breaking news...

"Two female keepers at London Zoo became embroiled in a vicious catfight over the llama keeper who ditched one and dated the other.

Caroline Westlake, who tended the meerkats, was sacked after hitting her love rival in the face with a glass that sliced open her cheek at London Zoo’s Christmas party.

Kate Sanders, who works in the tiger and monkey enclosures, was given a final written warning and banned from Zoological Society of London events for two years for her part in the brawl."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11846084/London-Zoo-love-rivals-in-vicious-fight-over-llama-keeper.html

[Al fazed]

He was getting really pissed now about all this upcycling for business, everyone knows that log drums just don't do images !

[i steal your leccy]

"Just when i thought i was out, they pull me back in!"

[i steal your leccy]

"I would like to welcome the heads of the five families from New York & Jersey".

[i steal your leccy]

"I demand a shrubbery!"

[i steal your leccy]

Meerkat+log+The Registers sense of humor.

Have i won?

[i steal your leccy]

EXCLUSIVE!

'Leader of Anonymous finally uncovered!'

[i steal your leccy]

Traditional keyboards are out of the question for this little chap

[i steal your leccy]

Right....which hand is it in?

[i steal your leccy]

He's probably thinking...

"Just how many HDD's did Western Digital give to The Register?"

[i steal your leccy]

"Windows 10 or Ubuntu, Windows 10 or Ubuntu.......hmm"

[i steal your leccy]

Hi, could i have a Big Mac and fries and a small Pepsi, to eat in please.

[i steal your leccy]

"Could you help me please. I would like a refund on this 6TB HDD"

[i steal your leccy]

"Welcome to TravelLog, my names Serge, would you like a single or a double room?"

[Barely registers]

Hire me as your tester - I eat bugs for breakfast.

[Hans 1]

Timon: ♫♫ Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from meeee! ♫♫

Pumbaa: Timon, Timon, Timon, you are confused, Sebastian sings that in "The Little Mermaid".

[Andytug]

"Log in as root, simples!"

[Anonymous Coward]

We're auditioning for pictures of Cats, not meerkats. Now fuck-off.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Cats, not meerkats

Racist! I'm just as much a Feliform as your stupid moggies. And cuter, too.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

@Frumious Bandersnatch

any self-respecting megalomaniac intent on world domination has a cat - not a "mear" cat

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03429/week-putin_3429444k.jpg

QED

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Ugh, these lifeforms have no fashion sense at all

No point in checking up on them for at least 200 million katlus.

[Rol]

Listen, not all meerkats are Russian, Mr Mcafee. Please put the gun down and we can sort this confusion out.

[TruthZyme]

Biting the hand that needs IT.

Hmm... A bit of hand gnawing might be in order here. I though it was quick-drying nail varnish but it turned out to be super glue.

[TruthZyme]

Drat! I've been barking up the wrong tree! Now I'll have to start all over again on this one.

[John Sims]

Miniaturized Meerkats lead to faster HD spindle tech

[i steal your leccy]

Who's pinched me Bongos?

[i steal your leccy]

winning this competition is a meer bagatelle.

[i steal your leccy]

Who's my favorite Bond? Why, it's Roger Meer of course

[i steal your leccy]

Meer tea vicar?

[i steal your leccy]

My favorite video game? Why, it's Meertal Gear Solid of course

[i steal your leccy]

My favorite music? Why, it's Heavy Meertal of course.

[i steal your leccy]

Who's my favorite British sculptor? Why, it's Henry Meer of course.

[i steal your leccy]

Who's my favorite survivalist? Why, it's Ray Meers of course.

[i steal your leccy]

Who's my favorite games designer? Why, it's Shigeru Meeramoto of course.

[i steal your leccy]

'Hello Meerto'

[i steal your leccy]

'Meer today, gone tomorrow'

[Jon Green]

One look at the Weasel War Dance, and Alexei knew the meerkats had lost Strictly.

[Hilmi Al-kindy]

Typing on a touch screen feels so wooden, miss my trusty IBM model M keyboard.

[MAF]

Sergei hated hates Helpdesk Fridays - all other meerkats on long liquid lunches and HE gets 'lumbered' with watching all the logs...

[Rol]

"Angela Rippon"

"What?"

"Angela Rippon"

"No, how on earth was that an impersonation of Angela Rippon?"

"Well, she was famous for having gorgeous legs that you could never see"

"Ok, Ok, I'll do another one. Who am I doing now?"

"I have no idea"

"It's Reginald Bosanquet, obviously"

[Rol]

No, thank you very much Mrs Beaver, but I had a big meal before I left.

[Rol]

IT in the wild

and this is what a whisker would look like if a Jumbo jet was the size of my head, flying ten inches off the ground over a modern disc drive.

[StuartF]

I present you the "iLog". Simples

[Rol]

"Let's all live up in the cloud, you said."

"Without having to dig burrows we'll be more productive, you said"

"It'll be as safe as houses, you said"

"Well look at the consequences of living in a tree house, now it's all come crashing to Earth"

[Rol]

It's called speculative assumption.

We all enter our personal details on as many websites as possible on the understanding several of them will suffer data breaches and then Bob here, our expert legal eagle, will sue them into the ground.

[Rol]

Desperate to find a new home for his growing porn collection, Bob tries entering a caption competition, again and again.

He even changed his address and telephone number to the correct ones just in case.

[Rol]

Young Eric's first staring class.

[Rol]

"Err, Fiona Bruce?"

"No it's Ron Mael"

[Captain Obvious]

We have time for at least 10 more pints - bartender, give me a pint every 15 minutes for the next 4 hours of your best while we wait for Windows 10 to install and corrupt our machines...

[AlgernonFlowers4]

This is the new Gorilla marketing web strategy by

Boris for comparethelog.com

[msknight]

"You lost me after you said, 'In the beginning...'"

[Rol]

"I heal you of your afflictions, rise and speak gods truth"

"It so happens that you are the one millionth person to be HEALED OF THEIR SINS, and so qualify for a saintly bonus of a a Western Digital 6TB super duper hard disk drive, suitably weighed down with the awesome technology that WD supply as standard.

You are surely blessed."

[Rol]

No Vince. please for the sake of Jeremy Kyle. he just said you was a cunning linguist.

[Rol]

I told you to keep a straight face when I took your photograph.

This was meant to be for the National Geographic, now it'll be Larsonesque fodder for the rest of time.

[Rol]

So, you see, the humans made one fatal mistake and lost it all.

And in answer to Jimmy's question, yes there were other operating systems, but Windows 10 was the dominant one that had saturated the world.

[Easy E]

I'm ineligible, but so what.

I think it would be better for everyone if I just got rid of a few error logs.

[Cyberhash]

Is that beaver i see :)

[Richard505]

Code monkey at rest

Code monkey at rest

[howsmiff]

Sergei ponders:

Now, lets see! How does this compare to before they made me redundant?

[Spudley]

Look into the eyes. In the eyes, not around the eyes, in the eyes.

When I click my fingers, you will believe that you are a beaver. Not a meercat, a beaver.

[PK]

Meerkat uses a keyboard logger to try and pinch someone else's best gag...

[Colin 27]

Good morning. This is offshore support. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[Colin 27]

Dear friend,

I have $10,000,000 dollars in a bank account in Nigeria that I want to share with you......

[Colin 27]

Damn!

Is that really Arnie with my cinema tickets or is that a Terminator? I'll just ask.... hey, where is everybody?

[Colin 27]

Excuse me.

My Windows laptop crashed again. Can somebody help me? Anybody? Please???

[Paul Westerman]

Still no sign of the next BOFH episode, Sergei

[Dr Patrick J R Harkin]

Shhhs, Sergei, this technique work for Ewoks in documentary we saw.

Soon, Confused Brian robot no more. Cannot stand his stupid voice.

[periperi]

Code monkey will never get a pay rise!

[ServerSauna]

My bark is worse than my byte

[GZU]

"The Sysadmin said the logs would rollover but this one ain't shifting."

[Tony Jarvie]

Thank goodness I hid behind this log - they've taken Aleksander instead!!

[kryptonaut]

Basil Brush was beginning to regret using Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.

[kryptonaut]

Willy drew some strange comfort from the knowledge that, as the world's only emo weasel, he truly was alone in life.

[AlgernonFlowers4]

Go on Facebook, if you want my biometric data you're going to have to suck my log first!

[AlgernonFlowers4]

IANAL - I Am Not A Log?

[Bill Fresher]

Mr. Berman: "Excellent ... another addition to my Worst Caption Competition Photos Ever portfolio."

[Burnsie]

On the lookout for Windows 10 SP1

[kryptonaut]

What's that, Sooty? You drank eight pints of Ol' Jake's Dark and Musty last night, and now you're not feeling so good?

[kryptonaut]

Stop Press

CHESSINGTON WORLD OF ADVENTURES: Meerkat Escapes - Discovered Riding Log Flume.

[flipflopper]

Sergei knew it was time for more storage when his "waiting for the missus to a) put on make up, b) choose what to wear, c) any of the other frequent reasons she gave" log reached humungous proportions.

[DBarber]

Waiting for the new iPhone announcement.

[Anonymous Coward]

(In an Austrian forest near the border..another meercat pop up shop opens)

Welcome to 'Compared to Merkel.com', compare Quota Plans and European Syrian Assurances.

[AlgernonFlowers4]

I wonder what Apple meant when they said my log would be the same size, same shape, same smell but totally different?

[Burnsie]

Keep an eye out for the Pizza delivery, we don't want the developers nicking it again.

[Burnsie]

This new organic computer hasn't got a screen