May I poop through?
- Bicycle rider
- Possibly an electrician
- Possibly an insomniac
- Hates golf
Maybe ask a stool pigeon?
A spectre is haunting Stavanger Golf Club, a spectre which has been defecating into specific holes on the course. Groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord has complained that the Norwegian location he tends is being terrorised by someone "who, for unknown reasons, hates the game of golf. Alternatively, the person may have a fetish or …
Climbed a tree to disable the lights? I guess he probably tried to visit one night, was surprised by the lights when they came on, and then stopped by the next day during daylight hours to check out the surroundings and come up with a plan to evade it.
They'll need to catch him in the act, so to speak, to stop him I'll bet. I hope El Reg follows up on this, I'd hate to be left dangling!
"Unfortunately, with cat-burglar like skills, the man "climbed up a tree next to the lights and wriggled far out on a branch and dismantled the spotlights."
"How he managed the feat without electrocuting himself or falling is a riddle," said Frode Jormeland, another groundskeeper at the club."
Anyone who is capable of climbing up a tree and disabling spotlights whilst something is tearing at the fabric of reality (or the fabric of your underpants), deserves a beer for their efforts.
"You say that like it is a bad thing, Jake."
Do you REALLY want the .gov of your choice to tell you that you are not allowed to keep an eye on your own personal property? Have you thought that through?
> A private property in Norway needs to apply to put up surveillance cameras? Really? Strike Norway off my list of places to move if The Donald is elected Commander in Chief ...
I was surprised that they'd have to apply to monitor their own grounds; but at the same time, it certainly isn't something that would strike it off my list
Norway is a lovely place full of fine beer & chocolate, and magnificent scenery (of many types), and is also amongst the happiest places on the planet. Very high standard of living, mostly courtesy of the govmt's rather good approach to managing the extraction of their oil and the revenues obtained thereby.
My only complaint would be the price of booze and the limited availability of shops to buy it in. But that may well be a good thing, overall...
> Most Norwegians I know buy their booze at Heathrow!
Hmm not sure if they're still being ripped off at times, but agree with the sentiment.
Every time I visit I load up on my allowance for giftage to relatives. Plus add some hermetically sealed bacon & sausages, and some decent cheddar (gammelost is not quite the same thing!), and some Twiglets (!) and that keeps most of my relatives happy
There's lots of words I'd use to describe the output of Christianssands Bryggeri (*) , 'Bloody Expensive" would be top of the list, and the superlatives would stop at 'Adequate for task' ...
Can't argue about the scenery tho' :)
* Back in the day, the only beer you could get in Stavanger.
Thank you very much for this highly interesting and informative article. I read today morning several articles. I can hardly remember the content of any, but this will stick.
It is great to know that there is a place on earth, where not everybody can put up surveillance cameras as they like
". . . an application to put up surveillance cameras has been denied."
You need to get approval to put up surveillance cameras on your own property? Norway, I think I am in love with you.
And what's not to love? Gorgeous landscape, strong democracy, great healthcare, high standard of living, general lack of religiosity, athletic electricians - it's got it all. Okay, sure, it's expensive but then I live in Sydney so it's all relative.
Well, this is Norway, right? Kenneth might easily be a hunter, and whilst hunting in the great boreal forests to the North, may have observed many mighty denizens of that land "doing their business" (particularly after getting shot). So he's just extrapolating to humans his experience regarding bear and the like.
If only Donald Trumps course in Aberdeen wasn't so far out of town, "the turtle" could have ended up with a copycat. Back on topic, no-one keeps up a vendetta this long without a personal connection; my money is on one of the groundskeepers. Either that or it has become a traditional dare/rite of passage at a local school to go for a midnight 'hole in one'.
I'm a runner and I can assure you that the necessity to 'clear the decks' prior to setting out is even more urgent. My usual routes are also seriously deficient in convenient copses, the use of. Too much agrarian agriculture adjacent to the cycle paths. My personal temple is well trained by practice to evacuate twice a day to accommodate early evening runs in the week and first thing in the morning runs at the weekend. A decent diet is however required to achieve this, but then a decent diet is also required to support moderately intensive athletic exertions.
It wouldn't take much to install sensors on the holes to detect something the size of an adult(?) human add a prox sensor and loudspeaker down in the hole and set it to automatically play some recorded message like "Oi! Move on, this one's occupied!" Alternately it might be fun to have it trigger the release of some lightly compressed air or activate the spray irrigation system. There's lots one could do for a laugh without going Carl Spackler on the place.
Oh, I don't know about "no going Carl Spackler". A small, pressure-sensitive detonation of a small amount of one's explosive of choice might be very entertaining.. Especially for the follks at the local urgent care/emergency room... Drop the turd and it comes flying back at you while scorching various exposed body parts.
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This just brought back one of my funniest memories from school. We'd all go into assembly, listen to the usual propaganda and on the way out, in the hall back to the classrooms, would be freshly cooked arse-burger, tastefully presented, for all to admire.
This happened a number of times over a number of months and the 'Phantom Shitter' became legend, never seen, never caught, always funny, a hero of his day!
Sir, I salute you, two decades have past and still you're sticking it to the man. Bravo.
I am not sure what you've got against these golfers but you always be a hero to me.
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