back to article Ashley Madison hack: Site for people who can't be trusted can't be trusted

Ashley Madison, a popular website for married people wishing to cheat on their other halves, has been hacked with obviously serious implications for those whose details it held. Previously unknown hacking group The Impact Team posted online caches of personal data stolen from the website, whose motto is "Life is short. Have an …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I crying because I'm laughing so much.

    Time to get qualified as a divorce lawyer and cash in on the glut.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I feel sorry for your down-voters.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I crying because I'm laughing so much"

      Laugh all you like, I just hope you have checked if your missus is on there first !

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        --> "I crying because I'm laughing so much"

        --> Laugh all you like, I just hope you have checked if your missus is on there first !

        I did, she isn't.... but yours was :)

        1. Fibbles
          Trollface

          As was your mother.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "I did, she isn't.... but yours was :)"

          Oh well, it's only fair, she was bound to get me back for sleeping with your daughter.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Sadly no daughters but I have pet dog if you want :)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @AC

        Laugh all you like, I just hope you have checked if your missus is on there first !

        If only, I've had her on ebay for 6 months but no takers yet.

        Ta dum

    3. Greg J Preece

      This is the part I'm laughing my ass off at:

      Biderman told investigative reporter Brian Krebs that ALM was "working diligently and feverishly" to get the leaked data pulled offline.

      You want to remove information from the Internet. Good luck with that!

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You think I used my real names?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Get ready to duck

      You'd stop finding it funny when you find your own name on there. Of course you might never have been a customer, but why should that matter. It would be trivial to add random or even targeted victims into the data. If they are mixing things in with the results of other data thefts they could easily have all the amo they need to take you down, innocent or not. When you've lost your home, you've lost your job, you've been banned from seeing your kids again, your parents have disowned you and your friends have all take your spouses side. Then see whether you still find things so amusing.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Get ready to duck

        "You'd stop finding it funny when you find your own name on there."

        With my credit card information and street address? Yea, right.

        You don't have to invent personal details when there's a boatload of them already there.

        Also: Who's stupid enough to sign to a _cheating site_ with their real name and credit card information?

        Basically telling anyone in internet that 'heyhoo, I'm looking someone to cheat my spouse with! (and paying monthly fee for that privilege too)'

        With real name and address .... I can't really comprehend that, un-fucking-believable.

        How cheating the cheaters is not funny, tell us?

        Me being among them or not is irrelevant, it's always funny.

        1. BongoJoe

          Re: Get ready to duck

          I wonder how many people run into their own spouses on that site?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Get ready to duck

          "You'd stop finding it funny when you find your own name on there."

          With my credit card information and street address? Yea, right.

          As the post said, randomly added victims. You might not shop at findmeafb.com but you have shopped at imagood2shoes.com which has also been hacked, so just for a laugh lets add the goody2shoes in with the love rats. Lets see how many pay up when the shake down starts, sod it, we'll probably get a higher hit rate from goody2shoes.

          Or targeted, you once had dealings with save/cullthebadger.com or the wrongchurch.com or any other organisation which some loony somewhere has decided to hate. They've been hacked, it's all the rage these days. So these scum have gotten your details from somewhere. My adding your not so innocent, in their eyes, names in with the poor frustrated customers of findmeafb they've got you well into the prove your innocent realm. And some shit never washes off.

          How cheating the cheaters is not funny, tell us?

          Because many more innocent people will get hurt than guilty ones.

          1. Nigel 11

            Re: Get ready to duck

            At least in the UK, marital infidelity is not a crime, and is very rarely grounds for being dismissed by an employer. Your main worry is that your spouse might refuse to believe your denials. That aside, being on that list should merely be an embarassment. Also our libel laws are the strictest in the world. Anyone publishing the allegation that you were a signed-up cheater when you weren't, could be in expensive trouble.

            (It occurs to me that getting yourself hacked into that list might be a route to simultaneous divorce and profit for you and your spouse alike ...)

    6. goldcd

      Surely that must be the most valuable

      spam list ever released to lawyers.

    7. Ian 55

      Wrong sort of lawyer

      AM engaged in such interesting practices as sending members who had yet to pay 'messages' from automated bots in the hope that they would pay to read them and charging people who wanted to delete - as opposed to suspend - their account.

      Now, if you'd paid to delete your details and they turned up in the leak from this hack, I'd expect you'd be reaching for a lawyer, but not a divorce one.

      1. Anonymous C0ward
        Devil

        Re: Wrong sort of lawyer

        Because they know they're dodgy. Speaks volumes about what sort of people we're dealing with here, and I don't mean the h^Hcrackers.

  2. YetAnotherLocksmith

    LOL

    Cross-referencing with OPM will indeed be interesting.

    Had to laugh at "Whatever the motives", right after the section with the hacker's demands.

    1. Fibbles
      Black Helicopters

      Re: LOL

      To be fair, this site should be a prime target for the Chinese. Want to coerce a US official? Congrats, you now have leverage.

      If I were a nation-state pulling off this sort of thing I'd try to mask my tracks by making it look like a hacktivist script kiddie attack.

      Does anyone else hear that noise overhead?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: LOL

      The web site was hacked by virgins with rage

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    "Any and all parties responsible for this act of cyber-terrorism will be held responsible"

    Unless they're from North Korea !

    Just ask Sony !

    <cough>

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Any and all parties responsible for this act of cyber-terrorism will be held responsible"

      Some other news sites are reporting that it could be an inside job.

      I think this story is going to be the gift that keeps on giving.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Any and all parties responsible for this act of cyber-terrorism will be held responsible"

      Don't know why anyone needs to be scared. Judging by some of their ill-fated missile tests they couldn't nuke their way out of a paper bag.

  4. P. Lee Silver badge

    >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

    No, the conducting of dishonest relationships and the breaking of legal contracts is fodder for blackmail.

    The data is just additional evidence of it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

      Well, no.

      My masturbation practices performed in the privacy of my own home aren't fodder for blackmail.

      A video of myself performing said practices could very easily be used as fodder for blackmail.

      There, see? Once you substitte the emotionally charged adultery aspect of this (which seems to upset you a lot), it becomes much clearer.

      You're welcome.

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

        "My masturbation practices performed in the privacy of my own home aren't fodder for blackmail."

        That depends if you publically announce said practices and also who your employer is.... considering that you might be a priest, doctor or a primary school teacher....

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

          If I publically stated that I am was into weird masturbatyion practices that wasn't tolerated by my profession or state of citizenship, then I could arguably get into a lot of trouble.

          I could _not_ however be blackmailed - what would they threaten me with? repeating what I have already publically stated?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

            "I could _not_ however be blackmailed - what would they threaten me with? repeating what I have already publically stated?"

            Mass Media version ( exagerated but entirely feasible):

            AC has been officially recognized as the major public masturbator to all things underaged. ( Oops they modifed the truth) ... that you even go so far as to admit it publically on the Ashley Madison website ( now this would be the truth in part).

            AC who worked for Mass Corporation Company ( who did not want to comment) in Bristol and who lives nearby actively pursues his masturbation activity behind closed curtains at his home in Unfortunate Crescent...

            His neighbours stated that they often hear strange noises and coming and going at all hours of the day/night.. One of his old school friends stated that AC was always "touching" his pieces in the showers but as far as he knew was not directly invloved in sexual practices with any of his classmates..

          2. John Tserkezis

            Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

            "I could _not_ however be blackmailed - what would they threaten me with?"

            You don't get how the internet works, do you?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Big Brother

              Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

              The problem here is that even if the crackers drop the whole database in pastebin (pick an alternative), how many people are going to check every name they know. Then there's the problem of name collision. I know for a fact that there are 180 +/- people in my state (California) that share the same name (first, middle initial, last, just as I use them). Then there's name collision nationwide where there are multiple people with exactly the same name (first, middle, last). That doesn't even consider the idiots that keep signing up for things and using my e-mail address which dates back to the very beginning of GMail. Oh yeah, my identity has also been stolen at least once. That guy (?) is in New Mexico the last time I nailed him down.

              Since my last name is pretty unusual, especially in combination with first and middle, ya'd think that this isn't the best way to identify if anyone you know is cheating. Absolutely know that is.

              1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
                Coat

                Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

                " Since my last name is pretty unusual

                Yep. The only other people I've heard of with your surname are those guys who used to be the band behind Cliff Richard...

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

                  Jack's first name is actually Hank.

              2. x 7

                Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

                your name is Jack Zelazny and I claim my $69,000 blackmail or else I'll tell everyone or....ooooops..

        2. Nigel 11

          Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

          "My masturbation practices performed in the privacy of my own home aren't fodder for blackmail."

          Priest: embarassing. (Is it less or more of a sin than actual sex)?

          Doctor: recommended by recent medical advice discussed here in the Reg. Reduces your likelyhood of getting prostate cancer, if you're not in a relationship.

          School teacher: that's one heck of a leap isn't it? I guess there are places in the USA it could be a problem.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

            Priest : So the guy wearing a frock, preaching about the rights and wrongs of the world with his dick in one hand and the bible in the other is not likely to be seen as a very credible, leader of the cock. flock...

            Doctor : Let's just hope that he wasn't giving himself a quick hand job before you walk into his office for a tonsil examination. It wont be his vinyl gloves that are giving of that cheesy smell.

            School teacher: One of your kids comes home from school and says, "guess what Mr Bates showed us today".

            It's all a question of perspective.

    2. Just.Aguy

      Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

      Definitely for evidence in a divorce trial as well.

      1. Keith Glass

        Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

        Reports are, that divorce lawyers are ALREADY salivating over the possibilities. They might TRY the "fruit of the poison tree" doctrine to make the hacked evidence inadmissible, but with the data out there, other evidence could be easily found by investigation.

        1. Mark 85 Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

          Aha.... the American Bar Association is involved in this attack!!!!!!

          Mine's the one with the processes that need to be served. Might as well make a few bucks on the side...

    3. boltar Silver badge

      Re: >The leaked data could become fodder for extortion or blackmail,

      "No, the conducting of dishonest relationships and the breaking of legal contracts is fodder for blackmail."

      The hackers should be careful who they blackmail. 99.99% of people would pay up or go to the police. 0.01% would put a contract out on the hacker. I doubt everyone on this site are Mr/Mrs Nice Guy just looking for a bit of fun, there's probably some serious psychos on there too as you get on every private site. Mess with their private data at your peril.

  5. FuzzyTheBear

    Using words too lightly

    This is not terrorism .. this is criminality period. Calling anything and everything terrorism is simply removing any true significance to the word. And btw these people were adults , they know cheating is wrong they knew they could get caught so if they get caught .. that's their personal problem. I got no pity for self inflicted wounds.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Using words too lightly

      And the cheated on husbands/wives/partners who now get to face a world in which all their colleagues and family know that their partner cheated on them?

      How about those children who now get to be taunted in school of how their mom fucks around?

      Will you rubb your thighs in quiet anticipation of their misery as well?

      There will be other victims besides these "adults with self inflicted wounds".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Using words too lightly

        If I read this correctly you tell us that no, we may not tell the cheated spouse that the other spouse is cheating because "other victims" will get hurt, right?

        "Everything under carpet and it will be allright for ever"- ideology which leads just even worse suffering as the cheating will go on years and years. A betrayal too: You know the spouse is cheating but you don't tell it to the other spouse because the shiny image must be preserved at any cost.

        And the cost is always higher than cost of telling.

        Really, really bad ideology which transforms short term hurt to long term suffering.

      2. P. Lee Silver badge

        Re: Using words too lightly

        >And the cheated on husbands/wives/partners who now get to face a world in which all their colleagues and family know that their partner cheated on them?

        Do you really think most affairs manage to stay hidden? Of course a massive amount of damage is done by cheaters, but the damage is hardly inflicted by a website hack. If you need a website to have an affair, that isn't an affair, that's "Adult Friend-Finder" / "Moms need to F*#$%^ too!" trying to be up-market. I didn't think the fancy name and pretty graphics fooled anyone.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Using words too lightly

      I bet some of the users of the service are quite terrified, though.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Using words too lightly

      Terrorism - the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce

      Seems a reasonable use of the word to me.

      1. John H Woods Silver badge

        Re: Using words too lightly

        "Terrorism - the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce" -- Chris W

        That's a stupid definition, where did you get it from? It would make a mugger a terrorist.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          There is no non-stupid definition of "terrorism"

          So I, personally, encourage people to use the word as widely and as ridiculously as possible, in the hope that, eventually, politicians will stop using it as part of their rhetoric for justifying crimes.

          1. Nigel 11

            Re: There is no non-stupid definition of "terrorism"

            I'd call advocating, threatening or committing crimes against humanity a completely non-stupid definition. Many of the other (wider) definitions are also not stupid, although failing to bear in mind that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom-fighter certainly *is* stupid.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Using words too lightly

          it also fits the USA

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Using words too lightly

          I agree with stupidity but I think that's directly from the law.

          And that's written just like that on purpose.

          I wonder what is the purpose as the text is extremely broad. Very fascist law.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Using words too lightly @John H Woods

          Try looking it up in a dictionary. It is sometimes qualified with "especially for political..." but that is not to say exclusively. If a mugger or rapist is known to be operating in a certain neighbourhood doesn't that instill an amount of terror in the local residents. The word is not being used lightly it is being used correctly but you're blinkered by what you think a terrorist should be or look like.

      2. CommanderGalaxian

        Re: Using words too lightly

        "Terrorism - the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce"

        Isn't that how the police go about their jobs? No, serioulsy, think about it.

    4. Just Enough
      Facepalm

      Re: Using words too lightly

      It's strange. Any other attempt by self-appointed moral guardians to enforce their views of what is right and wrong would be greeted with outrage. But when it's something that you agree with, then apparently blackmail and collateral damage is just fine and dandy.

      Would you be saying the same if this was a bunch or radical Christian hackers holding Amazon to ransom, threatening their customers, on the grounds that shopping on the Sabbath was wrong?

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Using words too lightly

        Just Enough,

        Quite. The self-righeousness on this thread is a bit sickening.

        You might not approve of adultery. I don't. But it's not unusual. Over a third of marriages break up in this country, and one of the biggest causes is people having affairs. Ordinary people, who manage to screw up their lives or the lives of those around them. Then have a terrible time for a few years. This isn't some exotic sub-group, I doubt there's many people here who don't have a close friend who's had an affair - and it happens for various complicated (and all too human reasons).

        This is painful enough for people to sort out, without some internet low-lifes sticking their oar in, and screwing things up even more.

        What an absolute fucking mess. It's a shame people don't look at security beforehand, when they're holding this kind of sensitive data.

        "latest among many companies to have been attacked, despite investing in the latest privacy and security technologies."

        Who's betting they're now frantically looking for the receipt for their copy of Norton Antivirus, so they can take it back to the shop for a refund...

        1. Turtle

          @ I ain't Spartacus Re: Using words too lightly

          "What an absolute fucking mess. It's a shame people don't look at security beforehand, when they're holding this kind of sensitive data.'

          I've looked at "internet security". Here's what I concluded: It doesn't exist.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "fucking mess"

          I think the first part is what the site users wanted.

          The second just comes in along with it because security was nor taken seriously from the start

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Using words too lightly

        "self-appointed moral guardians"

        Lying is considered bad to most of the people, regardless of the morals or even nationality. Also it's bad to kill or hurt other people. Another common concept.

        I see you disagree on the lying part, is killing OK too?

        You'll be quite alone in a society where lying on everything and everytime is a norm and not an exception.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          WTF?

          Re: Using words too lightly

          Lying is bad? Then why is social lying expected? You know little white lies? Other forms exist and are expected and accepted too. I can speak from vast experience that being constitutionally blind as to when I am expected to lie and when I am not causes a lot of friction, especially to those of "higher social status." On the other hand, women that know me like when I point out how nice they look, and why, since they know I'm not lying. Ever. Win some, lose lots. [I leave it to your imagination what happens when I was speaking to those of Flag-rank (Admirals, Generals) and knew that they were wrong.]

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not that surprised

    It's a site with victims. Some of them are hackers.

  7. Killing Time

    ‘The Impact Team claim its pwnage of ALM was motivated by an attempt to undermine "false claims" that users could purge their Ashley Madison membership info for a $19 fee.’

    The claimed motivation for the intrusion being because the inherently deceitful are being deceived strikes me as rather contrived.

    The Impact Team should fess up and admit their true drivers. I doubt it would make a difference to anybody’s opinion of their actions.

    I get and applaud the irony of it without the faux morality justifying it.

    1. Paul Woodhouse

      or its an ex-customer who's pissed at being blackmailed for $19 to be removed from the database....

      1. Lyndon Hills 1

        That struck me as well. They don't appear to be asking for anything other than 'shut the site down', so this looks a possible motivation.

  8. Nick Kew Bronze badge
    Pint

    Putting the boot in

    Is this an occasion to invoke the Duke of Wellington's immortal words when faced with a bit of blackmail over his sex life?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For those that have never seen the timeless classic monty python blackmail sketch (Reg lead picture) it can be found here:

    Blackmail

    The catchy tune is Johnny Hawksworth's "Swing-a-day" on DWLP 3116

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Doesn't the queen have a slightly similar problem at the moment with some videos of her playing in the garden....

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Windows

        Yeah, from 1933 .... when Hitler was no more repellent than any other machist leader (like Hillary Clinton for example), Roosevelt admired and tried to learn from Mussolini (hence, the "New Deal" - command econonomy, hurrah!) and Stalin was big everywhere crazies hoped for the proletarian revolution....

        1. The last doughnut

          ... oh please do go on

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          And what was Harry's excuse ?

        3. Triggerfish

          Worth noting the pledge of allegiance given in American schools in the thirties was the same Nazi style salute to the flag.

  10. Dabooka
    WTF?

    I'm intrigued....

    on how they hope to accomplish this aim;

    "working diligently and feverishly" to get the leaked data pulled offline.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm intrigued....

      That was my favourite bit of the article too. Canute.

  11. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Gimp

    "including users' sexual fantasies"

    Luckily it's not religious/political/management fantasies, or there would be trouble.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Unhappy

      Re: "including users' sexual fantasies"

      My management fansasies are of going to a meeting that only lasts 15 minutes, where everyone agrees on the objectives and helps each other to achieve them. Then has a nice drink afterwards - and fully cooperates as a team for the next 6 months. After which another 15 minute meeting is convened, if the project hasn't already been finished.

      OK. I admit it. I'm a pervert!

    2. Bernard M. Orwell

      Re: "including users' sexual fantasies"

      For some people, these are all the same thing.

      The more power they have, the more likely they fail to see the distinction.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They deserve each other

    So the slimeballs at Ashley Madison make you pay $19 to remove your profile, then don't actually remove it and then allow hackers in. I hope they get sued for every ill-gotten cent they have. And as to the hackers/blackmailers, words fail me. You have to be feeding very close to the bottom indeed when it isn't clear that you have the moral high-ground over AM.

    AC because my details might be in there, after one inebriated evening during which it soon became clear even in my drunken state that my short chat with someone had cost over £100.

    1. LucreLout Silver badge

      Re: They deserve each other

      So the slimeballs at Ashley Madison make you pay $19 to remove your profile, then don't actually remove it and then allow hackers in.

      It absolutely amazes me that a site which promotes casual sex hasn't learned anything about taking precautions:

      Encryption anyone? Data Segregation? Intrusion detection?

      This seems to have been the digital equivalent of barebacking anything that moves and assuming you'll be ok because you're on the pill.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: They deserve each other

      Trying to remember the last time someone said something to me I'd pay that much to hear. Drawing a blank....

    3. midcapwarrior

      Re: They deserve each other

      The hack may lead to a significant revenue increase. Expect and stampede to pay the fee to remove profiles.

      Of course one could always say one of the thousands of other hacks were used to get info to create a phony profile for you.

      Actually that's an interesting business model for them.

      Buy hacked information to create profiles than threaten to expose........ sorry that's would obviously be wrong.

      1. Turtle

        @midcapwarrior Re: They deserve each other

        "The hack may lead to a significant revenue increase. Expect and stampede to pay the fee to remove profiles."

        Those would be the *really* stupid people, who think that purging their profiles will somehow remove them from the data that was already exfiltrated into the hands of the hackers.

        But their money's good. And as we have all noted before, "idiots" are a vast and lucrative market.

    4. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: They deserve each other

      I doubt that customers will sue... Too much bad press on this one to be made fun of by friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc.

  13. Just.Aguy

    Will be interesting...

    Maybe I'll get some new fantasy ideas for us to try out.

    And of course, to see who ends up on the list.

    Of course, if they were smart, they'd get a flag and demand "Cheating is a Right" and go all stompy-feet.

    Recognition of their affairs as the first step in a polygamous relationship that they couldn't have because laws are unjust and everything. They can't help it...they are genetically disposed to having more than one spouse.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Will be interesting...

      They won't need to get a flag - Adultery was decriminalised in the UK over 150 years ago. (Although some US States still have it on the books, so maybe time for some quick moves across state lines if this database is released?)

      I don't have any proof but I'd reason that most people who have affairs are not looking to marry a 2nd person - they usually already have one marriage that they aren't too keen on.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's on the telly tonight love?

    Telly's broken....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What's on the telly tonight love?

      "Fine, I'll use the internet"

      "Internet's broken"...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What's on the telly tonight love?

        "Well, let's hope that the Hitachi Wand is still working".

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: What's on the telly tonight love?

      A friend of mine (hmmm, now there's a convincing way to start a story in this context...) had a bit of a car crash. At a classic car race, which is his hobby. He was then photographed grinning like a loon, next to his upside-down car.

      I guess the adrenaline was still flowing. As he ended up as a rather fetching full page picture in Autosport.

      One week later...

      "Darling, have you seen this week's copy of Autosport?"

      "Oh, sorry dear, it hasn't come." [quickly hides behind papers]

      "OK, I'll pick it up from the newsagents on my way back from the shops."

      "Erm. Oh. Erm. No don't do that dear. I'm afraid they erm haven't published it this week. Erm, they had a flood fire at the printing works you erm see."

      Ooops.

      Is this why racing drivers wear balaclavas?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Obligatory ...

    I'll bet that wasn't the kind of fucking those people had in mind when signing up ...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Whew close one

    I was terrified when I heard Ashley Madison got hacked and someone was threatening to release the client list.

    Then I realized it was Ashley Madison the place where married guys go to hook up and not Dolly Madison the bakery that makes zingers and other snack foods.

    Posted anonymously obviously

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Whew close one

      "where married guys go to hook up "

      And married women.....

  17. Originone

    Demands give something away?

    They want Ashley Madison and Established Men offline but no mention of Cougar Life?

    Must have a thing for the older ladies.

  18. NomNomNom

    it's like 9/11

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      69/11?

      (The post is required, and must contain letters)

  19. wolfetone Silver badge

    Question

    Is that Bruce Springsteen playing Piano?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tips for doing things like this when you don't want to get caught -

    1. Never use your real name/address

    2. Never use your own credit card (pre-paid Visa cards are there for a reason)

    3. Never use your real email address

    4. Never use your real phone (hello, pre-paid cell phone)

    5. Never keep the sim card in the pre-paid phone

    6. Only access the site from a non-persistent OS (hello, thumb drive Linux)

    7. Use a public wi-fi

    This is what I did when I used the above-named site to prevent detection (no, I don't really care what you think of me, nor am I going to explain myself) and it also secures your privacy in a hack-type scenario. Anonymous because, duh.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. asdf

      It takes all types I guess. Including those who allow divorce lawyers to make a good living. Might want to be careful admitting anything on a website where your login is unencrypted like El Reg. Would be surprised how enterprising those scum sucking lawyers can be lol. Also signal intel tends to lasts forever.

      1. Blank-Reg
        Black Helicopters

        Doubt they'll fire up MI6/NSA facilities to track some eejit whose a bit loose with their Willy/Bajingo...

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Entropay ;-)

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could the author of the article of the article clarify for us the phrase "37 million members" ?

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: anonymous

      "Could the author of the article of the article"

      That's easy for you to say.

      C.

  23. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    I doubt they'll see a revenue increase

    "The hack may lead to a significant revenue increase. Expect and stampede to pay the fee to remove profiles."

    A) The hackers presumably already have the data.

    B) Per the article, the $19 apparently pays for nothing, they take the $19 then don't do jack to actually remove the data. Which is apparently what went the hacker go ballistic to begin with?

    C) This is well past the point where I would expect them to remove information FOR FREE, if they want the SLIGHTEST chance of not having every single customer take them on for a nice big lawsuit. Don't get me wrong, they WILL be sued, but the $19 fee could be "the last straw" for some people (who may not have that much juicy info on there anyway), who would just remove their account to instead join a lawsuit.

    On a side note, I agree that the misuse of the word "terrorism" is a travesty (I don't think it was used in the article, but in the comments). Firstly, it minimizes true terrorist acts. Secondly, it's dangerous. The US and UK both have rather poorly written anti-terrorism laws... and the danger is by getting the public used to abusing the term "terrorism" for virtually any crime big or small, investigating speech some politician doesn't agree with, even (in the case of UK) not picking up your dog shit*, that these laws become quite overbearing and fascist when they can just be applied to all and sundry.

    *The dog case, I read it in the register several years ago... one of the UK's anti-terrorism laws was used to be able to DNA analyze these dog dukes, get samples from neighborhood dogs, and figure out the responsible party. I assume the dog and owner were then sent to some kind of British Gitmo for terrorism... no, actually, they were fined or whatever for not picking up after their dog. In this case the anti-terrorism law was abused to spend way more money solving this case then they would have been allowed to otherwise.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I doubt they'll see a revenue increase

      Terrorism was mentioned because Avid Life Media made a ludicrous statement equating the hack to cyber-terrorism and promising to hold the perpetrators responsible, like they were Obama about to rain down drone strike death on the hackers.

    2. Tuomas Hosia

      Re: I doubt they'll see a revenue increase

      "that these laws become quite overbearing and fascist when they can just be applied to all and sundry."

      You are missing the point of these laws: They exist solely for enforcing fascism: Everyone is a terrorist if the powers that be say so. And the laws are written to support that, on purpose.

      I find it correct then to label _literally anything_ as 'terrorism' as the laws make that kind of interpretetation not only possible, but totally legal and fitting into legal definition.

      It is not an accident or 'poor decision' that anything can and will be 'terrorism', by law.

      A point of view shared with some other commenters too. Unless they change the law, almost everything _is_ terrorism, by legal definition.

      Just because terrorism laws let the authorities do anything they want, legally, and the suspect has no rights at all. That's why these laws exist and that's why they are used every day.

      Fascist authorities wanted fascism written into law and they got it. Label is irrelevant at this point: Fascism is here as much as it was in Germany in early 30s.

  24. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Interesting footnote....

    Curiousity killed the cat but I thought I'd take a peek... My AV's promptly alerted me to the fact that these sites are "insecure" and "may contain malware".. and that was mildest warning. Gotta' love the internet... close the barn door late.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    don't ask, don't tell

    Websites, for their own self-interest, need to be much less interested in private user info. If Ashley Madison had relied on a 3rd party CC clearance mechanism and not stored CC info, then the hack would have had much less impact.

    Why ask for sensitive data that you don't absolutely need and you then need to defend? AM had a good business model going, if of questionable ethics. Now it all risks going tits up.

    Naive question, I know.

    eHarmony for one likes to abusively bill subscribers' CC at the drop of a hat, including forcibly re-enlisting you if you don't cancel 3 days before end of your current subscription and then not allowing cancellation. Funny from a site who was originally an all-Christian site and who until recently was all prudish about same-sex dating.

    On the user end, if you gotta do potentially really embarrassing stuff, learn not to do it in an easily bulk-traceable manner. That means normal CCs are out.

    p.s "terrorism"? Really? Pretty soon everyone's gonna be a terrorist when these losers and the Greek ex-finance dude are so busy flinging the word around.

  26. dmacleo

    krebs said it was an employee who did this if I read his reports right.

    how can you 100% protect from that....

    1. lucki bstard

      Internal auditing

      Correct security roles, etc

      All the dull stuff that IT managers don't wish to or are interested in doing.

      Same as Snowden tbh. Give enough people the keys to the castle and someone will walk off with it.

  27. Howard Hanek
    Flame

    Why Stop There?

    ....and written about by people who can't be trusted?

  28. x 7

    I joined them in the vain hope I might find a partner....even paid a few quid to be a "premium" member. I soon got pissed off when I found all the women who were mailing me were fakes, the accounts just set up by Ashley Madison to generate cash through "paid for" messages. When I challenged them they stated that mailings from fake profiles were allowed by their terms of service, but funnily enough they never did it again.

    Bunch of crooks

    1. Anonymous C0ward
      FAIL

      Cheat is buttmad he got cheated

      My heart bleeds.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      'Bunch of crooks' is being too nice

      Yep, it's in their T&C that they 'may' send automated messages for entertainment purposes and not at all to get people to cough up to read fake spam.

      I never paid - it was obvious that something fishy was up when an empty profile was getting

      messages. But If I could remember what email address I used, I'd be suing over this...

  29. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    The Impact Team?

    T.I.T. or GTFO

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm sorry but it's an obvious scam business. Set up multiple website offering the same thing, affairs, no strings, etc etc...

    Some people register, they take their profiles and propagate all the other websites and vice versa,

    Add in a poke function like fb, create algorithm to randomly poke new members who haven't paid for said service to initiate chat which is paid for.

    User pays for service, job done.

    Users now open to blackmail, extra job done. If you're stupid enough to fall for a scam then I'm sorry but I have little sympathy for you. I speak from the experience of others, everyone knows an idiot.

    1. x 7

      was that comment aimed at me? If so its ill-placed. I took a gamble, knowing it may be a scam, and it proved to be so. My fault, I've no-one to blame, but......I have a responsibility to confirm to others that the site is a con. I'm not interested in sympathy, but I am interested in seeing a bunch of crooks get their come-uppance.

      As to the hack, I've nothing to fear. The card expired within days of making the payment, and the fact like sex with younger women is hardly a surprise. The same will apply to most users

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    OPM

    '"Combine the data from [the US Office of Personnel Management] with that of AshleyMadison and I think we could be in for an interesting ride," noted independent infosec consultant Brian Honan."'

    Indeed, my first thought when I heard of this breach.

    Oh well, they only have my OPM information.

    1. Shugyosha
      Coat

      Re: OPM

      "we could be in for an interesting ride"

      Isn't that what users signed up for?

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    On the hackers' side here

    I think the users and owners of Ashley Madison have committed the worse offence.

  33. cantankerous swineherd Silver badge

    the snake pit gets deeper and more wriggly.

  34. Pete4000uk

    This data is none of our business. I'm sure some slimey paper will say its 'in the public interest' but that's just the crsp they spew.

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