Horrifying MOCK BACON ABOMINATION grown in BUBBLING VATS as ALGAE

There's disturbing and yet possibly uplifting news today on the science beat, depending how much you like eating bacon – and/or things grown in bubbling vats. That's because boffins in Oregon say they have managed to grow a kind of algae or seaweed in bubbling vats and that it is in every way as nice to eat as proper bacon …

[Anonymous Coward]

But then 'mericans don't know what real bacon is!

[Anonymous Coward]

My thoughts precisely.

"When you fry it, which I have done, it tastes like bacon, not seaweed. And it’s a pretty strong bacon flavour.”

Having inadvertently eaten what those poor 'merkins refer to as bacon, I'm experiencing a traumatic flashback to wafer thin shards of searingly salty leather fried until they're charred.

If that's what it resembles I'd rather eat the pan.

[Stevie]

Bah!

Bacon troll is late to the table. We went through this six months ago.

And no-one from a nation that invented Fortes Services at Newport Pagnel has any right to an opinion about food quality in other lands.

[Martin Summers]

Re: Bah!

"Bacon troll is late to the table. We went through this six months ago."

It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon, that your bacon is crap. It is not however known universally that the one service station you have singled out is crap (which it probably is). So which opinion shall we attach greater importance to then? I think our opinion matters quite a bit when it comes to bacon thanks!

[Shady]

Re: Bah!

Singling out an individual service station for being crap is akin to singling out an individual electron for supplying power to your telly.

[Kane]

Re: Bah!

"Singling out an individual service station for being crap is akin to singling out an individual electron for supplying power to your telly."

What, you mean this one?

[Roq D. Kasba]

Single electron

Genuine question - alternating current - isn't it literally the same few (hundred, thousand, zillion, whatever) electrons getting pushed and pulled through the transformer doing just that?

[The last doughnut]

Re: Single electron

One amp is a flow of 6.24x10^18 electrons per second - but they all move reeally slowly

[Pookietoo]

Re: Singling out an individual service station

Just don't disrespect Little Chef breakfasts. :-)

[chivo243]

Re: Bah!

Bacon bought at a "supermarket" is what is being talked about here. Try visiting the farmer who raises the succulent, wonderful pig, and you will find that the stuff marketed to the masses is indeed crap. The product he produces will be a completely different story. No comparison! You will never buy bacon at the supermarket again!

So, the uninformed and the can't be arsed to buy the good stuff can keep eating bacon from the supermarket...

Just call me Arnold...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Ziffel

[Rol]

Re: Bah!

Oh yes, agree entirely.

Any retailer who trumpets to the market, that they sell 8 slices of bacon for just pennies, is also telling you they have bought a nano slicer.

Why don't they just print pictures of bacon out on Izal toilet paper and get some cats to piss on it, as their customers wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

If you're buying your bacon from a supermarket, you obviously suffer from self loathing and a deeply maligned hatred of your family.

[Stevie]

It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon,

My bacon? I don't farm, butcher or sell the product, but I do know where to get it. Listening to English people rant about American bacon is often as risible an experience as listening to some CS grad reading chapter and verse about Cobol "not working" on the strength of his (it is almost always a "he") one three month course in it. If you want decent bacon you have to look for it in a proper venue.

And I simply pulled the most famous THF atrocity-in-eating out of my long-distance driving scarred memory, though I'd argue that a place that was so bad for so long it became an iconic metaphor for the industry is a right and proper example to use. Watford Gap was also a paragon of the inedible served by the unsociable. Indeed, I'll bet that when I lived in the UK I could drive the length of the M1 without finding a single edible meal. Since I drove the M1 twice a week between Coventry and London I usually packed sandwiches.

And I seem to remember British Rail getting into the act when a customer was served a hamburger so old and stale it was blue-green all the way through with mould. Kings Cross? Victoria? Can't remember the station. Would it be fair to use this as the yardstick for the British Hamburger? Actually, that's a lost cause too. So many visitors have experienced the unique British Boiled Hamburger as to taint the opinion pool in perpetuity.

Seriously, if you want a food fight you are in big trouble if you start it while standing in the UK. I've lived in both the UK and the USA for several decades and as far as the casual dining experience is concerned the UK lost the race on so many fronts before the new century turned it has about as much chance of regaining credibility as it has of re-asserting its territorial claims on Injah.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon,

Having lived in the UK, and moved to the US, both my Wife (Grew up in the US) and myself both agree the food is on the whole, far better in the UK than the US, especially produce.

We have also noticed that many Americans appear to have an unnerving ability to find crap food wherever they are in the UK, and having driven across the states, their service stations generally aren't much to shout about either.

[Robert Helpmann??]

Re: It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon,

We have also noticed that many Americans appear to have an unnerving ability to find crap food wherever they are in the UK, and having driven across the states, their service stations generally aren't much to shout about either.

There's both bad and good food to be had all over the world, it's just that some folks have unfortunate luck, bad aim or plain bad taste. You pick. However, I must ask why anyone would think that food bought at a service station was going to be all that good.

As far as finding good food while on the road in the States, there are review sites to help you out if you are planning to be traveling and there are probably mobile apps that try to do the same (I haven't looked, but there is always "an app for that"). There are TV and radio shows devoted to road trip dining. You ought to be able to find something tasty without too much fuss... or you can take my approach and just head to the first non-chain restaurant you happen to see when you start to get hungry. No-one in my family likes to hear the phrase "that looks interesting" when we are heading cross country.

[Michael Wojcik]

Re: It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon,

food is on the whole, far better in the UK than the US, especially produce

Your anecdotal, subjective evidence certainly is compelling, particularly since it's obviously true that food, especially produce, is identical everywhere across the 3.7 million square miles of the US, with tropical to arctic latitudes, sopping wet to hot and cold desert climates, coasts, forests, lakes, plains, and mountains. No doubt you have sampled the produce available in all fifty states, and carefully compared it with that sourced from various regions of the UK, to ensure you're not simply falling prey to simple fallacies of recollection.

Or maybe you're just an idiot as well as an anonymous coward?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon,

@Stevie: "Seriously"

And there's your problem.... :-)

[Michael Wojcik]

Re: Bah!

It is universally known by even people who have not had your bacon, that your bacon is crap.

A vast array of bacon types are available in the US, including English-style bacon, Canadian-style back bacon and peameal bacon, and pretty much anything anyone anywhere calls "bacon". What hoi polloi of Abominable Food Island refer to as "streaky bacon" comes in cuts ranging from tissue-thin to whopping thick slabs. And you can also get related pork products like pork belly and fresh side, which I've never seen in a UK supermarket.

Comments like the above just demonstrate the woeful culinary ignorance typical of the UK.

[John Bailey]

Re: Bah!

"And no-one from a nation that invented Fortes Services at Newport Pagnel has any right to an opinion about food quality in other lands."

And no-one from a nation that invented cheese in a squeezy tube has any call commenting about anything to do with the input side of the human digestive system ANYWHERE.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Bah!

I'm sorry to say as a brit but the bacon i had in an IHOP (International House Of Pancakes) was frankly, about the best bacon i have ever had. Not just in Florida but anywhere, ever.

Also the yanks dip it in chocolate, which is also outstanding. But then i like thin crispy bacon and i like chocolate. Win-Win...

[Bunbury]

Re: Bah!

Forte Group was a dreadful copy of American restaurant chains. Your fault.

[Anonymous Coward]

Let's just get along and say that there are cultural differences.

My (American) wife thinks standard British bacon is terrible. To her, if it's not streaky, it's just fat connected to bad ham.

I've already warned her away from gammon, which I always considered nasty stuff, and then

My wife does like Walkers bacon crisps though.

So what are the chances this stuff was the brainchild of a hungry algal biodiesel researcher?

[Mark 85]

Actually, a lot of us (but not a majority) do know and appreciate real bacon.

This, however, is an abomination of the highest order. I'm guessing that these boffins are vegetarians and wouldn't know a real pig if came up and bit them on their ass. Nor would they have a clue that real bacon is more than a "flavor". Much akin to the guys/gals who developed "bacon bits in a jar" which doesn't involve any pigs or other animals at all.

[chivo243]

"which doesn't involve any pigs or other animals at all."

Country Time Lemonade anyone? Nothing resembling a lemon ever got near the production of that crap...

[Kubla Cant]

Does it taste naturally of bacon, or do they add bacon flavour? If the latter, is it the flavour of good bacon or nasty bacon? And do they use bacon because it's the only flavour strong enough to disguise the native flavour of the algae?

Most important of all, does it fry without exuding white slime, unlike 90% of supermarket bacon?

[tony72]

"Most important of all, does it fry without exuding white slime, unlike 90% of supermarket bacon?"

Good question. That white crap is caused by the added water in the bacon to bulk it up cooking out, and it seems like all of the substantial number of different kinds of bacon in Tesco has added water, whether cheap or expensive. Seems like you have to go to a butcher to get bacon that hasn't had water added.

It sounds from the article like the bacon flavour is natural, but I wonder about the smell; the best thing about bacon is the aroma, that's what gets the taste buds tingling in anticipation. So if this stuff tastes like bacon, but doesn't smell like it, it will be a hard sell for me.

[Semaj]

White Slime

Try Aldi instead - no shrinkage at all when you cook their meat, no white slime and it's really tasty. Actually often a bit too tasty for me having been raised on processed crap.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Natural" flavour?

It sounds from the article like the bacon flavour is natural

Hmm. This is getting tricky. If the idea is to NOT fry bacon, how does one get natural fried bacon flavour? I don't have enough caffeine in my blood to work that one out..

[Andy Tunnah]

Go for Waitrose bacon, or if you're in the north, Booths. It's the same price as decent bacon (about 3 quid a pack) and the quality is way way better than anywhere else, apart from Sainsbury's TTD, which while nice is just that bit too expensive.

The best bacon I ever had was from Bury Market, it was treacle infused bacon available around Halloween. Absolutely gorgeous when fried in a little butter. They have to limit it's release though due to the chance of murdering you if consumed all year round.

[wowfood]

Butcher local to me sells real bacon, with the rind still intact. In my foolhardry state of mind I decided to grill it as I would normal bacon.

I was suddenly aware that this was a mistake with the loud cracking noise like an overloaded extension cable, followed by a billow of smoke also like an overloaded extension cable.

Yes, in my time of madness, I forgot that the rind cooks very quickly and very crispy. Fortunately I was able to save the bacon before it reached american levels of cooked. But I also learnt to be more careful when cooking real bacon as opposed to the rindless, water filled wastes the supermarkets tell you is bacon.

[Triggerfish]

Having come from London but now living in the countryside, there are places round me you can actually go name your bacon and watch it running around until its old enough to become breakfast, they do the same with lambs, cattle and the Chrimbo turkey. Sometimes I feel a little bad about this, but then someone passes me the ketchup or mint sauce.

[Anonymous Coward]

Upvoting this, but really surprised the veggies and animal huggers havent given it a historical level of downvotes.

[Triggerfish]

To be fair none of the veggies I know mind the rest of us being omnivores, as far as they are concerned what you eat is your own business. Whenever they have come round and I have cooked a Sunday roast for all their happy to have just the veg as long as its cooked seperate from any meat juice (roast spuds for example).

They aren't overly impressed by some of the animal treatment for cheap meat like factory chickens, but then again neither am I.

[John Brown (no body)]

" I decided to grill it as I would normal bacon."

For any USAains getting confused or imagining a possibly incorrect scenario, "grilling" in the UK involves placing the bacon goodliness on a grill pan with a raised wire mesh (to let the fat drip away in an attempt to call bacon "healthy") and the heat is applied from above, either electric elements of a gas flame heating a mesh, maybe 2" above the delicious bacon, hence the hazards of spitting fat instantly reaching combustible temperature. I believe you call this a broiler (which confused me for many years with it's similarity to boiler). What you call grilling, we call frying. Except when it's a BBQ, which we also don't call grilling.

That ends this Public Service Announcement.

[Kubla Cant]

all of the substantial number of different kinds of bacon in Tesco has added water

It goes against the grain to praise Tesco, but at the moment I'm buying their Finest dry-cured bacon, and it's completely slime-free. It's annoying how often allegedly dry-cure bacon is full of water (notably Waitrose own brand). Presumably they pump the water in before or after the dry-curing process, or maybe they make the pigs drink a lot.

[moonrakin]

argh!!!

some time back the Danes were feeding their porkers on fish paste / rendered marine slop - recall olfactory double take while grilling breakfast - hmmmm .... thought I got pig and not herring out of the freezer.

I'm sure this concoction / culinary masterpiece is just wunnerful but can probably wait indefinitely to verify that .....

[dc_m]

reminds me of a chicken once from Sainsburys that tasted like fish.

Just wrong

[Dwarf]

Thanks but no

I'll stick with dead pig.

I bet it doeen't even have the option to be all fatty or cooked to a crisp either

Importantly, can it cure hangovers?

icon = beer - because of the previous point.

[hatti]

Coincidence

But is the aforementioned "succulent red marine algae" not a byproduct of the discharge from Mr. Porkys pig processing plant upstream which may reconcile the flavour coincidence?

[Anonymous Coward]

All of a sudden I'm against GM foods. This is a step too far.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm not seeing anything to indicate it is GM. The linked article says it is a "strain" which sounds more like it was the product of selective breeding, which everything humans eat - including what you grow in your garden - is.

[Bucky 2]

"Selective Breeding"

...is still genetic modification in the only real way that term makes any sense.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: "Selective Breeding"

So no bananas or potatoes then?

[John Brown (no body)]

"I'm not seeing anything to indicate it is GM. The linked article says it is a "strain" which sounds more like it was the product of selective breeding"

The article also says it patented which implies some sort of manipulation, but we all know the strange vagueuries if the USPO :-)

[Pen-y-gors]

Grimbledon Down?

Nu-Food?

I think not...

[Primus Secundus Tertius]

Re: Grimbledon Down?

You beat me to that comment.

Let me add that the local tramp/vagrant at GD did describe Nu-Meths as "OK if you are not particular", but could not abide Nu-Food.

[Unep Eurobats]

I'd eat some

But now they've made the bacon association there's lots of people who won't.

[Triggerfish]

Re: I'd eat some

I dunno the smell of frying bacon is usually the one smell that a lot of veggies drool over. Could be a good market.

[Alien Doctor 1.1]

Re: I'd eat some

If it's better than Quorn 'bacon' - either the frozen or chilled - then I will be first in the queue to try it.

[Andy Tunnah]

Re: I'd eat some

Strips of dried tarmac are better than Quorn bacon

[Anonymous Coward]

I would eat it.

I expect like the other equivalents it will be cheaper than decent meat. Cheap meat or fake meat is hardly a choice you need to make.

[Ilmarinen]

Soylent Pink ?

every part of the bubbling abomination is used, except for the gurgle.

(mine's the one with the packet of "Porkoid Itchings" in the pocket)

[hatti]

Re: Soylent Pink ?

Well played, have an upvote for Porkoid Itchings

[Khaptain]

Great news

If we can use sea-weed to create food then we can triple, quadruple or quintuple the number of people on the planet. Now isn't everyone looking forward to that.

</sarcasm>

[Julz]

Re: Great news

We already eat seaweed.

[Chris G]

Re: Great news

Yeah, in the West Country and Wales they eat Lava Bread (pronounced layva) it makes boiled to death week old liquified splnach tasty by comparison.

Personally I like my Bacon to have actually been part of a real pig!

Beaten to the punch for Soylent pink, not a bad idea to feed the vats with surplus protein from the population but will Vegans eat it then?

[Phuq Witt]

Re: Great news

"...in the West Country and Wales they eat Lava Bread..."

Prefer a bag of dulse myself.

Back on topic:

Being a carnivore with a sense of guilt, but lacking the willpower to turn vegetarian, I'm all for these synthi-meat experiments. It's just a shame that none of them come anywhere near the taste of real dead animals. Quorn is probably the best of a bad bunch. Sometimes when the missus uses it in a suitably spicy chilli, it does take a few forkfuls before I can tell it's not real flesh.

[The absence of mysterious 'pipes' and bits of hoof and beak is usually the dead giveaway]

[WonkoTheSane]

Re: Great news

This stuff IS dulse!

[Trollslayer]

Re: Great news

Make it with vegans, problem(s) solved.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Great news

Jesus! I read that as..

Make it with vaginas, problem(s) solved.

...and think I may have permanently damaged my psyche.

[Triggerfish]

Re: Great news @ AC

Surely that would be hanger beef.

[Alfred]

Re: Great news

We could do, but why would we? Right now, the human population is not food-limited and peak child has already been reached. What's so special about this new food that means people will suddenly decide to have a lot more children?

[Arthur the cat]

The horror, the horror

I think CAMR(e)B needs to be set up before it's too late.

WTF is it with some veggies? If you don't want to eat meat, don't eat meat and accept the consequences. It's not like vegetarian food is tasteless if you know how to cook - I'm a total omnivore (snake, anyone?) but can easily cook stuff my veggie friends love. (Don't get me started on vegans though).

If you want to eat something that tastes like bacon, eat *bacon*, not some godawful ersatz crap.

[Seanmon]

Re: The horror, the horror

Hang on - where did you get snake?

[Arthur the cat]

Re: The horror, the horror

"Hang on - where did you get snake?"

Ate it in China, most organics are considered foodstuffs there. :-)

Back when I worked in academia, the Prof in charge of my research group spent time in China as a guest of the government. One meal he had was a duck banquet, which is great, except it was thirteen courses, starting with the head, going via various internal organs, most of which don't get eaten here, and ending with the final course of two duck's feet sitting on a plate, and he was a very picky eater who couldn't use chopsticks very well.

[John H Woods]

Re: The horror, the horror

"Ate it in China, most organics are considered foodstuffs there." -- Arthur the cat

""If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." -- HRH Prince Philip the Duke of Edinburgh (at a WWF meeting in 1986)

[Elmer Phud]

Re: The horror, the horror

(Don't get me started on vegans though).

Quite right, they are before the cheese course.

[Triggerfish]

Re: The horror, the horror

"Ate it in China, most organics are considered foodstuffs there." -- Arthur the cat

Chicken tendons deep fried and battered, never again.

[Ilmarinen]

Re: The horror, the horror

"Ate it in China, most organics are considered foodstuffs there." -- Arthur the cat

In 3 trips I liked just about everything except "this is sea creature"

No idea which sea creature, but not a very nice one (IMHO anyway)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The horror, the horror

Eh? That's a bit like saying that rather than watching murder mysteries, if you like that sort of thing, that you shoudl instead go out and murder people. I don't get why some people have it in for arificial flavours. I like strawberries and raspberries, and I;ve had strawberry cecream made from cream and strawberries (I made it myself) - superb! But I'm also perfectly happy with the artificial flavoured stuff that one tends to find on sale in the local corner shop. Criticising vegetarians for liking artificial bacon flavour is just.. strange.. :-}

[Winkypop]

Algal Bacon

What's it taste like?

Chicken.

Seriously, yes, I'm all for it.

[Richard 81]

It may taste bacon-like, but what about the texture?

[Stevie]

Bah!

But how will we fill the Great Pigshirt Lakes of North Carolina if we switch to vegicon?

[thomas k]

Re: "... twice the nutritional value of kale".

Mmmm, kale.

[45RPM]

Would it count towards my five a day? Because, if it would, put me down for a synthibacon and bacon sandwich.

[I ain't Spartacus]

Mmmm. I'll have the same double-bacon sandwich. But I'll be extra healthy, by having a synth-bacon smoothie please. And if it tastes equally bacon-y uncooked, I'll also have a side of bacon salad. With baconaise obviously.

[ArgBlarg]

Soylent Green

Is it green and served in disks?

[Pascal Monett]

Well, the guys going to Mars need SOMETHING to keep their morale up

Raising a pig on a spaceship is well nigh impossible, I'd wager. Having a bubbling vat of bacon-kehl producing 30/50/100 pounds a month will be a real lifesaver in the depths of space.

Of course, in space, no one can hear you fry.

[Cassini]

Snake

You can get exotic meats (like snake) from http://www.exoticmeats.co.uk/.

I've got some, but haven't tried it yet. Please don't tell me it tastes like chicken.

[wowfood]

Re: Snake

No don't eat snake! Seriously, the amount of mice you need to feed to a snake before it reaches a suitable size for eating, you might as well eat the mice.

I'm honestly surprised that hasn't become an option tbh, the rate at which the breed, and the cheapness of their care and feed you could probably feed a fair chunk of the population. Although now all I can think of is the rat burger from Demolition Man.

Then again there's also the university people who were working on cricket burgers, originally the started with mealworms, but realised the chitin to protein ratio was terrible (any herp / rep keeper could have told them that without wasting months of time)

Then again, the smell that crickets give off would probably put me off eating them a bit.

[Michael Wojcik]

Re: Snake

you might as well eat the mice

Reminds me of the 1983 film Never Cry Wolf, in which a zoologist tries to prove the local wolf packs can subsist mostly on mice by eating them (the mice) himself. As I recall, it's a cute little nature film for those who like that sort of thing; children of a certain age in particular will be pleased by the mouse-cookery, as well as the nature shots and wolf-fuzzies.

It didn't make me want to eat mice, but I believe it's a viable option if necessary. I'd be nervous about toxin accumulation in them, though - probably go for farm-raised¹ rather than wild.

¹"Got 57 million head of mice out on the north pasture now. Branding 'em was the worst part."

[Arthur the cat]

Re: Snake

"I've got some, but haven't tried it yet. Please don't tell me it tastes like chicken."

Tasting far more like chicken than proper free range, hand reared chicken would be a better description. I don't know what species I was eating though.

Thinking of things that taste more like X than X does, and returning to the subject of bacon, a few years back I had to munch antibiotics for a month to deal with a chest infection. Unfortunately they totally screwed up my sense of smell and taste so most food and drink tasted bloody awful. Even booze tasted pretty horrid. Wine tasted normal at first sip but then had a long (very long) aftertaste of burnt rubber and diesel fuel. Beer was undrinkable, not even badly kept Watney's Red Barrel standard for those who remember that abomination. I was losing weight fast. Then I had a bacon sandwich. Bliss. The only food that tasted better than it normally does. I lived on bacon sarnies for a month *and I had an excuse*.

[Kubla Cant]

Re: Snake

This farm shop sells frozen "exotics" in its butchers. I'm pretty sure I've seen snake and alligator, but I haven't tried either. Although they do keep Nile crocodiles on the farm, and the nearby Raptor Centre has pythons, I don't know if all or any of the exotic meat is home-raised.

[Yugguy]

I'd give it a go

Shredded curly kale fried til crispy with a bit of garlic is actually quite nice.

[Chris G]

Hmm, snake

I remember walking around Safeways in Grass Valley N Cal looking for interesting Ameri an food, next to thr tins of corned beef was rattle snake in a tin about the size of a can of tuna in the UK.

I bouvht some and it did taste chickeny..Definitely tasted better than the wild turkey I shot in my girlfriends back garden which was mostly stringy and probably rejected by th Founding Fathers a couple of centuries before.

[Six_Degrees]

No.

Just no.

[Lars]

Damn it

But I have to ask. A pig is a pig, so what is it with this bacon, cut from a different part, or is it about thinner or thicker slices or what. Or is it about color and colour or what.

As for seaweed the movie it's a mad mad world comes to my mind. I was "married" to that lady.

[Mark 85]

Re: Damn it

American bacon is from the belly.. thus the market in pork bellies. It's stripy with lean and fat. British bacon is from the loin. There's other differences....

Here's some places for your enjoyment:

American bacon

British bacon

[Richard Altmann]

Does not

contain nuts or bacon

[ecofeco]

Works for me

Modern pig farming is an abomination and nothing short of biological toxic superfund sites. Time to end it.

[Anonymous Coward]

In the spirit of Lurkey

May I be the first to christen this product Lurcon.

How fast can we get it shipped up to the ISS, so it can become a real space food??

[Anonymous Coward]

I've been keeping an interested eye on fake bacons (and fake cheeses) for years, partly because I have vegetarian leanings (I'm fine with eating meat, so long as the animals are treated well and not raised in what are, effetively, apalling concentration camps) and partly because I suspect that the way things are going demand for meat will far outstrip any sensible ability to produce the stuff unless the attempts to grow beef or pig muscle in vitrio succeed well enough; in which case, prices will escalate to a point where meat becomes only anoccasional treat.

I have to say that I've come across two fake bacons that weren't bad - not quite the full dead-pig hit, but in a sandwich with cheese still perfectly acceptable IMO. And there's one fake cheese which is unfortunately advertised as a fake cheddar which IMO is a shame as whilst it isn't much like cheddar, it's a rather wonderful cheese in its own right. Bit pricey, but then it's not made in huge quantities, yet.

If I manage to get my hands on some of this dulse stuff, I'll give it a go and report back.

[strum]

At last!

Kosher bacon!

[Mr Dogshit]

Yes but

is it halal?