I'm sorry, but...
... unless you are in a very narrow band of places, isn't having an industry certification, particularly one from Microsoft, proof that you are a failure?
I mean you either understand the basic principles behind a certain technology in order to build up from that to any product in the field in short time, or you specifically do the least amount of work by studying exam question for version Y of product X. Few people take such exams when they already know what they are doing.