Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Uitsmijter

We're obliged to readers who answered our recent call for post-pub nosh neckfiller suggestions, and rest assured we now have a extensive menu planned for the coming months, based on your input. One comment which caught our eye came from "dan1980", who pitched the "cheese and tomato sandwich", daringly proposing: "Add ham or …

[Nigel Whitfield.]

I think it's only fair to point out that the Dutch do have a couple of other splendid contributions to cuisine, some of which I have myself sampled after staggering out of Amsterdam hostelries at some ungodly hour.

First, the combination of chips and satay sauce, which I've not found anywhere else, is actually far less icky than it sounds (subject, of course, to the quality of the satay sauce).

Second, the Kaassoufflé from FEBO. For those unfamiliar with both, though the shape is different, the taste is remarkably similar to a Findus Crispy Pancake with cheese. FEBO is a place that has automats - just pop your coins in the slot, pull down the little glass door, and take your Kaaassoufflé.

Surely, one has to admire a society that has reached such a pinnacle of civilisation that you can, in effect, obtain a hot Findus Crispy Pancake from a vending machine in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous Coward]

It is not

possible to up vote you enough times for this, especially from "manikin pisse"?? on Damrak..Just across the road from Cenrtaal station.. Little chip place, serves chips with a variety of sauces. Of which the satay is the best.

I thought I was odd enjoying chips and peanut sauce but it seems no...

[Jeff Lewis]

Not to mention pannekoek, and lords yes - anything from Febo! Their croquettes are amazing. When I was visiting Amsterdam, I kept finding myself going long distances just to find a Febo. :)

[chivo243]

Uitsmijter is lekker!

Having lived in NL, I have had the uitsmijter and it is good, swap out the white bread and use any sliced meat you like, ham is the default.

Psst... tomatoes are a fruit.

This is definitely a home cooking job as most of the shops that sell the uitsmijter are closed when the pubs close. It's all kapsalon, turkse pizza, doner kebap and gyros at that our.

eet smakelijk!

[Steve Aubrey]

Knowledge and wisdom

Knowledge is understanding that tomatoes are a fruit.

Wisdom is not including them in a fruit salad.

[Vincent Ballard]

Re: Knowledge and wisdom

Advanced knowledge is understanding that they actually go well with avocado, mango, melon, pineapple, raspberries, strawberries, honey, citrus, cream, yoghurt, almonds, and hazelnuts. (Source: The Flavor Bible). Pick a suitable subset and you can make a nice fruit salad with tomato.

[BongoJoe]

Re: Uitsmijter is lekker!

This is definitely a home cooking job as most of the shops that sell the uitsmijter are closed when the pubs close

Which is why living in Belgium was preferable. There's always something open somewhere.

One cafe I used to go to in the early hours was last closed during the Occupation. Even now if they have to decorate the place they move the detritus (that's a posh word for the likes of you and I at four in the morning) to the other side of the bar.

Belgium is much derided by its detractors but it's got its priorities sorted out.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Uitsmijter is lekker!

The syntax is indeed uitsmIJter, without the E before the IJ.

[Robert Helpmann??]

Why No Fry?

I note with some trepidation that only the eggs get to see the inside of a frying pan. There's something dreadfully wrong with this! Please put it back in the skillet and cook until done. And get rid of the tomatoes.

[BobRocket]

Northern refinement

Looks great but how do you pick it up ?

I suggest that you get two of these and put the second one (upside down) on top of the other. grab with both hands (to keep it all together) and scoff it.

Should be served with either more beer or a big mug of tea (or both)

A even more Northern refinement would be to dip the whole thing in batter and deep fry the bugger but I wouldn't recommend playing with the DFF post pub.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Northern refinement

Looks great but how do you pick it up ?

Weird, I have been up North, and I'm positive I've seen knives and forks there :)

Small caveat: there is a debate about white bread vs. brown bread as a basis. Personally I have abandoned white bread years ago and can only be found consuming it in the form of a bun wrapped around a hamburger or hotdog.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Northern refinement

"Weird, I have been up North, and I'm positive I've seen knives and forks there :)"

You're right. We do. It was my turn to have them last week. I'm still too sure what the one with the four pointy bits is for.

[x 7]

Re: Northern refinement

the first forks were introduced to England in 1608 by Thomas Coryate, but they didn't catch on as they were considered a bit gay.....it was only when Charles I said they were OK (well, he would wouldn't he) that they were accepted. Still didn't catch on with the populace outside court for a long time. Didn't catch on in the USA till the 20th century (where the fashion was to use cheap wooden spoons) which explains why yanks to this day cut their food and then transfer the fork to the right hand and use it as a spoon....their country never came to terms with the dexterity required to eat two-handed

Coryate was interesting chap.....he also brought (and named) the umbrella to the UK, went on a couple of amazing walks, first to Venice, then to India.......and had a rather confrontational way of treating muslims. His first book also hold the record of the longest title in the English language, even now

He'd be an excellent candidate for a historical drama-documentary TV series on the lines of "Hornblower"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Coryat

[BongoJoe]

Re: Northern refinement

It's for fending off the whippet whilst tucking into the lard doorstop sarnie.

Any proper Northerner would tell you that.

[x 7]

Re: Northern refinement

"tucking into the lard...."

Its a pity that in this font the f and t look very similar at first glance.....I got the impression you were considering a cheap knock-off Marlon Brando impersonation.

What was the name of that bird with the butter?

[BongoJoe]

Re: Northern refinement

Stork?

(see icon)

[Jedit]

"I'm still too sure what the one with the four pointy bits is for."

Stabbing Southrons when they exhibit contempt for the North.

[Cameron Colley]

Re: Northern refinement

Ah, but travel further North and they don't put tops on sandwiches either.

[Frederic Bloggs]

No tomatoes. The only vegetation that should be present is gherkins. A lack of gherkins is a serious omission.

The Dutch are expert piss artists. They provide many neck fillers for post pissup consumption. FEBO will provide the usual ones like: croquette and bitter ballen but the crucial thing missing is that eating these things should be done during the drinking process, not just after. Then there are a range of comestibles for eating before drinking (like haring sla) which are designed to coat the stomach - to allow one to drink even more kopstoters (a beer with jenever chaser).

[Grikath]

The uitsmijter in its basic variety: 3 white bread slices, one with cheese ( gouda or edam) , one with ham, one with rosbief ( sliced roast beef) , three eggs on top. Any green/vitaminy stuff is a sidedish and should never, ever be used as a topping...

There are many interpretations possible from this basic recipe. The most common varieties are (extra) cheese, usually melted on top. Spek (dutch variety of bacon) in many variaties depending on area, grilled or not instead of the rosbief. Rye/dark bread for (to) taste in case you want the fibery stuff.

To the Barbarians here: an uitsmijter is never stacked, it's a treasonous offense to do so and will get you foul looks/immedeately pegged as a dumbforeigner. You eat it with knife and fork, however messy it may turn out to be.

Given that it's originally a farmers' breakfast dish, ordering it in the morning or during lunch works quite well, and with the proper hung-over look tends to have anyone around you treat you with a proper amount of caution. In a sense it's the dutch variety of a full english, and soaks up the post-party malaise quite well.

[chivo243]

"however messy it may turn out to be"

Eating it with a fork and knife works well. It keeps the mess on the plate and not on your hands especially when the bacon has been grilled.

[et tu, brute?]

Gouda or Edam...

Or a good Belegen Boerenkaas if you want it to have some nice hearty taste...

With the rest of your post I agree completely! ;)

[Colin Ritchie]

Happy days.

I lived in Holland for 3 years and loved the uitsmijter from day one. The uitsmijter was traditionally a dish served at the end of an all night party, when the host wanted everyone to go home. Uitsmijter means a chucker outer brekkie.

I ate them as a hangover cure and most hotels, hostels and cafes would happily serve them till 3pm in the afternoon. God bless the uitsmijter!

[x 7]

Re: Happy days.

hangover cure at 3pm?

no staying power these Dutch

or was that after an all-night and all-morning bender?

[Nigel Whitfield.]

Re: Happy days.

I've had many an all night bender in Amsterdam

[Warm Braw]

Re: Happy days.

>I've had many an all night bender in Amsterdam

I was going to buzz for deviation, but I really don't want you to explain how they count as post-pub "neckfillers"...

[Anonymous Coward]

The real true basic uitsmijter is one slice of bread with one fried egg on top of it, salt and pepper to taste . With pickled onions and sweet and sour pickles as a preferred side dish, ham is almost allways under the egg, while cheese is something that came popular after people got to know the cheeseburger at McDonalds. Also the precise basic recipe is dependent on geographical location. uhm regional I mean, or something like that.

[Turtle]

We *Could* Be Done By Now.

"It's a fair point that some of our wobbly dining delicacies do require a bit of dedication, but if we restricted ourselves solely to grub suitable for preparation by the truly incapacitated, we'd be done after a swift bacon sarnie..."

And the problem with that would be...?

[Sacioz]

Eggs

Two raw eggs , in about 250mils of Glenlivet and bob's our uncle .

[x 7]

the problem is with the cheese. Gouda, like most dutch cheeses is a rubbery tasteless synthetic chemical impression of a cheese. Much better if this is made with a tasty Lancashire or real Cheddar.

As to those dutch dispensing cabinet pastys.......one of the happiest days of my live was after a month working in Bombay. Flew back to Britain via Amsterdam on Delta (codeshare with KLM)

The trollydolly after takeoff asked if I wanted anything - the answer "A McDonalds.....please..."

She said "I can't do that, but leave it with me"

Ten minutes later she reappeared with a plate of those late night pasties, all for me. She clearly recognised a man in distress after a month long diet of curry, Indian lager and malaria pills. I did the decent thing and offered to marry her on the spot, but she declined. Probably realised I was emotionally disturbed.

The pasties weren't in place of the normal food serving, they were extra just for me. Whoever she was, I still think tenderly of her.

[Frederic Bloggs]

If you are talking about the stuff called Gouda that they send over to the UK for sale in supermarkets then you are absolutely, if distressingly, correct. However, a decent matured Gouda (particularly a farm produced one) is a completely difference animal. It has taste, bite and is only very slightly rubbery. It also melts very satisfactorily when toasted on bread and, perhaps draped over some previously grilled bacon, chopped tomatoes and with a generous amount of Worcestershire Sauce, makes a very satisfactory post pissup neck filler itself.

[imanidiot]

I would put forward that if you find dutch cheese rubbery, tasteless, synthetic or chemical you've never had a proper Dutch cheese. (And I do mean the REAL dutch stuff and not what is typically sold in foreign supermarkets as "dutch", Edam or Gouda. (Which in fact have as much to do with the Netherlands as alpine meadows.

Also keep in mind that Gouda typically comes in a large variety of different types depending on age and flavour. The most typical being (shamelessly ripped from the Dutch Wiki article on cheese:)

Name aging/ripening time

Jonge kaas 4 weeks (Young)

Jong belegen 8 - 10 weeks (Young Matured)

Belegen 16 - 18 weeks (matured)

Extra belegen 7-8 months (extra matured)

Oude kaas 10-12 months (Old)

Overjarige kaas 12 months or more (Over-year)

Personally I like anything past extra belegen, which gives a much firmer slightly crumbly cheese with a bit more flavour to it. Over-yeared cheese is crumbly and hard with a strong salty flavour.

Young cheese is usually what is sold in the rest of the world as Gouda cheese (or sometimes even Edam, which is an entirely different kind of cheese) And yes, that is mostly flavourless and rubbery.

[x 7]

"I would put forward that if you find dutch cheese rubbery, tasteless, synthetic or chemical you've never had a proper Dutch cheese."

Unfortunately probably true. All I've experienced have been the exported processed products sold in the UK as Dutch cheese, and similar stuff sold in Dutch hotels for breakfast - equally unpalatable.

Part of the problem is post WWII Holland went down a similar route as the UK did with mass-produced anaemic cheddar, but arguably more extremely in that while cheddar is still cheese, much Dutch "cheese" is a processed blend of dried whey, milk powder, emulsifiers and oils, a real chemists delight.

Real cheese survived in small production in the UK, and is now resurgent. I guess the same must be true in Holland, but I've never had the chance to experience it

But...I stand with my original point, Edam and Gouda are (unless there are real farmhouse versions) tasteless rubbery horrors. I'd be pleased to be proved wrong

edit

I see you've extended your original post. Good to see "real" cheese exists there.

Are there any Dutch equivalents to our "Blue" cheeses?

[imanidiot]

Not AFAIK. The Dutch cheeses all seem to be of the harder variety that can be stored for long times without spoiling (it just matures more the longer it's on the shelf if conditions are kept right)

I also think that within the Netherlands the traditional cheese production has never really gone away within the country itself. It's just that a lot of larger corporations saw fit to start marketing the young, rubbery, tasteless Gouda across the world and somehow it seems to have gotten popular enough to define peoples definition of Gouda cheese. I think lots of hotels (even in the Netherlands) put out the almost flavourless stuff because this is what people expect now and if they ever DO put out the real stuff people might get offended by it having (ohh horror) flavour.

The same sort of problem exist for a lot of cheeses. Take french Brie for instance. Most people also think this is a pretty flavourless, white, pasty/rubbery cheese. The original is however quite tasteful and should be just a tiny bit runny when ripe. But people tend to buy the cheap stuff, not let it ripen and serve it chilled to the bone. The absolute worst way to serve it.

[Peter Kavanagh.]

Search out Old Amsterdam - I've found it in a few good UK farmshops and cheese shops - it's Oude Kaas as mentioned above, about a year old. Heavenly...

[harmjschoonhoven]

Re: Heavenly...

Old Amsterdam is artificially ripened. If you want to taste Oude Kaas, try

Stompetoren Grand Cru.

[mikeyZ]

As i'm dutch (inhabitant of the Netherlands, we call ourselves more apprpriately Nederlanders); what is sold outside of the Netherlands, is a rubbery tasteless synthetic impression of a Cheese made in a local factory (Otten also labeled as made in Spain, brittain of whatsoever). Dutch Gouda is a real naturally produced and matured product.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Much better if this is made with a tasty Lancashire or real Cheddar."

Have you tried 'cheddar' abroad? My local supermarket sells genuine scottish(!) 'Cheddar'. Since it's packed in this country, it is presumably brought over from scotland in forty-tonne lumps that just fit on a truck. Flavour wise I suspect you'd need a spectrometer to distinguish it from the 'Gouda' they've been selling you.

I love the Dutch snack bars where you are confronted with an entire term's worth of solid geometry for your artery-clogging pleasure. Cylinders, pyramids, spheres, cubes - for some reason it's just more appealing than the brit equivalent...

[emmanuel goldstein]

lekker!

[John H Woods]

Can I suggest ...

A nice quiche, b̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ prepared beforehand and blasted in the microwave (or not) when required. I've always been told that "Real Men don't eat quiche" but since it's basically bacon & egg pie I find this somewhat confusing.

[Daniel von Asmuth]

¿Hablas Castellano?

What is jamon serrano doing in a Dutch recipe? NL.wikipedia.org says the ingredients are one or two slices of bread with ham or cheese and at least two baked eggs. No mention of tomatoes, but bacon is sometimes used. The German Wikipedia shows a variety where the cheese is baked with the eggs. The name 'Strammer Max' supposedly refers to the erect male organ.

[Vincent Ballard]

Re: ¿Hablas Castellano?

It may be slightly fusion, but fusing Dutch and Spanish cuisine is actually quite reasonable given the historical links between the two countries. There's a reason that the Dutch St Nick comes from Spain every year.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: ¿Hablas Castellano?

given the historical links between the two countries

As in the various wars between them? :)

[imanidiot]

For DURING the drinking

I'll reiterate my suggestion from the previous thread of the Dutch Bitterbal. There is no better snack food for while you are on the booze.

[PhilipN]

Oh please!

Cheese and BEETROOT not tomato.

The cheese should be solid blocks of cheddar/mousetrap.

Beetroot chopped in clumps from a whole one but the sliced variety from a jar or a tin is ok but only because it's better than no beetroot. The vinegar may even help to avoid serious indigestion from swallowing the cheese after the merest hint of an introduction to the effects of mastication. :)

And the longer the cheese has been (unwrapped) in the fridge - measured in months - the better. By today's standards some months past the Sell-by Date. Sheesh when I were a wee lad there was no such thing as sell-by dates. Today's yoof need them? Really? (Shakes head in mock sympathy)

[Anonymous Coward]

I really hate the word "neckfiller". It conjures up the feeling/image of food getting caught in one's throat in a most unpleasant way. Not very appetising.

[BongoJoe]

Memories

The number of times that on work days in Antwerpen that I had a near fatal hangover and the only thing that I could face at lunch was one of these are just too many to mention.

Weekend hangovers, of course, were treated to a pot of mussels on the banks of the Schelde with copious amounts of either Hoogarden (in pre-Interbrew days) and/or De Koningk.

Thanks for the glorious memories.

(excuse spelling. It's the gin. Honest)

[Manolo]

491-eater?

What I would like to know is why the jamon is arranged to spell 491?

(And yes, I know it should be 419-eater. Makes it extra puzzeling)

Also, the name of the dish is spelled right in the title (uitsmijter) but wrong in the article (uitsmeijter).

[mrtimzo]

OMG also not listed yet ?

after skimming comments more, I realize nobody has yet said a word about Huevos Rancheros. Classic day after fare or just big breakfast with smattering of interesting leftovers.

good basic build: (there are plenty of recipies online for variants, obviously):

some corn tortilla, or flour ones if you have no corn ones available

eggs

decent selection of: refried beans, salsa, sour cream, cheese, suitable veg (avadados, cilantro) to your taste.

So,

Soften / warm up tortillas in pan or microwave

pan fry the eggs sunny-side up, so still runny

heat up refries

assembly: Put 2 tortilla on your plate, then a blop of refries smeared around, then one egg per tortilla. Blop of salsa, a few slices of avacado, some grated cheese, blob of sour cream, some chopped cilantro, anything else you feel like on top, and bingo you are good to go.

It is meant to be messy when you eat it, and it is good.

[Lester Haines]

Huevos rancheros

We did this back in 2012. Delicious: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/07/06/haggis_huevos/?page=2