back to article Post-pub nosh neckfillers: Reader suggestions invited

We at the post-pub nosh neckfiller team are drawing up a menu for the next batch of wobbly dining delicacies, and invite readers to suggest their faves for inclusion on the list. As our alcohol-fuelled haute cuisine regulars know, since last November we've travelled the world in search of those recipes best suited to …

  1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese

    Cheesey Chips

    Brilliant, simple, classic

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cheesey Chips

      A popular NW variation is recommend is Chips, Cheese & Gravy.

      To save a few £:

      Buy only chips on way home.

      Make instant gravy (Onion favourite, beef or veggie for a lighter bite), pour over chips.

      Microwave briefly if heat boost required.

      Sprinkle with favourite shredded cheese & keep some aside for topping up.

      Standard variation is to mix favourite chilli sauce in gravy before pouring over.

      Red pepper sauce with onion/beef or Jalapeno with veggie gravy work well.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Trollface

        Re: Cheesey Chips

        *shudders*

        No wonder it's grim oop north. What with the wolves and bears roaming through the primeval forests and the (far worse) horror of soggy chips!

        Chips should be adulterated only with salt, vinegar, ketchup and/or curry ketchup. Although I remember enjoying salad cream with them in my youth. Mayonnaise is wrong.

        1. ukgnome

          Re: Cheesey Chips

          with gravy!

          Filthy filthy sorts.

          The traditional recipe from the Land of the Prince Bishops demands that it is the magical garlic sauce that is used, and it must be bought from the dirty shop.

          *Sadly Penis's is no longer opposite Rixy's

      2. Montreal Sean

        Re: Cheesey Chips

        Chips, gravy, and cheese...so a poutine then? :)

        Of course poutine requires cheese curds...

  2. dogged

    Chicken pakoras.

    1. dogged

      Oh come on, who doesn't like Pakoras? I've missed them as a post-pub treat ever since I stopped working in Glasgow.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This may be slightly boring, but what about Greek Gyros?

    1. beaker_72

      Greek Gyros?

      What's the difference between those and a doner kebab? I think we might already know about them...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Greek Gyros?

        They are different, I'm sure of it. No idea of the difference though ( hoping El Reg would do the legwork for me :) )

        1. Ben Bonsall

          Re: Greek Gyros?

          Gyros is strips of marinated meat cooked on a giant vertical spit and shaved like a doner... Doner is minced and mixed with spices and sawdust and formed into an elephant's leg.

  4. dan1980

    Cheese and tomato sandwich

    Add ham or left-over chicken if you want.

    I think these competitions are fundamentally unfair because I have read the recipes and I have also been in the situation described as requiring such filling and I an tell you that, despite being a competent (home) cook, I simply can't see myself managing much of what is proposed in these articles.

    So, I think the fairest assessment must follow from meals cooked "post-pub". Mixing and kneading and prooving and grating and straining and shaping and frying and, well, it all seems rather a lot for the time of night (morning) one might be whipping these up and certainly for the state one would be in.

    Practicality must be recognised and some of these recipes seem rather . . . ambitious.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

      Cheese toasties.

      1. dan1980
        Thumb Up

        Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

        YES!

        Sorry - I missed the important bit!!! After a skin-full it must be hot!!!

        A TOASTED cheese and tomato sandwich is the simplest thing that is hot, filling, delicious, not re-heated (microwaved) left-overs and that one can prepare at any time and in almost any state with minimal risk to life, limb and property.

        Many a night has seen me man the cutting board and the oven grill turning out toasted cheese sandwiches.

        My personal recipe has pesto on one slice, Dijon mustard on the other and filled with cheese, tomato and sliced pickled onions. Also I usually slice the cheese thinly and put some on each slice (so two layers of cheese) so the tomato and onion are encased in a melted cheese embrace.

        Worth the small extra effort.

        1. Pedigree-Pete
          Mushroom

          Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

          Beware of tomatoes in toasted Cheese sandwiches, especially when under the influence. I'd vote for Cheese & Ham. Safer.

          1. NumptyScrub

            Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

            Having dealt with cheese and pickle Brevilles (other brands are available) I can second the dangers of allowing a drunken fool to bite straight into a cheese and tomato toastie without checking the temperature carefully. The SHC of some vegetables is apparently orders of magnitude less than cheese or bread...

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

            Cheese can, if you use a Breville, also be hotter than the sun.

            1. Triggerfish

              Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

              I would predict a sudden spate of people with small blisters near the lower lip and chin area.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

                I would predict a sudden spate of people with small blisters near the lower lip and chin area.

                Yeah, I've taken that kind of woman home after a skinful too.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

      Whilst the cheese toasty is indeed a fine accompaniment to a post pub return home, I can think of better. I use a toasty maker, so the cheese will also be dangerously hot. My trick is to make 2, my machine only does one at a time. By the time the second is on the plate, the first will have cooled sufficiently to be safe. I'd imagine that pickle, like jam, is deadly. So perhaps the pickle should be served on the side? Myself I prefer ketchup.

      But the best toasty is the egg toasty. You need a maker with pronounced edges, that crimp the bread effectively to avoid leakages. This is bad enough with cheese, but far worse with egg.

      Then you put your bottom slice of bread in, gently push down, whip in the egg you've decanted into a cup/bowl for speed, slap the top slice of bread on as fast as you can, and hold the toasty maker shut for 30 seconds to seal it. You then get a kind of poached/baked egg with sort of fried edges from the butter soaking through the bread. So yummy.

      My current favourite is bacon or fish finger sandwiches though.

      1. NumptyScrub

        Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

        But the best toasty is the egg toasty. You need a maker with pronounced edges, that crimp the bread effectively to avoid leakages. This is bad enough with cheese, but far worse with egg.

        Oh. My. $DEITY. That sounds delicious, I am going to have to try this :D

        I'd imagine that pickle, like jam, is deadly.

        Anyone who has ever used a toastie maker (of any brand) will be well aware that there is a ridiculous difference in the specific heat capacities of some ingredients. The main problem is that finding this out only ever seems to occur after the fact :'(

  5. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    Chorizo Quesadilla

    Tortillas Check

    Grated Cheese Check

    Sliced Chorizo Check

    Chopped Onion Check

    Sliced Tomato Check

    Yogurt, sour cream or Crème fraîche Check

    Chopped Korriander\Cilantro Check

    Hot Skillet Check

    Beer Check!

    Appetite Check!

    Do the leg work (chopping and shredding) before the pub, save yourself some time ;-}

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Blitheringeejit
      Pint

      Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

      Amidst all the bacon, potato and deep-fried options on offer here, there seems to be a subtle prejudice that people who might enjoy healthy food, and even (whisper it softly) your actual vegetablarians, are far too worthy to enjoy a punishing night out, so never have to deal with the consequences. I beg to differ (see icon) - my body is a not a temple but a playground (it's my wallet that's a temple). So for those who share my tastes and want to feel better the morning after an extended session on whatever intoxicants float their boat, may I present "magic" miso soup, so-called for it's remarkable curative properties. Amounts of everything to taste, it's more a framework than an application...

      WHAT:

      Dashi stock made with kombu if you can be bothered, otherwise water;

      Mix of fresh veg such as spring onions, carrots, celery (including green tops) - all sliced quite finely, aim for about 3mm thickness at thinnest point, carrots best done as sticks if your knife skills are up to it;

      Mushrooms (shitake if your consultancy dayrate can stand it, otherwise chestnut), in larger chunks;

      Spinach - fresh or frozen, if frozen thaw in microwave before adding (or use lettuce, mizuna, or other greenery of choice);

      Tofu - some like it silken, I prefer the chewier ones;

      Dark miso of your choice - I like barley but rice is fine, guess at about 2tbsp per litre of soup;

      Other dried Japanese seaweed of choice - hijiki, arame etc - if you wish;

      A sheet of nori seaweed, toasted but not burnt under grill or over flame (the only difficult bit in this recipe, watch it like a hawk - the window of toasted but not burnt lasts about 250ms).

      HOW:

      If using dried seaweed, soak in water according to instructions;

      Bring water/stock to a simmer, add veg, shrooms, seaweed etc in vague order of hardness. Max boiling time for any of it shouldn't exceed about 6 minutes - this is foreign food, so no Brit-style mush-boiling (though if you're using shitakes they may need a bit longer);

      Dilute miso in jar/mug with hot (not boiling) water, so it can be easily poured;

      Turn off heat, then add diluted miso progressively, stirring and tasting as you go until it no longer tastes like you need to add salt;

      Ladle into bowl, then crush and sprinkle toasted nori on top;

      Consume, and be magically revived.

      Option - if you need carbs to aid your recovery, cook noodles and place in bottom of bowl before adding soup.

      1. Jos V

        Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

        While you're at it... In Tokyo we'd head for the local Ramen shop and get a huge bowl (yes, there is pork involved, so it's hardly veggy), spiced up to the brink of internal spontanious combustion, but it works.

        Still one of my favourites anywhere I am...

        1. The Quiet One

          Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

          There is a Veggy Ramen place in Tokyo Central Station that is the absolute dog's danglies! If i could stomach 12hr flight each way I would go back just for that.

          1. Triggerfish

            Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

            Easy drunk Asian type soup.

            Mince pork roll into balls.

            Bring water to the boil with the pork balls, add some leeks, add a pork stock cube. Simmer a couple of minutes.

            Chuck in glass thread noddles, and small cubes of soft (silken) tofu.

            Season with fish sauce.

            Add some shitake mushrooms if you are feeling posh.

          2. Blitheringeejit

            Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

            One small life-regret is that I've never made it to the Far East to experience any of this stuff in its native form.

            But as with any Japanese soup/broth with noodly option, I'm sure you can feed your meat frenzy by adding slices of pork, and/or use chicken stock - I haven't tried it, but it shouldn't affect the magic.

            To acquire full wisdom on these matters, Tampopo is compulsory viewing.

            1. OpenSauce

              Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

              http://www.tampopo.co.uk/

              Been a few times, now I know where they got the name from (actually on their about us link - never checked before).

              Used to do a good deal on Ramen soup-noodle dishes if a cinema ticket holder at Trafford Centre in Manchester. Sadly no longer.

      2. dogged
        Thumb Up

        Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

        I love meat.

        However, I also like Miso soup and will give your recipe a try. Thanks.

      3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

        The only problem with ramen is that it's hard enough to eat when sober. Once drunk, you may as well put your head in the bowl and save yourself the hassle of getting covered in food only gradually...

        I do like noodles with a bit of sauce as quick fillers though.

    2. MonkeyCee

      Hmmm

      Presumably after you've been necking a few bottles of proscecco? :)

      Sounds more like something from the guardian.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      could we have some recipies using breast milk?

      If you can get a source of that after a few beers on a Friday night why the hell are you thinking about food?

  8. Squander Two

    Bacon and egg pie

    Cook it before you go out. It's delicious cold.

    Cut a load of bacon into strips (streaky, ideally, because the bacon fat provides the only moisture in this). Put a sheet of pastry in a metal pie dish greased with butter. Arrange the strips in the pastry so that there are seven wells, one in the centre and six around it. Add black pepper, and maybe chopped parsley if you like, but obviously not salt. Break whole eggs into the wells. Put another sheet of pastry on top, and seal the edges. If you're clever and want to show off, cut beautiful delicate leaves out of pastry and stick them on top. Glaze the pastry with milk or beaten egg. Bake for about 45 min, until golden. If you buy ready-rolled pastry, this is about as easy as cooking gets.

    Eat with good ketchup or baked beans. The whole egg yolks are what really make it.

    My mum claims this was a standard British dish until it was ousted by the Great French Quiche Invasion. But my mum says a lot of things. Whatever, it's fantastic.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Bacon and egg pie

      Oooooh. That sounds very interesting indeed. Healthy too! I must make that.

  9. Caff

    Taco chips

    Chips ( not taco chips, potato ones fries if you will ) , mince beef with taco sauce covered in mayo and topped with cheese.

    It should look something like this https://www.pinterest.com/pin/404549979000031149/

  10. Ben Bonsall

    Sticky Pasta

    1) Open tin of tuna in oil. Must be in oil.

    2) empty onto large plate

    3) Boil spaghetti in a pan, with the plate with the tuna on as a lid.

    4) once done, remove plate and drain spaghetti

    5) grate copious quantities of cheddar cheese onto now warm tuna

    6) put spaghetti on top of cheese

    7) grate on more cheese

    8) mix thoroughly

    9) microwave plate for 1 min

    10) splash on tobacco

    11) eat with knife and fork. there is no way you can do the windy thing with the spoon if you have made it right, as everything will be one big lump of pasta tuna and cheese.

    12) wash down with more of what you were drinking before

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Smoking recipe

      "splash on tobacco"? I'll stick to tabasco, ta.

      1. Pedigree-Pete

        Re: Smoking recipe

        Pot, kettle, black. No one is innocent of the odd typo. Except of course me, phew this one time

      2. Ben Bonsall

        Re: Smoking recipe

        I blame the smell checker.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: Smoking recipe

          Very good.

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. zaax

    The Reindeer in Norwich had it right the Chinese next door had a hatch in to the pub

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There used to be a pub near me with a proper chip shop next door. You could order from the bar and they'd deliver to your table.

      It's been replaced with a crappy "bistro" now. Which I learned means you get a soup bowl of chips for £3.

      1. Triggerfish

        They have attached a proper curry house to one of our locals, a stroke of genuis.

  13. Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

    Another 5 pints

    ...or so....

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Corned beef and onion pie

    Title says it all as a starting point, throw in some potatoes, chilies, whatever and you get a full meal.

    Only one thing to be careful of, make sure you open the tin of corned beef before you go out otherwise you might wake up with a few fingers missing.

  15. wikkity

    Tuna and mushroom

    Tin of tuna mixed in bowl of condensed mushroom soup, stir and mircowave. If not too p*ssed some pasta goes well.

  16. Pedigree-Pete
    Thumb Up

    Stovies

    I'm sure there are many variants of this Scottish(?) favourite. Corned Beef, root veg & of course onions. Prep & mash before pub. Micro on return. No lost fingers.

  17. The Quiet One

    Healthyish Curry Alternative

    I make a 20 minute Dahl that really is delicious and simple.

    1. Fry Two chopped Carrots and a Large Onion in Olive Oil, with Lazy Garlic and Chilli. for 5 mins

    2. Tip in Curry Powder, vegetable stock cube, 750ML boiling water and a dollop of Tomato Puree

    3. Chuck in 75g Red Lentils (dried), stir...

    4. Lid on, simmer for 15 mins stirring occasionally.

    Made all the better if served with a beer and a bog standard naan from the supermarche of you choice!

    Boom!

  18. BobRocket
    Joke

    Mmm...food

    Come in bladdered, get a pan (any size/shape) open cupboard and place any combination of stuff that looks tasty (at the time) into pan and cook, add copious amounts of seasonings/ketchups.

    Enjoy !!

    Wake up in the morning with your head in the pan (that still contains 1/3 of the 'meal') and wonder why the pool on the floor has carrots in it.

  19. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    Shooters Sandwich

    Takes a bit of prep, but neatly avoids any potentially dangerous kitchen activity while inebriated.

    This is the version which captured my attention

    and here is an alternative more to my own personal taste (add bacon, hold the mushrooms)

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Shooters Sandwich

      Yes, that's one's already on the list. Delicious.

  20. Professor Clifton Shallot

    Noodles and peas.

    Put noodles (I like the ones that have absolutely no English writing on them at all) and their provided seasoning in a bowl. Add frozen peas. Cover in boiling water. Put a plate over the top. Eat after three minutes (or when you remember you did this).

    I happen to actually like it but that's not really the point - it's incredibly easy to get right even when many, if not most, other activities have become a struggle.

    it's about as close to "Eat bread" as you can get while still claiming to be cooking anything.

    The most common error is using cold water or beer and neither results in anything that will hurt you.

    1. NumptyScrub
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Noodles and peas.

      The most common error is using cold water or beer, and neither results in anything that will hurt you.

      COTW material :D

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Noodles and peas.

      If you want to claim to have actually cooked something do as my wife does and stir an egg in.

    3. Pirate Dave Silver badge
      Pirate

      Re: Noodles and peas.

      My ex-wife used to make something similar. I still make it from time to time.

      Boil egg noodles as per directions

      during the last 3-4 minutes for the noodles, add frozen green peas (can also add some ham, chopped into small cubes).

      drain and add butter (a tablespoon or two) and stir to coat everything with butter

      season with black pepper, red pepper flakes, and parmesan cheese

      yums.

      A variant is to add sliced yellow squash when adding the noodles. Double yums, if you like squash.

  21. Dan Paul

    The "Garbage Plate" from Nick Tahou's in Rochester

    There is a diner style place in Rochester NY USA that has a thing called the "Garbage Plate".

    This is a mainstay for drunk college students at RIT and U of R. Nick Tahou's in Rochester has been around since the '50's. This has been copied all over the area in one form or another.

    Their Wiki states - "A Garbage Plate is a combination of two selections of cheeseburger, hamburger, red hots, white hots, Italian sausage, chicken tender, fish (haddock), fried ham, grilled cheese, or eggs; and two sides of either home fries, French fries, baked beans, or macaroni salad. On top of that are the options of mustard and onions, and Nick's proprietary hot sauce, a sauce with spices and slowly simmered ground beef. The dish is served with Italian bread and butter on the side.[2][3] Health.com named the Garbage Plate the fattiest food in the state of New York.[4]"

    See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Tahou_Hots

    1. Efros

      Re: The "Garbage Plate" from Nick Tahou's in Rochester

      Place in Glasgow did a Trash Can Burger which was a burger with a bit of everything else that was on the menu. Interestingly delicious.

  22. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    I like the breakfast burrito

    Tex-Mex at its finest.

    Sausage or bacon. Or both, or ham.

    salsa. I've often make too much for left-overs, but the supermarket jars are OK in this instance, with maybe some tabasco to give them a little kick.

    scrambled egg

    grated cheese

    corn / flour tortillas

    The trick seems to be in balancing the flavours. So not too much of any one ingredient. Bit of salsa spread in the middle of the tortilla, small sprinkling of grated cheese (not too much), 2 rashers of bacon and/or a sausage sliced lengthways (less if you've got tiny tortillas), spoon of scrambled eggs. Makes a nice brunch, but also goes very well with beer, or a bottle of cava.

    To do perfectly they're a bit fiddly, as you want to get all the ingredients hot at the same time, and then delivered and wrapped super quick onto a warmed plate. Otherwise they're down to only warm by the second one. But they're still delicious warm, so being a bit slower and less coordinated is no problem.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slop

    My mum used to make what we call "slop".

    Microwave a bowl of corned beef and jacket potato, then mash it together. Serve with brown sauce and/or baked beans.

    It's amazingly nice, although it did get some funny lucks off school friends when they saw it.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stovies

    Venture to the dark and distant north and find yourself a nice big plate of Stovies, nothing better after a night on the sauce.

  25. ukgnome

    Basically anything Mexican

    If it can be rolled in a burrito or sandwiched in a quesadilla then its totally awesome.

    I will also accept Nacho, soft taco or if I am feeling up for a balancing act then tostadita.

    Of course if I trusted myself around serious hot oil then chimichanga every day of the week please and thank you.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quite surprised you haven't tackled "Poor Man's Potatoes" yet. Lots of recipes about - here's the first one that came up:

    http://www.orceserranohams.com/poor-mans-potatoes/

    ...and as a bonus, I shall throw what is -as far as I know- an original recipe. I call it "Cheese'n''Ting". A variation on cheese on toast. No recipe; but here's the layers:

    ====== <---- Cayenne pepper to taste

    ====== <---- Cheese - decent cheddar for preference

    ====== <---- Chopped button mushrooms (thin layer to cover the bread)

    ====== <---- Hoi Sin Sauce

    ====== <---- Lightly toasted bread

    ...you wouldn't think it works, but somehow it does; it depends greatly on the Hoi Sin sauce...you want the more meaty-flavoured sort and not the incredibly sweet sort. I was quite thoroughly "back from the pub" when it was invented; but it has since passed the "is also delicious when sober" test.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Versatile

    You can cook potato waffles in the toaster. A bit messy.

    You can cook noodles in the kettle. Very messy but not as bad as you are probably thinking.

    You can cook eggs and bacon directly on a halogen hob. Degree of mess ranges from extreme to conflagration depending on how much you fall asleep.

  28. Thecowking

    Coco pops toastie

    Requires, coco pops, bread, toastie maker.

    Butter the outside of the bread, add coco pops to the middle, put in a toastie maker (a proper one that fuses the crust into a kind of chewy ceramic). Wait a few minutes.

    Enjoy having your mouth burnt to a blistered mess by the hot sugar.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Menudo

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menudo_%28soup%29

    Great for hangovers

  30. HildyJ Silver badge
    Happy

    "Grills With"

    One from my college days at the University Diner in Charlottesville, Virginia:

    Take a plain glazed yeast donut; fry both sides; serve with a scoop of ice cream in the hole.

  31. Richard 111

    Bratkartoffelpfanne mit Spiegelei

    Lived in Germany for a while and enjoyed Bratkartoffelpfanne mit Spiegelei aka fried potatoes with bacon and onion with a fried egg.

    In London I was partial to a kebap from Crystal Charcoal Restaurant on Holloway Rd. Looks like it had a rough spot a few years later. They had a big Turkish Gyros spit was made with slices of meat rather than the compressed sort. In the afternoon they put a fresh one on and by the early morning hours it would be all gone.

  32. Slap

    Bratwurst with Rösti

    Living in the German speaking part of Switzerland the typical post pub nosh would be a Bratwurst with Rösti in a spicy onion sauce, or simply just the Rösti.

    Rösti, for those not familiar, is shredded potatoes which are then fried - par boiling the potatoes first is my preferred way and also adding diced bacon or ham. The Bratwurst you an pick up anywhere in Switzerland (Substituting a Cumberland sausage would probably work as well), and the sauce I make from your standard gravy plus onions and a bit of tabasco.

    Once the Rösti is done you can then move it to the oven and melt some cheese over the top of it for a bit of extra something.

    That said I don't cook it that often as it's so much easier to go to a restaurant or Bierhalle and get it served for a pretty cheap (by Swiss standards) price.

  33. sad_loser
    Childcatcher

    SFR

    No one seems to have mentioned Special Fried Rice.

    My top 3

    Lamb rogan josh with a naan bread

    Kebab made from lumps of identifiable meat rather than elephant leg

    SFR

  34. Henry Minute

    No cooking required

    Cheese, peanut-butter and Mayo baps.

    Baps - MUST be wholemeal. Got to eat healthily :)

    Cheese - Nice strong cheddar, thickly sliced. The sort that crinkles the roof of your mouth.

    Peanut-butter - Crunchy or smooth, your choice

    Mayo - If you don't have any of the real stuff then from a jar is OK.

    Assembly couldn't be simpler. Spread peanut-butter on one half of the bap, spread mayo thickly on the other half, slam hunk of cheese in middle.

    Sounds horrible, tastes delish.

  35. KBeee Silver badge

    OK - this is AFTER PUB stuff , you don't need "24 hour Marinade" (while squiffy), or 93 ingredients..

    Put slice of bread into toaster - Fill 1/3 mug of water - break egg in - 1 minute in microwave - leave for 20 seconds - 10 more seconds in microwave - put perfect poached egg onto toast. Dribble down chin.

  36. Mark 85 Silver badge

    One from my college days...

    Take leftover macaroni and cheese, get 2-3 eggs and beat well, along with bacon, sausage, and/or ham.

    Put oil in a skillet and when hot, add leftover mac and cheese. Fry, stirring frequently, until starting to brown. Add eggs and meat. Continue cooking until meaty bits are hot. Add condiments to taste.

    Side note: I have a friend who uses leftover spaghetti with meat sauce, adds the eggs, but no additional meat. He claims it's the best for the morning after. I think I rather have cold pizza than that....

  37. PlinyElder

    Back to Basics: Welsh Rarebit

    What about the grandaddy (AFAIK) of them all: Welsh Rarebit (Rabbit)?

    Surely the SPB has some good Rarebit recipes knocking about?

    A classic of the sloshed evening!

  38. Maynard G. Krebs

    Poutine any one??

    Ok for the record I live in Alaska, but the most totally bad ass post pub nosh I have ever encountered is Poutine, a Canadian staple. It is fries (chips for tbose of you east of the pond) with gravy and cheese sause. Heart attack on a plate but it just tastes so damn good!!!

  39. imanidiot Silver badge

    Not strictly POST pub nosh

    As they go well with a beer it's not strictly POST pub nosh, but I'll throw in the traditional Dutch "Bitterbal" (random google hit recipe: http://www.holland.com/global/tourism/article/bitterballen.htm . Alternative: http://dutchfood.about.com/od/starterssnacks/r/Beef-Bitterballen-Recipe.htm)

    If you can get them frozen/premade, it'll be a lot easier post pub. (Just tip a box of thawed balls into a deep-fryer and wait until cooked) but nothing beats home-made. Though I've never tried to make them myself.

    WARNING, once you've fried these they contain burning hot fatty ragoux on the inside. BE CAREFUL and warn people about this before you let them eat this stuff. (NASTY burns can result if someone thinks they can just gulp one down straight out of the fryer. The breading might have cooled a bit, but the interior is still HOT)

  40. Efros

    Scot's Breakfast

    A selection of the following, fried of course.

    Round Sausage slice

    Lorne Sausage slice

    Pork Link Sausage

    Beef Link Sausage

    Black Pudding slice

    Haggis Slice

    Fruit Pudding Slice

    Clootie Dumpling slice

    Egg

    Ayrshire Back Bacon

    Fried Bread

    and of course a gallon of tea and a few buttered morning rolls.

  41. Fink-Nottle

    Bunny chow

    No rabbits involved.

    A hollowed out bread loaf filled with meat curry that's Durban's traditional post-whatever 'dish' that tastes best at silly-o'clock in the morning.

  42. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Cornish pasty

    Skirt steak, potato, swede and onion, seasoned with salt and pepper, wrapped in flaky pastry. Everything that a growing boy needs. Cook and take out of the oven as you leave, perfect when you get back.

    As a side note, when I visited Newquay in 2012, there was a late night pasty shop.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Crisp sandwich

    And if you want to be exotic

    Crisp and banana sandwich

    Actually this is a rather sad post as I usually put HP sauce on the crisps and it reminds me that I'm down to my last bottle of UK made HP.

    On a brighter note, there's really no need for an article on how to make a sandwich so how about a compilation of 5-minute neck fillers.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Crisp sandwich

      I think a compendium of quick reader faves is a good plan. I too am down to half a bottle of HP. The situation is about to get serious.

  44. David Roberts

    Breville????

    Why all this advanced technology?

    The proper way to prepare a hot cheese sandwich is to make the sandwich then fry on both sides in a frying pan, until the outside is crisp and the cheese is runny. Best in Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

    Additional ingredients (such as salami or onions) can be added to the cheese sandwich before frying.

    Very tasty if served covered in baked beans and allowed to stand long enough for the juice to soak in.

    The beans should be liberally sprinkled with L&P sauce.

    Fried bacon, as always, is a fine accompaniment.

  45. Jim R

    Ugandan "Rolex"

    In Uganda there is a street food called the Rolex, which is a shortening of "rolled eggs".

    You get one or two eggs and beat them in a mug with a pinch of salt and maybe a little finely chopped red onion or tomato (vendors all have their own way).

    Start frying in a large pan as you would with an omelette, spreading it out thin to the rough size of a chapati, until the top is just a little wet.

    Then you take an east African Chapati, which is about the size of a dinner plate and soft and unleavened, slap it onto the wet side.

    Flip the whole arrangement onto the chapati side until the egg is bonded to the chapati.

    Flip again and cover the egg side with a combination of sliced tomatoes, finely shredded cabbage, avocado or any other salad stuff you fancy, then roll it up tight like you would roll up a magazine.

    These things were just as welcome as breakfast, lunch, dinner or apre-lash snacking.

  46. e^iπ+1=0

    Pho

    Some kind of overspiced SE Asian soup (like Pho) or maybe something Szechuan with tofu would get my eyes watering for a post pub event. Or a Som Tam.

    Or just a simple fried rice with abundant birds eye chilies on the side.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm surprised nobody has posted to mention Croque Monsieur - pretty easy, pretty classic, and pretty hearty (combo with Egg, Bread, Meat, Cheese - what can go wrong ? :-)

    millions of varieties out there, but this is not so bad a version:

    http://www.food.com/recipe/the-classic-french-bistro-sandwich-croque-monsieur-234010

  48. Did you try turning it off and back on again?
    Windows

    Cuban Mojo Pork Cubanos or Kiwi Bacon and Egg Pie

    Depends on the wake-up/getting ready to pass-out time and your ability to stand, both tried and true.

    Mojo Pork Cubanos = a blissfully porcine-centric sandwich so good it must be in violation of some sort of international treaty.

    Found this while in the service way back when. Decided to give it a try sans-middleman after they published the "El Jefe" recipe from the film "Chef"; definitely my go-to now when the craving hits and simple enough if you prep the meat in advance and have access to a sandwich press or you can improvise one with a couple of cast-iron skillets (yes, I have been very impaired and in my shorts doing the latter at times in my life for other sandwich ventures, but your results may vary... just don't attempt using an electric steam iron).

    Bacon and Egg Pie = A New Zealand staple and a sure remedy for the liver-function impaired.

    Not that much to it, but the best things are usually deceptive that way. Bacon, eggs, worcestershire, ketchup and a dash of salt and pepper all cooked up on a pastry crust gives you a glorious pan of baked goodness. You can add onion, parsley, etc to suite your palate. Very appropriate as both a preventative measure or environmental remediation strategy.

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