Sharing Economy latest: Women's breast milk is the new 'liquid gold' of the internet

Perhaps you don't think that there's a massive and highly lucrative trade in human breast milk on the internet, much of the milk apparently being quaffed by adult men? Perhaps you need to pull your head out of the "real" world, get back online and get up to speed, my friend. To be fair, we here on the Reg breasts-and-related- …

[Khaptain]

Straight from the teat.

Can this now give rise to a new measurement, for example : Mammalian Cubits.

It would also be interesting to know how they qualify and guarantee the quality. Do they have an official "taster"....

El Reg have only done a half arsed job, the photos are "absolutely essential" in this article...

[James 51]

Re: Straight from the teat.

There have been attempts to sell breast milk ice-cream but that fell through because the colour and taste will change to reflect the mother's diet. Rates of breast feeding are so low it would be difficult to source a lot of it anyway.

[msknight]

Re: Straight from the teat.

@khaptain Apparently each mother comes with an official tasting unit created with every new production run.

[Khaptain]

Re: Straight from the teat.

@khaptain Apparently each mother comes with an official tasting unit created with every new production run.

Who the fuck downvoted that, it's a witty and merits a chuckle or did you not understand the comment.

[Purple-Stater]

Re: Straight from the teat.

or it's somebody with no sense of humour who will point out in an imminent post that women can produce breast milk without becoming pregnant.

To be technical, so can men, it just takes longer.

I've always been a bit annoyed by the term "breast milk"; it's simply milk. Human milk if there's a need to specify the species of origin. We don't say cow's udder milk, and human's aren't the only species with breasts (vs udders).

[ravenviz]

Re: Straight from the teat.

It's to differentiate from man milk.

[msknight]

Re: Straight from the teat.

@ Khaptain - Thank you! Thank you! I'm here all week! ... actually, I've been around for the last few years, but no one's noticed before now :-)

I think it was because I used the wrong icon. I've been using the troll face thinking it was for the funnies! Well, er, looks like the jokes' on me!

[Fungus Bob]

Re: Who the fuck downvoted that,

H8rs gonna h8

[All names Taken]

New business model

Wouldn't a better business model be draft sales direct from source at an outlet (or two) near you?

Of course, some customers might prefer their drink from a tumbler rather than direct from source?

Just wondering that's all?

[dogged]

For commercial sale, wouldn't the milk have to be pasteurised?

[hplasm]

"...wouldn't the milk have to be pasteurised?"

Pasteurised is best- but I don't care if it just comes up to my chest!

/Ernie

[Dazed and Confused]

Side effects

> it may be advisable to procure the co-operation of your wife/girlfriend/other trusted female friend to source what you are looking for, rather than purchase on-line.

The problem with this approach is :

a) The long lead time, this doesn't gel with a want it now society

b and most importantly) the side (or waste) product of the manufacturing process.

This waste product normally consumes all available production, damages the production equipment and consumes all other resources you thought you had.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmmm Bitty

[JimmyPage]

Sickly stuff

as I recall ...

[Les Matthew]

Re: Sickly stuff

Don't know who down voted you but have an up vote as I thought it was awful after the birth of my youngest daughter. The 2am breast pump malarkey can be rather amusing.

[d3vy]

Re: Sickly stuff

Anyone who has kids that were breastfed and says they didn't try it at least once is lying.

[Law]

Re: Sickly stuff

"Anyone who has kids that were breastfed and says they didn't try it at least once is lying."

I didn't, but we only breastfed them for about a month for each.

I was put off very early on from trying it too - in the first week of getting the firstborn home I made my wife pork and apple sausages, and the milk / babypoop stank of the stuff soon after.

[Anthony Hegedus]

Re: Sickly stuff

I didn't

[Martin Budden]

Re: Sickly stuff

Tried a small sip once, it was actually very good. Creamy & sweet (compared to cow's milk, anyway).

[Anonymous Coward]

Once man milk becomes popular for it's high protein content I'll make a fortune.

[Anonymous Coward]

The commerce is usually the other way round though, where the "donor" is the one who pays to have his milk drunk..

[Khaptain]

"pays to have his milk swallowed"

TFTFY

[drand]

Caution advised

Fair play to mothers making some cash from spare lactations - as a pro-breastfeeding father of two I wonder how much all those bags of expressed milk in the freezer would have been worth had I not chucked them away - but there is a small but still-there risk of passing Hepatitis C through breast milk, so buying it through any old source on t'internetz is A Bad Idea.

[Khaptain]

Re: Caution advised

I didn't know that fathers could breastfeed...

[JimmyPage]

I didn't know that fathers could breastfeed

Anatomically, there's no reason they couldn't

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_lactation

[kryptonaut]

Mmm...

Thanks for the mammaries

[hplasm]

Re: Mmm...

Pull the udder one...

[TitterYeNot]

Re: Mmm...

It's a titty there are so many knockers of this article - do they not realise that many a true word is spoken in chest? Bit of a hooter by El Reg though, they seem to be milking the story for all it's worth.

Ahem...may I express my sincere regret, my sense of humour appears to be heading for rack and ruin...

[Khaptain]

Re: Mmm...

I've never seen a more appropriate pseudo.

[Anonymous Coward]

"The unregulated practice of milk sharing/selling has led to a rash"

Says it all really.

[jake]

Apparantly ...

... most of such online product is actually re-hydrated dried cow milk.

Caveat emptor, as always, especially online.

[Phil O'Sophical]

Re: Apparantly ...

Caveat emptor, as always, especially online.

Yep, where there's brass, there's muck.

[Anonymous Blowhard]

Re: Apparantly ...

And W. C. Fields has never been so relevant:

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

[Admiral Grace Hopper]

They must be hungry

I wondered why my colleagues spend so much time staring at my chest rather than making eye contact.

[Khaptain]

Re: They must be hungry

It's all a question of cleavage appetite.....

[Anonymous Coward]

Clearly...

this is a good topic for a Tim Worstall article.

[Rich 11]

Re: Clearly...

Probably regarding the premium attached by the free market to product sourced from providers with different levels of celebrity status.

[TheProf]

Watch out for fakes.

Holly: Emergency back-up supply. We're on the dog's milk.

Lister: Dog's milk?!

Holly: Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog's milk.

Lister: Why?

Holly: No bugger'll drink it. Plus, of course, the advantage of dog's milk is that when it goes off, it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.

[Zog_but_not_the_first]

Does that mean?

The producer is a "cash cow".

Coat and running shoes, obviously.

[Spiracle]

Scarcity economics

Women's BREAST MILK is the new 'liquid GOLD' of the internet

So men's breast milk should command an even greater premium then.

[Anonymous Coward]

Will someone please...

............think of the children!

[TRT]

Web ordering of fresh produce... Hmm... On demand lactation...

An internet connected expressing device...

The Internet of Things Personal Uplinked Mammary Palpating device.

[Billa Bong]

Strict no photography rule at the factory. The after-tour shop had no such policy.

[The last doughnut]

That's why I read El Reg - to keep abreast of developments.

[hi_robb]

Bad business idea this...

It's bound to go tits-up.

[Surreal]

Of course you can trust online sales!

Homer: They're milking rats! Milking rats!

Mayor Quimby: [to Fat Tony] Rats? I'm outraged. You promised me dog or higher.

Paris, because now I'm pondering how much a pint of celebutard milk might auction for, and there's no Kim Kardashian icon

[Simon Harris]

Liquid gold of the internet.

I thought Bitcoin was supposed to be modelled on gold and gold mining, and was therefore the gold of the internet.

If breast milk is usurping it as the new gold of the internet, I vote we name it Titcoin.

[Martin Budden]

app names

Doubtless they will be proper sharing economy app-based offerings rather than oldschool websites - a dozen names ending in "r" spring to mind.

Tittr ye not! Or Knockr, Jugglr, or how about Milkr (for all she's worth).