
My morning coffee!
Capita appears to have captured the hearts of locals in Waterloo, with reviewers rushing to shower the outfit with plaudits, and praising its “helpful and friendly staff” and “great value”. Laycee2008 gave Capita five stars, saying “Friendly staff and ave prices. Staff are really friendly too. We come back every time we're in …
- Hi, one large doner kebab please.
- Certainly mate, that'll be £25.
- Wha? HOW much? It says £5 on the menu!
- That was printed yesterday guv. Prices may be ammended without prior notification.
- Bloody 'ell! Oh well, I'm hungry, here you go. How long will it be?
- If you come back in 3 days at the same time, it'll be ready for you then.
- You're joking right? I'm starving, I can't wait that long!
- Bit of a backlog in the system I'm afraid. Delivery dates are subject to random delays.
- This is just not good enough! I want one now!
- OK, OK, keep yer hair on guv! Look, I can give you this one, it'll be fine once I've scraped the dodgy bits off.
- But thats just a piece of stale pita bread with some rancid tomatoes in it! Where's the meat and the rest of it?
- I'm afraid you didn't mention other ingredients in the specifications mate. I can add those for an extra 30 quid though. There you go, a public sector special kebab!
- FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
Or even,
- Hi, one large doner kebab please.
- Certainly mate, that'll be £25m.
- Wha? HOW much? It says £5 on the menu!
- That was printed yesterday guv. Capita reserve the unconditional right to change its prices without due notification.
- Oh ok, do you take GDS?
- Yeah, no problem. Do you want the kebab cooked, since that costs an extra £5m?
- Yes please, don't worry - the taxpayer is paying for it.