back to article Swordfish fatally stabs man after man stabs, fatally, swordfish

Randy Llanes, a 47-year-old Hawaiian man, has died after leaping into the water to spear a swordfish, receiving a fatal injury in return for the one he delivered. The Department of Land and Natural Resources reports that the Kona fishing charter boat captain was fatally injured by a broadbill swordfish he had speared in the …

  1. Big-nosed Pengie

    Fish 1...

    1. Thorne

      Those who live by the spear, die by the sword.....

      1. big_D Silver badge
        Coat

        Book 'em Danno!

  2. PCS

    That takes care of this weeks Darwin Awards nomination.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. MiguelC Silver badge

      Rational?

      While other species learn by example (if that thing killed my buddy, I'd better not touch it), humans keep on making the same mistake (it killed him, but I'm tougher/smarter/etc.)

      So, why do we consider ourselves to be the rational species again?

      1. TheOtherHobbes

        Re: Rational?

        "NATURE? I spit in the face of...... Ow! [thud]"

        Yeah. That.

    3. cray74

      "That takes care of this weeks Darwin Awards nomination."

      Nope, not qualified. He has offspring.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/06/01/fisherman-randy-llanes-killed-swordfish-harpooned_n_7482468.html

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "He has offspring."

        Plenty more swordfish in the sea. Give it time.

  3. AegisPrime
    IT Angle

    Darwin award?

    Surely a fatal man vs. swordfish deserves one?

    1. JonP

      Re: Darwin award?

      No, looks like he had a family (the man - there's not much information about the swordfish.)

  4. ratfox
    Pint

    Cool title

    It's not a palindrome, is it? One of these things.

    1. mahasamatman
      Headmaster

      Re: Cool title

      Hmm. Maybe. The article's title is a word unit palindromic sentence.

      True palindromic sentences have mirrored letters, not words.

      E.g."Live on, Time; emit no evil"

      (one for Google ?)

    2. Chris Miller

      Re: Cool title

      Followed by a Hemingway quote for the subtitle.

      1. DocJames
        Happy

        Re: Cool title @Chris Miller

        Good pick up! Completely bypassed me

      2. Evil Auditor

        Re subtitle

        Yes, but with Hemingway is was clear who said it...

  5. Pete 48
    FAIL

    Big Heart

    Ironic that 'he had such a big heart', Perhaps the fish knew that too, then aimed for it.

    1. Ray Gratis
      Coat

      Re: Big Heart

      No - the fish was just being nosey.

  6. oldtaku

    GOOD

    Just imagine this were you walking by and some aggro a-hole chav just leaps off a balcony and sticks his knife in you (hur hur) just because he thinks he's all f@#$ing special because he's one of 8 billion f#$ing ape-roaches infesting the planet.

    At this point the swordfish is worth far more than this dickhead. It's a bad trade.

    1. TonyJ Silver badge

      Re: GOOD

      I couldn't agree more. Whilst on principal, I generally have no objection to killing to eat, these morons that do it for sport are just that...morons. Especially the ones who do it from hundreds of metres away with high powered, sniper-scope equipped weapons.

      I often wonder how brave they'd be if the odds we evened somewhat - I reckon we'd see more stories like this.

      Just a shame the fish had to die.

      1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

        @TonyJ

        Isn't it every American's right to arm bears?

        1. knarf

          Re: @TonyJ

          Isn't it every American's right to bear arms

          I always thought that was just short sleeves and somehow got lost in translation

        2. wayward4now

          Re: @TonyJ

          "Isn't it every American's right to arm bears?"

          I thought it was "Isn't it every American's right to bear arms?", but what would the bears do without their arms??

      2. NightFox

        Re: GOOD

        I wonder if J R Hartley used to receive abuse and death threats?

        1. Jedit
          IT Angle

          "I wonder if J R Hartley used to receive abuse and death threats?"

          Nah. Dude may have fished, but he was fly.

        2. Frumious Bandersnatch

          Re: GOOD

          I wonder if J R Hartley used to receive abuse and death threats?

          Probably not, but even if he did, it's kind of hard to kill a fictional character. I can't see them running follow-up ads like that.

      3. cray74

        Re: GOOD

        "Whilst on principal, I generally have no objection to killing to eat, these morons that do it for sport are just that...morons"

        Llanes ran the charter boat to feed his family.

        1. Red Bren
          Holmes

          Re: GOOD

          "Llanes ran the charter boat to feed his family."

          How much difference in profit is there between

          "Take a trip on my boat to see the exotic fish."

          and

          "Take a trip on my boat to kill the exotic fish!!!"

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: GOOD

          Llanes ran the charter boat to feed his family.

          So his family lived on exhaust fumes? Interesting...

      4. Lamont Cranston

        Re: "hundreds of metres away with high powered, sniper-scope equipped weapons."

        Given that he lept into the water and stuck it with a spear, I'd say this guy at least had the stones to tackle the fish on its own terms.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Meh

    Hmmm...

    He was such a tough guy that everyone's scared of him," the BBC reports her as saying. "The whole harbour's scared of him."

    In my head, that's translating as "he was a obnoxious prick", but I'm sure that's just me.

    1. TonyJ Silver badge

      Re: Hmmm...

      "In my head, that's translating as "he was a obnoxious prick", but I'm sure that's just me."

      Well my own translation was "bully" but yours is just as good.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmmm...

      He was such a tough guy that everyone's scared of him," the BBC reports her as saying. "The whole harbour's scared of him."

      Obviously the swordfish wasn't and it was in the harbour so she's just trying to big up her brother

    3. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Hmmm...

      In my head, that's translating as "he was a obnoxious prick", but I'm sure that's just me.

      Nope, not just you. Reckon you nailed it.

      1. James Hughes 1

        Re: Hmmm...

        Yup, not just you, sounds like a bullying bumwipe (My children's favourite expletive).

    4. Little Mouse

      Re: Hmmm...

      "The whole harbour's scared of him."

      Which probably served his purposes just fine, right up until the point when his life actually depended on one of the "little guys" giving a flying fuck.

    5. fruitoftheloon
      Pint

      @Lost all faith: Re: Hmmm...

      I took that to mean that he was a complete wanker...

      Have one on me.

      J

    6. Hellcat

      Re: Hmmm...

      I've met or known of a few people who "everyone was scared of" over my lifetime. Perhaps I should introduce them to spear fishing?

    7. Andrew Moore
      Coat

      Re: Hmmm...

      "Heroic Swordfish Rids Harbour Of Bully"

    8. Snivelling Wretch

      Re: Hmmm...

      Maybe that's why they called the fire department and not an ambulance?

      1. wayward4now

        Re: Hmmm...

        "Maybe that's why they called the fire department and not an ambulance?" I bet it was called to have a water cannon salute to the Sword Fish, followed by several minutes of quiet meditation with doffed hats. I wonder if someone is going to take the deceased fish "fallen hero" to a Taxidermist for proper mounting and display in some local pub? Fish and Chips fund-raiser anyone?

  8. chivo243 Silver badge
    IT Angle

    First a stingray

    Now a swordfish. In other news, a tourist is mauled to death by a lion in a South African park....

    1. Anonymous Blowhard

      Re: First a stingray

      And now fish Jesus!

      'Virgin-born' sawfish are a first in the wild

      1. hplasm
        Angel

        Re: And now fish Jesus!

        That explains those fish bumper signs!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: First a stingray

        Nowhere in the bible does it say that Jesus was not a sawfish.

    2. TRT Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: First a stingray

      Was it, in fact, a double of the man who had been surgically altered to look like the chap whilst fleeing the authorities to pursue a life of generating false terrorist treats to keep the paranoia level of the USA high, utilising finds seized from drugs cartels and terrorist organisations? Did it involve a hacker who was unable to operate a keyboard because of the huge adamantite claws in his knuckles, and he was getting a blowie off Halle Berry at the same time?

      1. Lamont Cranston

        @TRT

        Sorry for the downvote, but you made me think about that terrible, terrible film.

    3. Pookietoo

      Re: a tourist is mauled to death

      "Management at the park has described today’s incident as unfortunate and has urged visitors not to leave their windows down."

  9. Evil Auditor

    "He was such a tough guy that everyone's scared of him"

    Not the swordfish though, no it wasn't.

  10. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    "The whole harbour's scared of him."

    The entire harbour? No, one little village fish ...

  11. Trollslayer

    Good for the fish

    I would say he was a shit but that is an insult to fertiliser.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    touché !!

    Perfect example of.....

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: touché !!

      It was a swordfish not a fookin' turtle!!

  13. Graham Bartlett

    "he has such a big heart"

    Made a better target, as it happens.

  14. x 7

    And it was only a small swordfish......the bully got hid desserts. Should have picked on something his own size

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