back to article KFC takes legal axe to eight-legged mutant chicken claims

Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) has filed lawsuit in a Shanghai court claiming that three Chinese companies used social media to spread rumours it had produced a six-winged, eight-legged chicken. Shanxi Weilukuang Technology Company, Taiyuan Zero Point Technology, and Yingchenanzhi Success and Culture Communication stand accused …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah, I see the tactic

    "People are saying our food is shit."

    "Damn, shall we stop making shit food."

    "No. Better idea. We'll stop people saying it's shit".

    I have zero time for KFC, after an unpleasant incident in one of their restaurants (their word) prompted me to complain. Initially, I was impressed they took the time an trouble to reply - via snail mail - to my concerns. However, like their food, this impressive sight became unpalatable once you actually read it.

    It was a 5 paragraph letter. But careful reading revealed it was clearly a "one-letter-to-answer-them-all" template. Just insert <customer name> and <cyclostyled signature>.

    I'll leave it to El Reggers to consider the priorities of a food chain which feels it needed to save time answering complaints.

    1. Pez92

      Re: Ah, I see the tactic

      Apples and oranges. There is a clear line between an opinion, that their food is shit, and slander/libel, that they are using mutant animals, and they crossed it.

    2. g e

      Streisand-tastic

      And no everywhere sees the images too.

      I think they just enormously reinforced their own meme...

  2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese

    Hurting the brand

    Last time I tasted the utter crap that KFC served up, I'd say they were doing enough to damage their brand themselves.

  3. TRT Silver badge

    How the f*** could anyone even believe there's any credibility in the rumour at all is beyond me. Is this going to lead to a real and measurable consequential loss for KFC, which is one of the three kingpins needed for this to go to court?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Centi-Chicken

      Yeah, if this were real, they obviously wouldn't stop at only 8 legs and 6 wings. They'd do something like 100 legs and wings, and make a Centi-Chicken (TM?), or 1000 legs and wings, and make a Milli-Chicken (TM?). Umm, wait a moment; maybe they already have? I'd better go check wikipedia to see if such creatures exist. ;-)

      1. Cosmo
        Coat

        Re: Centi-Chicken

        What about the chicken centipede?

      2. PleebSmash
        Trollface

        Re: Centi-Chicken

        Just grow millipedes and fry those. They taste just like chicken.

      3. hplasm
        Coat

        Re: Centi-Chicken

        "I'd better go check wikipedia to see if such creatures exist. ;-)"

        Surely you need to check on Chickipedia?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's China!

      No where in the world does the "rumor mill" have more willing ears.

      Of course there are damages to KFC but the problem will be getting them to pay in China.

      1. swschrad

        ya, sure, ya betcha then. Sven. Re: It's China!

        a cross between a chicken, a melamine factory, and air you need to slice with a machete to walk through.

    3. JimmyPage
      Mushroom

      How could anyone believe there's any credibility in the rumour ...

      Well, people believe in sky fairies granting wishes, which frankly takes more suspension of intelligence.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: How could anyone believe there's any credibility in the rumour ...

        "Well, people believe in sky fairies granting wishes, which frankly takes more suspension of intelligence."

        I dunno. I say a quick prayer before tucking into a KFC...

    4. Rick Brasche

      people "believe" a lot of stuff.

      check Facebook for examples. Chemtrails, military government conspiracies to create mind control vaccines, weather control, HAARP, you name it.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeah, 'cause everyone knows they sell more wings than any other part of the chickens. I wanna know who mutated chickens to get boneless wings!

      For my future sins, I was born allergic to birds. For once now, I count it a blessing.

    6. Charles Manning

      Many people believe all sorts of bullshit.

      That is particularly true in places like China where there is close to zero press freedom and where rumour is often a more reliable source than anything else.

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not only that,

      no one knows what they tastle like as no one has managed to catch one of the octo legged buggers..

    8. Squander Two

      This is actually less crazy than most of the stuff people believe about genetic modification.

    9. Dave 15 Silver badge

      And that is precisely why...

      The stupidity of KFCs claim is beyond me.

      We need to stop this stupidity, the Americans (and recently the British) seem to think they need to sue someone for everything from a stubbed toenail to injured pride.

      IT is pathetic and only a strong reaction from the courts will stop it. At the very least I would want PROOF (not hearsay but real proof) that there was ANY change in KFC sales anywhere in the world that had a PROVEN link to this particular rumour. When they can't (and they can't) then charge KFC something like their years turnover as a fine for wasting the courts time.

  4. The last doughnut
    Facepalm

    What can anyone say about food that is served in a bucket?

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Pint

      Gigerchicken will see you now!

      It's finger-licking good?

    2. Small Furry Animal
      Pint

      "What can anyone say about food that is served in a bucket?"

      There's bugger all wrong with a Balti...

      ...Beer (just because)

    3. TRT Silver badge

      What can anyone say about food that is served in a bucket?

      Make sure that the quail eggs are on top and I'll have a double helping of pâté?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fried

    the KFC thing came about because of the health food/obesity thing because people don't want to be reminded that the F stands for fried.

    Yes, people are that stupid. On average.

    1. Preston Munchensonton
      Coat

      Re: Fried

      I always prefer the George Carlin explanation:

      "Think about how dumb the average person is and then realize that half the fuckers are stupider than that."

      1. The last doughnut

        Re: Fried

        He meant median, But "Think about how dumb the median person is ... " isn't quite so catchy.

  6. AbelSoul
    Trollface

    All of my life

    I've been lickin'

    Your mutant legs

    'Coz they're made of chicken

    Oh boy.....

  7. peyton?

    You can apply for Nobel prizes?

    Notice how the spokesman doesn't actually deny that they are working on an 8-legged chicken. They just haven't produced one *yet*.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: You can apply for Nobel prizes?

      Quite frankly, I want one as soon as they're available. Fantastic talking point here in the village, and then chicken legs for all.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: You can apply for Nobel prizes?

        "Fantastic talking point here in the village, and then chicken legs for all."

        But, you'd have to catch it first!

      2. Squander Two

        Re: You can apply for Nobel prizes?

        I'm happy to see that KFC's spokesman has a sense of humour. But I'd have been still happier if they'd said, "What? You mean you're still using the old stringy flavourless four-limbed versions? With HEADS? Yuk."

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: You can apply for Nobel prizes?

      They originally tried splicing in some homeobox genes from an octopus, but the result... well let's just say that they sold the tech to Greece and they're doing very nicely on the calamari exports now.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But

    How would they catch them.

    1. Tromos

      Re: But

      Breed them selectively for four legs in opposition to the other four. That'll sort out catching the buggers!

  9. John Gamble
  10. st4yr4d
    Alert

    ITS THE POULTRYGEIST

  11. Bernard M. Orwell

    Seems oddly familiar...

    ...shades of Oryx and Crake.

    1. Hollerith 1

      Re: Seems oddly familiar...

      Yes, my first thought. Margaret Atwood has been prescient about a number of things; I certainly hope her future won't materialise, but...

  12. Rick Brasche

    just like anti vaxxers, 9-11 truthers and chemtrail believers

    I have a crazy uncle who posts this sort of thing. He can easily apply "logic and science" to any religious belief he happens to hate, but can't apply it to anything like mutant chickens, chemtrails, or government conspiracies to vaccinate us against WTC bombings or whatever.

    The evil Military can do anything and is under direct control of the President, except when it's "his" President, then that Prez knows nothing of the vast conspiracies under his watch...but my crazy uncle knows The Truth that the "super intelligent" President cannot find out or something.

    KFC, I can take or leave it. El Pollo Loco, surprisingly (when you find a site managed properly, its worth it) is better.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: just like anti vaxxers, 9-11 truthers and chemtrail believers

      Los Pollos Hermanos?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eight legs and six wings?

    "What does it taste like?"

    "Dunno, never managed to catch one."

    An old joke, but a good one.

  14. Mage Silver badge

    Typical USA Corporate

    Yum foods have no sense of humour.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Typical USA Corporate

      Yum update food!

  15. sjsmoto

    So: Mutant chicken bad, reanimating dead Colonel Sanders good.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      For your'alls enlightenment:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkdci55adqk

      "Ghost Chickens in the Sky"

  16. Haku
    Trollface

    KFC in China ?

    If the internet rumours are true that Chinese eay anything, how can we be absolutely sure it's even chicken, mutant or not, they're serving over there?

    1. PunkTiger
      Joke

      Re: KFC in China ?

      Well, they could bring the argument to the whole stereotypical conclusion and say they're serving cat. That joins in nicely with why they changed their name from "Kentucky Fried Chicken" to "KFC."

  17. AndyFl
    Mushroom

    Key to prosperity

    Of course a cynic would say that KFC are ticked off because someone has discovered how they manage to make huge profits. Cost per leg or wing drops dramatically when each fowl (probably foul too) has more than normal.

    Ho hum

  18. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    The red flag

    Well, for me the biggest red flag here would be, legs and dark meat are already priced lower than the other pieces, they are simply not as popular (I don't know why, I think the dark meat's the best part.) If anything, any chicken mods would be to make them have bigger breasts.

    1. stucs201

      Re: If anything, any chicken mods would be to make them have bigger breasts.

      Silicone implants? I think that may be taking artificial additives in food too far...

      1. skeptical i
        Devil

        Re: If anything, any chicken mods would be to make them have bigger breasts.

        Melamine in the milk was part of the iterative design and testing process, cleverly disguised as a one-off rogue incident.

        KFC need to heed some advice from Oscar Wilde: "What's worse than people talking about you? People not talking about you."

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The red flag

      They've already bred chickens to have humongous breasts. Apparently those varieties are so unhealthy they require antibiotics for their entire ~2 month lives. Mmmmmm.

      1. x 7

        Re: The red flag

        /dreamon They've already bred women round here to have humongous breasts. Apparently they are so unhealthy they require massage for their entire lives. Mmmmmm. /dreamoff

  19. swschrad

    there are three legged chickens, I am told...

    problem is, nobody has been able to catch one to see if they taste good.

  20. Chrissy

    Spitting Image?

    Why don't they try suing the writers of the Spitting Image book circa 1986 or thereabouts? I'm sure I remember a parody article in it about a "company" creating an 8 legged chicken, but one that also shat BBQ Beans.

  21. Six_Degrees

    This claim is obvious bullshit. Everyone knows 4 legs and 4 wings is the upper limit, and that KFC refers to them as "4x4"s.

  22. Christoph

    Nonsense. What they're really working on is de-evolving them to dinosaurs, so they can grow really big and be much more economical.

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. x 7

    I scored a win once when my stepson (then aged 7) asked me what "KFC" stood for......the off-the-cuff answer was "Kompletely fucked chicken....." Given that we'd brought him up from birth to believe that McDonalds was really called "Fat Donalds", we did a pretty good job of putting him off fast food for a very long time.

  25. Little Mouse

    Sounds like I'm the only one...

    - but I actually like a greasy KFC now and then.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Little Mouse...

      You're not alone. You're just the first brave enough to admit it. I rather enjoy the drumsticks, macaroni & cheese, an ear of corn, & a couple of fluffy biscuits. Failing that, I'll buy a massive order of their "popcorn chicken" & watch my dog go bonkers as I fling munchies around the yard for her to devour. =-)p

      And just for the record, my favorite KFC joke was always: Yo' Mama so fat that when she goes to KFC & they ask her what size bucket she wants, she points up & says Da One On Da Roof!

      I'll get my coat, it's the one with the pockets full of mashed potatos & gravy...

    2. Squander Two

      Re: Sounds like I'm the only one...

      I fucking love KFC. So nerr.

  26. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Meh

    Meh!

    Not used any of the fast food outlets for years. Much prefer a nice pub meal if I'm eating out.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    FCK!

    KFC is still a thing?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pet peeve with junk food

    Menu board image: Perfectly made and presented food item.

    Reality: Slop served in cardboard.

  29. Christian Berger

    I wonder when they will find out about...

    "Kentucky schreit Ficken" (Kentucky screams f*ck), a segment in the popular long gone show "RTL Samstag Nacht Live".

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A little diitty - copyright the internet.

    Did you ever think, when you eat Chinese,

    It aint pork or chicken, but a fat Siamese.

    But the food tastes great, so you dont complain,

    But thats not chicken in your chicken chow mien.

    I think I ordered sweet and sour pork, but Garfield's on my fork,

    He's purring here on my fork!!!

    (go look for "catfood.wav")

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: A little diitty - copyright the internet.

      Unlucky Fried Kitten.

    2. Pedigree-Pete

      Re: A little diitty - copyright the internet.

      A Chinese take-away near here is known as The Rat & Cat. Who knows.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: A little diitty - copyright the internet.

        I've seen one called The Noodle Poodle before.

  31. mrbawsaq

    Cluckin Bell

    Reminds me of the Cluckin Bell radio advert from Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.

    We shrink their heads and we breed em' fast!

    6 wings, 40 breasts and then they're gassed!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7R5CcNJl0U

  32. Chris Holford
    Alien

    Chickin Lickin

    Must re-read "The Space Merchants" by Frederick Pohl and C .M. Kornbluth (1953). It's a great satire on consumer society and includes a giant blob of tissue cultured chicken.

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