back to article What sort of tit builds non-bird bird boxes? Vodafone

Vodafone is installing mobile cell sites in bird boxes, although our feathered friends will not be allowed inside. The company has form in providing improved coverage for avians, with special care taken to look after nesting falcons. The new bird box is a signal repeater, something only the licenced networks are allowed to …

  1. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    Has someone been egging them on?

  2. Evil Auditor
    Joke

    Just go for homing pigeons. Latency sucks but it offers excellent throughput.

    1. DJV Silver badge

      ...and a tasty snack afterwards!

    2. Otto is a bear.

      The roof of my car bares testimony to the throughput of the local pigeons, spectacular when compared to Vodaphone or O2.

      The quicker this is rolled out the better, but with the rate rural pub are closing, there won't be many left. Local community centres, clubs and schools would be a better bet.

      I'd also bet that you'll need more than one in each village. Perhaps this could be the saviour of rural phone boxes.

      1. Crazy Operations Guy
        Joke

        RE: "throughput of the local pigeons"

        Yeah, but the coverage is shit.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Too late, vast majority are gone.

    3. David Robinson 1

      RFC 1149

      A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers

      https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149

  3. Paul Mitchell

    Aerial?

    "The bird box end is passive, so does not require any power, while the transmitting antennas are powered from the garage."

    So it's an aerial then?

    Also, why does it have to look like a *bird* box, surely a plain wooden box would blend in just as well?

    1. PassingStrange

      Re: Aerial?

      "Also, why does it have to look like a *bird* box, surely a plain wooden box would blend in just as well?"

      I guess the logic is that (a) we're sufficiently used to seeing "bird boxes" that another one won't look out of place, (b) they'll be able to sell people on the idea of being paid to have one on the side of their houses because, cynically, it looks like they're being nature-friendly, and (c) they'll be less likely to attract "unwelcome" attention if casual observers don't realise what they are.

  4. iLuddite

    improving cell coverage

    Yes, improving cell coverage is a worthy calling, but at church? I see heads bowed down...over the 'phones. Will this help facebook keep a bird's eye on its religious competitors ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Go

      Re: improving cell coverage

      Churches have a habit of being the highest point in a village.

      1. iLuddite

        Re:re: improving cell coverage

        An informative reply, thanks. In my area, rural churches tend to be small, centered in town for a sense of closeness, and the congregations tend towards fundamentalism(not tech-friendly). The idea of repeaters on a church is therefore less intuitive, but more fun.

    2. Suricou Raven

      Re: improving cell coverage

      Churches have long doubled as antenna towers. They are usually the tallest building for some distance around, and are already built and connected to power and phone lines. It's cheaper to rent a cupboard at the top of the tower than to construct and cable a purpose-built mast.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: improving cell coverage

        First church towers, then birdboxes. Is that what they mean by "operating on a wing and a prayer"?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It pays well, but...

        At a church where I was once a bell-ringer, Vodafone (or their contractors) made such a mess of the tower with their installation that our tower secretary drafted a letter to them that concluded "Could it be that Vodafone have succeeded where Cromwell and the Vikings failed?"

        I suspect that the clergy may have toned the letter down before sending it.

        The tower nearly wrecked a horrible vengeance on an antenna contractor who didn't follow the instructions to contact the ringers before working in the bellchamber instead of just letting themselves in; they went under the tenor (the heaviest bell, in this case weighing about a ton) while it was "up" (poised ready to swing down).

      3. razorfishsl

        Re: improving cell coverage

        Finally a direct line to Jesus....

    3. Test Man

      Re: improving cell coverage

      "Yes, improving cell coverage is a worthy calling, but at church? I see heads bowed down...over the 'phones"

      Yeah, cos phones are the only device that needs wifi or mobile coverage... *facepalm*

  5. Alan Brown Silver badge

    meh

    We've been trying to get the cellcos interested in filling our notspot for ages (up to and including offering them roof space to park antennas). Zero interest.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm surprised church's would allow this kind of thing. Now they have to compete with an invisible power that actually works

  7. akeane
    Childcatcher

    I don't see why...

    ... my hard earned mobile subscription should be used to provide free housing to a bunch of freeloading avian scroungers!!!

  8. Don Constance

    Blend in?

    If they really wanted to make it blend in to the rural landscape they could just put it in a bright red burglar alarm box ;-)

  9. razorfishsl

    This is fantastic news.......

    No longer do I need to carry a lunch picnic box...

    Vodaphone are installing pre-stocked microwave ovens...

    Pheasant anyone?

  10. Erlang Lacod

    "which runs to the garage of the house where the tester lives." Why is he tester compelled to live in a garage ?

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