back to article The yummy mummies' likeable wagon: Nissan Qashqai Tekna

The favoured steed of yummy mummies, Nissan's Qashqai, has become quite a hit. And it’s something that ticks all the boxes – high driving position, looks cool, eco credentials. All this is the kind of thing which would normally lead me to regard the car with caution; something which was all fluff and no substance. Particularly …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Any chance of a photo of the car in your car reviews?

    something like this:

  2. david bates

    Seeing as

    Nissan and Renault are pretty much the same group these days I surprised that the NCAP rating came as a surprise...

  3. Chronos


    In this case, the Kumquat Takeaway. Datsun has two roles: Firstly it produces the GT-R, as pure a driver's car as was ever made and secondly it produces its other models specifically to allow normal road users to know where all the bellends and school-run scrapers are so they can be avoided. They should put Nissan badges on the wings so you know it's going to pull out on you at the junction and you can take evasive action and do all the driving for them. Again.

    Audi performs a similar function. Audis also have the patented spatial expansion windscreens that allow the driver to think they're obeying the two second rule while actually being a fag paper from your trumpet. Detecting the four rings of no confidence in your rear-view camera and flashing up a warning well in advance would be a useful addition for motorway driving...

    Okay, I'm generalising, but it's Sunday. Have you been out there today? Christ, it's like the annual general meeting of the blind halfwit bodywork-benders society.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Kumquat

      The KashKai has the opposite of the Audi's spatial expander - drivers seem to think they are far wider than the cars actually are.

      1. Steve Loughran

        Re: Kumquat

        this is actually a documented phenomenon of the raised seating position of this and other vehicles: you get a bigger blindspot to the sides and that changes your expectations.

        here in inner Bristol anyone with functional wingmirrors is viewed as being in a position of weakness when it comes to negotiating proirities in narrow roads; the trend towards fatter cars -both oncoming and parked- makes things worse. Quashquai drivers don't appear any worse than any other "urban SUV" driver, whatever that means

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Kumquat - "the trend towards fatter cars"

          Cars are fatter to protect the occupants in the increasing number of accidents due to the cars being fatter. Have you looked at a Mégane these days? The NCAP rating comes at the expense of needing a warning vehicle up front and a police escort.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Kumquat

      It's kinda tragic that you classify people according to the cars they drive, instead of their actual behaviour. Not everyone has the option of choice. I have met courteous drives in Audis and total morons in Mercedes. I have even come across drivers who still knew what lane discipline was (the *real* problem on busy roads IMHO - it only takes one lorry a mile ahead to prompt a mass move into premature overtaking), but I must admit that was a while back, and not in the UK.

      1. hplasm

        Re: Kumquat

        "...classify people according to the cars they drive..."

        But it does save time, and is wierdly accurate...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Four rings of no confidence"

      I prefer the term "Olympic Rings Of Twattery"

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. x 7

    I though the name was pronounced "cash-cow"

    1. swampdog

      It is here.

      1. kmac499

        I misread it as the Yummy Mummy Nissan CashCow Tenna..

        BTW Had a ride in a mates Peugeot with a reversing camera on it over the weekend. My comment was, the last time I saw anything like that it was in FireFox and Clint Eastwood wa driving\flying it...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought the wording on the engine read 'dog turd nissan' and was about to congratulate the manufacturer on their honesty. Oh well.

    1. swampdog

      You are right about the DTN model.

      I have never followed one that isn't 10 miles under the speed limit. I have never seen a fit bird in one either. Wrinklies like me mostly.

  6. Doogs

    Customer Service?

    I've seen a few owner reviews where they've had pretty terrible customer service when their new Kumquat went wrong (mostly electrical, if I recall correctly). Weeks at the stealer, with the problem still there when they finally get it back, that sort of thing.

    I was quite interested in it until I saw those; put me right off.

    Can anyone corroborate/refute this?

    Another interesting looking vehicle is the soon-to-be released Honda HR-V "sub-compact crossover". Specs/price seem a little too good to be true, maybe?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Customer Service?

      "Can anyone corroborate/refute this?"

      Both. This household runs two Nissans, and the dealer service is expensive, and most of the dealers are rubbish - for work reasons I used a range of different dealers spread across the Midlands. A newer dealer (Arbury) has been much better for customer service, but still expensive.

      And on the basis of our experience, Nissans are highly reliable (as in not breaking down on the road) but have far too many iffy quality parts. So our old model Qashqai had new brake disks under warranty, new shock absorbers under warranty, a track rod end under warranty, a broken interior door pull under warranty, and outside of warranty a safety recall for replacement of a low pressure fuel pump (list price a staggering £440, but done at Nissan's expense). This car is comfortable and nice to drive and was good value when bought, but I won't be buying another Nissan because of the expensive and mostly poor dealers, and because you end up seeing too much of them due to all the stuff that breaks.

      1. x 7

        Re: Customer Service?

        Somewhat gob-smacked by the number of "warranty" repairs

        what went wrong with the brake disks? premature wear? If you don't mind me saying so, that combined with the track rod end and suspension very much sounds like the car had taken a asymmetric high-speed knock on a speed bump or similar, sending the front steering out of alignment.

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Customer Service?

        Nissan is aware of the problems with dealerships and has pulled a couple of franchises in the past.

        The problem is that the franchise network is so entrenched that it's impossible to reassign it to someone else. In the end they had to give them back to the same franchises despite the ongoing problems.

        (Hint: Don't ever let the Nissan franchise in Epsom "service" your car.)

        Thankfully there's no legal requirement in the uk for service during the warranty period to be performed at the dealership. Despite posturing to the contrary this won't invalidate your warranty.

        WTR iffy parts, the other big problem with Nissan (and other makes) is that a minor part failure in an assembly can often only be fixed by replacing the entire assembly. The power steering in my Primera was a classic example - popped O-ring on the input shaft resulted in a £1400 quote for a new assembly(£800) and installation(£600) - whilst a reconditioning firm took the thing out, refurbed and reinstalled for £650 - I pointed this out to the stealership and the response was that they're not authorised to make that kind of repair even if the staff are perfectly aware of the service and qualified to do it.

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. x 7

    only suitable car for a yummy mummy is a passion waggon.

    Does this qualify? Does the back seat have enough room?

    1. swampdog

      She don't need to lay down chap. Modern girls pass their exams standing.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    got one

    You can, and Mrs. did, get a 4x4 version. It works quite well as muddy fields of Donnington can assert (while others were dragged out by tractor.)

  9. Bassey

    Not just the Qashqai

    Nissan are just making bloody good cars at the moment. Two of "The Wife"'s last three cars have been Nissans. An Almera and an X-Trail. Both were eminently practical and really quite good fun to drive too. Neither of them ever broke down and they only got replaced due to changes in circumstances. A friend is the senior local traffic copper - the one that gets to drive the serious VIPs when they visit and so gets sent on all the advanced driving courses. He and his wife have owned only Nissans for the last ten years or so - including a Qashqai each, at one point.

    I do wish they'd bring back the curry hook from the Almera though - that was a work of genius!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    It's not entirely hideous - has Nissan finally stopped making blobby cars with the look and charm of cane toads?

    Now if they can only kill off each and every one of Nissan Jukes (rhymes with pukes), the world will be a better place. It's hard to imagine, but it must have happened, that people go into Nissan dealers and look at the Juke with its bulging lights and strangely inflated lines and say 'YES! That's what I've been looking for all my life.'

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cannibalistic X-Trail

    I recently bought a late face-lift version X-Trail T41 to replace early T41.

    I need the square backside for getting bicycles in. A practical shape.

    The new X-Trail to my eyes looks very very similar to Qashqai, so much so they will be competing against each other? Don't understand it.

    I don't need or want to size up to a Pathfinder or Patrol, so when my latest T41 due to be replaced not sure what I will go for.

    As regards issues, my first T41 was faultless.

    Quiet, comfortable and cornering body roll nearer a car than many 4x4.

    My local Nissan dealer has been spot on with factory updates (engine firmware etc.) too.

    Been over farm fields and lanes with Landrover Disco and survived - in fact tighter turning circle came up trumps in tight lanes.

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      Re: Cannibalistic X-Trail

      "The new X-Trail to my eyes looks very very similar to Qashqai, so much so they will be competing against each other?"

      As +2 version of Qashqai disappeared from the lineup, new X-Trail had to fill that niche. Basically it's a blend of old X-Trail and Q+2.

      About 10 inches longer than normal Q, has 7 seats, and 4WD (which +2 didn't have).

  12. Gene Cash Silver badge
    IT Angle


    I guess as will be going under soon, I'll be seeing more car reviews on IT sites.

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