back to article Tattooed skin befuddles Apple Watch

Apple has confirmed that, yes indeed, its Watch gizmo does not work well on tattooed skin. The Cupertino goliath published a support page acknowledging that dark ink can prevent the pulse reader and other sensors on the watch from gathering data. This knackers health and fitness apps, and can cause the expensive wristslab to …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    not that big a problem

    You're just wearing it wrong.

    1. Bob Vistakin
      Facepalm

      Re: not that big a problem

      That's one theory, but there are others.

    2. x 7

      Re: not that big a problem

      "You're just wearing it wrong."

      What you mean is....." just wearing it is wrong."

  2. MotionCompensation

    Dark skin?

    So, does it work on very dark skinned people? Or are they not part of the target demographic?

    1. Graham Marsden
      Joke

      Re: Dark skin?

      They can't afford to buy it and any of them seen wearing one must obviously have stolen it and is therefore a fair target...

      1. Martin Summers Silver badge

        Re: Dark skin?

        "They can't afford to buy it and any of them seen wearing one must obviously have stolen it and is therefore a fair target..."

        Graham, it's very worrying but your down voters appear to think you are being overtly racist. I suggest you apologise profusely for daring to make unfortunately often accurate social commentary.

        1. Trigonoceps occipitalis

          Re: Dark skin?

          I agree wholeheartedly. Had the words " and is therefore a fair target..." been omitted the it is quite clearly a racist comment. With them it is a comment on how some of us cannot think beyond racial stereotypes. Perhaps just cannot think.

      2. x 7

        Re: Dark skin?

        "any of them seen wearing one must obviously have stolen it......"

        Why the joke alert?

        1. Martin Summers Silver badge

          Re: Dark skin?

          "Why the joke alert?"

          Careful now. Pitchforks hurt.

        2. Graham Marsden
          Facepalm

          Re: Dark skin?

          > Why the joke alert?

          Seriously??

          Paging Constable Savage...

    2. Jordan Davenport

      Re: Dark skin?

      I imagine it's more to do with the metallic pigments used in tattoos interfering with the sensors as opposed to melanin. Surely the R&D department thought enough to test it on non-white people, even if they didn't think to test it on people with heavy tattoos.

      1. phil dude
        Boffin

        Re: Dark skin?

        I posted on another thread the science behind this.

        P.

  3. Haku

    Tattoo removal services will start cashing in on this little problem by offering to remove the small patch of offending ink at a discount price in 3..2...

    1. x 7

      new service option in Apple stores - skin bleaching, and lazer tattoo burning.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To quote R. Reagan, "There you go again."

    Headline: "... crap wriststrap ... "

    Article: "... we're hesitant to brand it a 'flop' ..."

    Guys, guys, guys: at least get your interminable Apple-bashing synchronized, m'kay?

    1. bazza Silver badge

      Re: To quote R. Reagan, "There you go again."

      "Guys, guys, guys: at least get your interminable Apple-bashing synchronized, m'kay?"

      I think you're missing the point...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: To quote R. Reagan, "There you go again."

      Crapple bashing is SOP around here. Please get on tune.

      Yours,

      Register Apple Bashers (RAB's)

    3. MrDamage

      Re: To quote R. Reagan, "There you go again."

      > Article: "... we're hesitant to brand it a 'flop' ..."

      That's because El Reg are patiently waiting for the back-orders to be filled, and more moaning from the heavily tattooed hipsters, before they thoroughly announce it as a flop. Until then, they can just report on it being a piece of useless tat that probably won't service their marketing demographic.

      1. Steven Raith

        Re: To quote R. Reagan, "There you go again."

        Something can be crap without being a flop.

        See Transformers movies, The X Factor and Vauxhall Corsas.

        Steven R

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Breen Whitman

    > sticky nob...

    1. returnmyjedi

      There's a cream for that.

  6. VinceH

    From a post on the first page of the linked 'sticky nob' discussion:

    "But I decided to send back now. Will be interesting test to see how much I miss it."

    How can someone 'miss' something he has only had for ridiculously short amount of time?

    Makes me wonder if the sticky nob problem is referring to the nob attached to the watch, or the nob attached to the watch.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dangerous headline

    Tried to read the headline loudly, nearly tied my tongue in a knot. I learnt not to rear El Reg with a hangover.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Dangerous headline

        You are right, I should have waited a few hours to READ and to COMMENT.

  8. x 7

    should be "sticky knob...."

    a "nob" is either a posh git or a Dorset biscuit

    1. Sarah Balfour

      Correction

      Dorset Knob, if you please.

      SJ's filthy mind strikes again (from Wikipedia)

      A Dorset knob throwing competition is held in the Dorset village of Cattistock every year on the first Sunday in May. The festival also includes such events as a knob and spoon race, knob darts, knob painting and guess the weight of the knob. The record throw of 29.4 metres (96 ft) was set in 2012.*

      Wikipedia articles aren't supposed to make you PMSL - that's what Uncyclopedia's for.

      *yes I know it's Wikipedia, but it's 100% true.

      From the Beeb, on this year's festivities:.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-32549090 - it's an innuendo writer's wet dream.

      Evidently, the reporter isn't from - and has probably never been to - Dorset.

      Happy Knob Day.

      1. x 7

        Re: Correction

        Cattistock has a fox hunt as well. Try saying "Cattistock Hunt" when you're pissed

  9. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Understandable

    Not Apple's fault. The watch is meant to work with unadorned skin, so wouldn't work over a shirt sleeve either. The tattoo-sleeved folk can wear the watch on their other wrist, around their ankle, or just accept that sometimes one set of life choices precludes other sets and move on. But what they need to do first is stop whinging, because, ultimately no-one cares.

    1. Ilmarinen946

      Re: Understandable

      "The tattoo-sleeved folk can wear the watch on their other wrist, around their ankle..."

      http://theshipleys.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/ankle-bracelet.jpg

      What if their ankle isn't available?

    2. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: Understandable

      The tattoo-sleeved folk can wear the watch...around their ankle

      I'm pretty sure that Apple's target demographic doesn't include too many people under house arrest, though it may offer them a growth market.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thug Mode

    When tattoo sleeves are detected, iWatch moves into Thug Mode (tm).

    Hi there, it appears you are a thug. Please wait while iWatch reconfigures itself..

    ..

    All done. Since iWatch cannot monitor your heart rate, it will now monitor recoil from handgun firing. iWatch has replaced the HeartRate App with Firing Rate App. From your Apple Pay purchase history we have determined you own an H&K .40cal USP, the Taptic Engine has modified its sensitivity to apply to that weapon's recoil.

    New! Share your ammo count with fellow thugs! Running low on ammo and more cops on the way? Send a quick Yo! to fellow thugs in your area to call for reinforcements, all without putting your gun down!

  11. Nanners

    Apple fan here

    it's a flop. Told you from the start. It became obvious when apple started hiring ex m$ coders.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re - backorder to June ..

    cynical me thinks it is synced to the ebay price.

    Success is all down to perception so the ebay price is all that matters.

    And at least you can offload them on ebay after a week of realising they are more pain than joy.

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