back to article Love-rat fanboi left bobbing for Apples in tiny Japanese bath

A Japanese love-rat's misdeeds have left him, and his iGizmos, in hot water. His scorned lover seems to have taken issue with his flirting with another woman and suffered a bit of a kernel panic, attacking her fanboi where it would hurt most – his beloved collection of overpriced blahware – before compounding his humiliation …

  1. Mike Bell

    Glug

    The white gadget is an 'Airport' wireless router with internal backup disk.

  2. Antonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    Holy Shit! So much Holy Shit!

    Suppose she had to defend herself from the likelihood of the slimy toad splaffing "revenge porn" all over the interwebs... once splaffed, can never be unsplaffed. It was the ONLY way to be sure!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Holy Shit! So much Holy Shit!

      "Suppose she had to defend herself from the likelihood of the slimy toad splaffing "revenge tentacle porn" all over the interwebs"

      TFTFY. This is Japan after all.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let us know what you can identify

    A bath.

    No idea what the stuff in it is.

    And are you sure nothing was lost in translation, that script looks over whelming. Maybe it's a new website - Does it rust?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Let us know what you can identify

      Does it float?

      1. VinceH
        Boffin

        Re: Let us know what you can identify

        I can't remember if they covered Apples in the "Which Fruit Floats" section on Brainiac, featuring Professor Myang Li. They probably did.

    2. Martin Budden Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Let us know what you can identify

      No idea what the stuff in it is.

      Mostly water.

  4. Mark 85 Silver badge

    I see....wet stuff.

    Maybe it can be dried out, maybe not. I guess they'll be waiting for him and his credit card at the Apple Store for him to buy new stuff.

    1. Steve Button

      Re: I see....wet stuff.

      Although he's a graphic designer (who now has thousands of twitter followers). Could this be photoshopped?

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: I see....wet stuff.

        Anything can be Photoshopped. Question is, would it be easier to Photoshop or to buy some broken iThings ("Spares or Repairs") off eBay and dunk them in the bath?

    2. tony2heads

      Re: I see....wet stuff.

      If you really want to screw with wet electronics

      Add a touch of salt and maybe some fruit juice (acid & sugar)

  5. Jim 59

    ...his beloved collection of overpriced blahware

    Lol. P G Wodehouse could not have put it better.

    Pay rise for Mr Martin.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Andy Taylor

        Re: his beloved collection of overpriced blahware

        I'd like to see you try running Windows on a PowerBook, you need an Intel CPU for Windows.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: his beloved collection of overpriced blahware

          I can never remember the different names of the Apple laptop products, they're so interchangeable. Apparently I meant a Macbook Pro.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: his beloved collection of overpriced blahware

            "I can never remember the different names of the Apple laptop products, they're so interchangeable."

            I sympathize. It's incredibly hard for anyone but a diehard fanboi to tell the difference between (e.g.) a Macintosh Portable and a MacBook Air.

        2. jfw25

          Re: his beloved collection of overpriced blahware

          > I'd like to see you try running Windows on a PowerBook,

          I had no trouble at all running Windows on my Bondi Blue iMac, back in the days when Apple laptops were branded as "Powerbook"... (Courtesy of VirtualPC, of course. I was even able to use it to test a kernel-mode network driver I was working on...)

        3. NumptyScrub

          Re: his beloved collection of overpriced blahware

          I'd like to see you try running Windows on a PowerBook, you need an Intel CPU for Windows.

          Well, except the ARM builds of Windows (various Windows Phone / Windows CE versions, Windows 8 RT, Windows 10 for Pi) which don't require an Intel CPU. ;)

          Windows 10 for Pi is by far the most bizarre press release I've seen from MS yet...

  6. Oor Nonny-Muss
    Coat

    Can I be the first to say "What a Siri™ boy" :)

    1. PNGuinn
      Boffin

      @Can I be the first to say "What a Siri™ boy" :)

      NO.

  7. emmanuel goldstein

    Lucky she found out now. Another few days and his brand new iStrapOn would have been in the drink too.

  8. Captain Hogwash

    Wow!

    Tell me more about the bath. What are the dimensions? Where are the taps? What's that strange lid type thing at the narrow end? Is it really an enormous bidet? Are these available in Blighty?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wow!

      Put it this way: it could be a Japanese bath, or it could be a US bidet.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Wow!

        As someone who used regularly to attend KBIS, I have to say the US does not get bidets.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wow!

      The tap is probably next to the bath (in such a way that it's outside the frame) and can be swiveled over the bath. Allows the user to fill a bucket or the bath easily.

      The strange lid type thing is in fact a lid for the tub. I assume they're expected to keep dust and debris out--especially if the family is planning on reusing the water rather than discarding it after each use. Japanese use the tub for soaking (like a hot tub) rather than for washing, so it's expected to be reasonably clean for the next family member.

  9. El_Fev

    Easy one for the Police

    Open and shut cae of criminal damage , hope she likes prison!

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

      Re: Easy one for the Police

      Agree it is technically criminal damage, unless she can show she owned the devices jointly. Still has to make it through the prosecutors, courts etc before ending in prison. Some kind of community rehab order seems more likely tbh. If it even gets that far.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Easy one for the Police

        You do realise we are talking Japan here. They have game shows that inflict more psychological torture on the contestants than this young lady did on her cheating partner.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Given the ultrasensitivity of the moisture detectors in some of Apples stuff she probably invalidity a heap of warranties just by taking the stuff into the bathroom.

  11. PNGuinn
    Go

    Technically very interesting

    From those pictures I deduce:

    Apple monitors are soluble. In exactly what is not made clear. Enquiring minds need to know.

    When they dissolve they spawn a variety of new devices. How quickly these need to be removed from the birthing tank / bath before they "drown" is not stated. Enquiring minds need to know.

    The process seems to result in the production of a certain amount of scum. Perhaps enquiring minds do not need to know....

    1. Antonymous Coward
      Holmes

      Re: Technically very interesting

      How intriguingly similar to gremlins. A most interesting deduction.

      As for the scum, I believe that's almost ubiquitously associated from around the time of purchase. Perhaps the proliferation attracts more?

  12. kmac499

    Shakespeare was right..

    As it's the Bards' birthday his observation that

    "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

    comes to mind.. I don't think Will needed to add the scorned bit myself.

    1. Tim99 Silver badge

      Re: Shakespeare was right..

      Please celebrate Shakespeare's birthday, but the quotation is "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned - Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, 1697

  13. Michael Thibault

    Couldn't imagine why the objets weren't dropped from a great height instead. I guess it's down to culture or the individual. Bad, but not too bad--almost genteel.

    However, a dunking like that is not likely to get attention that will endear you to someone. Nor, it seems, get a rise out of them, as the victim seems to be taking it in stride... in the direction of a cold shower, possibly, then probably off to the dog house. Or to a friend's house for a commiseration session.

  14. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    How do you pronounce the thing that looks like a shed with an owl on the roof?

  15. skeptical i
    Devil

    Stovetop pot not big enough.

    She tried to duplicate the rabbit scene from _Fatal Attraction_, couldn't get all the gear into the stockpot, went for the tub instead. Now the rubber ducky has stuff to play with, at least.

  16. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge
    Joke

    At least one problem is solved...

    The batteries won't drain so quickly.

    1. Martin Budden Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: At least one problem is solved...

      The batteries won't drain at all, they're too big to fit down the hole.

  17. Parash2

    Strange

    Wee bit off topic, a neighbour me asked to solve a printing issue, it seems her son had installed XP with SP3 on her Apple computer! It actually ran quite well.

    Still left me baffled.

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