back to article Google’s plan for WORLD DOMINATION takes shape. And it begins with a patent

Google has been awarded a patent related to systems and methods for "allocating tasks to a plurality of robotic devices". Sprawled across its Mountain View base, the Chocolate Factory hivemind may indeed be plotting world domination, but for the moment it is at least conscious of the need to collaborate with the state in …

  1. Ralph B

    Who needs a robot army?

    Who needs a robot army when you could employ a fleet of Google driverless vehicles packed with explosives?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    I'm impressed.

    Work-Force Management for Robots.

    How novel.

    Next same patents but for autonomous Taxis, Lorrys, trains and so on.

    1. JustNiz

      Re: I'm impressed.

      Computer-controlled taxis lorries and trains would likely already come under the definition of a robot.

      1. launcap Silver badge

        Re: I'm impressed.

        > Computer-controlled taxis lorries and trains

        Even the London Underground - especially when they used carboard punch-card to control things..

        (And lets not forget DLR - one of my brothers helped write the early sinalling and control stuff for that. Probably one of the reasons I never use it..)

    2. Jes.e

      Re: I'm impressed.

      "Next same patents but for autonomous Taxis, Lorrys, trains and so on."

      As another poster pointed out.. already covered.

      Your robot taxi has a limited supply of charge/fuel along with more infrequent regular servicing.

      That's essentially what this patent does. But cars are just a subset..

      A factory automatically building custom articles also has feedstock, transportation, storage, and lifecycle/health of machines to consider.

      Very forward looking of Google.

      1. Matt 21

        Re: I'm impressed.

        Great, another patent on the bleeding obvious........

  3. frank ly

    New paradigm

    We've had the 'on a computer', the 'on a website' and 'on a mobile' patent applications. Now it's time for 'with robots' patent applications. I wonder if they count as a subset of IoT applications.

    1. PleebSmash

      Re: New paradigm

      It's novel. Your autonomous Uber needs to yield to other droids in order to receive proper maintenance.

  4. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Patents? Pah!

    Why do you think that the great Robotic Overlords will take a blind bit of notice of your weak and feeble human patents? If they want to do something, they WILL!!!!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mountain Trolls

    This is where a billion dollar corporation is allowed to freely troll based on their income, while a smaller troll would be fought tooth and nail if they tried such a patent. A patent to detect health levels?Yeh, I've played real time strategy games in the last 30 years, what's the big deal?

    Big trolls can get away with this, because the big trolls bought laws to kill off the small trolls, making the 'club' ever so tighter.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Terminator

    So "Don't be evil"...

    Was actually a stab at a first law of Goo-botics? Well intentioned, but Google seems to have officially discarded it the last 5-10 years.

    1. Irongut Silver badge

      Re: So "Don't be evil"...

      Lol it was and remains an advertising slogan to confound the unwary.

      If I say I do something no one will suspect I've been doing the opposite all along...

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: So "Don't be evil"...

      You should look at this in context:

      http://blog.efeciftci.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/terminator-linux41-825x510.jpg

      We have only a few more Linux versions to go.

  7. Irongut Silver badge

    hardworking, talented, and attractive journalists

    So they aren't looking to take any jobs at The Register then?

  8. GeneralDisaster
    Terminator

    I for one

    welcome our new robot/car/drone/etc. overlords.

  9. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Joke

    I can just picture it...

    "So once again Google's patent extortion continues to bring in thirty times the revenue of their own robotics platform... and I've still yet to see a Googlebot in the wild!"

    Posted on El Reg by Buzz Jaikuglass, April 2020.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What .....

    That explains this robots.txt file which keeps popping up on my web sites. And here I thought it was my friend.

  11. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    This shit is patentable?

    Pretty sure I have read of this ÜBERGENIUS idea about 30 times in the last 20 years. Literature search too hard of Patent Retards?

    1. Metrognome

      Re: This shit is patentable?

      Help me out here. I think that just describing something on some sci-fi novel or making a movie prop to resemble something performing some (at the time) imaginary things are not sufficient grounds neither to award a patent nor to invalidate another.

      Actually building a model and demonstrating its use according to the patent would.

      Right?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: This shit is patentable?

        A movie - or Donald Duck cartoon is certainly enough to invalidate a patent.

        http://www.iusmentis.com/patents/priorart/donaldduck/

        Actually building a model was abandoned a long time ago, precisely because it gave advantages to mega-corps. Lone inventor with an idea for a fusion reactor? Just build a working model and you can patent it.

      2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Holmes

        Re: This shit is patentable?

        Actually building a model and demonstrating its use according to the patent would. Right?

        If that were the case, patents on "business procedures" and on "how to distract a cat with a laser pointer" would be rightly impossible.

        And I am talking about IEEE Intelligent Systems or AI Magazine, not to mention books about multirobot coordination here.

      3. asdf

        Re: This shit is patentable?

        >This shit is patentable?

        Yep because ultimately the point of the system for the insiders is creating billable hours all around. Its what happens when you let those who practice law also write them.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This shit is patentable?

        The guy who actually built a waterbed failed to receive a patent as Robert A. Heinlein described in a novel. There have been other instances of such denials.

  12. DanceMan

    Google has patented Skynet?

  13. x 7

    " hardworking, talented, and attractive journalists." = three-way oxymoron

  14. Ian Michael Gumby

    Prior Art.

    Sorry but I believe there is prior art... not to mention looking at Akka for example ...

  15. Chris G Silver badge

    Borgleswarm

    "allocating tasks to a plurality of robotic devices"

    Anyone remember in the eighties and nineties the crimes of 'steaming' and 'home invasion' when a large crowd of little bad lads would get together and go through a railway carriage mugging everyone or invading a home and stealing anything portable ( I think home invasion started in California and I know trains into London have been 'steamed' in the past) and presenting just too many miscreants/targets to do anything about it.

    Now a swarm of robots will be able to target sections of the public and hit them with a barrage of advertising (or worse).

    Time to invest in a significantly powerful cattle prod I think.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Borgleswarm

      > Time to invest in a significantly powerful cattle prod I think.

      ITYM "EMP device"

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clearly, we need a clone army, to counter the robot army

    Clones are more creative than machines.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      That is true today, but what about tomorrow ?

    2. hplasm
      Headmaster

      Re: Clearly, we need a clone army, to counter the robot army

      Tut tut.

      "Clearly, the robot army to counter , a clone army we need.

      Hmmm."

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Clearly, we need a clone army, to counter the robot army

        The freedom-bringing Bushbama Cloning. Begun, it has!

  17. A Ghost
    Black Helicopters

    A Storm of Drones

    http://www.electrocd.com/en/cat/asp_0966/couverture/

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    What we will need is..

    A Butlerin Jehad to rid us of all those evil proto-overlords

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