IBM buys 'deep learning' upstart Alchemy API, inhales 40,000 devs

Big Blue has taken a break from its busy axe wielding cost-cutting schedule to buy startup AlchemyAPI and insert 40,000 developers into its "community". Deep learning upstart Alchemy API collects, sifts through and analyses unstructured text and data. According to Big Blue, the acquisition will boost IBM's "Watson ecosystem …

[Destroy All Monsters]

> and hire 40,000 new developers

Ok, now tell me:

1) How do you actually FIND 40'000 new developers (and I don't mean randomly hired grunts who know how to fire up an editor and code Hello World - real developers skilled in whatever stuff you actually want them to do)

2) What does this do to salaries (WHEEE!!)

3) How do you manage this kind of extreme bing-hiring in the first place?

[AceRimmer]

Here's a quote from a "proper" news source

"The deal also gives it access to community of over 40,000 AlchemyAPI developers"

[Anonymous Coward]

> 3) How do you manage this kind of extreme bing-hiring in the first place?

Two words: "Resource Action". If, for example, they actually had 40K people on the payoll, IBM would reduce it to 1K in 18 months time.

[Calimero]

40000 new developers

To Destroy All Monsters:

1) you don't find them - you pretend you did. They do not exist - please check this out

http://static1.1.sqspcdn.com/static/f/702523/9242013/1288741087497/200801-Dewar.pdf?token=q4qOQEN1oIuukznezyyt29ndVSc%3D it is a problem long recognized and even longer ignored

2) nothing: you cannot pay what you do not have

3) you don't need to- but if the number is a must, you can hire anyone who can spell the word "cloud" and go back to 1)

[Nick 6]

Steamroller our culture over yours

Heh, yeah, you know that free wheelin', free thinkin' start-up type culture we said we liked so much ? Well its going to get corporately f---ed. After about a year spraying you with our big blue treacle*, you'll kick yourself for thinking you were going to be the special different one who could avoid being borged. Welcome to our anti-culture.

* apols for unfortunately imagery, but see also: XIV, Fiberlink, Ascential....

[Anonymous Coward]

Its all about impressing the Stock Market

This has nothing to do with real business.

IBMs management bonuses are related to the share price.

So anything that impresses the traders in the banks and insurance companies is fair game. Firing employees, mouthing out meaningless BS about the latest big thing, mergers and acquisitions all impress our financial overlords.

There doesn't need to be any logic behind these "growth strategies" as you are only trying to impress the people who though sub-prime mortgages were a really good idea. Remenber these are the people who brought you Wall Street Crash and its many sequels.

[Anonymous Coward]

Good morning valued Alchemy API employee. Welcome to the Titanic.