Well, f**k me!
Oh sorry, looks like it's DIY instead.
A standout smut peddler wants its customers to take a shot at saving the planet with a kinetic power generator, tastefully dubbed the Wankband, which uses the wrist action favoured by onanists. Youtube Video "At Pornhub, we're always thinking of ways to improve the user experience and world as a whole," said Corey Price, vice …
I have entirely the wrong motion for the long "warm and happy" phase, and would need two for the "hurry over the top" finishing movement. Clearly they did not research enough techniques.
What's next? Charger crotchless panties with woven-in coils, to be excited by a magnitized condom? Keep going, just 5% more juice to make it through the next day...
How well does this cope with hormonally hyperactive teenagers?
"Timmy said his phone needed recharging, plugged it into this strap thingy on his wrist and went to his room."
"Fifteen minutes later there was this horrible explosion that nearly killed him."
An Apple representative was quoted as saying:
"We don't know how, but apparently the phone's battery took an enormous power surge that exceeded all failsafes. We can't stress this enough, don't jerk around with third party chargers."
Given that the "ball in a tube" mechanism presumably has a fixed mass for the ball, its momentum - and therefore the energy recovered - would be a function of frequency of motion, not torque. So a power wanker who pulls his pudding at a rate of 80 strokes a minute with a force of 80 newtons per stroke, would only generate about half as much electricity for a given ball mass, as a rapid-fire chicken choker at 160 strokes a minute with a force of 40 newtons per stroke, despite consuming the same number of joules in the process.
It seems to me that a better mechanism for converting oscillatory motion into electricity could be devised, perhaps one that would produce low volts / high amps for the power wanker, and high volts / low amps for the chicken choker, which can then be transformed as required, so as to maximise power conversion efficiency regardless of the stroking style of the power source.
Given the difficulty of varying the ball's mass, a good solution would be to provide different models with different sized metal balls, which buyers can choose to suit their wanking technique: big, heavy balls and tubes for the power wankers and small, light balls and tubes for the chicken chokers.