back to article You'll NEVER guess who has bought I Taught Taylor Swift How To Give Head dot-com

In one of the most unlikely but intriguing domain registrations in recent years, pop star Taylor Swift has, it appears, registered ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToGiveHead.com. No, really. The registration was sparked by Swift's lawyers threatening the owner of ITaughtTaylorSwift.com, run by, um, the man who taught Taylor Swift how to …

  1. David Dawson

    well, yuck

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      oh yeah

      If you think that's bad I wonder if she also remembered to registered ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToChaseTheBrownClownAroundTown.com. That one could probably use a tinyurl link though.

  2. Little Mouse

    Taylor Swift?

    Who's he?

    1. Daniel B.
      Trollface

      Re: Taylor Swift?

      I was actually going to ask, "who's she?" but it seems it's one of those dudes with a girl's name...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Taylor Swift?

      Sounds like a snooker player.

    3. fruitoftheloon
      Happy

      @Little Mouse: Re: Taylor Swift?

      LM,

      At first I thought it was the moniker of someone who can sew quick as well as accurately...

      J.

    4. D@v3

      Re: Taylor Swift?

      and what's with all the italics

  3. Khaptain Silver badge
    Happy

    Some domains still available

    ThingsAreQuietOnElRegTonight.com

    Ihavenoideawhythisgirlissopopular-Muricahasfarmanybetterartiststhanthis.com

  4. the spectacularly refined chap Silver badge

    Asking for trouble...

    ...given that there is a virtually infinite list of provocative domain names, many on very similar themes and this will appeal to those who like to stir things up. So, ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToGiveHead.com is taken. Did they think of e.g. ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToSuppressTheGagReflex.com?

    1. Adam Foxton

      Re: Asking for trouble...

      Or ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToGargle... and well, that opens up a few interesting choices of its own!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Or ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToGargle...

        ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToHumDannyBoyWhileILowerMyBallsIntoHerGub.com?

    2. Daniel B.
      Trollface

      Re: Asking for trouble...

      No, they haven't thought it out well. I have found at least two possible trollish domains. Hell, maybe someone will buy 'em just for shits and giggles...

  5. The_Idiot

    So for those who enjoy irony...

    ... including dwarves :-) - from what song, by what singer, does the following line come?

    "But when you think: Tim McGraw..."

    Not, you understand, that I would suggest anyone might have 'infringing the "(insert famous name here)" trademark, or that in fact Mr McGraw has in fact Trademarked his name (er - even if he did, first in April 1999), or that the use was not one for which permission had been granted. But it may have some small bearing on the fame of the name mentioned in the article above...

  6. Slions

    MarkMonitorScrewedTaylorSwiftDotCom

    Did they also get the .org .net .xxx .prn .tv .fck .fm .tm .scrwd .biz and .pwnd?

    1. Robin Bradshaw

      Re: MarkMonitorScrewedTaylorSwiftDotCom

      Dont forget .horse

      1. PleebSmash
        WTF?

        Re: MarkMonitorScrewedTaylorSwiftDotCom

        omg it's real

        1. Ken Y-N
          Thumb Up

          My Lovely .Horse

          http://www.ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToGiveHeadToMy.horse is still available

          1. AbelSoul

            Re: My Lovely .Horse

            Careful now.

            1. Portent
              Thumb Up

              Re: My Lovely .Horse

              Down with this sort of thing.

  7. swampdog

    TS went down on me

    As it happens. It was dark & her wig fell off. Didn't stop her using a straw to get past my fat belly but boy could she suck a $5 shake.

    We agreed we'd not speak of it again!

    1. Simon Harris

      Re: TS went down on me

      Oh dear. I read that thread title as a trans-sexual went down on you.

      Not that there's anything wrong with that if that's what floats your boat.

      1. frank ly

        Re: TS went down on me

        "... & her wig fell off ......", yes indeed.

        Have you noticed her throat? Adam's apple?

        1. Stuart Castle Silver badge

          Re: TS went down on me

          And if she's pre-op, that little thing with the two objects either side dangling between her legs?

  8. wolfetone Silver badge

    Suggestions

    TheManyBoyfriendsOfTaylorSwift.com

    IAmOldEnoughToRememberWhenTaylorSwiftSangCountryMusic.net

  9. stonedcom

    WATCH TAYLOR SWIFT LIE!!!

    In this video Taylor Swift HERSELF says (at around 8:00) ..."...this magical twist of fate...the guy who my parents had hired to come fix my computer...he looks over and sees the guitar in the corner..."

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyOeieM1cVY#t=458

    ...and in this video she HERSELF says ..."...this guy came to fix my computer...and I saw that he had brought a guitar with him...and so I looked down at the guitar and I was like..."

    (around 1:12)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8dxBePDKK8#t=72

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    MmeGuillotineTaughtMeToGiveHead

    Fair play to MarkMonitor. They charge to register a bunch of defensive registrations and invoice MsSwift, whoever she may be. Next up, buy all relevant adwords to point to swifttat.com and wait for the money to pour in. Sadly it seems I am not MsSwift's target audience.

  11. skeptical i
    Devil

    Daaaaaammmn.

    MarkMonitor has the best job ever: grab some beer, get your buddies around a table, put today's "name that needs protection" on the whiteboard, open said beers, and watch the number of potential "harmful" domain names grow. Multiply by latest number of dot-whatever TLDs. Register the fruit of this brainstorm. Invoice client, while also submitting regretful news that, alas, InsertNameHereLikesItLargeWithVatsOfButterAndOrangeGlitter.com has already been taken, should we summon the lawyers? I am SOOOOO jealous.

  12. Eddy Ito
    Childcatcher

    Best pic of Taylor Swift evah!

    I gotta say that's simply awesome and catches just the right amount of crazy. Just one thing I want to know, was it a bloody machete or meat cleaver in her hand that was photoshopped out? I assume the song was a catchy jingle like "if I can't have you, nobody will".

    The icon because that pic is the kind of thing that could give a kid nightmares.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Best pic of Taylor Swift evah!

      Yeah, why did they use a picture of a zombie?

  13. JustWondering
    Unhappy

    My sympathies ...

    ... to anyone that can quote that many TS lyrics.

  14. Innocent-Bystander*

    That was kinda random but ok...

  15. T. F. M. Reader

    I am curious: did the same company handle Barbra Streisand's internet affairs at one time?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Perhaps it is time for the Paris icon to be retired - and replaced with a T.S. one.

    Paris - because the cat is already out of the bag on ITAUGHTPARISHILTONTOGIVEHEAD.COM

    (seem the film and read the book).

  17. Allan George Dyer
    Joke

    Sponsored article?

    How much did ElReg accept from the Domain Name Registrars for this article?

  18. psyvenrix

    why not register togivehead.com/net/org/watever and use wildcard CNAMEs to tack on the itaught$CELEBTRITY part and go nuts from there?

    the registration would not have any copyrighted name/identity present and you can argue to some limited extent that a wildcard CNAME isnt a permanent record as such.

  19. Jay Hayman

    It's consumerism, stupid.

    Other suggestions:

    iBoughtThisForTaylorSwiftsLeagalTeam.com

  20. JDX Gold badge

    So she's self-taught

    Who isn't?

    1. wolfetone Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: So she's self-taught

      In guitar playing or fellatio?

  21. hi_robb

    Err.

    Thanks for the heads...

  22. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Trollface

    Going to register...

    taylorswifttakethatbit.ch

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToBeASSucker

    still appears to be wide open to receptive parties

    digital economy is e-booming, brothers!

  24. Stevie

    Bah!

    They were lyrics? I had guessed they might be song titles, but couldn't say for sure since, and this is the important bit, I don't know who Taylor Swift is and bewilderingly that has not caused my world to collapse into quantum vacuum.

    Whatever that is.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bah!

      not lyrics, just some random pick from a dick-shonery.

    2. asdf

      Re: Bah!

      >I don't know who Taylor Swift is and bewilderingly that has not caused my world to collapse into quantum vacuum.

      And here the Brits on this site tore into me for not knowing or caring about Gangnam Style or whatever two weeks after the thing was released. I am with you though. I couldn't name one of her songs. One thing that has stayed pretty consistent in my not so short lifetime is that pop music is garbage.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swift Who? (had to check youtube)

    well, head or no head, Alanis Morrissette she ain't.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    itaughttaylorswifthowtogivehead.com

    Registered by Matt Serlin apparently.

  27. Alister

    To the best of my knowledge, Domain registrars mostly have a clause which states that they reserve the right to refuse or cancel a domain registration if it is judged to be inappropriate or offensive.

    I don't know if this is something that individual Registrars do, or whether it comes originally from ICANN, but I'm slightly surprised that this and similar registrations are not covered by this clause.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There is a lot of scum in the world

    ...looking to cash in on other people's celebrity status. Those who do should pay a very high price including jail time.

    1. asdf

      Re: There is a lot of scum in the world

      Taylor please don't go AC. Let the world know how you really feel.

  29. Waspy

    Two Words:

    Barbra Streisand

  30. People's Poet

    Taylor Swift is sweetly pretty and I want to protect her! (Spot the reference)

    While her lawyers might be some what vociferous in their approach to protect her IP, Taylor Swift is actually one of the few decent pop stars around these days. I hear all about her and her good deeds from my daughter. She regularly buys fans gifts and invites them to parties, pays off their student loans etc.

    As for her music which most of is written by her, personally I don't mind it, I have to listen to it often enough so perhaps that's why.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Etymology

    Anyone know the history of this strange euphemism "give head"?

    I would put it in the same category as "big air".

    Is it really that hard to say "suck my cock" or "jump high"?

    The euphemism is hardly more polite, so I'm not sure what the point is.

  32. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Yeah, but ...

    ... who owns the HowToGiveHead.com domain? The business opportunities involved with the creation of subdomains ITaught<InsertNameOfPersonalityHere>.HowToGiveHead.com are almost limitless.

    But judging from the picture, the ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToPutOnMakeup.com domain is still up for grabs.

  33. x 7

    "Next up, buy all relevant adwords to point to swifttat.com and wait for the money to pour in....."

    Surely "swifttwat.com"??????

  34. montyburns56

    Little Ted

    I was wondering if NorahJonesHadSexWithATeddyBear.com is taken?

  35. x 7

    meanwhile.....I think this girl probably wants to own Itaughttailorswifthowtoputonmakeup.com

    theres a definite resemblance

    http://bit.ly/17ocM3I

    warning - it leads to an adult "mating" site so don't open with wives or kids around. Instant divorce if you're caught........

    1. x 7

      or maybe it was she who taught Ms Swift how to give head.....????

  36. aqk
    Devil

    And he blows Bob Parsons too

    What's worse, that Goo-Daddy Elephant slaughterer is his domain reseller!

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