back to article Capita lands spot on mega £5bn NHS commissioning deal

Outsourcing giant Capita is one of three major companies to be awarded a place on the £5bn Lead Provider Framework for Commissioning Support Services. Clinical Commissioning Groups (CCGs) will be required to re-procure many of their support services by April 2016 in order to comply with EU procurement law, which NHS England …

  1. dogged

    oh dear god

    Just when you thought things had hit rock-bottom - Crapita.

    1. Triggerfish

      Re: oh dear god

      Indeed they may as well have changed the headline to Gov decides to piss £5bn up the wall.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: oh dear god

      At least it's not CSC or Accenture. I guess.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My advice...

    ...don't get ill...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear

    well this will end exactly as expected

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Instead of going through the pretence...

    ...of delivering services etc, can't David Cameron just cut to the chase and put the 5bn in the swiss bank accounts of the directors of Capita?

    1. Triggerfish

      Re: Instead of going through the pretence...

      They miss out on the perks such as budget overruns, scope creep etc.

  5. Little Mouse Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Unbelievable

    And at the same time, so very, very, believable.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    The good news is that there is an obvious mocking pseudonym that is available here...

    "Crapita"--but I think you guys already use that :)

  7. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Bar-Stewards

    With their track record, does anyone seriously believe they got this plumb by any means other that corruption?

  8. getHandle

    And they wonder why people don't bother voting

    Tories - look after their mates. Labour - piss away money like it's going out of fashion. Lib-dems - spare me. Ukip - (sigh) maybe, but not really.

    Wonder if Capita have any jobs going? If you can't beat them...

    1. Gordon 10 Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

      No-one in their right mind would work for crapita. I have a friend who does - he's generally rightwards of genesis khan and even he deplores their behaviour.

      1. dogged

        Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

        Now I'm picturing Phil Collins in a furry helmet with a spike on it.

        1. NeilMc

          Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

          Off on a tangent here but as scope creep has already set in I think its justified.

          I prefer the image of Lily Collins in a furry helmet mit a spike on it..... that's Phil's Hollywood actress daughter....a very attractive woman.

    2. P. Lee

      Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

      >Ukip - (sigh) maybe, but not really.

      My enemy's enemy is my friend. You don't have to get them into government or agree with their policies, you just have to take enough from the top two to make them afraid.

      The top two survive in a duopoly where they both act the same. Putting someone disruptively different up there with them is the best chance of shaking them up. Otherwise, nothing will change.

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

        There's a difference between Tories who want to flog it all off and UKIP who want to flog off most of it and eager for TTIP?

        Really? A difference?

        One is a shitty stick and the other a stick with shit on.

      2. NB

        Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

        UKIP aren't any different from the Tories though. They are ex-Tories, funded by ex-Tory party donors who are even more Thatcherite than the current bunch of gigantic cunts in power.

        Seriously, fuck UKIP.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

        agreed. I'll be voting UKIP come May just to try and fuck over our local Tory MP, I can't stick UKIP but its got to be done, either that or spoil my paper. I've always voted Tory, but as a Civil servant I've had enough, they've fecked my pension, given me hardly any pay increase for 5 years (and what I have had is more than cancelled out by pension increases) and now they've bolloxed our grade progression.

        1. Gordon 10 Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

          The problem with voting for UKIP is that the average politician is too thick to distinguish between a vote for UKIP as a protest against the mainstream parties policies versus a vote endorsing UKIP's policies.

          Net result -> Tories lurch right to UKIP lite. Labour lurch even more authoritarian/nanny statist, whilst pretending to be lefty.

          I'm probably going to vote LibDem - on the off chance they get the balance of power - generally they will act as a moderating influence on the big 2, but not carry enough weight to implement their more loony policies. Filter out the policies that appear to their core voters and they are actually surprisingly sane. For political values of sane obviously.....

        2. NeilMc

          Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

          I was thinking more along the lines of "soiling" the paper rather than spoiling it but the curtains in the booths tend to be a bit short and not effectively cover ones intentions shall we say.

          Any ideas on another form of Protest Vote?

  9. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Windows

    I forget

    Are Capita a nationalised industry?

    1. JohnMurray

      Re: I forget

      They originally started biz as Sim systems, a company started by Bedford council to design bespoke software. The council were persuaded it was a non-starter and sold it to its managers....the rest is history...

      1. chris 17 Silver badge

        Re: I forget

        "They originally started biz as Sim systems, a company started by Bedford council "

        Not according to Wikipedia

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capita

        Capita was formed in 1984 as a division of the non-profit CIPFA (Chartered Institute of Public Finance and Accountancy). In 1987 it became an independent company with 33 staff as a result of a management buy-out, led by Rod Aldridge, and was first listed on the London Stock Exchange in 1991.

        1. JohnMurray

          Re: I forget

          I was there......

          1. Elmer Phud

            Re: I forget

            "only the names were change to protect the . . ."

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: I forget

      I think you meant is the nation a Capita subsidiary ?

  10. All names Taken
    Alien

    Point of order?

    It seems sort of important (maybe even critically important?) to tell the public who the shareholders are as well?

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first

      Re: Point of order?

      Good question, but good luck with that.

  11. Tubz Bronze badge

    Did I Just Hear The Patient Die ?

    If I was the NHS, I start looking at the overrun costs now, as they are about to get fleeced big time !

  12. All names Taken
    Paris Hilton

    maybe

    In a free democratic state the owners if capita can reveal themselves to the public?

    Maybe that is where and when altruism went into its final death shudders?

  13. cantankerous swineherd

    fuck this shit. eons of politicians spunking layers of management over the NHS so as to get seats on the board (waves at alan milburn) has resulted in total farce, courtesy of the EU. there were lots of things wrong with sir lancelott spratts leadership of the NHS, but there was leadership as opposed to management, and the wards were spotless.

  14. AlanT1

    And they wonder where the money goes?

    How can it be right to pour more cash, increasing prices into private intermediaries? Since Thatcher started this more and more changes have been implemented for the sake of change, never for the service.

    What a mess

    1. JohnMurray

      Re: And they wonder where the money goes?

      All the changes have been for the benefit of the service, just not the HEALTH service. The admin services have been greatly duplicated, sometimes the duplication has led to there being so much paperwork that the patient has become irrelevant.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This can only end badly

    And it will end badly for the NHS. Capita have good salesmen who sell coals to newcastle and will blind the purchasers with promises of savings and delivery on time. 'Yes, it will all happen'[greasy smile]. Sadly once the contract's signed, all their promises will evaporate like the cigarette smoke outside the back of a hospital, and you'll get the worst service possible with a lack of delivery. But you're in a contract, the managers at Capita will get their bonus, it'll get blamed on the little guys who have no idea what they are doing and have no chance of ever delivering.

  16. Toothpick
    Unhappy

    "The scale of the opportunity is huge," he said.

    In other words "Piss easy to get our hands on even MORE taxpayers cash. Trebles all round"

    1. Triggerfish

      Re: "The scale of the opportunity is huge," he said.

      Yes it would be more honest would be if their PR flack came out and went.

      "Fuck me the trough is massive, oink".

  17. Allan 1

    Capita, as in the same people who are TV Licensing Thugs^H^H^H^H^HEnforcers?

    Oh dear gods no.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Turn up the spigot!

    I see the corporate welfare gravy train is in rude health. Unlike anyone forced to use an NHS hospital if the Tories get back in.

  19. The Vociferous Time Waster
    Trollface

    get over it

    BUPA isn't that expensive

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: get over it

      No wonder it still uses mostly NHS trained staff and in many cases NHS facilities.

  20. Halfmad

    Got to wonder why..

    We couldn't have just left things as they were. NHS Scotland seems to be such a stable place compared to down here, they still have NHS boards (not even trusts) and actually talk to each other rather than competing.

    Perhaps I'll just drive over the border when I actually feel ill from now on, only way to get some consistency of care.

  21. JayB
    Unhappy

    Capita can go suck....

    Jesus, it beggars belief that these parasites have scammed yet more money.

    Kiss goodbye to your personal data. The moment Capita get a sniff of access to data they will take first, sell second, and not even bother about asking for forgiveness later. This is regardless of whether anything they are doing allows them access, they'll take it anyway... in addition to the extra billions they'll screw the country for in cost overruns and "maintenance".

    Also beggars belief the number of people who are on here equating Capita = Tories. You seem to be forgetting that this disgusting & unethical organisation of cretins came to prominence during the reign of and at the behest of Labour. Which only goes to show that there is no difference between either side when it comes to stupidity and piss poor decision making skills,

    Goodbye NHS, it was nice knowing you and thank f*** for Private Medical Cover.

    Is it too late to put the mice in charge?

  22. Rodders86

    "in order to comply with EU procurement law". Anyone know what piece of legislation this refers to? Because it sounds ridiculous and has surely been misinterpreted. Does the EU seriously require member states to procure x% of public services from the private sector?! Seems completely bizarre.

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