back to article Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

My wife has asked me to produce my dong when she is least expecting it. Apparently, this will help her to refocus during lengthy meditation exercises. She has also asked me to produce this occasional chiming sound (that’s right, a "dong" – why, what did you think I meant?) from different locations in the room. Better still, to …

  1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Headmaster

    where I art be ?

    Alistair, I have no problem with you navigating by the intestines of kine, for I always knew you to be a smart lad, but for that egregious insult to the native tongue, you must sit in the corner and play with your dongs for the rest of the day!

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: where I art be ?

      Sheep are not kine.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: where I art be ?

        Depends where in the country you are.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    whatever to the great British tradition....

    ....of being shouted at by a spouse for an hour before you stop and ask a passer-by for directions?

    Well I am happy to report that:

    a) The tradition is alive and well and hasn't been in the least eroded by the emergence of GPS

    b) The tradition is not limited to Britain but seems to be deeply genetically ingrained in male/female relationships the world over.

    What the emergence of GPS and smart phones has allowed for however are monty pythonesque scenes such as the following:

    Me (grumbling): It should be there on the left hand side according to the car's GPS.

    Wife (exasperated): Men! Stop playing with your boy-toys. You've been driving along this road 5 times already. Just stop and ask this nice lady there at the corner.

    Me (giving in): Oh well, if you insist ! [Stopping car by local lady conveniently waiting at street corner]

    Me (Talking to local): Excuse me, would you happen to know where Silly-Bugger lane is?

    Local woman: Silly-bugger lane? Hmmm let me see [Whips out Samsung Galaxy and launches google map]. Well it should be the next street on your left.

    Me: (roaring with laughter internally but keeping a straight face) - Thank you so much maam.

    Wife: See I told you - now we know where to go ! .....

    Me: (sheepishly) Yes darling.

    1. VinceH

      Re: whatever to the great British tradition....

      Priceless!

    2. Robert Ramsay

      Re: whatever to the great British tradition....

      I just tried to retweet that.

  3. Bloodbeastterror

    GIF

    I very much enjoyed the double entendres but the signature GIF was an excellent touch. And it works.

    "The attractive blonde asked the barman for a double entendre so he gave her one".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GIF

      If I had two entendres I'd give you one!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GIF

      ...and the woman setting up the amp asked for a sound check, so he gave her one two.

      And your point was?

    3. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: GIF

      A double? I see yours is a LARGE ONE!

      1. ecofeco Silver badge

        Re: GIF

        May the Schwartz be with you, Lord Helmet.

    4. Martin Silver badge

      Re: GIF

      A woman goes into a chemist and says to the pharmacist, "This Viagra; does it work?"

      "Yes, it does."

      "Can you get it over the counter?"

      "I'd have to take six."

      1. Robert Ramsay

        Re: GIF

        "Have you come far?"

        "I hit the headboard once."

  4. Decade
    Flame

    GPS maps are not the same

    The main difference between a GPS and a proper map is that a GPS is angled and automatically oriented, so in theory you could look down at the map and up at the street and see where they correspond. No need to tilt your head and compare street signs to see if you're going the right way.

    I'm finding smartphone GPS to have some pretty bad directions. For example, when I'm in the middle of a block, and the road curves, sometimes Google says, "Slight right." A completely useless command because, if I don't "slight right," I'll run off the road or into oncoming traffic. Other times it will say, "Turn left," but when I stare at the GPS map, it shows a sharp right that I must take before I can turn left. And you always need to beware directions that are illegal and/or unsafe.

    1. Canopus

      Re: GPS maps are not the same

      I am not addicted to technology.... but sir you are confusing two things I believe which are "Maps" and "Guidance systems".

      GPS guidance systems may not be perfect - by far - but they do something that no traditional map ever did which is propose a route for your journey...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: GPS maps are not the same

        I have seen a copy of a pre-map map which showed the route from London to Bath. No compass direction, and the road is shown as more or less straight all the way, but turnings, boggy bits, fords, landmarks and so on are noted along with recommendations as to the best places to stay the night, areas to avoid in darkness, places to shelter from rain and the like. So yes, traditional maps did perform many of the functions of GPS, they just didn't do it very well and the update frequency was terrible.

        1. John 110

          Re: GPS maps are not the same

          The update frequency was probably fine when the road didn't change for 100 years or so and the main difference was that Little Effingham had been wiped out by the plague (making it a good fixer-upper opportunity)

          1. Charles Manning

            Re: GPS maps are not the same

            " when the road didn't change for 100 years"

            Nope, the roads changed almost daily - like they still do in rural Africa.

            When a bit of road gets too boggy, someone makes a bit of a detour around it and that becomes the new road. Miss that and your up to your windows in mud. After a while, detours got their own detours...

            I don't live there any more but I did drive those parts for some 12 years or so - much of the skill in driving those areas was being able to spot these little detours and making a quick assessment if they were better or worse than the road.

            No doubt many English roads were similar in the 1800s.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: GPS maps are not the same

              "When a bit of road gets too boggy, someone makes a bit of a detour around it "

              There is an old section of dirt road near our house where exactly this tends to happen, but on a small scale. And that's with just foot traffic and the occasional horse.

              However, much of the road from London to Bath, even a long time ago, was better than that. What we think of as the "M4 corridor" is really the London-Bath-Bristol corridor. The Wikipedia article on the A4 is (for once) informative and interesting on the subject.

        2. K

          Re: GPS maps are not the same

          "the update frequency was terrible"

          Sounds like modern day OTA for phone firmware upgrade.. ba dum tsh

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: GPS maps are not the same

        I am not addicted to technology.... but sir you are confusing two things I believe which are "Maps" and "Guidance systems"

        Map -- normally printed or on an LCD screen (GPS)

        Guidance System -- the lady in the passenger seat. (In my car anyway.)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GPS maps are not the same

      I'm finding smartphone GPS to have some pretty bad directions. For example, when I'm in the middle of a block, and the road curves, sometimes Google says, "Slight right." A completely useless command because, if I don't "slight right," I'll run off the road or into oncoming traffic.

      But then when some drivers get told to "proceed straight ahead", they do so without question.

      1. Andrew Moore

        Re: GPS maps are not the same

        I've always suggested that if we wanted a mass cull of the stupid, we'd just need to get GPS systems to say "Turn right now" when it detects that they are driving eastward on Beachy Head.

    3. Bruce Ordway

      Re: GPS maps are not the same

      A few years ago I found out GPS doesn't always work when you're in the jungle and on foot.

      Some GPS models can't get signals thru the tree canopy and/or won't register when standing still.

      I had to wait for clearings where I could jog around before obtaining location information.

      1. spamspamspam

        Re: GPS maps are not the same

        People who actually use GPS for anything important have known that since, well, GPS was invented I guess. Did you read the manual?

    4. Claus Møller

      Re: GPS maps are not the same

      Well, your statement of inconsitent voice guidance made me think of an article I saw once about a pro rally driver, who thought the same about his co-driver as you think of Google....

      "Top British rally driver, Mark Fischer, today found himself at the centre of a storm of controversy after confessing that he had absolutely no idea what his long-term co-driver, Gethyn Davis, was talking about during races.

      It had been assumed that co-drivers were reading ‘pace notes’, a series of instructions describing how to negotiate the road layout ahead, but Fischer claims the notes are ‘total nonsense’ and that he has simply been humouring his co-driver all these years. ‘It’s just gibberish,’ he said. ‘But the regulations say that there must be two people in the car at all times during the race, and Gethyn was a good mate so I always just took him along for the ride.’

      Davis is reported to be furious at Fischer’s statement and maintains that they were equal partners in the team, but Fisher has been quick to dismiss this.

      ‘Oh, come on,’ he said. ‘I mean, ’50 5-left and stop 2-right half minus braking into K-right 90 maybe and absolute crest 500′. What the hell am I supposed to make of that when I’m flat out over a jump sideways at 90mph?’

      This is not the first time Fischer has courted controversy over the role of co-drivers. In 2009, after finding himself without a co-driver for the Jyvaskyla Rally in Finland, he kidnapped a homeless man and forcibly strapped him into the passenger seat to ensure that the two-people-in-each-car rule was complied with. The stunt only came to light when onboard footage taken during the race revealed that rather than reading the ‘pace notes’, the Finnish co-driver was in fact screaming the words ‘Oh shit!’ over and over again, occasionally interspersed with other phrases including, ‘Watch out for that house’ and ‘Slow down, you mad bastard’."

  5. adnim
    WTF?

    WTF

    was that article about?

    Phones can make a noise, phones can play video and phones can be used to view stuff that's on the Internet. Phone's can also be used to tell those who are too dumb to know where they are, where they are. And?

    It's early morning and I haven't really woken up yet. I wonder if this article will be as pointless and empty of useful content after I have finished my first coffee.

    And what's with the cock obsession? Freelance eh? I am not surprised.

    1. Bloodbeastterror

      Re: WTF

      Maybe your coffee will help restore your sense of humour... :-)

      Willie jokes are always funny.

      1. willi0000000

        Re: WTF

        Willie jokes are always funny.

        perhaps to some they are.

        [ . . . and don't get me started on "fire at will"]

    2. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: WTF

      I wonder if this article will be as pointless and empty of useful content after I have finished my first coffee.

      I do hope so.

    3. Charles Manning

      Re: WTF

      " Free LANCE eh?"

      I see what you did there. In a rant against the cock joke, you managed to slip one in.

      Well done sir!

      1. Martin Budden Bronze badge

        Re: WTF

        "slip one in" hehe very good! Keep it up ;-)

  6. Dr_N Silver badge

    Finbarr Saunder

    Morning Mr Dabbs!

    I sometimes get the impression on reading your column that, although you're a bit of a dab hand[sic] with the innuendo, when it comes to real smut 'n' durt you'd end up like a startled deer caught in the headlights. Or it just goes over your head.

    Keep up the good work!

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Finbarr Saunder

      Are you offering to show me your headlights?

  7. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    GPS and SatNav

    A friend of my other half lives 400yds from her local Tesco. you can see it from their driveway. But everytime she goes she sets the SatNav. The same for the return.

    When asked why she did this when you can see the place from home, the reply was, 'There might be a traffic jam and I can take an alternative route if this tells me to'.

    Doh! Facepalm and everything else.

    Not that far from where I live there is a dirt road. At the start of it there is a 6ft high notice saying,

    SATNAV Drivers STOP. Go back. This road does not go to *******.

    almost on a daily basis, an HGV (usually from foreign parts) gets stuck half way down. The local Truck breakdown service charges 200GBP to get them out but still they come.

    What is the use case for this bit of tech again?

    I'm sure it might have some use (I use paper maps) but for most of us, it is IMHO nothing more than a distraction.

    "Eff off Cortana"

    "I'm sorry Dave I can't do that."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GPS and SatNav

      Of course the HGVs get stuck. The notice needs to be in Polish, Romanian and Russian or Bulgarian. I discovered this was the only way to reduce the incidence of those annoying charity bags, till I realised that I could just use the charity bags to wrap the waste paper for the refuse collection.

      1. Andrew Moore

        Re: GPS and SatNav

        You're lucky- we don't get the bags anymore, just stickers with instructions to attach it to a bin bag...

    2. hplasm
      Devil

      Re: GPS and SatNav

      "What is the use case for this bit of tech again?"

      Idiot identification.

      "...Cortana"

      again, idiot ID.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: GPS and SatNav

      "almost on a daily basis, an HGV (usually from foreign parts) gets stuck half way down."

      Also caused by HGV drivers not using an HGV aware SatNav. Many years ago, my Garmin StreetPilot could be set for pedestrian, car or HGV/PSV modes. Most consumer SatNavs no longer offer an HGV/PSV mode. You have to pay significantly more for a "proper" HGV aware SatNav. Like my old StreetPilot used to do, it will not route down narrow lanes or under low bridges. No doubt it's not perfect, but I bet most of the HGV jammed in narrow lanes are using cheap consumer (ie car based) SatNavs.

    4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: GPS and SatNav

      "an HGV (usually from foreign parts) gets stuck half way down"

      We have a local lane which is steep, had two right angle bends and a few lesser bends and gets narrower as you go down. I think the local farmer could do quite well out of a sign with the number of the local recovery firm.

      One of the oddities of this is that the victims are obviously being SATNAVed to a particularly congested main road (which the Highways Agency would really like them to avoid) but have either crossed or turned off another main road which is less problematic. All the route planning sites have this strange preference. Do the routing algorithms prefer a road with a slightly lower number?

      As a side issue, being near to a national park we often see parties of walkers all togged out with their waterproofs, sticks in each hand and, despite the maps in plastic envelopes round their necks, wearing distinctly lost-looking expressions on their faces. I've seen one group turn back just before they got to the footpath they were probably aiming at and turn up what was clearly marked as a private road leading to a row of cottages. It's not just drivers and SATNAVs who can't navigate.

  8. malle-herbert
    Joke

    Why dont you just ask...

    A little boy called 'Thomas Thomas' for directions...

    1. Teiwaz Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Why dont you just ask...

      His parents are really scum. Runs linux, but can't update his maps with linux. Don't adopt him.

      1. Bloodbeastterror

        Re: Why dont you just ask...

        And since you menation "scum", I bought Tomtom Android just over a year ago, upgraded to a Nexus 6 with QHD screen (same as several others such as Note 4) and Tomtom no longer works. And they show no sign of shame or recognition of this reprehensible behaviour which (IMO) falls little short of fraud when I bought the app for the "lifetime maps"...

        Despite repeated requests from many people they give no indication that, unlike almost every other GPS navigation provider (Sygic, Nokia Here, so it can't be a difficult technical limitation), they have any intention of fulfilling the spirit of their sales promise.

        Rant off...

        But beware.

        1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

          Re: Why dont you just ask...

          Ivan Sussanin, proud inventor of the modern guidance systems.

  9. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Very entertaining...

    Just been watching 'Seitokai Yakuindomo' all morning and wasn't sure for a moment if the text was as I read it or I'd contracted double-entendre-itis due to over-exposure.

    I am reminded of the back-story in Dune by Frank Herbert though, where humans realised dependancy on A.I. and technology was weakening them and making them lazy.

    The problem with GPS use is that peoples brains swith into 'following orders unquestioningly' mode, if you can keep that to directions only and mentally filter out the dumb comments about 'proceed straight' and keep your brain filtering and fault checking for obvious errors like being told to proceed down dirt roads you'll be fine, but many users often blindly obey.

    As for the wife situation, why not fashion her a set of earrings from those little bells from cat collars so when she nods off, any head drooping will jingle (added bonus if she keeps them on you'll always know where she is in the house and you can play with your toys in peace).

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Very entertaining...

      Seitokai Yakuindomo

      Not read it. Is it like Azumanga Daioh?

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Very entertaining...

        Similar in that it's a high school setting, often thought of as the reverse to Seitokai no Ichizon where the only male on the council is a perv. In the case of Seitokai Yakuindomo, most of the girls are which is far more amusing (the usual Ttsukimi-boko funny man straight man routine)

        Plus the usual 'inapropriate teacher' who is kind of a combo of Yukari-sensei and Kimura rolled into an atractive young female teacher, hungry for the male students at this recently co-ed high school.

        Another good one for fans of innudendo is OniAi, which is also very rude and funny and also involves a high school student council.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Very entertaining...

      I've never seen so much entendre in one manga.

    3. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Very entertaining...

      Indeed. And the other thing that GPS does for you is to remove the necessity to know where you are Mapreading is only partially "knowing the way", you know.

  10. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Black Helicopters

    {Sounds alarm}

    Object of interest: Teiwaz

    "The problem with GPS use is that peoples brains switch into 'following orders unquestioningly' mode"

    We are discovered. Dispatch the re-educators.

  11. vonBureck
    Megaphone

    Is it just me..

    Or has Mr. Dabbs's gone all soft with the headlines? Usually I could instantly spot a SftW headline in the Reg feed, but alas no longer. Or maybe the rest of the Reg has gone all Daily Mail, what with the SHOUTY CAPS all over the place...

    (SHOUTY CAPS ICON, FTW)

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Is it just me..

      I will stiffen up forthwith.

  12. jake Silver badge

    Whatever.

    Constantly[0] referring to your telephone for directions makes you[1] look like an idiot.

    [0] Here in Sonoma, the tourists seem to need to eyeball their telephones to figure out the path between Mission San Francisco Solano and El Cuartel de Sonoma. They are across the street (1st East) from each other.

    [1] Not you, personally, Alistair, just in general.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Whatever.

      It's easy when you don't know where something is to look like an idiot to someone who does. "It's right across the street, idiot!" Well, yes, but I didn't know it was right across the street until (1) I checked Google Maps, or (2) a shouty man shouted it at me.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Alistair (was:Re: Whatever.)

        So when you visit a small, spendy, foot/bicycle-traffic tourist town, you don't bother to find out where your meandering will take you before you get there?

        If you don't know why you are going there, and where you are planning to visit, why are you spending a lot of money on that particular travel destination?

        "OH, It's SONOMA! Heart of California's wine country!" isn't an answer. Because it's not.

        1. Eponymous Cowherd
          Joke

          Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.)

          ""OH, It's SONOMA! Heart of California's wine country!" isn't an answer. Because it's not."

          You mean "whine" country, surely.

        2. Alistair Dabbs

          Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.)

          So when you visit a small, spendy, foot/bicycle-traffic tourist town, you don't bother to find out where your meandering will take you before you get there?

          In pre-GPS days, I once had to drive to a meeting at the Aston Villa football stadium. I identified where it was on the road map, which I had open at the page on the passenger seat, but I found it very difficult to work out how to get to it. I'd spot the stadium towering above some houses, turn the corner and end up on a motorway; or I'd be driving over a bridge and see the stadium below me, then turn off at the next exit and find myself at a dead end in the middle of an industrial estate.

          Once you know the way to the front door, it's easy to find. If you don't, it's not.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.)

            In pre-GPS days, my GF & I watched a game at Villa Park. From my home in Harrogate, I eyeballed my OS maps, and took the M42 to Bradford/Leeds to round up a couple friends and their ladies, and we all hit the M1. When we got to Birmingham, we simply followed the signs to the park. About 3 hours, total, each way. No muss, no fuss, barring pee/petrol/tea breaks (we were all on Honda 250 Super Dreams (CB 250 NA), this was roughly 1979). I rather suspect that GPS would have distracted from the trip, rather than enhance it.

            Good match, BTW. Leeds won 2-1 ... We're probably lucky we didn't get the shit kicked out of us by Lions supporters, we all followed Leeds ;-)

            1. AceRimmer

              Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.)

              To think that all these years I've been using A roads when driving from Leeds to Harrogate when I could have used the M42

              1. jake Silver badge

                Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.)

                This was a third of a century ago, lotta water under the ol' bridge. Maybe the A6-hundred-something? Our friends joined us in Rawdon, Farsley and Pudsey (I'm still in contact with all of them, so I know all the towns are correct). Then on to the poor-excuse for a southern section of the ring-road around Leeds, to the A1(M1?) and South. Don't ask where we pulled off the A1(M1?), but I'm pretty certain it was south of Nottingham and north of Leicester.

                I guess I could look at a map, but I can't be arsed.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.)

              You're so full of crap Jake. 3 hours on a Super Dream? No Way

              Leeds v Villa 2-1, no way

              M1/A1/M42? But definitely South of Nottingham and North of Leicester...

              All three of your friends are living in the same poxy villages 35 years later?

              Jake has friends, and he still calls them friends...

              Can't even begin to believe any of that.

              1. jake Silver badge

                @AC "14 hrs" (whatever that means, ElReg) (was:Re: Alistair (was:Whatever.))

                "You're so full of crap Jake."

                No, eat my veggies and get in plenty of fiber.

                "3 hours on a Super Dream? No Way"

                It's only ~140 miles. The little 250s could go almost twice as fast as needed to bridge the distance.

                "M1/A1/M42?"

                As I said, it was a long time ago. Details are rusty. Read the follow-up.

                "But definitely South of Nottingham and North of Leicester..."

                Oh, you did read the follow-up. So my brain isn't totally toast (yet), then? Ta.

                "All three of your friends are living in the same poxy villages 35 years later?"

                Wow. An ad hominem comment on folks (all of three towns full of people, no less!) who have had absolutely zero to do with this thread? I'm not surprised you're posting AC.

                "Jake has friends, and he still calls them friends..."

                Yep, I do. And it's mutual, a third of a century later :-) Will you be able to say the same in 2050?

                "Can't even begin to believe any of that."

                Reads like you have issues that I can't even begin to understand.

  13. Chris G Silver badge

    I like maps (paper ones)

    I had to do a bit of a runaround at the beginning of last year; get the ferry to Denia, drive to Alicante, Benidorm and then up to Valencia and finally to the centre of Madrid. I already had a reasonable idea of how the places were oriented relative to each other but my knowledge of driving in Madrid was limited, so I did what I have always done BGPS (Before GPS) I took a map where I can see the whole area I need to drive in in one go, traced the route, spent 5 minutes writing the junctions and turns to reinforce memory and then drove the journey.

    No need to use the GPS on my phone once, even the couple of bits on local streets were not much of a problem. That made me happy as I just can't drive and look at a GPS as I need glasses to read but if I have reading glasses on I can't focus on the road, call me odd but looking at the road when driving seems to be marginally more important than looking at the weeny 5" display on my phone clipped to the dash. It did however dong at all the correct junctions(waypoints)

    By the way Alistai .Did you know, nodding your head like that makes your nose look bigger.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: I like maps (paper ones)

      Did you know, nodding your head like that makes your nose look bigger.

      Good, because I have a small one. It's nice to know that giving it a good shake will make it bigger.

  14. Fungus Bob

    Re garding "a desire to be entertained by a number of different dongs"

    Sounds just like my wife!

    Do you think it possible that we have the same wife Mr. Dabbs?

  15. ecofeco Silver badge

    Maps?

    People have been unable to use maps ever since they were created. A LOT of people.

    It's another one of those "there are 2 kinds of people" things.

  16. Lord-a-miytee

    It's not just directions

    Not so many years ago I was involved in a dispute with another driver who drove into me and made various outrageous claims about what had happened. In court, the judge finally lost patience and asked him why, in the face of road signs to the contrary, my adversary maintained that the speed limit was 50 mph, rather than 60. The answer was "because when I go over 50 the little green light on my Tomtom goes red".

    I won.

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      Re: It's not just directions

      And then there was a BMW driver, who crashed his car on a slippery road, and blamed it on a technical malfunction. You see, m'lud, ESP didn't pull the car straight.

  17. David Roberts Silver badge

    Nokia Maps?

    All the talk about maps on devices motivated me to download Nokia Maps to my WiFi only tablet.

    Offline maps being an especially good thing if you don't have a mobile data connection.

    In the sign up Ts and Cs it says that on registration and each time you update the software a text message will be sent to Nokia. Not sure how my tablet will do this without a built in phone.

    So is Nokia Maps only for phones (including very big ones over 10")?

    Just to keep on message mine's a very big one ;-)

    1. Cpt Blue Bear

      Re: Nokia Maps?

      You are not alone. Samsung offer a free version of whatever Garmin's software is called. It would be brilliant on a tablet but the !@#$ won't install without a phone service.

  18. Alan Denman

    in true marketing style.

    is that map comfortable in one hand ?

  19. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Coat

    That depends

    The flight pattern of passing swallows is too good for you, eh?

    Do they carry coconuts?

  20. Truth4u

    was this supposed to be an article?

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      >> was this supposed to be an article?

      It is an article. No supposition required.

  21. elenora

    Sensible conclusion at least

    At least the last part of the article makes sense. It is about time people started to realise that smartphones are becoming too useful to rely on connectivity for everything. I want smart phones to become smarter and have more local functionality and storage without using the cloud. The trouble is the manufacturers are in league with people who have an interest in controlling and monitoring our every move, like Google, Apple, Amazon and many more. I am waiting for a backlash, but too many users are already in hock to Facebook etc.

    Is there any chance that minority phones from the like of Jolla, Firefox or even Ubuntu could give us back some control?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021