back to article Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chickpea stew à la Bureau des Projets Spéciaux

As winter tightens its frosty grip across the land, and a chill wind bites hard to the quick, the moment has arrived to contemplate a hearty post-pub dish designed to fill bellies on a budget and warm the cockles of the heart. So hereforth, mes amis, we present for your dining pleasure our very own Special Projects Bureau …

  1. Pen-y-gors

    Garlic optional?

    Looks and sounds rather delicieuse. But how on la Terre can le garlic be considered optionell? It's foreign - garlic is mandatory!

    1. ashdav
      Pint

      Re: Garlic optional?

      It's not "le garlic".

      It's "ail".

      Have one on me.

    2. Alister

      Re: Garlic optional?

      It's not le garlic, it's "avec"...

      All Quirmian food has "avec"

  2. sad_loser
    WTF?

    WTF ???

    Schoolboy error here I'm afraid

    fry the pancetta,onion chilli and spices first.

    Then tip in one's precooked garbanzos and some fresh tomato.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: WTF ???

      Hmmm...

    2. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: WTF ???

      And the panchetta rind - chop into bits and fry before eating the bugger like pork scratchings.

      The thing about these kind of ragouts is the more flavourful fat the better.

    3. JDC
      FAIL

      Re: WTF ???

      Not in a Spanish chickpea stew you don't.

  3. Buiatra

    joder que hambre...

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Te invitaría a comer, pero lo hemos comido todo...

  4. chivo243 Silver badge
    Joke

    Beer?

    Isn't beer a liquid requirement in all stews? Or is it only Irish stew?

    Have a pint all! The weekend is upon us.

    1. Simon Harris
      Happy

      Re: Beer?

      One of the nice things about visiting my mum when she's making stew... there's always some Guinness going spare in the kitchen. Half in the stew, half in my tummy.

  5. ISYS
    Pint

    Tres enticing

    This looks delicious

    It might even be an acceptable remplacant for Poisson pane entre deux tranches de pain.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tres enticing

      Avec la crème anglaise?

      1. ashdav

        Re: Tres enticing

        Non. creme salade.

  6. Little Mouse Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Fusion Cooking?

    Blimey - You've gone all Masterchef on us! Looks yum though.

    Next week, the Curry Pizza?

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Fusion Cooking?

      "Next week, the Curry Pizza?"

      Our local pizza emporium sells Kebab Pizza!!! Fan-Bloody-Tastic!!! Capitals obligatory!! The kebab meat pokes up through the cheese and goes crispy. Only bacon can surpass this culinary masterpiece.

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Re: Fusion Cooking?

        Kebab pizza? We'll have some of that.

        1. Vincent Ballard

          Re: Fusion Cooking?

          You used to be able to get kebab pizza in Consum, but they've stopped doing it. Obviously didn't sell well in Spain.

  7. TitterYeNot
    Mushroom

    Après bière?

    Hmmm, don't get me wrong, it sounds délicieux, but spicy sag aloo and chickpeas après bière?

    For the morning after, I'm thinking at least 7 on the Richter scale, divorce, and I hesitate to guess at the radius of the exclusion zone. And what about the risk of the Curiosity rover on Mars getting a good whiff of the ensuing methane and buggering up the search for life...

    1. ashdav
      Pint

      Re: Après bière?

      So what's not to like?

  8. Mephistro

    A suggestion

    Lester, please include 'fabada asturiana' in your next post-pub article. That is, if you survived the chickpeas.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: A suggestion

      Yeah, fabada, I made one once. Top nosh. I'll see what I can do after the chickpeas have done their worst...

    2. Buiatra

      Re: A suggestion

      Or you can try our local "Judion del Barco"

  9. emmanuel goldstein

    where's my LOHAN patch?

    I was responsible for the least voted-for LOHAN flight message and was promised a badge/patch thing. Come on Lester, follow through on your promises.

    Top nosh recipe, reminds me of a cassoulet.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: where's my LOHAN patch?

      If you remind me of what that was all about I will indeed sort you out. Blame my advanced years, memory's not hat it was, and with this dicky wooden bladder...

      1. emmanuel goldstein

        Re: where's my LOHAN patch?

        many thanks for sorting that.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: where's my LOHAN patch?

          A pleasure, mon ami.

  10. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Fusion cooking for one night only

    Sweet and sour haggis - brilliant for chinese burns night!

  11. OzBob

    Nice to see Juno MaGuff is getting work

    after "Inception".

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Nice to see Juno MaGuff is getting work

      We try and help out if we can.

  12. Robert Helpmann??
    Childcatcher

    It's a Crock (Pot)

    Looks like great slow-cooker fare. I will have to give it a try next weekend. Thanks!

    1. an it guy
      Mushroom

      Re: It's a Crock (Pot)

      agreed. my thoughts exactly. was just trying to work out the inevitable 'how long' question, but hey, where's the fun in that?

      flame, because it depends on how much chilli one inflicts on oneself

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Based on a traditional Spanish concoction

    Very loosely based on so just as well the name has been frenchified because no half decent Spaniard would want to put their name to that in the same sentence as cocido. About the only similarity is the chickpeas. Panceta? Oregano? No bone, no jamon serrano, no gallina, no tocino... I understand all these modifictaions have been made to reduce the scum but the recipe has been butchered. As for the scum, I always thought my wife removed it because she didn't like the look of it, after all if you throw in a pigs ear for flavour you can't be too worried about a bit of scum souring the stew.

    1. JDC

      Re: Based on a traditional Spanish concoction

      Not to mention cocido requiring "mollycoddling"... Eh? It's a piece of piss to cook, even if you do decide to start skimming off the scum - it's something you do every half hour or so, hardly an effort.

      And I always add salt to the water used to soak the chickpeas, and they turn out fine.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Based on a traditional Spanish concoction

        Update: I asked my wife why she removes scum from cocido and here is her reply.

        Because scum is scum. No good.

        It may make the stew sour but in her case there is no reason behind the method other than that.

  14. jake Silver badge

    Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

    Remove rind & discard?

    Heathen.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

      Actually no - "remove rind and feed to dogs" would be more accurate.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

        ""remove rind and feed to dogs""

        Oh. You don't know how to make pancetta. Thank you for the clarification. When done right, it's all human food.

        But BOILING preserved pork? Would you boil jamón ibérico or jamón serrano? And which part of either of these would you feed to the dawgs?

        1. A K Stiles
          Coat

          Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

          I'd feed all of them to the dogs - or the cats - (well actually I'd just not buy them in the first place) but then I've always been a bit strange like that - not even tempt-able by a bacon sandwich. More bizarrely, it isn't even for religious or moral reasons.

          I know, I know - getting my coat already - but if you stop and think about it for a second - it just means there's more bacon for the rest of you!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

      Jake, a lump of jamon serrano is boiled in a full cocido so yes you do boil the stuff.

      Panceta is the correct spelink.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

        Occasionally you'll boil the small-end of the ham in a soup or stew so as to not waste the wonderfulness that is pig. But it's not really a major part of Cozido.

        "Panceta is the correct spelink."

        Not where I make it.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

          Every cocido I've had made by kosher Spaniards has had a proper lump of serrano in it, not just a scrag end. I doubt few people in Sonoma are an authority on Spanish spelling so consider that a free lesson on how it should be spelt.

          1. Professor Clifton Shallot

            Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

            "Every cocido I've had made by kosher Spaniards has had a proper lump of serrano in it"

            Well, that might depend on just how kosher, they are!

            According to some of the internets cocido does have its origins in the Jewish community but presumably without the porkiness.

          2. jake Silver badge

            @Chris W (was: Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?)

            "few people in Sonoma are an authority on Spanish spelling"

            Uh ... OK. If you say so. Might want to look up and understand the meaning of "Alta California". And then come visit my foreman, whose family has been here for at least seven generations.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: @Chris W (was: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?)

              >come visit my foreman

              No need, I can talk to my wife whose family has been here for umpteen generations.

            2. AceRimmer

              Re: @Chris W (was: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?)

              panceta

              panceta

              panceta

              Or pancetta if you're Italian (or Jake)

              1. Vincent Ballard

                Re: @Chris W (was: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?)

                panceta is the most authoritative reference for the Spanish spelling.

  15. Extra spicey vindaloo

    Soak the ... over night!

    I thought that this series was about food that you could knock up after comming back from the pub!

    1. Simon Harris

      Re: Soak the ... over night!

      I think the 'heating it up in the microwave' is the bit you do after the pub.

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Re: Soak the ... over night!

        Exactly.

  16. Jedit Silver badge
    Joke

    What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

    El Reg evidently won't pay to have a garbanzo bean in their mouths.

    (I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

      That's a blatant mis-use of the joke alert icon but more over, how long have you bean waiting for a chickpea article in an IT rag so you can use that line?

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