Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

Icelandic beer botherer Stedji has unsurprisingly rather annoyed conservationists with the imminent release of a winter brew flavoured with smoked whale testicles, Visir reports. The "Hvalur 2" brew comes on the heels of last winter's successful Hvalur ("Whale") concoction, which contained "among other things the viscera and …

[Stretch]

Difficult to compare this to the use of Tigers and Rhino parts etc. The animals aren't killed exclusively for the ingredients - they have merely found a use for what would otherwise be thrown away.

For hunting in general I am of the opinion that you should be allowed to catch whatever you like: with your bare hands. Should put a stop to most of this.

[Voland's right hand]

Who told you that it will be thrown away

Whale 'nads, kidney (or to be more exact the glands sitting on top of the kidney in mammals), hypothalamus, pancreas, etc used to go straight into the pharma hormone extraction business.

So this used to be not thrown away - it is about the same evolutionary distance from us as cows, but MUCH bigger volumes to feed into the same process (so even complex protein based stuff like growth factors, etc could be extracted and used in humans). Similarly, other stuff went into cosmetics, etc.

It is thrown away now as a result of conservationists efforts because using it does not pass the cost-benefit and security risk assessment in pharmaceutical companies.

Do not understand me wrong - killing endangered species when there is absolutely no need for it is a CRIME. However, once they are dead, they are dead. So wasting them in this manner only because not a single one of the pharma companies wants to see yet another GreenPeace demo in its parking is a CRIME too.

[Unicornpiss]

Nadweiser?

Heck, I'd be happy to try it. I doubt it will be available in my neck of the woods though.

Seriously though, comparing this as if it's made from other endangered species that are hunted for the value of their pelts, etc. makes no sense. If the Fin whales are hunted to make the beer, then I wouldn't touch it. Since, however, they are already hunted and the brewers are just using leftover parts, this is eminently less wasteful than not making something with them. I don't know how big whale cojones are, but I'd expect you don't need too many to brew even a 5,000-gallon batch of beer.

[Lester Haines]

Re: Nadweiser?

Nadweiser - very good. Award yourself a beer.

[Just Enough]

Re: Nadweiser?

The depressing thing is the ridiculous mania for putting dumb things in beer.

The testicles of a poisonous velociraptor that have spent 70 million years encased in molten gold? Great, that'll have no taste, nutritional or medical value. Perfect for putting into our crappy beer as a pointless marketing angle. You'll get pissed like any other beer, but you can pretend you're imbibing the very essence of a poisonous, golden velociraptor! You must be fearless, rich and powerfully virile!

And not dumb. No, definitely not dumb.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Nadweiser?

"Since, however, they are already hunted and the brewers are just using leftover parts..."

If that argument holds water, then all the miscellaneous body parts from the ongoing slaughter in the Middle East are fair game. Enjoy your Sharia-breaching peasant 'nad flavoured beer. Maybe by the light of a skull table lamp, whilst seated on a human skin covered chair. Maybe tan the faces and sell as kid's halloween masks.

And for that matter, dead bodies, roadkill and surgical amputations the world over.

[lucki bstard]

Re: Nadweiser?

Don't forget the animal rights groups (PETA ALF etc) only go after soft targets. They won't go into a area which actually puts them in danger.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Nadweiser?

Yeah, sure--it's ALF who are the cowards, not the omnicidical "civilized" authoritarians. When's the last time you broke out a dolphin during a civil war?

[lucki bstard]

Re: Nadweiser?

About what you'll expect from a ac, support of ALF... certain irony there

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Nadweiser?

Not a bad idea, all that protein going to waste - num num num

[Triggerfish]

Re: Nadweiser?

Its still an endangered animal, I'd rather see they don't hunt fin whales at all.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Nadweiser?

Dos Pelotas?

If made from penis:

Corona

[chivo243]

Re: Nadweiser?

@Unicornpiss

What would you call beer made from Sperm whale nads? Nadsnadweiser? Just helping the marketing lads here...

[TitterYeNot]

Re: Nadweiser?

I'm surprised the article didn't mention Stedji's other famous cetacean brew, the sperm whale special known as Moby's Dick...

[Martin Budden]

Re: Nadweiser?

Whatever you call it, it's still a load of old bollocks.

[Bassey]

So that's

So, that's why Pete's gone to Iceland!

[Chris G]

Trolls

These guys are just making and publicising this beer for the notoriety. Nothing more

[M. Poolman]

Re: Trolls

Yeah,

Trolls are a big thing in Iceland, which by a funny coincidence is also host to the worlds only Phallological museum (http://phallus.is)

[ukgnome]

Yummy

I like my WhAle with a panda top.

[dogged]

Re: Yummy

They'd better grate some puffin on there or I'm not buying it.

[TRT]

What about the flavour?

I mean, does the addition of 'nads really make a vas deferens to the taste?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: What about the flavour?

Yes. It has a nutty undertone.

[Phil O'Sophical]

Re: What about the flavour?

And is it hand-pulled, or does it come in bottles?

[tony2heads]

Where is Duke Albert of Bavaria when you need him

What about a modern Reinheitsgebot:

"Furthermore, we wish to emphasize that in future in all cities, markets and in the country, the only ingredients used for the brewing of beer must be Barley, Hops and Water. Whosoever knowingly disregards or transgresses upon this ordinance, shall be punished by the Court authorities' confiscating such barrels of beer, without fail."

I am willing to stretch the point for Lambic and Geuze (with wheat) , but smoked whale??

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Where is Duke Albert of Bavaria when you need him

What about a modern Reinheitsgebot:

Gezundheit.

[hi_robb]

Hmmm

Please tell me that the brewery has a pub attached called...

"The Prince Of Whales"

/get coats

[Ralph B]

I'm lovin' it

S'funny, innit, McDonald's slips a mouse tail in a burger and all hell breaks loose but these guys stick bits of whale-bollock in their beer and we're all celebrating.

[Irony Deficient]

Re: I’m lovin’ it

Ralph B, why shouldn’t we celebrate complete ingredient disclosure? People who have whale testicle allergies can make a fully informed decision on whether to drink this beer or not.

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you'll find that I am not "right-minded" then.

[Tom 7]

Probably NSFW

http://oglaf.com/panacea/

[frank ly]

Re: Probably NSFW

Thanks for reminding me. I've just caught up with five weeks worth of cartoons.

[Simon Harris]

Arrrrr, that be a right tasty brew...

... 'tis the sea-dog's bollocks.

[Hero Protagonist]

Food pairings

Best served with an assortment of Whizzo chocolates. I'm partial to Crunchy Frog myself.

[Tony Green]

At last...

...someone's come up with a beer even less appealing than Greene King IPA. Though only just...

[Arthur the cat]

Special brew

Which unpleasant bits of what animal is it made from? Ferret anuses?

[skeptical i]

Same joke, different bottle.

"Why was last year's smoky balls brew so nice while this year's is nasty?" asked the customer, to which the barkeep replied "Sometimes the whale wins."

[stringyfloppy]

Does Stedji go into detail on their website as to how they kill the whales? I'd like to know how they kill them, or have them killed so they can cook their testes.

[Vlad]

I'll stick with civet coffee

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak

At least you know where it's been....

[MrDamage]

But.....

After allowing the contents of the bottle to slide onto your throat, do you spit, or swallow?

[Medixstiff]

What no "ballsy move" pun?

[Anonymous Coward]

How do you smoke testicles?

Is it the result of a particularly aggressive wank?

[Dave in the States]

Re: How do you smoke testicles?

Easy to smoke, just very difficult to light.

Mine's the one with the lighter in the pocket.

[Anonymous Coward]

clearly

Made by bellends, with bellends, for bellends.

Bellends.

Balls.

Im done.

[CaptainBanjax]

If the whale...

Has been eating pineapples does that affect the flavour of the beer?

[Misky]

Well it's not so removed from most beers. Isinglass or Fish Swim Bladders are used in the concotion process of most beers and wines these days to get rid of the cloudy look. Nom nom nom

[Sarah Balfour]

Late again, as per usual…

…but, evidently, none of you are aware that Reykjavik is home to the world's first - and, most likely, only - museum of, er, manhood

http://www.phallus.is/en/

It boasts everything from tiny mouse todgers to that of a blue whale.

Don't worry, no creatures were harmed. I didn't even realise 'phallotology' was a Thing. Reckon it'd kill your sex life, it'd be like bringing work home.

Finally, I really think it's high time you instigated the 'Worst Pun of the Week Award' (awarded weekly, on a week-by-week basis)