back to article Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

Icelandic beer botherer Stedji has unsurprisingly rather annoyed conservationists with the imminent release of a winter brew flavoured with smoked whale testicles, Visir reports. The "Hvalur 2" brew comes on the heels of last winter's successful Hvalur ("Whale") concoction, which contained "among other things the viscera and …

  1. Stretch

    Difficult to compare this to the use of Tigers and Rhino parts etc. The animals aren't killed exclusively for the ingredients - they have merely found a use for what would otherwise be thrown away.

    For hunting in general I am of the opinion that you should be allowed to catch whatever you like: with your bare hands. Should put a stop to most of this.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Who told you that it will be thrown away

      Whale 'nads, kidney (or to be more exact the glands sitting on top of the kidney in mammals), hypothalamus, pancreas, etc used to go straight into the pharma hormone extraction business.

      So this used to be not thrown away - it is about the same evolutionary distance from us as cows, but MUCH bigger volumes to feed into the same process (so even complex protein based stuff like growth factors, etc could be extracted and used in humans). Similarly, other stuff went into cosmetics, etc.

      It is thrown away now as a result of conservationists efforts because using it does not pass the cost-benefit and security risk assessment in pharmaceutical companies.

      Do not understand me wrong - killing endangered species when there is absolutely no need for it is a CRIME. However, once they are dead, they are dead. So wasting them in this manner only because not a single one of the pharma companies wants to see yet another GreenPeace demo in its parking is a CRIME too.

  2. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Pint

    Nadweiser?

    Heck, I'd be happy to try it. I doubt it will be available in my neck of the woods though.

    Seriously though, comparing this as if it's made from other endangered species that are hunted for the value of their pelts, etc. makes no sense. If the Fin whales are hunted to make the beer, then I wouldn't touch it. Since, however, they are already hunted and the brewers are just using leftover parts, this is eminently less wasteful than not making something with them. I don't know how big whale cojones are, but I'd expect you don't need too many to brew even a 5,000-gallon batch of beer.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Nadweiser?

      Nadweiser - very good. Award yourself a beer.

    2. Just Enough
      Flame

      Re: Nadweiser?

      The depressing thing is the ridiculous mania for putting dumb things in beer.

      The testicles of a poisonous velociraptor that have spent 70 million years encased in molten gold? Great, that'll have no taste, nutritional or medical value. Perfect for putting into our crappy beer as a pointless marketing angle. You'll get pissed like any other beer, but you can pretend you're imbibing the very essence of a poisonous, golden velociraptor! You must be fearless, rich and powerfully virile!

      And not dumb. No, definitely not dumb.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nadweiser?

      "Since, however, they are already hunted and the brewers are just using leftover parts..."

      If that argument holds water, then all the miscellaneous body parts from the ongoing slaughter in the Middle East are fair game. Enjoy your Sharia-breaching peasant 'nad flavoured beer. Maybe by the light of a skull table lamp, whilst seated on a human skin covered chair. Maybe tan the faces and sell as kid's halloween masks.

      And for that matter, dead bodies, roadkill and surgical amputations the world over.

      1. lucki bstard

        Re: Nadweiser?

        Don't forget the animal rights groups (PETA ALF etc) only go after soft targets. They won't go into a area which actually puts them in danger.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nadweiser?

          Yeah, sure--it's ALF who are the cowards, not the omnicidical "civilized" authoritarians. When's the last time you broke out a dolphin during a civil war?

          1. lucki bstard

            Re: Nadweiser?

            About what you'll expect from a ac, support of ALF... certain irony there

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        Re: Nadweiser?

        Not a bad idea, all that protein going to waste - num num num

    4. Triggerfish

      Re: Nadweiser?

      Its still an endangered animal, I'd rather see they don't hunt fin whales at all.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nadweiser?

      Dos Pelotas?

      If made from penis:

      Corona

    6. chivo243 Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Nadweiser?

      @Unicornpiss

      What would you call beer made from Sperm whale nads? Nadsnadweiser? Just helping the marketing lads here...

    7. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      Re: Nadweiser?

      I'm surprised the article didn't mention Stedji's other famous cetacean brew, the sperm whale special known as Moby's Dick...

    8. Martin Budden Bronze badge
      Coat

      Re: Nadweiser?

      Whatever you call it, it's still a load of old bollocks.

  3. Bassey

    So that's

    So, that's why Pete's gone to Iceland!

  4. Chris G Silver badge

    Trolls

    These guys are just making and publicising this beer for the notoriety. Nothing more

    1. M. Poolman

      Re: Trolls

      Yeah,

      Trolls are a big thing in Iceland, which by a funny coincidence is also host to the worlds only Phallological museum (http://phallus.is)

  5. ukgnome
    Joke

    Yummy

    I like my WhAle with a panda top.

    1. dogged

      Re: Yummy

      They'd better grate some puffin on there or I'm not buying it.

  6. TRT Silver badge

    What about the flavour?

    I mean, does the addition of 'nads really make a vas deferens to the taste?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What about the flavour?

      Yes. It has a nutty undertone.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: What about the flavour?

      And is it hand-pulled, or does it come in bottles?

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. tony2heads
    WTF?

    Where is Duke Albert of Bavaria when you need him

    What about a modern Reinheitsgebot:

    "Furthermore, we wish to emphasize that in future in all cities, markets and in the country, the only ingredients used for the brewing of beer must be Barley, Hops and Water. Whosoever knowingly disregards or transgresses upon this ordinance, shall be punished by the Court authorities' confiscating such barrels of beer, without fail."

    I am willing to stretch the point for Lambic and Geuze (with wheat) , but smoked whale??

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Where is Duke Albert of Bavaria when you need him

      What about a modern Reinheitsgebot:

      Gezundheit.

  9. hi_robb

    Hmmm

    Please tell me that the brewery has a pub attached called...

    "The Prince Of Whales"

    /get coats

  10. Ralph B

    I'm lovin' it

    S'funny, innit, McDonald's slips a mouse tail in a burger and all hell breaks loose but these guys stick bits of whale-bollock in their beer and we're all celebrating.

    1. Irony Deficient

      Re: I’m lovin’ it

      Ralph B, why shouldn’t we celebrate complete ingredient disclosure? People who have whale testicle allergies can make a fully informed decision on whether to drink this beer or not.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think you'll find that I am not "right-minded" then.

  12. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Probably NSFW

    http://oglaf.com/panacea/

    1. frank ly
      Happy

      Re: Probably NSFW

      Thanks for reminding me. I've just caught up with five weeks worth of cartoons.

  13. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Arrrrr, that be a right tasty brew...

    ... 'tis the sea-dog's bollocks.

  14. Hero Protagonist

    Food pairings

    Best served with an assortment of Whizzo chocolates. I'm partial to Crunchy Frog myself.

  15. Tony Green

    At last...

    ...someone's come up with a beer even less appealing than Greene King IPA. Though only just...

  16. Arthur the cat Silver badge
    Alert

    Special brew

    Which unpleasant bits of what animal is it made from? Ferret anuses?

  17. skeptical i
    Devil

    Same joke, different bottle.

    "Why was last year's smoky balls brew so nice while this year's is nasty?" asked the customer, to which the barkeep replied "Sometimes the whale wins."

  18. stringyfloppy

    Does Stedji go into detail on their website as to how they kill the whales? I'd like to know how they kill them, or have them killed so they can cook their testes.

  19. Vlad
    Pint

    I'll stick with civet coffee

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak

    At least you know where it's been....

  20. MrDamage

    But.....

    After allowing the contents of the bottle to slide onto your throat, do you spit, or swallow?

  21. Medixstiff

    What no "ballsy move" pun?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How do you smoke testicles?

    Is it the result of a particularly aggressive wank?

    1. Dave in the States
      Coat

      Re: How do you smoke testicles?

      Easy to smoke, just very difficult to light.

      Mine's the one with the lighter in the pocket.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    clearly

    Made by bellends, with bellends, for bellends.

    Bellends.

    Balls.

    Im done.

  24. CaptainBanjax

    If the whale...

    Has been eating pineapples does that affect the flavour of the beer?

  25. Misky

    Well it's not so removed from most beers. Isinglass or Fish Swim Bladders are used in the concotion process of most beers and wines these days to get rid of the cloudy look. Nom nom nom

  26. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  27. Sarah Balfour

    Late again, as per usual…

    …but, evidently, none of you are aware that Reykjavik is home to the world's first - and, most likely, only - museum of, er, manhood

    http://www.phallus.is/en/

    It boasts everything from tiny mouse todgers to that of a blue whale.

    Don't worry, no creatures were harmed. I didn't even realise 'phallotology' was a Thing. Reckon it'd kill your sex life, it'd be like bringing work home.

    Finally, I really think it's high time you instigated the 'Worst Pun of the Week Award' (awarded weekly, on a week-by-week basis)

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