back to article Lube company merger receiving second 'in-depth' probe

Frustrated after its initial probe into a merger between two lube companies, the UK's Competition Markets Authority wants to push deeper into the decision of the makers of Durex and K-Y to jump into bed together. The two companies agreed to make the corporate entity with one back on 10 March 2014 after Durex maker Reckitt …

  1. wolfetone Silver badge

    Why are they causing this friction? Just let them slip slide along with it.

  2. thomas k.

    was immediately reminded of this

    plenty of compettion unless sanctions prohibit it:

    http://allin1dot.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/kim-jong-un-visited-a-lube-factory-and-of-course-it-became-a-meme.jpg

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Real concerns

    Sheldon Mills, CMA director of mergers, said: "Durex and K-Y are two very well-known personal lubricant brands.."

    He's right. Everyone else is just a johnny-come-lately.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Real concerns

      "Everyone else is just a johnny-come-lately."

      London Rubber Company (Durex) founded in 1915 - not sure when they produced personal lubricants. Vaseline was founded in 1870 and is often treated as a generic term. Johnson's Baby Oil was 1938.

      K-Y jelly was 1904.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Real concerns

        I do not know about the jelly from KY but the vaseline and baby oil would cause ripping rubber and are therefore not suitable substitutes for Durex lubricants.

        1. Amorous Cowherder

          Re: Real concerns

          KY is water based not oil based, that's why it's suitable for use on latex such as johnnies.

          Does anyone use the term "dunkies" for 'em anymore? Just curious.

  4. Little Mouse Silver badge
    Happy

    Swiss Toni

    "In-depth probing is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman....."

    And the rest pretty much writes itself.

  5. MickySlice

    ...

    So many puns, so little time.

  6. billium

    I was looking for the market penetration problems.

    1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

      or ...

      greasing the wheels of something or other

  7. frank ly

    Entendre-Entendre

    See title.

    1. 080

      Re: Entendre-Entendre

      A woman walks into a bar and asks for a Double Entendre, so the barman gave her one.

  8. WillG

    ...

    Slid straight past the article and 'thrust' myself deep into the depths of the comments.....

  9. Alister Silver badge

    There may be no IT angle to this, but the opportunities for El Reg headline writers and commentards are just too many to ignore.

    Ooh, I've managed a whole sentence without once descending the slippery pole into filth...

    Oh, damn.

  10. Alistair
    Coat

    IT angle. Provided.

    El Reg is including articles about personal lubricant.

    I'm dealing with outsourcing issues.

    1. Nick Pettefar

      Re: IT angle. Provided.

      Shouldn't that be tissues?

  11. Bastard-Wizard
    Childcatcher

    I suspect this merger isn't going to go very smoothly...

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      I think one could say that there's some sticky parts..... Perhaps there's still some palms ungreased?

      1. Mike Moyle
        Coat

        Palms, hell...!

        Generally, they grease the whole hand.

        Wait... What were we talking about...?

        oh...

        never mind...

  12. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip

    Hard times

    I guess its back to the cling film and margarine again then, sigh.

  13. Herby

    Just so you know...

    Here in the USA, KY is the state abbreviation for Kentucky. I'll leave out the comments about the kind of residents that live there.

    This article brings out the best in commentards.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Just so you know...

      @Herby

      Deliverance, that is all...

  14. x 7

    whats wrong with good old Swarfega? Nice and slippery and keeps you clean at the same time

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Provision of lube...

    Whatever happens with this merger we all know someone is going to get F****d

    Mine's the one with the 'Reading for Discerning Gentlemen' in the pocket

  16. BruceLeeroy

    KY gets slammed by the FDA and had to remove products from shelves 2 years ago because they wouldnt pay to have the product tested before it went to market and get the required 510k clearance. Then the KY brand is sold to the Durex condom manufacturer which makes it tough for the FDA to go after a European company. Well played Johnson and Johnson, well played.

  17. Mnot Paranoid
    Coat

    I would like to point out that the main ingredients of water-based lube are identical to the base ingredients of e-liquid used in electronic cigarettes. If it's good enough for my genitals, it's good enough for my lungs.

    1. x 7

      So next time you're in bed with the missus she's going to smother your bollox in e-liquid and then set fire to you and enjoy the roasted flavour of the tobacco?

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