back to article OK Google, do I have CANCER?

Google says it is looking to develop a pill that could help detect the early stages of cancer or heart disease. A researcher with the company's Google X project said that the Chocolate Factory's skunkworks is examining how nanoparticles could be used to detect the two potentially fatal illnesses before they get too serious. …

  1. Mark 85

    Ok....

    And all the data would be sent back to the main office... er data center so you can receive appropriate (and paid for) product announcements that might or might not* help.

    *Got to have the disclaimer as I'm sure there's snake oil involved.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't know about this one , trusting google with my health is a hard pill to swallow.(see what I did there?)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes, but ...

      ... but can it be any worse than the NHS stringing you along week after week, month after month until it's too late?

      As happened to my late mother, who might have survived her cancer if we'd known the NHS promises of an operation were pure vapourware, and could have gone abroad or gone private about four months earlier.

      Dunno about google medicine. I guess it could be better or worse than nothing at all, but I can't believe it can be worse than the NHS.

      AC for obvious reasons ...

  3. Grikath
    Boffin

    hmmm...

    Given that the techniques involved have already existed for *at least* 20-odd years ( but, of course, "nano" wasn't a buzzword back then...) , are currently widely in use in diagnostics and fundamental research , and most of all, not in Googles patent portfolio, I have but one question for mr. Thinktank....

    Have you found the common denominator that identifies "cancer cells".. No? Thought not.. Else your smug mug would have been the one getting a Nobel prize this year...

  4. Montreal Sean

    Going to borrow Gatorade's tagline for a moment.

    "Google. Is it in you?"

  5. RyokuMas
    Devil

    I sense a disturbance...

    So - assuming this can be got working - it'll be a pretty safe bet that Google will have a means of tracking who took one of these pills, and their subsequent healthcare.

    Given currently available social networking data and the like, I think it's also safe to assume that Google can figure out connections between people - family, friends etc.

    This allows for a whole new breed of evil. Picture the scene - your dear aunt Mildred takes a Google pill and is diagnosed with (say) early stage liver cancer. You're pretty shaken up by this, as you're close with old Millie. Next day, you're surfing the web - and crazy as it may seem, every other page has ads recommending various products, diets and regimes for avoiding liver cancer. Normally, you ignore those pesky ads, but you can't help think about poor old aunt Millie - is she gonna be ok? Is this a genetic thing? Could I end up with the same problem?

    Next thing you know, your clicking the ads you'd never normally click - or even dropping the Google pill yourself...

    ... and all the while, the Googleborg continue to rub their hands together as yet more data and revenue pour into their coffers to fund their next round of lobbying against privacy legislation...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I sense a disturbance...

      Exactly, I can't see someone like google simply dumping money into this without trying in someway to recoup some type of data to use to get money. Yeah, tin foul hat time but seriously, this is what I think of google. They are the Microsoft of the 21rst century. Apple isn't too far behind. I know people will disagree and I'll meet halfway by saying, yeah these companies have come a long way, their products are so well designed that they literally have been integrated into peoples lives, but every time I read an article about them it has to do with privacy, and it damn sure seems intentinal. How can such a a large group of people go from concept to final product, and again, their products are great, and leave such obvious gapping holes, backdoors, leaks.

      This is really something that bugs me, how fast this technology did become a part of our lives and how many people simply don't care about the information of their personal lives is taken. Would some of us older hats trust "the Microsoft pill"?

  6. Elmer Phud

    Aaargh.

    What with on-line self-diagnosis and self-medication this is a dream for the hypochondriac.

    Use a smart (?) watch as a reader and use the SnakeOil.con app to automatically order whatever meds you really don't need.

    As this use nano-tech is it applicable to homeopathic diagnosis?

    Is there nano-snake oil?

    1. David Pollard

      Re: Aaargh.

      Is it applicable to homeopathic diagnosis?

      Perhaps there is a previously undiscovered aspect of Moore's Law here.

  7. Jedit Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    As if our privacy wasn't being invaded enough

    "I'm sorry, Mr Jedit, but you have colon cancer."

    "How do you know? I haven't been in for a check."

    "Google have extended the range of their search engine."

    Keep multinational corporations out of my rectum!

  8. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Joke

    And before you know what's happened...

    You're 7 of 9

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And before you know what's happened...

      And before you know what's happened... You're 7 of 9

      Nah, I'd know straight away if I got turned into Jeri Ryan - I'd have been in the bath for about 3 days deleriously rambling things like "Cool, they float" and "Happy happy happy".

      (The joke icon is hiding behind the mask)

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    <ok Google, do i have Cancer?

    Yes.....Yes you do Mr Tony Blair.....you're going to fucking DIE!!!!........oh!, you've got mail.

  10. garden-snail
    Go

    Please...

    "Conrad believes that the nanoparticles could then be attracted via magnets in a wearable device or other implement"

    My vote is for "other implement"...

    http://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/StarTrek-Medical-Tricorder-Prop.jpg

  11. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Big Brother

    And the next step?

    Everything you think do and say, is in the pill you took today.

    By 3535 at a guess.

  12. Turtle

    Blue Sky, NanoCandy.

    "Google says it is looking to develop a pill that could help detect the early stages of cancer or heart disease."

    I don't have access to the article's source (WSJ behind a paywall) so I can't look for myself, but is this just blue-sky bullshit of the kind that Google seems to emit on a regular basis to give people (and the stock market, no doubt) the idea that they are going to save humanity but then is quietly forgotten, or is there real workable technology behind this?

  13. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    Redefining Google's core mission

    .... since previously, "I'm feeling lucky" meant you thought you had a good chance of finding what you were looking for.

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