back to article Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know

Apple Watch? Bah humbug. Bonk to pay? Boring. So what's the real Apple news today, you ask? Well, the birthplace of one of world's most famous pieces of fruit is up for a prestigious award. No, not the garage where Steve Jobs smoked joints and watched Woz the Great and Powerful build the first ever Apple computers. We're …

  1. Velv
    Devil

    While not a tree in Britain, has anyone put the original apple tree on a map yet?

    You know, the one Eve took an apple from 9,000 years ago. Must be quite a tourist attraction, the source of everything we are and know...

    1. Alister Silver badge

      has anyone put the original apple tree on a map yet?

      Didn't it drown in the great flood?

    2. Rustident Spaceniak
      Angel

      Not a tree in Britain?

      Disclaimer: The following is not an earnest discussion of a theological subject.

      You don't know - the location of Eden in Mesopotamia is by inference at best. It might well have been someplace in Hampshire.

      1. Phil Endecott

        Re: Not a tree in Britain?

        > someplace in Hampshire.

        And you want to phone your mother and say,

        "Mother, I can never come home again,

        'cause I seem to have left an important part of my brain somewhere,

        Somewhere in a field in Hampshire."

      2. Trigonoceps occipitalis Silver badge

        Re: Not a tree in Britain?

        When Adam and Eve were dispossessed of the garden hard by Heaven

        They built another one in the West

        'Twas Devon, glorious Devon

    3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      As far as I am aware, there is nothing in the Old Testament that says it was supposed to be an apple tree, and given that those particular writings originated in the Middle East, it's generally accepted amongst people who are capable of studying ancient texts without taking them literally to be referring to a pomegranate.

      You're better off not trying to have that conversation with anyone who literally believes in what is written in the bible, however. It turns out you can think, or believe, but not both...

      1. Rustident Spaceniak
        Windows

        In fact, the reason that it's usually depicted as an apple tree might have something to do with the Latin word for it - malus means apple, but also bad.

        But back to the original topic: It's astonishing when you make a quick google search for historic trees in Britain, how many different and fascinating results you get. Wonder if there's a market there for a book telling the story of the land by its arboreal reference points.

      2. ElReg!comments!Pierre
        Devil

        Not to mention of course that the tree part is merely a symbol; it's really about sin, and Eve (the evil alluring whore, no doubt wearing a thong and micro-skirt) tempting Adam (the spotless and ever-virtuous) to commit the unforgiveable: sex for the fun of it.

        Or so I'm told by people more knowlegeable in these matters than I am.

        1. Chicken Marengo
          Paris Hilton

          >>Eve (the evil alluring whore, no doubt wearing a thong and micro-skirt) tempting Adam (the spotless and ever-virtuous) to commit the unforgiveable: sex for the fun of it.

          Where do I sign up?

    4. malle-herbert
      Facepalm

      9,000 years ?

      I thought those creationists believed the earth to be about 6,000 years old ?

    5. strum

      Youn do realise that Adam & Eve were the first not to read the apple terms & conditions...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Flower of Kent?

    Funny, I thought that was a pub?

  3. EddieD

    Pedant alert

    "...has been placed on a list of Britain's top 10 trees."

    with a link to:-

    http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/oct/27/englands-top-10-trees-shortlisted-for-tree-of-the-year

    England is /not/ synonymous with Britain.

    1. wikkity
      Joke

      Re: England is /not/ synonymous with Britain.

      Of course it is, the referendum is over and they voted to stay. We can continue our disregard for them. I'm sure there was someone else involved with our island, can't remember now.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Pedant alert

      "England is /not/ synonymous with Britain."

      You're assuming that Scotland or Wales have any decent trees. In this case The GB list might be identical to the England list. There may even be an Ireland list so we can bring UK into the debate :)

      1. EddieD

        Re: Pedant alert

        I wondered who would ask this...

        Oldest tree: Llangernyw Yew, Wales

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llangernyw_Yew

        The Fortingall Yew, Scotland, may be a possibility for this too

        Tallest tree: Reelig Glen, Scotland

        http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/tallest-tree-in-britain-found-in-highland-glen-1-3353599

  4. i like crisps
    Thumb Up

    Old Knobbley. Old Knobbley...

    ...so good you used it twice. Old Knobbley, Old knobbley its very,very nice.

  5. stringyfloppy

    I'm shocked!

    It was very rude to call tree specialist Jill Butler "old."

  6. JamesPond
    Holmes

    Not the tallest for much longer

    The Wllingtonia or as Americans call them, Sequoia (giant redwood) at Benmore Botanic Gardens in Scotland will (eventually) outstrip the native British trees, and apparently, the native US trees.

    http://www.monumentaltrees.com/en/content/benmore/

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