back to article gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

Rapper and business mogul has announced plans to release a new piece of wrist-based, wearable technology. Bearing the semi-eponymous name i.amPULS, it will allow the wearer to make calls without using a mobile phone. The diminutive colossus of pop appeared at a distinctly unglamorous Salesforce conference in San …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Going by the vid..

    so long as your wrist is exactly the same diameter as his, it should fit.

    As for my scrawny arms, it'll end up at my elbow every time I raise my hand.

  2. Crisp

    "I built something" he announced.

    Did he?

    I have a hard time believing that he actually built the thing.

  3. Sporkinum
    1. Graham Marsden

      Re: A bit heavy?

      Don't start something...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Looking forward to Mr Dabbs' review of the product.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just like Dr Dre or whatever

    it refers to itself as, these will be a pointless piece of crapology endorsed by a an equally crap "star" that the gullible fools will be falling over themselves to obtain...

    Until the next big thing in (C)rap(ping) technology appears..

    Destined to be filed under "B".

  6. Andrew Jones 2

    It's also on O2 in the UK.

    But clearly it's what we have all been crying out for -

    first it's tablets with a data contract

    now it's watches with a full blown phone contract.

    Yup - just what I need 3 mobile contracts to pay for every month.

    No thanks. WiFi Tablet, Android Wear will do me fine. Happy with just one mobile contract thanks all the same.

    1. Rebajas

      Whoa, chill - your Wifi tablet and watch will still exist if some one brings out something different... there are other people out there, you know?

    2. ZillaOfManilla

      If only you could have 1 contract with multiple devices that share the contract!

      It would be great for the customer but bad for the carriers so no chance of that happening :(

      1. Vector

        re: Multiple Devices

        Better yet, how about one device that connects to the cellular network which all your other devices can use for access?

        Oh, but that will cost you extra because of all the additional data you're using on your capped data plan.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: re: Multiple Devices

          Remarkabley I have one (as I assume you do as well) my phone. Why oh why oh

  7. NoneSuch Silver badge

    Will.I.Am tends to succeed and to be fair they said negative things about Beats audio when it first came out.

    As a standalone device it may have a chance. Will have to wait and see what it looks like and how it operates, but counting him out before it even hits the market is a bad play.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Beats Audio

      Still overpriced nonsense worse than some £2 and £10 no-name gear.

    2. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Thumb Up


      For all the people like to have a bash at Will, he has achieved some good things.

      For one, when he managed to drag himself out of the ghetto, he dragged the rest of his family out with him. He also then went back to the ghetto and built a car factory there so that other people in the ghetto could get out. One of his cars looked like it had white-walled tyres - but they were alloys - that's pretty cool.

      Being a fellow ADHD sufferer, I know that not everything one does is a success - but it is often a trait of ADHD that you keep trying and never give up - that makes for a pretty good role model when compared to a lot of other 'stars' as far as I'm concerned.

      Some of the things he says are a bit cringe-worthy admittedly, but overall I reckon he's one of the good guys*.

      *Having said that, I should also point out his gross mistake in saying ""I hope none of the kids I send** to school only want to do music. The world doesn't need another musician. They need another Bill Gates"

      **He set up a non-profit organisation to pay for schooling for kids - so again, some good with the bad :)

  8. ukgnome


    More like naff.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: DAF?

      Or DIAF...

      1. TwistUrCapBack

        Re: DAF?

        or just plain DAFt ?

  9. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip


    PULS must be an acronym for something but I cant work it out, can anyone help?

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: i.amPULS

      No acronym. Just a rapperist way of saying "I am a bean" (or "I am a lentil")...

      1. John Tserkezis

        Re: i.amPULS

        "Just a rapperist way of saying "I am a bean" (or "I am a lentil")..."

        Is that a way of saying you fart a lot?

    2. frank ly

      Re: i.amPULS

      Puffed Up Loquacious Singer?

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: i.amPULS

        Spell checker not working?

        " gets CUFFED "

        1. wowfood

          Re: i.amPULS

          Probably Useless Lacking Sophistication.

    3. Anonymous Coward

      Re: i.amPULS Probably Useless Like Surface

      1. Only me!

        Re: i.amPULS

        Put myself on the line here..................

        This looks like as good a go as anyone else. Lasts more than a day and a "phone"

        Ok I will not be buying one any time soon, but if you had a gun to your head and asked to pick a "New tech watch" you might just go for this one.

        Surface is actually a great bit of kit. (no up down votes on this comment please....its about the watch...cuff!)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: i.amPULS

          Also to be fair, my only experience with a Surface was a client who bought one, brought it in and said "Can you please install my copy of Office 2010 on it please".



          "Because it's Windows RT".

          "How about my other software?"


          "Why? It's Windows isn't it?"


          Ps I understand there is a way of installing non-windows store software, but I've not tried it, nor am I brave enough to try it, let alone support it.

  10. turnip handler


    "You don't have one pair of shoes or jeans." Really???

    I'm not sure that he is trying to reach The Register audience...

    1. wowfood

      Re: Fashion

      I have two pairs of jeans, they're exactly the same though. Gotta wear something while the other pair is in the wash.

  11. Daedalus

    Bling bling

    I always thought the hip-hop style was big, gold, and worn around the neck.

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Re: Bling bling

      About time Flava Flav got into the wearable tech market. I can see it now...

      The flavWatch redifines the concept of the watch, as it is suspended from the users neck. It also emphaises its form, by being much larger than competitors' devices. Rather than incorporating WiFi, 4G, or fitness monitoring, it is a single function device - it tells you the time, upside-down.

      Yeah, boieee!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Bling bling

        About time Flava Flav got into the wearable tech market. I can see it now...

        The flavWatch redifines the concept of the watch, as it is suspended from the users neck.

        Actually, that could be practical. It doesn't have to fit in a pocket so the screen can be larger. The battery can also be larger, so better battery life. Since it is hanging around your neck, it's in convenient range for answering calls or checking messages.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Bling bling

      big, gold, and worn around the neck

      Why thank you. I shall market this idea forthwith. The gold bling-phone that you wear. But who wants stuff weighing down their wrist? Who can be bothered to hold their arm up to their mouth to talk into it? Who wants to look like David Hasslehoff in Knight Rider?

      Welcome to the new: Torq

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just too bad..

    I stopped wearing watches when I started carrying a phone around since it also displayed the time.

    So yah, definitely not planning on picking up on some wrist thing (again).

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Just too bad..

      Ah, but now you could stop carrying your phone around, and start wearing a watch that tells the time and is a phone. Well I say watch, obviously Will.I.punctuate tells me to say cuff. This is down to the mobile company's 15 year contract...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'll stick to my Cartier Pasha, thanks.

    It's a beautiful watch and does two simple things superbly. Tells the time and Date.

  14. Alistair


    DrDre and lousy acoustics. and

    what next?

    I Gotta Feeling this will be sold soon.

  15. Simon Harris

    4kW of D.A.F.

    I googled it instead of following the link and came to the conclusion it must come with a built in lorry starter motor!

    1. DrGoon

      Re: 4kW of D.A.F.

      I was dismayed that we will not be seeing tanz den Mussolini.

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

  17. Omgwtfbbqtime

    Just a pity he hasn't invented the i.gag

    Or is that the next apple product?

    1. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip

      Re: Just a pity he hasn't invented the i.gag


  18. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    I like his shoes that weigh the person wearing them. Do you think it speaks your weight, or upadates an app?

    At 08:00:00 you weigh 16 stone, you fat bastard.

    At 08:00:02 you weigh 16 stone, you fat bastard

    At 08:00:04 you weigh 16 stone, you fat bastard.

    At 08:00:06 you weigh 15... Nah only kidding. You weigh 16 stone, you fat bastard. Why haven't you lost any weight yet?

    at 08:00:08am you weigh 16 stone and 2oz. Have you just bought a Twix?

    At 08:00:20am I am walking to work barefoot as I have thrown my shoes in the nearest bin

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      walking to work? Who are you trying to kid, you fat bastard

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Oy! I resemble that remark!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You can get this kind of thing from Chinavasion for very few pennies.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He reminds me of Ronnie Corbett.

    1. toxicdragon


      He sits in a chair and tells pointless stories that dont go anywhere? And is unable to act like he knows which way up a musical instrument goes?

  21. Frankee Llonnygog

    Mr I AM

    May I offer a suggestion? Fur cuff

    My kitties love the cat food, by the way

  22. Simon Harris

    ... the 'artist' now known as an Armenian URL.

  23. adrianww

    4kW of...

    Actually, I almost got it right without following the link. Except I thought the 'D' stood for 'Daft'.

    Close though...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    so just like his "car company"?

    more talk about something old, made uglier, and never doing more than produce a one-off that everyone ridicules?

  25. Strudel

    Accidentally appropriate acronym?

    I presume D.A.F is referring to Dissolved Air Floatation, everyone's favourite method of ensuring the the crap rises to the surface in your water treatment plant/ technology venture.

  26. Steven Raith - cuff?

    I dunno about that, but he can gladly 'koff as far as I'm concerned.

    Steven R

  27. Phil W


    "I built something that fits on your wrist, and you don't need a phone to make it work,"

    So you built a smart device that runs apps, connects to a mobile network and makes phone calls that goes on your wrist. What you've got there Mr AM is a phone, with a strap (sorry, cuff) on it.

    So what you're telling us is, you've made a phone "and you don't need a [another] phone to make it work,"

    Congratulations on this groundbreaking work, no longer will we all need to a second phone to make our first phone work.

    1. Purple-Stater

      Re: Definition

      Really, this just sums up everything that needs to be said, exactly the way that it needs to be said. Brilliant!

  28. Anonymous Coward

    a bit larger please

    I like it but invariably what I like gets discontinued or cancelled, so what do I know.

  29. WonkoTheSane

    Nothing is new under the sun

  30. bernmeister

    4kW of DAF seems to be related to a truck starter motor! Any more ideas?

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