back to article Take THAT, hated food! It's OVER, tedious chewing! Soylent strikes back with version 1.1

Soylent, the venture-funded startup that promises to free humanity from the hated burden of eating, has updated the formula of its mail-order nutrient gloop. "We have made two changes to the 1.0 formula, resulting in a food with greater neutrality and digestibility (as indicated by preliminary tests)," the company proclaimed …

  1. Neoc

    No.

    Damnit, I don't want Soylent White; I want my Soylent Green!

    1. gotes

      Re: No.

      I think that's due in about 8 years...

  2. Neoc
    Trollface

    "Soylent 1.0's effect of having him "out-gassing more, and the resultant emissions are noxious.""

    Version 1.0: Soylent but deadly.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Soylent, but violent, isn't it?

  3. Mark 85 Silver badge

    I'll wait until it come out in Bacon Sarnie flavor... grease and all. Better yet, I'll skip the Soylent go for the sarnie.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      A useful reminder. I have bacon in the fridge, but no bread - and no time to make any as I've got friends over for dinner tonight. So if I wish to feast on breakfast bacon butties tomorrow, I'll need to get some in.

      As for soylent green, bleurgh! If I'm going to eat long pig, I may as well enjoy it in a long-bacon bap, or have it with apple sauce and roast tatties. If over-population is going to force us into cannibalism, then I for one do not intend to drop my standards, but to continue to enjoy my meals. "Eating" this is strictly fo rmy old age, when I'm no longer able to chomp through proper food, by which time I will of course have been shuffled off to the great Soylent Green factory myself - and so won't have to worry about it.

      Is my memory failing me or was Soylent Green not shaped rather like a large bar of chocolate, only green coloured obviously?

      1. launcap Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        > So if I wish to feast on breakfast bacon butties tomorrow, I'll need to get some in

        M&S do some olive and chilli chiabattas that go fairly nicely with good bacon..

        Hmmm.. bacon...

  4. JLV

    Not half a bad idea, if it delivers

    Hey, I like food and can cook fairly well. French origins. And believe deeply in watching one's diet.

    But sometimes you can't be bothered to cook, nor do you want to eat greasy unbalanced fast food. Just wanna pass by the pump.

    If, and that's a big if, Soylent (takes cojones to use that name) delivers on healthy, why not fuel up with their goop from time to time?

    Am also a big believer in food contrast. If you eat lobster all the time, what's special about lobster? Eat simple most of the time, splurge as much as you can. This stuff sounds like it would even make a wonderbread & velveeta sandwich seem foodie.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Old Handle
    Facepalm

    Still got the fish oil, though? I'll pass.

  6. dan1980

    The real marketing opportunity here is the add-on flavours.

  7. Youngdog

    Yeah I might give it a bash

    Couple of scoops of cookies'n'cream whey powder thrown in, serve chilled and keep popping the martins. As long as you take some daily exercise this could be a doddle.

  8. baseh

    Soylent 1.x

    Is this some sort of April's Fool joke ahead of time?

  9. returnmyjedi

    Completely misread the title

    I didn't spot the comma and thought it was an article about the 75% tax dodging forget boy band hatred of masticating.

  10. Frankee Llonnygog

    It's very useful that there are such strong signifiers for ...

    ... people to avoid getting at all cost

  11. Proud Father

    Remember the film?

    Somebody needs to pop along and check on the ingredients.

  12. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    So sad...

    It's kind of sad and disappointing to know that there are people in the world for whom eating is an unbearable chore and who would be prepared to voluntarily give up the taste, texture and flavours of the real food in order to replace eating with refueling (can't stand to be distracted from their Playstations or XBoxes or what??). Maybe an IV feed would suit them even better?

    To me - the number of meals I will ever have in this life is finite and I'll try to enjoy every last one of them...

    1. auburnman

      Re: So sad...

      I don't know, I think in a world where junk food is so pervasive and aggressively marketed I think it's good that people struggling to lose weight have an option to go "Cold Turkey" on flavour. Obviously it's not for everyone, but if it's doing no harm, more power to them.

      1. Shrimpling

        Re: So sad...

        I try to live my life by the Fuzzy Pink Niven's Law: Never waste calories.

        "Potato chips, candy, whipped cream, or a hot fudge sundae may involve you, your dietician, your wardrobe, and other factors. But FP's Law implies: Don't eat soggy potato chips, or cheap candy, or fake whipped cream, or an inferior hot fudge sundae."

        1. Gene Cash Silver badge

          Re: So sad...

          Hell yeah. For breakfast today I made a salmon-with-cracked-pepper melt on Italian 5 grain toast with some nice sharp cheese.

          Obviously I discovered last week you can get salmon encrusted with pepper, cooked and shrinkwrapped in small chunks at the grocery store. Pretty tasty.

          I can't make anything other than sandwiches but I make damn good ones.

          1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

            Re: So sad...

            Talking of salmon...

            Mix a table spoon of assorted spices (ground peppers, paprika, allspice, nutmeg - proportions to taste) with two tbsp of salt and one of sugar.

            Take a good fresh ("fresh" is really important here) raw salmon steak, wash well, rub the spice mix into it from all sides generously, put it in a self-sealing plastic bag under some weight, keep overnight at room temperature. In the morning, put it in the fridge after draining any accumulated liquid from the bag. Ready to eat when you're back home in the evening.

            Also works great with herrings.

      2. Tom 7 Silver badge

        Re: So sad... Cold Turkey on flavour...

        so no flavour no chewing - no reason to stop until you bloat.

        That's really not going to help anyone trying to diet.

    2. phuzz Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: So sad...

      It's not eating I don't like, it's cooking. Mind you, I don't get as exciting about putting things in my mouth as some people seem to, in twelve hours it's going to be shit anyway, so who cares if it's foie gras or a protein stick?

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    choosing to customize the flavor profile

    i.e. they don't like the taste, so they slap some ketchup on? Or some Lee and Perrins, or some sweet chilli, or *anything* to make it taste better?

    Does it cost less than a quid a day? Lester!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    An old marketing tactic...

    In a few months time they will be able to release Soylent Classic...

    1. Trigonoceps occipitalis Silver badge

      Re: An old marketing tactic...

      And then the one no one buys, Soylent Metro.

  15. jake Silver badge

    Why do people[1] continue to insist ...

    ... that trying to remove the good things from life is a good idea?

    [1] For sub-human values of "human", of course ... religions, governments, marketing, insurance companies, etc.

  16. CArguin

    Need to speed up deliveries

    I figured I'd give it a try and put in my order... back in June. I got an email apologizing for the delay, and expect to see my first package around November!

    Reorders as supposedly faster, but that's a seriously long delay for the initial order. Looks like I'll get the upgraded formula now too.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Need to speed up deliveries

      Sounds like you might die of starvation before it arrives though...

  17. i like crisps
    FAIL

    THE FIRST BITE IS WITH THE EYE

    So, ICON.

    1. breakfast Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: THE FIRST BITE IS WITH THE EYE

      I fairness, given that you're called "i like crisps" it may be that you're not target market for Soylent.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What Marketing Needs To Do Is...

    ...get it on to Masterchef or Bake-Off...or get Nigella Porning all over it.

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Re: What Marketing Needs To Do Is...

      Nigella would probably shove it up her nose.

  19. smartypants

    A friend of mine couldn't eat

    His oesophagus was damaged by disease and as a result, was fed by a tube in his abdomen through which white goo was pumped into his stomach while he slept.

    This was tremendously sad. Being retired, few of life's pleasures remained once you took away the joy of eating and drinking nice things with friends and families. He preferred not to sit at the table when other people ate and drink as he couldn't join in, despite the lovely smells whetting his appetite. What a hell-on-earth.

    I thought Soylent was a piss-take. Now I find it's real. Why would someone choose that over the joy that is real food and drink? I wonder what my friend would make of it. (He's gone now, thankfully out of his misery...)

  20. Yugguy

    Why?

    Just why?

    The only market I can see for this is where you don't have a choice. Expeditions as it is presumably space and weight efficient. Third-world perhaps for the same reason.

    How is this different from a product such as slimfast apart from it has more calories?

  21. Captain Hogwash

    Re: "We think Soylent 1.1 is a solid first step"

    There doing it in bar form now?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Changed the consistency, too?

    We think Soylent 1.1 is a solid first step ...

  23. Securitymoose

    Mixed up humans?

    Do I remember correctly that Soylent Green was actually discovered to be recycled humans, after they had passed their sell-by date? Wasn't that the whole premise of the film? Strikes me as being a bad choice of company name (unless you are a cannibal, serial killer, speed camera operator etc.)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green

    1. Lamont Cranston
      Facepalm

      Re: Mixed up humans?

      Gasp! What a faux-pas!

    2. Oninoshiko
      Boffin

      Re: Mixed up humans?

      yes, but they only went to humans in the "green" form after they couldn't produce enough to satisfy demand from other sources. It starts with soybeans and lentils (hence the name soy-lent), then plankton, then humans.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE. Re. Mixed up humans

    Soylentce of the lambs?

    AC because he can hear the sound of knives being sharpened from here after that last comment...

  25. Persiflage
    Trollface

    The earliest known variety...

    Was after Agincourt, where the wounded and craven hid among the dead: surviving by munching on the corpses of the flower of French chivalry and/or their trusty steeds.

    Thus was born: Soylent Knight.

  26. jzlondon

    Only in America

    The world's first autistic food.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Only in America

      Not so stupid. I work in a dental service for patients with special needs including autism: one of the recent advances is a fluoride toothpaste that tastes of nothing and doesn't foam, designed for people who can't handle the sensory overload of minty frothy stuff. This could provide a balanced, acceptable diet supplement for such people for whom the taste of many foods is a barrier to good nutrition. So although a flippant and frankly derogatory throw-away comment for which I down-voted you, that is a valid use for the product.

  27. John Styles

    Surely?

    Surely this sort of thing already exists for medical purposes?

  28. d2

    yikes! taste is the least problem :

    An in-depth scientific review of sucralose (Splenda) reveals an extensive list of safety concerns, including toxicity, DNA damage, and heightened carcinogenic potential when used in cooking

    When heated, it releases chloropropanols, which belong to a class of toxins known as dioxins. Dioxin—a component of Agent Orange—is among the most dangerous chemicals known to man

    Sucralose can destroy as much as 50 percent of the microbiome in your gut. What’s worse, it appears to target beneficial microorganisms to a greater extent than pathogenic and other more detrimental bacteria

    Both animal and human studies have shown that Splenda alters glucose, insulin and glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1) levels, thereby promoting weight gain, insulin resistance, and type 2 diabetes...

    --Dr Mercola,Science Review Reveals Laundry List of Health Hazards Associated with Splenda Consumption

    http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/12/18/sucralose-side-effects.aspx

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To be fair

    Sugar does all these things, in fact carbonized sugar is incredibly carcinogenic.

    The problem is the amounts being added to food is so high that it becomes a cumulative toxin, manufacturers who try to reduce both it and artificial replacements end up going out of business shortly thereafter.

    Artificial-but-natural sweeteners such as Stevia (steviorgestrol) are a lot less bad, in fact Red Bull are looking into using it for a new "green" lower sugar version of the famous energy drink.

    Maybe the Government should heavily tax unhealthy levels of both sugar and chemical sweeteners, based on current research?

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