back to article Vote NOW for LOHAN's arboreal avoidance algorithm acronym

As we recently reported, Vulture 2 brain surgeons Linus Penzlien and Andrew Tridgell are working on an advanced autopilot arboreal avoidance algorithm to combat the menace of magnetic trees, which prove strangely irresistible to balloon payloads and aircraft. This being LOHAN, tradition dictates that we christen the incredible …

  1. NumptyScrub

    Hang on

    I blatantly plagiarised Sir Sham Cad for mine, if it gets any votes then add them to his total to work out if he should get the stickers :)

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Hang on

      Fair play to you sir, and duly noted.

      1. NumptyScrub

        Re: Hang on

        My original reply was simply an attempt to align his excellent suggestion closer to the known LOHAN parameters regarding undergarments. I'm giving him full credit on that one :)

        1. SuperTim

          Re: Hang on

          I'm afraid I didn't vote for NO:PANTS due to the unnecessary presence of the colon. I admire your Celebrity related undergarment link though, so fair play to you for getting your two-penneth heard.

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Hang on

        I think Numpty Scrub deserves a sticker or two just for showing ethics and fair play.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: Hang on

          Agreed. I will make it happen.

  2. Alister Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Well I voted for ARMADILLO of course, but actually, I hope PANTS gets it, (and I wish I'd thought of it).

  3. Daedalus Silver badge

    Been there done that...

    ...and noticed the amazing lack of trees in the US desert southwest. Perhaps rock avoidance is needed instead?

    1. dotdavid

      Re: Been there done that...

      Pixhawk Avoidance of Rocky Item System

  4. The Bit Wrangler

    Boo!

    Missed the nominations.

    Get Rocket Out Of Trees surely?

  5. breakfast
    Coat

    Not an expert in talented celebrities but...

    If the chances of a safe landing rely on LOHAN's PANTS staying up, I am a little concerned for the playmonaut.

  6. psychonaut

    T - Tree

    O - Or

    S - Something else

    S - Suspicious

    E - Evading

    R - Radar

  7. psychonaut

    or

    Tree!

    Will

    Avoid

    This

  8. psychonaut

    or

    Magnetically

    Induced

    Navigation

    Guidance

    Engine

  9. psychonaut

    im not getting much recently as you can tell

    Flightpath

    Latitude

    Altering

    Navigation

    Guidance

    Equipment

  10. psychonaut

    i'll stop now

    Cunning Unit - No Trees!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the very idea seeing of LOHAN with no PANTS

    Its all just wrong !

  12. ukgnome

    I'm Sad

    that my BAPS didn't make the short list.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: I'm Sad

      Sad but not surprised?

      1. ukgnome
        Angel

        Re: I'm Sad

        Totally surprised - I know you SPB guys are fuelled on bacon baps and strong tea.

        Yeah -------------->

      2. Anomalous Cowturd
        Unhappy

        Re: I'm Sad

        I'm disappointed that my PANTIES were dropped before the race began...

        :o(

    2. joeW

      Re: I'm Sad

      And apparently my DILDO was just a bit too much for LOHAN ;)

    3. Fungus Bob

      Re: I'm Sad

      I'm (pleasantly) surprised that SAMBA made the list. Really just wanted to thank Tridge for making my life easier several years ago when my employer dumped all the IT stuff on me because I could tell the difference between a mouse port and a reset switch.

  13. Sporkinum

    Where are the trees?

    Looks like at the new location, no trees. Just short scrubby bushes. That being said, be sure to visit Alamogordo and go to www.nmspacemuseum.org and white sands. Both things I enjoyed when I was stationed in New Mexico.

    1. Richard Altmann
      Happy

      Re: Where are the trees?

      Lester´s first law of HAB projects: What goes up, must come down ... ending up in a tree.

      Don´t worry, there ain´t no desert rough enough to not produce a Magnetic Tree in the very moment of touch down. There might be an entitiy which is actually positively minded to HABalloners. It provides a soft landing in the foliage of a tree instead of having to witness a rocky crash, smashing the project to bits.

      Just a thought :-)

  14. Pet Peeve

    SAMBA, just for the Tridge symmetry.

  15. ElectricRook
    Thumb Up

    LOHAN has TITS

    T - Terrain

    I - Indicated

    T - Telemetry

    S - System

    Does your orbiter have TITS?

  16. AdamT

    (The) LARCH

    When this choice ultimately wins and "lawndart" and myself get showered with gold coins (or whatever it is that we win) let's hope they can tell the difference between "AdamT" and "Adam T" ...

  17. Dave Walker

    Number 5: The Larch - Almost!

    But BETTYFORD fits the them better, it was a HARD choice.

  18. Richard Altmann

    The

    The

    Wood

    Avoidance

    Technology

  19. Scott451

    I can see the Reg headline now...

    LOHAN avoids encounters with random wood using PANTS!

  20. VeganVegan

    Paris' nimble fingers?

    Avoid

    Laria

    Tridentata*

    -

    Sail

    High

    In

    Flight

    Test

    -

    Don't

    Ever

    Let

    Entangling

    Tree

    Embrace

    * The ubiquitous mesquite bush in the desert

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Best of luck guys

    Although - I'm still vaguely worried about Playmonaut spilling his cup of tea on the electronics tbh! Would more training before launch help :)

  22. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    Number five, the larch

    That's just so wrong. Doesn't anyone know the classics these days?

  23. Francis Vaughan

    Totally past any entry deadline, but based upon the article subheading, this doubly self referential thought came to me.

    Special

    Projects

    Alliterative

    Arboreal

    Avoidance

    Algorithm

    Acronym

    Competition

    Entry

    1. Timmy Cratchit
      Pint

      Bugger! Missed all the fun...

      ...still feel strangely compelled to splaff my spleen into SPAAAAACE* though... so...

      LOHAN's

      Instrument for

      Navigating

      Dendral

      Snarfus by

      Adjustment of

      Yaw

      ...or...

      The

      Implicitly

      Trusted

      Tree

      Identification &

      Evasion

      System

      *Uncanny. Remarkably quiet and lonely around here. In SPAAAAACE no one can hear you splaff :(

    2. Timmy Cratchit
      Alien

      BAAAAAAPS in SPAAAAACE!!!!!!!!one!!!

      Best Arboreal Avoidance Algorithm Achievable After Paltry Spending

      This is so much more fun than doing anything productive.

    3. Timmy Cratchit

      LOHAN, HOHAN

      Heuristic Operations Hamper Arboreal Nastiness

      Oh God. I think I've got psychonaut's disease.

    4. Timmy Cratchit
      Coat

      LOHAN needs REHAB

      Routines for Evading Hazardous Attractive Branches

      OK. No more, I promise 0:)

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      A-LIST

      (The) Andrew-Linus Identification System for Trees

      I wonder if the good Mr Tridgell might be persuaded to change his name to Brian... or Bob... or perhaps Charles...

      (I promised to go away just now, so I've splaffed this anonymously. Cunning, eh?)

  24. Martin Budden Bronze badge

    I don't want any of LOHAN's systems to fail, of course, but there is a part of me secretly looking forward to the tree avoidance system not working so we can get the headline "PANTS down!!!"

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