back to article Comcast merger-bait spinoff to be known as GreatLand Connections

US cable giant Comcast has provided further details on its plans for a spinoff venture designed to coax the Federal Communications Commission to approve its $45.2bn gobble of Time Warner Cable. The company said that the hypothetical spinoff – heretofore variously referred to as SpinCo and Midland Cable LLC – would officially …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Like lopping off an appendix...

    I wouldn't agree to the deal unless Comcast spun off something say NBC Universal, much as Time Warner Cable only shares the name with the greater Time Warner.

  2. Someone Else Silver badge

    Dear DoJ-

    Re GreatLands LLC

    Don't go for it! It is merely a stalking horse. This paper company already has a putative CEO...who, of course, is on Comcast's payroll. Gee, I wonder what this person's loyalty would be once the paper tiger were to be created. Can you say "Stephan Elop"? I knew you could....

    Seem to me that if there must be two major cable companies to maintain the illusion of "competition" in the US market, we already have that: Comcast, and Time Warner Cable. Reshuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic for the purposes of making some high-level execs in these two companies, as well as some no-value-added M&A guys, even more insanely rich than they already are -- all to the detriment of the customers and the general public, serves no purpose whatsoever.

    GreatLands LLC == Epic Fail!

    1. Tom 35

      Re: Dear DoJ-

      They would never put all of their lowest profit, low growth areas into the spin-off would they? Areas that require major investment maybe?

  3. Cipher

    The last and next to last place companys in customer service ratings wish to merge. Customer service is bound to improve, right?

    This merger is not good for consumers and should be nixed...

  4. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Sounds patriotic

    Please don't desecrate our great land with Comcast.

  5. tempemeaty

    ClusterFsck LLC ?

    Hahaha...Comcast will try anything to get a merger. This is "Epic Facepalm™" territory...

    Will the USA's Federal Government, again, show the world that they do not listen to or serve or represent the people/citizens/taxpayers of the USA anymore?

    1. Someone Else Silver badge

      Re: ClusterFsck LLC ?

      Will the USA's Federal Government, again, show the world that they do not listen to or serve or represent the people/citizens/taxpayers of the USA anymore?

      Short answer: Yes.

      Next question?

      1. P. Lee

        Re: ClusterFsck LLC ?

        but...but...but... how could that have happened when we had received assurances?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: ClusterFsck LLC ?

          but...but...but... how could that have happened when we had received assurances?

          What, like this reassuring stuff: "It brings to mind our commitment to connecting people and businesses with terrific products and excellent service in the almost 1000 historic communities – large and small – across the 11 states we will serve."

          Is this what it takes to become a CEO? Spouting meaningless drivel like this? That statement alone would have been enough to wake up anyone to the dangers inherent in the deal (imagine air raid horns and alarm bells go off like in some major SF movie).

          Pass the mind bleach, please.

          1. Someone Else Silver badge

            Re: ClusterFsck LLC ?

            Looks like I will have to get another BINGO card....

  6. OmgTheyLetMePostInTheUK

    The FCC should be splitting Comcast into about 5 parts, and also splitting Time Warner cable into about 4 parts, and then telling them that its free for all time, and that any agreements that major or medium sized cities have with their cable companies must allow unlimited competition between companies.

    Each new company must hire a CEO from outside of either current company, while the current CEO's are randomly assigned to one of the new companies in a lotto run by the FCC. Smaller cities would have to allow unlimited cable company competition within 7 years. None of these newly formed cable companies created in this process could merge or form partnerships for a minimum of 30 years.

    So we would end up with 9 new cable companies, 7 new CEO's (more if these 2 quit and walk away), all with a directive to compete with each other within 3 years. And this would create the competition that we need to get the prices down, speeds up, and better customer service.

    This is what the FCC **should** be doing. Not more mergers to reduce competition.

    1. Charles 9

      The problem is that, unlike in other parts of the world, the USA has a ton of sparsely-populated area. That means running ANYTHING out to The Middle of Nowhere involves a ton of infrastructure costs, to the point there's the risk of a failure to return on investment. Therefore, ANY company that is interested in actually getting there won't do it without an exclusivity contract. It's basically Deal or No Deal.

      IOW, if you prevent contracts of the sort, you run the risk of leaving small communities in the lurch.

  7. Dan Paul

    Real Competition means multiple carriers on on the network

    If you want to foster competition, allow multple carriers just like telephones have.

    One cable, many choices= REAL CHOICE= REAL COMPETITION!!!!!

  8. Peter 39

    two parts will do

    One part will be the ISP assets, regulated. Possibly to include email but nothing additional.

    Second part will be the media assets - TV, video, studios, the lot. And unregulated.

    1. Charles 9

      Re: two parts will do

      The TV part MUST be regulated because NBC Universal contains NBC, one of the three major broadcast networks. Being broadcast, it's subject to FCC regulation.

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