I'd better start taking my vitamins...
Women-only town seeks men
A Brazilian town populated solely by "extremely attractive" women is looking for obedient and well-behaved men to come and, erm, romance them. The 600 women of Noiva do Cordeiro are feeling amorous, but there are simply no chaps about to court them. So they have issued a call for eligible males who think they're man enough to …
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Thursday 28th August 2014 07:05 GMT LarsG
The contract
Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.96
It is compulsory to have sex with me at least 22 times a week.
Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.97
It is compulsory to satisfy my every deviant need.
Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.98
It is compulsory to bring me to an orgasm 98% of the time.
Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.99
Alcohol will be strictly forbidden.
Come on, they'll never find anyone with these onerous contract conditions will they.
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Thursday 28th August 2014 07:13 GMT Anonymous Coward
Simple solution
There are parts of India where there is a significant discrepancy between the number of male babies 'born' 120 to female babies 'born' 100.
In a number of areas the ratio is even worse.
Instead of advertising in Brazil they should be relaxing immigration policy for the Indian subcontinent.
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Thursday 28th August 2014 12:45 GMT VinceH
Re: this sounds like a "you won a $1M dollar, just sign here" deal
"Agree with the "start of a b movie" comment above :P"
Or the start of a classic Carry On Caper!
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Thursday 28th August 2014 09:50 GMT James Micallef
Re: spiders
"the idea that women without men..."
It's clear from one of the quotes that the women do not live without men, just that the men there are either married or closely related.
"...live in harmony"
In a small closed community, there is going to be more resentment under the surface than is apparent because of the necessity to keep good relations with people you depend on. Not sure whether this would be more the case with all-women (or all-men), or whether it's not gender-specific at all.
Adding a few eligible bachelors to a community with a lot of single women could increase that (accusations of 'you're stealing my boyfriend' etc), especially if their stated aim is marriage i.e. exclusivity. On the other hand, there might be just the right proportion that women learn to live together without jealousy, 'sharing' the men among them, or else getting nothing at all - A bit like 'The Moon is a Harsh Mistress', but with genders reversed
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Thursday 28th August 2014 11:16 GMT Craigness
Re: spiders
@james the men are only allowed in on the weekends. Probably to plough the fields, put petrol in the cars, open some jars and give the ladies some d--k.
"Quite a few years ago, I had the pleasure of watching the Dutch version of Survivor (Expeditie Robinson) with my feminist roommate. That particular season would have two islands, one populated by men and one populated by women"
You can tell this is going to be good: http://www.returnofkings.com/32053/this-accidental-experiment-shows-the-superiority-of-patriarchy
Didn't Camille Paglia recently say that if it was left to women we'd still be in mud huts?
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Thursday 28th August 2014 13:23 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: spiders
You can tell this is going to be good: http://www.returnofkings.com/32053/this-accidental-experiment-shows-the-superiority-of-patriarchy
I wonder what the outcome would have been if the women involved had been given survival training - the issue isn't just organisational, it's also having the skills. Having said that, it's been my experience that it's easier to organise men because they're quicker to focus on a common goal, but that could be confirmation bias. Personally I believe a mix is best.
As for the original topic, I suspect they will wish soon that they hadn't advertised as every idiot on the planet is going to descend on them..
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Thursday 28th August 2014 07:34 GMT John Deeb
cult in need of advertising
From The Mirror: The whole town came together recently to help buy a huge widescreen TV for our community centre so we can all watch soap operas together. "And there's always time to stop and gossip, try on each other's clothes and do each other's hair and nails."
They do not really advertise, ehmmm, the romancing part, do they now? Their first catch should be an advertisement guru to create more illusions about wild romances and complex triangles. I mean the article does say they "share everything". Until the snake in paradise enters I suppose: the village will become soaked in blood when jealousy rears its ugly head.
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Thursday 28th August 2014 08:31 GMT Anomalous Cowshed
Beware, O horny IT types!
Bear in mind carefully these clues, as you pack your bags full of condoms and head out to meet the sirens of Brazil's lost city of Amazons for the orgy of the century!
First: the town was founded in 1891
Second: everyone is a cousin
Third: you'll have to do WHAT WE SAY
In your dreams, you recline on a couch as a bevy of naked nymphs feed you grapes, play harps and lyres, and massage your sore aches (to put it in polite wording).
In reality...
Oy, come here, you! Yeah, no. 67538. You're assigned to baba Samba y Futebol. She's not had a man in over 80 years, because...well, because...as we said, we're all cousins here and it can result in certain, er, unique physical and mental attributes. You'll see when you get there. She lives in Casa de los Tarantulas e Crocodylos, at the edge of the village, so called because, er, well...there's lots of them around. Your duties include having sex 10 times a day, filleting and cooking the tarantulas, feeding the crocodiles and cleaning your
owner'slove's dentures and the rest of the home. Get moving!!!-
Thursday 28th August 2014 10:39 GMT Lapun Mankimasta
Re: Beware, O horny IT types!
Casa de los Tarantulas e Crocodylos
should read:
Casa dos Tarantulos e Crocodylos
It is Portuguese-speaking Brazil, after all. De los is Spanish, which you'll speak when you cross the border to the south or the west or the north - you can try crossing the eastern border, but that depends on how long you can hold your breath, I'm afraid ... :)
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Thursday 28th August 2014 10:09 GMT Simon Harris
Re: This topic
The Telegraph wasn't shy of printing a picture or two...
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Thursday 28th August 2014 13:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Telegraph pictures
If you look carefully, the second picture has a man standing in the background. He looks .. tired..
:)
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Thursday 28th August 2014 09:10 GMT ElReg!comments!Pierre
Looking for week-end slaves really
Apparently some of the women there are married but the husbands have to work out of town all week and are allowed in town only on the week-end. There <u>are</u> chaps interested in a wife and family, but this kind of family? Not too sure. That's a college fratboy kind of family life, and I doubt the townies and fratboys would be a good match, not least because I doubt the hubbies are supposed to have sex while away from home (all week, every week, for life)
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Thursday 28th August 2014 12:48 GMT GrumpyOldBloke
Re: Whipcrack sound
That is not the fun bit. Living as an all female community (most of the time) their cycles may have synced. You wouldn't want to be the token male within weapons range that week! Such a community might even need to advertise for males from time to time in order to replace the poor souls who didn't make it.
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Thursday 28th August 2014 10:40 GMT Al fazed
Not sure this is such a good idea
since they have bought a wide screen TV for the community centre so that they can watch soap operas, so there'll be no Top Gear for a start. Not to mention what it might actually be like being told what to do every day by a fucking TV Zombie ................
I may be desperate for a shag, but I am still not biting as I am concienciously avoiding being seduced by a feminine Hitler ...........
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Thursday 28th August 2014 13:35 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Not sure this is such a good idea
I may be desperate for a shag, but I am still not biting as I am concienciously avoiding being seduced by a feminine Hitler
You have a tech inclination and know about the Net (or you wouldn't come here) - surely you know there are plenty of men who'd *pay* for that? I suspect they won't be short of applicants.
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Thursday 28th August 2014 16:17 GMT Irony Deficient
Re: Do they have high speed internet?
Anonymous Coward, given the village’s rural location, define “high speed”. Learning Portuguese might help, even if you choose not to speak it. (Who knows — your not saying a word might be a plus for somebody there.) Once you’ve picked up some Portuguese, you could look for a documentary named Noivas do Cordeiro (a play on the village’s name) to learn more about the people there. The sentence Todos trabalham, todos comem o que plantam should provide a dose of reality.
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Thursday 28th August 2014 23:36 GMT Andrew Jones 2
Re: Harmony??
I was thinking something similar,
I was thinking that they way they deal with "crime" is probably to gang up and emotionally torture the offender until she either flees town or kills herself.
I imagine this town of "hot" girls will probably be something like the mean girls in highschool.
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Friday 29th August 2014 09:57 GMT Nick Pettefar
From the Telegraph:
"Elida Dayse, who organises visits to the area, said: “It looks as if the majority of the population are women, but it’s partly because the men leave during the week to work in the city.” However, some of the town’s women fear that an influx of men could destroy their distinctive way of life."
So basically there are a lot of single women but not exclusively, no work, it's poor and it's miles from anywhere. Surely there are better prospects elsewhere for a young man?
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Friday 29th August 2014 11:22 GMT Anonymous Coward
The whole News is a sham.
Try google translator for this:
http://noticias.uol.com.br/ultimas-noticias/bbc/2014/08/29/cidade-de-beldades-desmente-boato-internacional-de-campanha-por-homens.htm
Shame on you, El Reg. BBC Brasil site unmasked the fake news. And you fell for it without checking sources.
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Friday 29th August 2014 19:20 GMT Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
If it sounds too good to be true..
Alright, dig it
Cold coolin' at a bar and I'm lookin' for some action
But like Mike Jagger said, 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction'
The girls are all around but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def, yo, what's up with L O C?
The girls all jockin' at the other end of the bar
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump
When they know that I'm the star
So, I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, why you so fly? He said, Funky Cold Medina
Funky Cold Medina
This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap
So, I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin'?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down' my door
I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm, ok, I'll go get it
Then a couple sips, she cold licked her lips
And I knew that she was with it
So, I took her to my crib and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So, I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies
Break it down
Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on 'The Love Connection'
The audience voted and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'
I said, wait, slow down, love, not so fast, says, I'll be seein' ya
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina
Ya know what I'm sayin'
That Medina's a monster, y'all
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TL;DR - Sheena was a man!
This topic is closed for new posts.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
