back to article Sneaker-maker Reebok cooks up performance-enhancing BACON

Sports shoe maker Reebok is getting into the bacon business. The move into delicious salted pork parts isn't a diversification. Instead, the company is targeting devotees of the CrossFit cultfitness craze, who often adhere to a “paleo” diet that's heavy in protein and light on carbohydrates. Ad-slinging chronicle …

  1. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Meh

    Meh....

    That figures. Only put it in California for the health nuts... but bacon that is only smoked is excellent bacon, normally. It's also pricey but available in many other places.

  2. Dave 126 Silver badge
    Coat

    Nike Air-Cured Ham

    ...sorry.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nike Air-Cured Ham

      Nike Air-Cured Hams

      There, FTFY

  3. dan1980

    What the hell is CrossFit?

    Is that something the readers of a tech blog should know about?

    I ran once. Horrible experience; never catch on.

    1. MrDamage

      Re: What the hell is CrossFit?

      Whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lay down until the feeling passes.

    2. Truffle

      Re: What the hell is CrossFit?

      CrossFit is to fitness, as Scientology is to religion.

      So California is probably the best place for it to stay.

      1. dan1980

        Re: What the hell is CrossFit?

        Right, so an even more ridiculous version of something I already don't understand. Got it.

        1. Eddy Ito

          Re: What the hell is CrossFit?

          It's a company that, like Zumba and others, lets you use their trademark for a fee certifies trainers who are then allowed to provide authenticated instruction. It also has some sort of sponsorship deal with Reebok.

    3. Fungus Bob Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: What the hell is CrossFit?

      CrossFit is when cross-dressers exercise...

      Mine's the swing coat

      1. skeptical i
        Devil

        Re: What the hell is CrossFit?

        Walking in 6" heels will exercise muscles you never knew you HAD, girlfren'. ;)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Confused "bacon"

    Uncured "bacon" is... pork! In fact this product is cured, note the sea salt in the ingredients. And since the point of using sea salt for curing is that it has naturally occurring nitrates in it, amongst other things, the claim that there are no preservatives is a bit dubious. And of course smoking is a preserving technique in itself, that will add all kinds of compounds to the meat. Presumably all this confusion is meant to make it more acceptable to the fitness nuts who'll be buying it.

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Re: Confused "bacon"

      Very much this. Curing is preserving.

      Pity the USA - all that farmland, and not a clue what to do with the produce.

      1. disgruntled yank Silver badge

        Re: Confused "bacon"

        Going to California for smoked meats is like going to Florida for the Alpine experience. If you want good smoked meats and sausage, you need to go where the Germans settled: east and central Pennsylvania, maybe the Great Lakes. I admit that the southerners are often very good with ham.

      2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: Confused "bacon"

        "Pity the USA - all that farmland, and not a clue what to do with the produce."

        We grow corn. Vast, amazing shitpiles of corn to turn into corn syrup so we can die of diabetes.

        So, there, we know what we're doing. We're just nucking futs.

  5. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Bacon is a vitamin [tm]

    But if it doesn't have nitrates or nitrites (or both) introduced at some stage in its creation, it's not bacon - it's just dried pig.

    And what's the point of that?

    Fake bacon is probably the sort of thing that hides my screwdrivers.

    1. Eddy Ito

      Re: Bacon is a vitamin [tm]

      "And what's the point of that?"

      I know lots of folks who like jerky.

      1. mrjobby
        Coat

        Re: Bacon is a vitamin [tm]

        "I know lots of folks who like jerky."

        They're mostly teenage boys, aren't they?

        Oh sorry - jerk-y.

  6. tony2heads

    smoked running shoes??

    I think rhebok (Pelea capreolus) bacon would be tastier

  7. ukgnome

    Oh

    so it's american bacon - yuck

    Even as a British vegetarian I can attest that yank bacon is gross

    1. Preston Munchensonton
      Coat

      Re: Oh

      All Yanks thank you for removing yourself from the yank bacon horde.

  8. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Coat

    Ahead of the curve

    Slicing up my old cheesy trainers now. Yum, yum!

  9. Feargal Reilly

    As both a commentard and a crossfitard, I assume this to do with the annual Reebot Crossfit Games that ran last weekend in California. I would have joined another cult, but crossfit was the only one that involved eating more bacon - and proper Irish rashers at that, none of this excuse for pigmeat the yanks come up with.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Sports shoe maker Reebok is getting into the bacon business

    How are the Muslim market going to respond?

    1. kalsolette

      Re: Sports shoe maker Reebok is getting into the bacon business

      My guess would be angrily.

      1. Flatpackhamster

        Re: Sports shoe maker Reebok is getting into the bacon business

        Surely not! That would be SO out of character.

  11. kalsolette

    Reebok Bacon is possibly the most absurd thing I've ever read.

  12. skeptical i
    Flame

    I guess if it ends up being really nasty you could resole your sneakers with it.

    Double your pleasure, double your fun.

    Might need to vulcanize it, though. -->

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cross-Fit is for people who don't want to admit that the best way to get fit is to eat less and run more.

    People are hellbent on inventing new and bollocks ways of exercising in as short a time possible.

    Eat less, run more. Seempels.

    1. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Seriously, running is optional - just eat less and move ever so slightly more and the weight falls off.

      Running is not a necessary part of losing weight, but once you've lost the weight it is then good for getting fit.

  14. stu 4

    americans

    was it Douglas Adams that said something like 'the terribly sad thing about americans, is that they LOVE bacon, but they don't realise they are doing it wrong - it could be soooo much better'

    summit like that anyway.

    google is turning u a blank, so please correct quote and attributer commentards.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Which makes Reebok Bacon...

    ...all sizzle, but no Banger

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