FREE PARTY for TEN lucky Australian Reg readers

The Register's Australian outpost is having a party and we want ten readers to come along. The party is a celebration of The Reg's first twenty years in business and also the fact that some new Vultures have touched down in Australia to help out with the commercial side of things. The event takes place on August 14th at The …

[Knoydart]

East Island visit

Look forward to the New Zealand one, maybe you can do an SPB pie tasting special?

[frank ly]

" No, we won't fly you to Sydney or pay for a hotel."

Well done on anticipating one question that many people would ask.

Will there be pics, a video, live link?

[Lionel Baden]

Re: " No, we won't fly you to Sydney or pay for a hotel."

I could take a cruise boat, im not too fussy !

[Irony Deficient]

a game of skill to pick attendees

Given the recent popularity of words for hardware in Arapaho, I hope that a limerick in one of the Pama–Nyungan languages would earn extra points for antipodean wordsmiths. Good luck to all of the entrants!

[Michael Hoffmann]

Mandatory rant?

Having moved to Australia 10 years ago, Melbourne in specific, I'm now supposed to let loose with a huge Melbourne vs Sydney rant, right?

[Herby]

Limericks

Does Australia have a town like Nantucket?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[MrDamage]

Re: Limericks

We don't have a Nantucket, but we do have some interesting town names like;

Bong Bong

Cockburn

Iron Knob

Kanahooka (Why yes, yes she can)

Koolyanobbing

Mount Buggery

Rooty Hill

Watanobbi

Wolloomooloo

Yorkeys Knob

to name but a few.

And let us not forget Min'o

[ScottK]

Re: Limericks

Don't forget the awesome name of my current place of residence - Humpty Doo.

When is the party in the top end?

[Adam 1]

Re: Limericks

>we do have some interesting town names like

Additionally there are complex abbreviation rules. You can call Wagga Wagga Wagga; but you can't call Woy Woy Woy.

[Sir Barry]

High Expectations

You think commentards have friends and know how to behave themselves?

Gosh

[cracked]

Missing Sub Editor Found Wandering Quite Large Sandy Desert ...

Sorry (I was promised decent mobile reception, but it was 1-bar north of Bendigo)

I've got quite a bit of catching up to do, so I think it will be quicker to just rewrite this one completely?

[Can someone remember to take out the comments in these funny brackets, please?]

*******************

The Register's Australian outpost is having a party and we want ten readers to come along.

The Register's Australian outpost is having a party, we've looked up the definition and apparently a number with more than one numeral is required to satisfy the dictionary.

The party is a celebration of The Reg's first twenty years in business and also the fact that some new Vultures have touched down in Australia to help out with the commercial side of things.

And so we realise we will have to turn up, in order to make up the necessary numbers - We've even roped in a couple of locals to make it look like we're trying. But heck, we've been at this since before George Orwell was born [that is the right date/fact, isn't it?], so we know it will be worth it in the long term.

The event takes place on August 14th at The Winery in Sydney's Surrey Hills. Doors open at 18:30 and close … well … we're not entirely sure when they close. Drinks and little nibbly bits will be on offer.

Keen to make a good first impression, we are planning to show IT journalism in the colonies how it really should be done and so have entered into a ground breaking partnership with one of the local niche industries: making booze.

At the party you'll be able to meet and mingle with Reg royalty like founder Drew Cullen, all three local Reg writers and lots of industry folks who want to gawk at actual Vultures.

[Honestly, just delete this bit?]

We're running a game of skill to pick attendees, namely a limerick competition. The ten best Reg-related limericks we receive will score a ticket.

We desperately require some content. NOT in Latin. Even Oirish would be better than that.

You can put your rhyme in the comments below or send email to Reg APAC editor Simon Sharwood if you'd rather other competitors don't get a look at your genius.

So few people will read this that we ARE accepting entries from 'bots (no CATCATCHER required)

We'll publish the winners in a story on Monday, August 11th. - [This can stay: It's probably best to warn the man in the white suit that asking for stuff by tomorrow is no use]

Some rules. No, we won't fly you to Sydney or pay for a hotel. The prize is admission to the party only (but we are thinking of ways to do this stuff in other Australian cities and maybe even New Zealand). One entry per person. Entries close 08:00 Monday August 11th, Australian Eastern Standard Time. You must behave yourself at the party and can't bring a friend. Ticket is not transferable. Judges' decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. You agree to have your limerick reproduced in a story.

Any questions? Ask here. We look forward to your poems and your company on the 14th

The usual rules apply: We're skint. But should this idea make us some money, we might spend some of that making more money, slumming it in a few native villages that appear to be struggling by without an opera house.

You must behave yourself at the party [<-- more good advice for the man in the white suit]

******

Short Version:

10 people wanted. Must be willing to: submit a copyright free poem (NOT IN LATIN!), pay own petrol/hay to airport, pay for parking/stabling at the airport (2nd mortgage necessary), pay to fly to Sydney, locate and pay to travel to a winery somewhere “close by” [in the Australian sense?].

Prize: Free entry to the winery

Note for Locals: Ah look, I reckon the party must be alcohol free, the poms have already figured no one behaves at parties.

[Honestly, go with the short one]

[I can't find my usual disclaimer?!!!]

[Colin Miller]

Re: Missing Sub Editor Found Wandering Quite Large Sandy Desert ...

Will you accept Limericks in Latin?

[Dukenhide]

Dont pick me, I just did this to get the ball rolling

Vulture South wants to see poetry,

for its industry gig at The Winery

Sime Sharwood will judge

if he can’t budge

the decision onto Daz Pauli

[Dukenhide]

As a little reward for the readers,

(or a scam to round-up the troll feeders),

the Reg put on a shin-dig

but didn't want it too big

so only allowed 10 rhyme leaders

[Dukenhide]

still rolling, rolling, rolling

I was sucked in by the words "FREE PARTY"

so I'm trying to be a word smarty

now the words I must find

in the mess of my mind

even though I really ain't arty

[Ben Bonsall]

there's nothing quite like a REG party,

full of folk who are cool and not farty

but this ones in oz

and that's just because

london's full of them types who are arty.

[Bloakey1]

Don't include me, this is just for the craic and the consultancy fees I am paid to do this and drink tea.

There was a young man called Drew.

He was bitter and twisted a shrew.

One day whilst having a shite.

Came an idea so bright.

And El Reg was conceived as a pooh.

[Tim Worstal]

There's nothing in those rules that says the limerick has to be about El Reg or the party (unless I'm being particularly stupid today). So here's one I did earlier:

"There was a young lady named Beth

who swore to be virgin 'till death.

Then she lost her front teeth

while fighting a thief

and finally learnt to say yeth."

If the plane ticket was going to be part of the prize I might even write a new one.....

[Sampler]

SHAME

Living in Sydney and being a long time reg fan but failing completely at being able to write limericks..

..not that being socially awkward and teetotal are conducive to a party with strangers..

[e^iπ+1=0]

Wtf is surrey hills?

Hmm

I've heard of Surry Hills, New South Wales -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surry_Hills,_New_South_Wales

And Surrey Hills, Vic,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrey_Hills,_Victoria

first 2 hits on 'Surrey Hills' in my search.

If I pay a ticket to the nearest, will you pay the difference?

Or, get the speeling rite.

[A Twig]

There once was a man from Harrow,

Who tried to have sex with a sparrow

The sparrow said, "No

It simply won't go

'Cos the hole in my arse is too narrow".

[A Twig]

WANTED: Ten commentards from Oz

To attend a party because

While talking in verse

Vultures tend to get worse

And so the last bit of their limericks never rhyme...

[KrisMac]

Party Party Party

A REGISTER Party in Oz?

I reckon it must be because

We'd all like to think

That we know how to drink

And our business aint really that stink

[UnauthorisedAccess]

There once was a man from the forum

Who wished to drink with the quorum

I'll even shout a round

In old Sydney town

And won't detract from the decorum

[UnauthorisedAccess]

Was mine too highbrow?

If so, my other submission (to the tune of a certain Dr Dre classic):

Bridges ain't nothing but hops and clicks

Tick on these gets and suck the NIC

[saramakos]

And as usual in such things Perth

May as well not be on Earth

The party's out east

Cost of travel's a beast

Winning would cost more than it's worth! :(