back to article Stephen Elop: 'Hello there' (and goodbye to 12,500 of you)

How would you like to be told that you may have lost your job? Probably not with an email which started with the phrase: "Hello there." But that's how Microsoft mobile boss Stephen Elop began his missive to the Microsoft Devices Group, burying the news about killing off Nokia X in par four, and the bit about which operations …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IBM's software products are uniformally incredibly powerful and capable, but someone at big blue thinks the I in UI is 'Inhibitor'. Horrendous user experience on every single application.

    I hate to think what kind of car crash they are going to spew up on iOS!

  2. auburnman

    Major companies cooperating with IBM do develop enterprise software has historically gone wonderfully given IBM's willingness to compromise and adapt to their partner, and previously blessed us with wonders like OS2.

    1. Annihilator Silver badge

      Lotus Notes on the iPhone... the mind boggles!

  3. James Hughes 1

    Dear Jasper

    Please replace the word 'par' with the correct word 'paragraph'. It doesn't take much extra typing, and would mean you don't look like an illiterate dick who's purpose in life is to take shortcuts with their writing just to annoy people (i.e. me).

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first

      Re: Dear Jasper

      I thought the use of "par" was an allusion to CEOs conducting business as though it was a game of golf.

    2. Christopher Slater-Walker

      Re: Dear Jasper

      That should be "WHOSE purpose in life..."

      "Who's" means "who is" or perhaps "who has."

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dear Jasper

      Dear James Hughes 1,

      "It doesn't take much extra typing, and would mean you don't look like an illiterate dick who's purpose in life is to take shortcuts with their writing just to annoy people (i.e. me)"

      Your use of the comma after "typing" is incorrect. "Who's" is defined as "who is" or "who has", neither of which makes any sense in context.

      Your declarative sentence also runs-on making the "i.e." superfluous.

      I am in no way faultless when I type, but if you're going to criticize someone for proper sentence structure you should at least try to make an effort yourself. Or you can simply accept that pobody is nerfect.

      1. d3rrial

        Re: Dear Jasper

        @AC'Dear James Hughes 1'

        James Hughes 1 however is a reader of El Reg, while Jasper is a professional author. Do you see the difference?

  4. Thomas 4

    The Elop Touch

    Like Midas, except with P45s.

    1. kmac499

      Re: The Elop Touch

      Well Everything that Midas touched turned to gold (Toilet time must have been fun ) Which made him as rich as Croesus So with a slight nod to the mash-up culture we get..

      Crappus Everything he touched turns to shit..

      For legal reasons no parallel is drawn ...

    2. Bod

      Re: The Elop Touch

      More like a Greek commander, having done the clever horse bit and been praised by his masters for it, is now culling the remains of the conquest.

  5. defiler

    Smug wee Alex Salmond?

    Nothing quite like taking sides, I suppose.

    I'll be honest, I have no love for the man or his campaign, and I'm certain of which way I'll be voting, but I'm not sure whether it's appropriate in an article on a news site.

    Also, .scot domains? What the fuck? I'm going to propose .ass for "associations" and then register bitemyshineymetal.ass...

    (Yeah, I'm bored. Waiting for a backup to finish...)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Smug wee Alex Salmond?

      I have absolutely zero preference one way or the other on Scottish independance - but surely most people are in agreement that Salmond is an oily smug arsehole?

      Does a personal dislike of someone preclude a particular political opinion?

  6. MJI Silver badge

    How many people have lost their jobs due to Flop?

    He must be setting new records for redundancies.

    1. gryff

      Re: How many people have lost their jobs due to Flop?

      answer: tens of thousands.

      which means tens of thousands of families affected.

      He fired more people than both his Nokia predecessors combined and OPK wasn't trigger shy.

      (@Elop's lawyers - I read all the press releases 2000-2013 to compile this data as part of a thesis)

      Just more evidence of a lack of understanding of the mobile market. Nokia knew in the 90s that 15% market share is the threshold for critical mass for cost efficiency in supply chain and manufacturing. Microsoft sees mobile as a showcase for their "stuff".

  7. Charles Manning

    Surely only the dumbest are surprised by this?

    The writing was on the wall when Elop joined.

    It was on the wall in BLINKING FULL CAPS when MS started their buying bid.

    Frankly, if you were then surprised to be losing your job you're brain dead.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So what did Microsoft actually buy then? They bought the handset division and then quickly kill products and and fire a sizable portion of their workforce. Surely if Microsoft wanted to make their own handsets they could have done that on their own; they did the Surface. So, what did they actually buy for that money?

    1. d3vy

      Probably patents.

      But they also got the rights to use the extremely well known and trusted Nokia brand (At least for a while)

      One thing that either I have missed or has not been reported, MS have said that they are moving production haven't they? Doesn't this mean that potentially there are x000 new jobs being created in the areas that they are moving to?

      I'd imagine that they will be retaining the R&D types and people that do the actual tech design and just laying off the "Pick them off the street" factory work force?

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