back to article 'Apple is terrified of women’s bodies and women’s pleasure' – fresh tech sex storm

Apple is weathering a sexism storm after its website apparently refused to engrave a raunchy poem on a newly ordered iPhone. Enraged that the California giant allowed penis, dick and similar words to be engraved on mobes – but, crucially, not clit – men and women in favour of equal opportunities have given Apple boss Tim Cook …

  1. Dabooka
    Meh

    The "joke"

    Is it meant to be "IT'S SO RI-DICK-ULOUS!".

    Didn't say it was funny.......

    1. weebs

      Re: The "joke"

      That's why I came to the message board. Instantly reminded of "Come fly with Me". If you'll pardon the pun.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The "joke"

      My guess is that Apple products are already too well associated with cunts for their liking....

    3. wbaw

      Re: The "joke"

      Punany

  2. Anonymous Blowhard

    So if you want your address engraving, it's OK if you live in Penistone but not if you live in Scunthorpe?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Childcatcher

      not if you live in Scunthorpe?

      And if you live here don't even think about engraving your address on the back

      1. Kane Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        @Mahatma Coat

        See Also

        Tickle Cock Bridge

    2. tomban

      Is Slutshole ok?

      http://www.faversham.org/community/villages/hernhill.aspx

  3. tkioz

    I think the obvious solution would be to simply ban the offending words for man bits, then everyone can be unhappy. But seriously, if you're getting an iPhone engraved like it was a bit of jewellery you're a moron anyway.

    1. The BigYin

      The simplest solutions...

      ...would be to not censor anything. Let people engrave sex organs, hate speech, whatever.

      If they want to pay over the odds to make themselves look like monumental dobbers, then who is Apple to stop them?

      Reminds me of the story where Nike (I think) banned the word "sweatshop" from its customer embroidery service.

      1. DocJames

        Nike sweatshop shoes

        Jonah Peretti, later founded buzzfeed, asked for the sweatshop trainers.

        http://www.inc.com/video/201108/how-i-did-it-jonah-peretti.html

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "But seriously, if you're getting an iPhone engraved like it was a bit of jewellery you're a moron anyway."

      Really? I think it's a good way of making your device unique and identifiable. Think of it this way.You have 2 100% identical looking iPads, one is your dads and contains nude photos of your mum as the background, the other is yours...both have no battery left and your chargers are no where to be found...Do you feel lucky punk? well? Do ya?

      1. Nuke
        Meh

        Wrote :- "I think it's a good way of making your device unique and identifiable. Think of it this way.You have 2 .. identical ... iPads, one is your dads and .... the other is yours"

        Ever heard of Dymotape?

      2. Loyal Commenter

        You have 2 100% identical looking iPads, one is your dads and contains nude photos of your mum as the background, the other is yours...both have no battery left and your chargers are no where to be found...

        An interesting hypothetical situation to be sure. Lets analyse this scenario...

        "You have 2 100% identical looking iPads". If this is indeed the case, then I'd suggest you not only have too much money, but are a sucker for punishment. In any case, as any fule kno, apple products are already uniquely identifiable by the pattern of fractures in the glass fronts.

        one is your dads and contains nude photos of your mum as the background, the other is yours. Well, what a stylish chap your father appears to be. Certainly, if I had nude pictures of my spouse on any device, I wouldn't leave it lying around, particularly not if other family members were about. Lets not even start on what a hideously gauche thing to do this would be in the first place, and not dwell on what your mother might think about your father acting in such a way.

        both have no battery left and your chargers are no where to be found. Maybe it's time for apple to accept that the de facto standard charger is the micro-usb cable, and stop fleecing its customers for custom cables? Stop laughing there at the back!

        1. Havin_it
          Trollface

          @Loyal Commenter

          >Lets not even start on what a hideously gauche thing to do this would be in the first place, and not dwell on what your mother might think about your father acting in such a way.

          Tim, is that you? ;)

          Well, probably not, given your apparent disdain for iThings, but seriously man, lighten up! Try not to be so British. One thing none of us can deny about our parents is that, at one time at least, they found each other attractive. And they did the nasty. Yes they did. Sleep well ;)

      3. Ben Rosenthal

        In that scenario, it's time you moved out.

    3. Nuke
      Facepalm

      @tkioz

      Wrote :- "I think the obvious solution would be to simply ban the offending words for man bits, then everyone can be unhappy.

      The obvious solution would be for people to let Apple decide what they will and won't do within their own premises, and if you want something they won't do then go to a local engraver to get it done. If you have an argument with the local engraver then at least it won't be World news.

      Oh, I suppose I've missed the point - the feminists want to manufacture world news wherever possible.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @tkioz

        "if you want something they won't do then go to a local engraver to get it done"

        That would have been my first thought and exactly what I would do if I cared enough. If I paid out that sort of money for a device then it would be mine to deface in whatever manner I found amusing at the time. A lot of the appeal of iKit is the "let them handle the tricky stuff" ethos and I suppose that people shouldn't moan if Apple handles whatever it is in a way that suits them. It is sexist and probably should be changed; but it's only a couple of crappy lines of text. With a halfway decent engraver you can have graphics and customise it properly.

      2. southen bastard

        Re: @tkioz

        The answer is easy ban apple!!

    4. Pedigree-Pete

      iPhione

      "But seriously, if you're getting an iPhone you're a moron anyway."

      TFTFY

  4. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Christ

      Work it out. It's because words for male genitalia are ok and words for female genitalia are banned. Clearly sexist.

      1. Philip Lewis

        Re: Christ

        Dick, cock, and so on have perfectly normal non-vulgar/sexual meanings.

        Clit, and the other c word do not.

        The problem with rabid feminists is they see sexism everywhere.

        1. Loyal Commenter

          Re: Christ

          Dick, cock, and so on have perfectly normal non-vulgar/sexual meanings.

          Clit, and the other c word do not.

          The problem with rabid feminists is they see sexism everywhere.

          However, as stated in the article, Apple accept 'penis', but not 'vagina'.

          The problem with misogynists is that they often refuse to accept that sexism exists, even when it is pointed out to them.

          To be perfectly clear here, the same applies to misandrists (I once heard a 'feminist' acquaintance claim that there is no such thing as misandry, which ironically is a very sexist thing to say, particularly for someone who claims to rail against sexism).

          1. Philip Lewis

            Re: Christ

            Actually, the article does not mention vagina at all, that is something qoted from a tweet, therefore heresay and not really part of the article. I have no idea whether is is true or not, but the article makes no such claim.

            So, this fact makes your assertion "Apple accept 'penis', but not 'vagina'" incorrect on the basis of the information asserted in the article.

            The article is specifically about the abbreviated form of the word clitoris (clit), and one (for some people) slightly embarrassing correct word for the male appendage, penis.

            The problem with people with an axe to grind, is they grind it without engaging their brains first. That's usually the dead give away.

            Have a nice weekend.

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Christ

                Wow, moiety is a hermaphrodite? Who knew?

  5. petur
    Coat

    "dick" is OK

    because the ipad sucks?

  6. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Pint

    I prefer a Schrödinger's Pussy

    Apple is TERRIFIED of women’s bodies

    Frankly, who isn't?

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Frankly, who isn't?

      I'm not! If my memory serves me correctly....

  7. eSeM

    iTwat appears to be acceptable ....

    :)

  8. Geoff Campbell
    Black Helicopters

    Well, well.

    It's amazing what one can get through the content filters here...

    GJC

    1. Michael Habel

      Re: Well, well.

      It's amazing what one can get through the content filters here.

      What Filters?!

      1. Anonymous Blowhard

        Re: Well, well.

        Filters?

        I think the Register's system inserts rude words into posts automatically; I definitely didn't write "cunt" here.

      2. Geoff Campbell

        Re: Well, well.

        The filters at my office.

        GJC

        1. Geoff Campbell
          Facepalm

          Re: Well, well.

          Goodness. Three downvotes for two of the most innocuous, content-free posts I have ever posted anywhere. Strange ol' game, this...

          GJC

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

    The clit, or is the iPhone engraving software just designed to reject really, really poor verse?

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

      They have a primordial sin guilt complex - a woman, an apple etc. I suspect their servers will self-destruct if anyone tries to ask them to engrave "serpent" on an iThingy...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Vladimir

        Not self-destruct, they will drag their users down to the darkest pits of hell -or maybe even spontaneously install Windows 8.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Anonymous Coward

          <QUOTE>Not self-destruct, they will drag their users down to the darkest pits of hell -or maybe even spontaneously install Windows 8.</QUOTE>

          Pffft! I'd rather have windows 8 shoved up my posterior on a red hot USB stick than own an iThing...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

        Can we lay this tired old meme to rest? It was almost certainly a pomegranate, not an apple. People in the distant past tended not to distinguish fruit as we do - but I believe there are some very old pictures of what is possibly the origin myth borrowed by the Bible, and the fruit shown is a pomegranate.

        Would they have done as well if named Pomegranate Computer? At least they wouldn't have been sued by Apple Corp.

        1. BongoJoe

          Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

          The story that I heard back in the late 70s was that Jobs was eating an apple at the time and they looked at it when they were deciding on the name and they chose that. Hence the bitemarks at the time.

          I looks like one of those tastefless foam filled Washington apples to me. Certainly not a pomegranate.

        2. Teiwaz

          Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

          Almost certainly a pomegranate. Cut one in half, and it resembles female genitalia. Cut an apple in half (across the core) and all you get is a vague pentangle.

          The symbolism of the apple and knowledge either go deeper than the translation of that myth, or they wanted to replace the frankly obvious symbolism of a woman biting into a pomegranate and gaining the 'knowledge' of her sexuality.

          People in the distant past may not have distinguished fruit as we do (well, they didn't have marketing departments, lucky buggers) but i can safely say that it wasn't a banana. If banana had been the 'fruit of knowledge', I'm sure all that would have been learnt was good technique and mouth ulcers should she do it too often.

          The 60's are over though, and we're deep in another 'puritan' era. For different reasons than the earlier ones. Companies don't want to challenge possible majority morals in case it impacts sales or causes a PC furor and results in bad publicity.

          It's long been accepted that slang'names for male genitals are acceptable but slang terms for female genitals are not. Alternative comedians in the 80's found this out, attempted to fight it and made no impact really, as here we are, 30 years later.

          If Apple were a British company, maybe they'd have more whimsy. Or if Apple were not so big and intransient (look to AppStore policing for obvious prior-art).

          Peace, Out.

          1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

            Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

            "slang'names for male genitals are acceptable"

            Surely, you mean schlang names?

          2. Don Jefe

            Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

            A pomegranate cut in half looks like disease ridden female genitalia. It's OK to have second thoughts if you see a vagina that looks like that. Now a sheep on the other hand, that's a dead ringer for an Eskimo with her pants half down.

            1. Martin Budden
              WTF?

              Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out @ Don Jefe

              A pomegranate cut in half looks like disease ridden female genitalia. It's OK to have second thoughts if you see a vagina that looks like that. Now a sheep on the other hand, that's a dead ringer for an Eskimo with her pants half down.

              see icon

          3. asiaseen

            Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

            You must have seen some very strange female genitalia if you see the representation in a halved pomegranate. As for biting into one, not an attractive proposition - all those seeds and interstitial stuff.

        3. beep54

          Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

          By the same logic, consider Shicklgruber. It is rather hard to imagine a mass of Germans shouting, "Heil Shicklgruber!" Also, it really doesn't matter whether it is an apple, a pomegranate or even a banana. The Bible is pure myth in the first place.

    2. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Is this really Apple gender discrimination rubbing out

      The clit, or is the iPhone engraving software just designed to reject really, really poor verse?

      OK, then it should coredump or even catch fire on being fed some Vogon poetry.

  10. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Joke

    Mugger proof?

    Mugger. "I'm sorry, but this so offensive. Here - take your phone back".

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. jake Silver badge

    Somewhere ...

    Steve Jobs is spinning.

    1. Dabooka

      Re: Somewhere ...

      I think Steve is still spinning from the decision to make an iPad Mini.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Somewhere ...

        No, in his corner of Heaven (minimalist, all white, angels playing the sosume sound on harps) the inch has been redefined to be 2cm, and the iPad Mini still has a 10 inch diagonal.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Somewhere ...

      "Steve Jobs is spinning."

      I think you will find he had himself uploaded to SSD...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    #firstworldproblem

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      #malesoidontcare '#thisisnttwitter #hashtagmyarse

  13. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Feminists are angry...

    I'm no feminist but I am angry as well!

    To Mr Cook - may you not see a clit ever again.

    To feminists - go to an engraver desk in any department store and clit-up your iPhone until something throbs...

    1. James 100

      Re: Feminists are angry...

      "To Mr Cook - may you not see a clit ever again."

      Well, since he's not into women, that seems unlikely to bother him in the slightest... He wasn't just at the *gay* pride parade to show support for *other* people being gay!

      1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

        Re: Feminists are angry...

        Oh, I didn't know that.

        Actually, that makes it worse, in my opinion, as it almost looks like he might really be biased against the opposite sex and it was not simply a technical screw-up.

        1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

          Re: Feminists are angry...

          Do you seriously believe Tim Cook is personally responsible for the website's filter code?

      2. Gordon861

        Re: Feminists are angry...

        ... isn't that pretty much part of their job description?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Feminists are angry...

          @Gordon: Please don't confuse Hate Anyone But Them Radfems (scary, scary people) with actual feminists...

  14. Chairo
    Coat

    It is so simple.

    The I phone is not waterproof, so...

    Mine is the one with the IPX6 rating...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Misogyny?

    Why do feminists always claim that anything that offends them is due to misogyny?

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      Re: Misogyny?

      On the other hand, try asking the iOS spell check to suggest a suitable alternative for "abirtion" or "abortoin". I've tried a number of alternatives and it just won't do it...

      If Apple are going to take the approach of censoring certain words, they will by necessity be picking sides.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Misogyny?

      Why do anonymous men go around the internet pretending sexism doesn't exist?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Misogyny?

        The biggest sexists are easy to spot, they just call themselves feminists.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Misogyny?

        > Why do anonymous men go around the internet pretending sexism doesn't exist?

        The question:

        Why do feminists always claim that anything that offends them is due to misogyny?
        does not imply that sexism does not exist, it merely implies that not everything that is offensive to feminists is due to misogyny and still leaves the option that some things they find offensive might well be due to misogyny.

        Clearly, since your logic is flawed, you are using female logic.

    3. breakfast Silver badge

      Re: Misogyny?

      Because people like you are still asking questions like that.

  16. hitmouse

    This would be the same Apple that allows Playboy for iPhone and yet won't allow apps like Grindr to display men in bathing suits ??

  17. Steven Raith

    Faulty logic

    "My hypothesis was correct: the reason I cannot use the word clit is because Apple is so entrenched with sexism and misogyny, and frankly, is terrified of women’s bodies and women’s pleasure."

    No, it just means their horrible prudes with misguided (probably lawyer backed) policies on allowing words to be cut into the devices that will be on public show. I'm not sure how not allowing the word clit to be inscribed immediately means that they fear womens bodies.

    I mean, she has a pretty good point about the rather strange lack of equality on this (even if it is a bit niche), but fuck me, lose the jingoism, it makes you look like you have a mental age of twelve, which is no way to get your argument across.

    All IMHO of course.

    Steven "I don't fear womens bodies and sexuality, I'm just fat and ugly and don't get any" R.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Faulty logic

      Your faulty logic:

      If it was just prudishness then it wouldn't be limited to female genitalia...

      Does it mean they fear women? Probably not. But it is sexism all the same (intentional or not).

      1. Steven Raith

        Re: Faulty logic

        Good point in all fairness, but the overblown way in which she makes it, throwing other accusations around is childish and stupid. That's not sexist, that's objective assessment.

        If she wants to be taken seriously (which presumably, being a feminist and given the subject matter, she would) then she might want to work on her presentation and argument skills. She could be male, female, black, white, whatever - the comment comes across as being from a gobby kid, shouting out anything to get attention - the irony being it doesn't *require* that sort of behaviour as the point is already perfectly valid and worthy of debate/questioning/attention.

        Again, all IMHO, etc.

  18. Tim Roberts 1

    I'll bite .....

    Why exactly would you want the various words for genitalia, gender orientation, sexual activity etc. engraved on your phone. Sorry I just don't get it ..... a phone is a phone, or am I missing something here? Anyone who knows and cares about me already knows my orientation and which words I will and won't use.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'll bite .....

      For the same reason people put fluffy covers on them...personalisation...besides if you are the IT manager and get a request from the MD to get a new iDevice it's fairly tempting to tick the engrave option isn't it?

    2. janimal

      Re: I'll bite .....

      It doesn't actually matter whether you 'get it' or not.

      You live on a planet with 7 billion people with their own tastes and proclivities. Do you need to know the reasoning behind all their actions in order to function?

  19. frank ly

    It's not that they won't do the engraving ....

    ... it's just that they can't find it.

  20. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Why is this article marked as NSFW?

    The Reg is clearly institutionally sexist and misogynist as it believes 'work' is a patriarchal concept.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why is this article marked as NSFW?

      "Work" is the NSFW bit...it is Friday, you know.

  21. JimmyPage
    Headmaster

    Out of curiosity ...

    How many synonyms does Rogers Profanisaurous give ...

  22. DerekCurrie
    FAIL

    An Insightful Person Once Told Me...

    ... that a sign of a collapsing civilization is its mass cultural emulation of the lower class. I've also seen this concept expressed as 'Worship of the Noble Savage'.

    Etching 'Noble Savage' poetry onto the back of your iOS device certainly qualifies. (O_o) Equal opportunity obscenity makes me laugh at the people who insist upon it. If Apple chooses not to participate, that's fine with me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: An Insightful Person Once Told Me...

      You are missing the point. If they disallowed both then it would be fine. But by saying that it's only women's body parts which are not allowed then the question of 'Why?' springs to mind.

      I agree it's a rather crass thing to do your device, but if that is what floats your boat then who I am (or apple) to stop them?

    2. Don Jefe

      Re: An Insightful Person Once Told Me...

      You've got your Societal Collapse Indicator turned wrong way round. The 'Noble Savage' is an artifice created by elements of a society who wish to differentiate themselves from the peasants in futile attempts to appear greater than they are. The 'Noble Savage' is the equivalent of a plot hole filler that serves as a contemporary, anthropological 'missing link'.

      The entire concept is an underdeveloped 'logical step' that establishes an imaginary bridge between socioeconomic classes. That bridge is a crucial element in societies embracing vertically oriented classism because it creates a route by which people can 'move up' in society. If the peasants can become middle class then those in the middle class can become part of the upper class. But the key word there is 'imaginary'. There is no permanent 'bridge' and each person my devise ways to create their own bridge.

      But that's hard. People would rather go to great lengths to make themselves appear to belong to a higher class by adopting attitudes and affectations they believe are indicative of the behavior of higher classes. You can always tell what's going on when people think savagery, or lack thereof, is a function of socioeconomic status. A confused middle class believes savagery falls of as class rises, but the reverse is actually the case. Savagery falls off in the middle class, due to mediocrity, but increases in either direction. The savagery of the peasants is very visible because it tends to happen on a small scale that individuals can relate to. Upperclass savagery is far nastier, but the scale is so large people mistake it for randomized currents in a huge system simply because they don't like reminding themselves they are effectively no closer to the upperclass than the hobo waving the broken beer bottle at them.

      From my perspective societal artifices like 'Noble Savage' are like the mechanics of farting. The first person to bring it up is the source of their own complaint.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Whilst I hate censorship, and clit should obviously be allowed, I hate the angry feminist outrage and cries of misogyny.

    1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      "Whilst I hate censorship, and clit should obviously be allowed,"

      It's not "censorship". Last time I checked, Apple were not a country with a seat at the UN. Censorship is perfectly legal if you're a private entity. The media does it all the bloody time and nobody bangs on about them 'censoring' whenever they bleep out bits of Frankie Boyle's jokes.

      Apple have an image they're trying to present to the public—an almost Disney-like one that tries to portray a 'squeaky clean' company and ethic. Apple is also a business. Businesses are explicitly allowed to refuse to do work for a customer if they don't want to, if they feel it would make their employees uncomfortable, or even if they just feel it would violate their core precepts, such as their brand image.

      (Note: You're also free to sue said businesses into oblivion if you genuinely believe they denied service to you on grounds of racism, sexism, or some other legally-covered "-ism". But that's entirely your own decision.)

      Chances are, their filtering policy is based on how a nation's media treats such words: If they're routinely bleeped out on TV and radio, it'll probably be added to the filter. "Dick" and "penis" are rarely bleeped in the UK or US, and arguably aren't even considered swear words. "Clit" and "cunt", on the other hand, certainly are.

      There's a good reason why Roger's Profanisaurus (PBUV*) has been so popular, and is so filled with inventive euphemisms: rather than fight the media's self-censorship, it's easier—and a hell of a lot more fun—to just work around it.

      * "Praise Be Unto Viz". Let's see if El Reg are happy with this.

      1. Gordon861

        Re: "Whilst I hate censorship, and clit should obviously be allowed,"

        "It's not "censorship". Last time I checked, Apple were not a country with a seat at the UN. Censorship is perfectly legal if you're a private entity. "

        Er ... so it is censorship? This sentence makes no sense.

        1. Don Jefe

          Re: "Whilst I hate censorship, and clit should obviously be allowed,"

          It made perfect sense in its original form, but his comment has obviously been censored by a rouge faction of the Censorship Council on Censorship. It's a wonder his comment got posted at all.

  24. Fihart

    So they won't be diversifying...

    An Apple branded sex toy would sell millions. A girl recently told be how she enjoyed it when her mobile vibrated in her "pocket".

    1. hitmouse

      Re: So they won't be diversifying...

      They could call them iJobs

  25. chivo243 Silver badge

    Racing driver's name

    There was some racing drive in the US, and his name is Dick Trickle, I'm sure he's happy he can get his fondleslab engraved with his name!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Racing driver's name

      He identifies more with the NSA approved Google Tablet, it's smaller and more prone to leaks.

  26. Talic

    How about...

    Replacing the L with an uppercase i ?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No luck for those..

    Twatts(or is it twattortonians?) of Shetland

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple decided there would be no clits on the iPhone

    Isn't that a bit late, with the recent vibrator app, iVibe Massager, I would have thought there'd be loads of clits on iPhones.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apple decided there would be no clits on the iPhone

      I doubt it because then they would need two iPhones, one for the stimulation and one to take the selfie for Twitter.

  29. Alistair MacRae

    I've got a set of engraving tools.

    I'll write anything you like on the fruit machines.

    I'll charge apples prices though :P

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I've got a set of engraving tools.

      The engraving is free.

  30. RichD

    I don't get the desire to engrave a phone

    What do you do with it when you come to upgrade a couple of years later?

  31. kmac499

    Alternative Engravings

    Just to wind up the good folk at Apple can I suggest

    "Intel Inside"

    "Let's look through the square window" (from playschool TV)

    "In case of fault; try replacing the battery ,,, go on just try"

    "This phone belongs to APPLE Corp"

    ANy More ???

  32. SoaG

    Based on her preferred engraving, I'm guessing she'll be carrying her phone in her front pocket and set to vibrate.

  33. Chris G

    Proportional reaction

    Such a big kerfuffle over such a small thing!

    Mind you a clit is easier to find than a G spot.

    Boot note: the predictive text on this phone kept rewriting clit as clot until I saved it .

  34. Steve Evans

    They're probably worried someone will have

    "Yet another clit phone"

    Written on the back.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No surprise

    Anyone dumb enough to buy an iPhone really isn't qualified to decide what can be engraved on it.

  36. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Coat

    It's possible Apple just likes fanbois and not fangurls. Ok.. I'm getting me coat. It's the one with the unengraved phone in the pocket.

  37. Maty

    hmmm...

    So Apple objects to inscribing words describing female genitals on an iPhone, yet has an entire ad campaign based around a song that originally described male genitals?

    (So what did you think 'Gigantic' described? - the next line 'a big, big love' is another clue)

    http://antiquiet.com/music/2014/04/apple-iphone-commercial-pixies-gigantic-black-phallus/

  38. Big Al
    Alert

    Free speech

    It's a free speech issue.

    Why should Apple take upon itself to censor what people want to write in the first place?

    Or does Apple believe that its devices continue to belong to it even after being 'sold', with no transfer of ownership?

    1. DiViDeD

      Re: Free speech

      "does Apple believe that its devices continue to belong to it even after being 'sold'"

      Well, they do pride themselves on the high resale value. I imagine the appeal of a second hand iThing with 'I'm with this cunt -->' inscribed on the back might be lower than for an identical but rather less sullied one.

  39. supreme-overlord

    "huge numbers of *angry* feminists"

    Is there any other kind?

  40. john devoy

    This really should be listed under #firstworldproblems.

  41. xpusostomos

    From what we know about Tim Cook's personal predilections, no he hasn't heard of a clit, to answer those tweeters.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does this mean Apples are meant to be hard but not wet?

    and now that I'm thinking about it, could this have been the real reason Apple had sensors in their phones that detected wetness?

    Oh my...

    LOL

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reason for not blocking...

    Hey, I know a lot of people.

    A whole bunch called Dick.

    A couple of Dicks are right cunts. Roger though, is a penis who gets cocky all the time, until his company went tits-up that is.

    And Willy is a wanker.

    Hope I never have to write a eulogy for any of those tossers.

    (anonymous, for fearing the wrath of the moderator)

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