back to article Facebook goes TITSUP across WORLD! Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?

Images of Britain's breakfasts failed to make their way onto the internet this morning after Facebook collapsed, sending the interwebs into social media withdrawal. Anyone visiting Zuck's site was shown the following message: Distraught Facebookers resorted to social media methadone - or Twitter, as it's otherwise known - to …


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  1. Marlons

    Facebook is down, and I wanted to post on Facebook that it was down. But I couldn't.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      so did i

      So I came here instead.

    2. Alan W. Rateliff, II
      Paris Hilton

      I found this funny because of my customers. It is not uncommon for me to get a phone call late in the morning or early afternoon because a customer's email has not been working. Once the problem is resolved I then receive at least one email with the subject along the lines of "Email is not working."

  2. Pugwash69

    This will now be known as "productivity in industry" day.

    1. Christian Berger

      Funnily enough it's a holiday in (some parts of) Germany.

      1. big_D Silver badge

        @Christian unfortunately not here in Lower Saxony. :-(

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Apart from those of us posting on alternative forums, that is...right?!

  3. Chris Miller

    Small earthquake on Internet

    Not many dead.

  4. TheProf Silver badge

    Not worried

    I can still access the Scrabble app through my tablet.

  5. Tim Jenkins

    Got to be fixed by 15:15

    or the mums at our school gate won't know what to think...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward



  7. mamsey

    <fx: tumbleweed>

    Damn missed it. I can't now say I had facebook withdrawal next time I visit my shrink.

  8. Mr Templedene

    I felt a great disturbance in the web, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

      ...and across the rest of the online world, lo, there was great rejoicing...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    So that's why everythying was running so fast suddenly. I wondered if a spam network had been taken down. And now I discover it was just that.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Speedup

      So you were right.

  10. Jamie Jones Silver badge

    'Anonymous' DDOS?

    Haha, does anyone really believe that an 'Anonymous DDOS' could take down Facebook globally?

    1. Bernard M. Orwell

      Re: 'Anonymous' DDOS?

      Someone needs to read some Tsun Tzu, or read some history about the fall of the Roman Empire. It's not wise to underestimate the enemy, even if they are barbarians.

  11. Evil Auditor Silver badge


    FB's down but the world keeps spinning. Who'd've thought?!

  12. RyokuMas Silver badge

    Probably a heavy DDOS attack organised by the dogs of the world who are fed up with cats getting all the limelight...

    ... I'll get me coat.

  13. Anonymous Coward


    Maybe FB trialled "Unlike" and it went badly wrong?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They accidently tweaked their privacy settings to keep your data private

    but don't worry, your personal information will soon be plastered all over the world once more and service will be back to normal.

  15. adnim

    I hadn't...


  16. Barrie Shepherd

    They had to replace their routers as the old ones did not have a wide enough NSA back door.

  17. Crisp

    I've been outside and seen the sun today for the first time in years

    Facebook's failure has opened up a brave new world for me.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a relief

    The world is more green today, since less heat has been dissipated in the atmosphere.

    Green Lobby can rejoice.

    Meantime, the net did seem faster this morning. Honest. But my cat is upset and will need a visit to the shrink. No one notices her video today.

  19. hplasm

    Big plug fell out-

    of the NSA rack.

    Needs a kick back in. Sorted soon...

  20. Tim 11

    What about people using FB to log into other apps?

    The more serious point here is that people often use FB to log into other applications which are actually useful (maybe even apps they use for work). Ironically, FB being down could actually have a negative impact on some people's productivity.

    1. spiny norman

      Re: What about people using FB to log into other apps?

      There must be something to learn from that ....

  21. Michael H.F. Wilkinson

    Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?

    Your cousin?

    Sorry, couldn't resist

  22. Valeyard


    I can understand the virgin tweet

    from experience, if one of the "big" sites goes down every broadband tech support guy cringes, because the lights will be red all over the board with idiots

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Valley accent please

    Shouldn't there be like, some kind of emergency service for this? The government should do something, I was like just posting this selfie and it like was not going, I don't know what i should do, should I call 911? I could do a selfie with me and the emergency facebook responders or something.

    Hello? can anybody see me?

    1. VinceH

      Re: Valley accent please

      "It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and... oh, wait, no, it's just Facebook users discovering a world beyond the social network."

  24. Ribblethrop

    Great news!

    I predict a corresponding drop in violent crime.

  25. Nash

    Facebook went down today, so i decided to spend time with the family, they seem like nice people......

  26. Epobirs

    I hadn't noticed.

    Facebook went away and I didn't notice. Does this mean I have a life or lack one?

  27. Ribblethrop

    A little while after posting in the comments today, my AV software flagged up this page and asked me to send them a sample. Never happened before. Are you been hacked by FB?

  28. Inspector Clouseau

    The Dow Jones dropped by 2 points, however the IQ of the interwebs rose by 3.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mmmh I wonder if like Adobe's recent meltdown...

    The official support advice was go to Facebook's Support page....

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