Good name for Apple to acquire
After all, your average fanboi Beats furiously over every new iThing...
The man who designed the famous Beats by Dre headphones will not continue to work on the brand after its sale to Apple, it has been announced. Robert Brunner was head of industrial design at Apple in the early '90s – where he worked on Macintosh, the original PowerBook and Newton – although he has quipped: "I sometimes joke …
Oxymoron alert. Nothing associated with the scum can be cool, no one who owns anything they have made is cool, nothing they do or say or think is cool... BECAUSE THEY WANT IT TO BE COOL.
That's how it works you know:
Coolness = 1/DesireToBeCool
And they really, really, desperately, achingly want to be cool. So they are the least cool thing possible.
Cool things are the things that don't even know they are cool.
I think I speak for most people when I say "I hope hipsters all get cholera and shit themselves to death." Cool just is, bub. There are plenty of people/things that try damned hard to be cool and, as a result, are.
Hipsters, on the other hand, are a plague upon the Earth. There is more to the world than being into things before they become mainstream or putting measurable effort into shunning anything and anyone that has a hint of being popular, or wanting to be.
Now, get the hell out of here because the entire cast of "The Expendables" trips out of here with a goddamned armoury and turns you into a pile of dust reminiscent of crusted saltines.
No, a hipster is not "anyone" who is not awesome. There are plenty of non-awesome people who aren't hipsters. Hipsters are people obsessed with coolness and appearance while desperately putting obscene amounts of time and effort into appearing not to be obsessed with coolness and appearance.
Hipsters don't do. They whinge. Hipsters can only make themselves feel better by putting others down. Hipsters are perpetually at the bottom of the hierarchy, looking angrily and covetously upwards without the willingness or desire to actually do anything to better their station. Hipsters believe the world owes them a lot more than it does while simultaneously believing they owe the world - and everyone else in it - nothing.
Put simply, hipsters are scum. And all the whining in the world won't change the fact that to get ahead in the world you need to not only actually work for a living, but develop some fucking charisma and perhaps - just perhaps - enough empathy to relate to other human beings.
May their reign last hours, and their deaths years.
My point was that you (and others in this thread) seem to have gone all no true scotsman with your definition of hipsters, which seemed ironic since that was what hipsters are supposed to have done with the notion of being cool.
A bit like the philosophy of political correctness being equally beloved by liberals and conservatives depending on which way up you hold it.
I agree about the coffee and cream thing though. :-)
No true scotsman is all about someone trying to exclude others from their group by progressively narrowing the definition of the group until it includes people just like them.
I, on the other hand, and very specifically defining a single classification of attitudes and behaviors which I believe are deserving of being loaded into a cannon and fired into the sun.
I am not attempting to draw a narrow circle around people "like me" and excluding everyone else. I am drawing a circle around a small population and saying "the rest of humanity is good, but these fuckers can go to hell."
The no true Sctosman bit is about creating a clique. I'm on about discrimination against and identifiable group, where the group I've identified as needing to be discriminated is "entitled douche canoes."
Now, we could argue that I've chosen the wrong word for the group in question. In my experience, those who self-identify as "Hipster", or are most often identified by others as "Hipster" meet the qualifications for deserving to be trapped in a bubble at the bottom of the ocean with Barney playing on infinite repeat. But perhaps there is a fellow out there who self-identifies as Hipster that isn't part of that group. Okay. I've no problem with that. I think he's probably using the wrong term to describe himself, but that's no skin off my nose.
Unlike "No True Scotsman", I am stating my definition of the group which needs to be trapped in a glacier for all time, and don't actually care at all about the term used to describe them, whereas in "No True Scotsman" the focus is on keeping the term but progressively excluding those who don't fit exactly.
You can replace "Hipsters" in the above comments with "calamari-worshiping jelly fanatics" for all I care. So long as we're clear about who needs to be compressed into a singularity, then the term used to describe them is not relevant.
I think I'm clear about how you think hipsters think, although I don't think there are any who really think like that. I've never even met anyone who self-identified as a hipster. I'm not sure what's at the root of your intolerance but in the words of the prophet (Bo Diddley), "You can't judge a book by looking at the cover". Anyway, the word 'hipster' needs to be retired from contemporary parlance - the new usage has quite taken the shine off listening to Lord Buckley monologues. There's a perfectly good word to describe people that's not so specific as to facial hair, glasses etc and it covers the spectrum from estate agent to 'Head of UX' - that word is 'twat'.
Still struggling with the definition ... am I along the right lines?
- NHS specs
- skinny jeans
- handlebar moustache
- Windows phone
- fixed wheel bike
- tattoo of CSS3 cribsheet
Right, that's the women IDed. Now for the blokes ...
I think the precise set of clothing and accoutrements changes with time, but the general rule is "desperately attempting not to look mainstream by dressing exactly like everyone else who is desperately attempting not to look mainstream." At least, if you are attempting to judge based solely on appearance. Which is somewhat valid in this case...
So, depending on when and where you apply the criteria: visit cruel punishments on all skinheads, punks, goths, metallers, etc but be lenient on the man in the C&A chinos (unless the NSA sarcasm detector beeps an irony alert). Or perhaps, and I'm realise I'm perhaps casting unwarranted nasturtiums here, the problem is - young people?
Copying £10 'phones and sticking "Beats" labels on them?
I wonder anyway was it:
Plastics design 100%
Acoustic & Driver design 0%
Do Beats Headsets really use custom or off the shelf moving coil earpiece inserts?
But everyone keeps telling me it's not about the headphones but the Streaming!
Heresy! If there's any reigning to be done then as the king of all things foo I should be the one doing it!
Guards, fetch the guillotine - I hereby decree that tomorrow shall be a national holiday and everyone will go bobbing for 'apples'.
And for god's sake boy, you lead your horse by the reins not the todger! Go and wash your hands.