Klingon and Maori roar into 'mutt's nuts' dictionary

Those of us who don't give a tinker's about an IT angle have been having a fine time compiling the mutt's nuts dictionary - the definitive international guide for those wishing to express excellence in canine testicular terms. This world-class piece of tomfoolery kicked off after we recklessly suggested our Vulture 2 …

[Scott Earle]

What happened to the Thai one?

I know we just had a coup, but it seems churlish to leave it off just because of a little political instability.

[Lester Haines]

Re: What happened to the Thai one?

This is an update. The Thai mutt's nuts is in the previous piece. I'll be doing a complete listing as soon as we're done with contributions.

[Nigel Brown]

In Korea it translates as

Hors d'ouvres or dumplings :)

[Neil Barnes]

Brazilian

My Carioca missus agrees with the translation, but points out that it lacks the same sense as in English. When pressed, she was unable to suggest a similar idiom except perhaps 'legal!' which I feel lacks the same sincerity.

[jwb]

雑種犬な金玉, in Japan family jewels are gold.

[Norman Hartnell]

Cornish

One more for the list!

The mutt's nuts: Diwgel an ki.

[SiempreTuna]

What does el Reg have against Spanish?

Cojones de Pero

I happen to be going to e-Spain tomorrow where I fully intended to confirm the precise reaction it gets. Former efforts at translating English idioms - cabeza de tortuga (requred a visual hint) and tocar algodón (self explanatory .. in context) - went down well. Not quite so confident about this one.

[Lodgie]

Re: What does el Reg have against Spanish?

Whilst I don't wish to be a pedant, I am donning the cap of pedantry:

What you have there is close but wrong, it is balls of but, a dog is perro. Nothing translates particularly well, especially in the plural. cojones de perro is as close as you can probably get. In certain areas this will translate as dog f**k, derived from "balling the dog"

[Alfie]

Doric (Scots)

I guess the literal translation is dugs baws, but for a literal meaning you'd be better with affa fiiine. The length of the vowel in fine is dependant on the greatness you are trying to convey. Minimum of one second to get to mutts nuts level. Although it doesnt quite translate directly as I think Doric lends itself better to complaining rather than approving of something or someone.

[Uncle Slacky]

Re: Doric (Scots)

I suspect it'd be similar to "dugs baws" in Ulster-Scots, too.

[kmac499]

Oirish Orchid ref..

Dig a little into your medical dictionary and you'll find that an orchidectomy is a form of surgical castration required in some cases of gentlemanly cancer.. It's all to do with the physical similarity of the removed item + plumbing and an orchid bulb,,,

[John Savard]

Re: Oirish Orchid ref..

Last I looked, an orchidectomy was the removal of the labia minora and the clitoris. Which you'ld be hard put to find on a gentleman.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Oirish Orchid ref..

Checked it - kmac499 is right, you are wrong. Sorry.

[ElReg!comments!Pierre]

Re: John Savard Oirish Orchid ref..

"an orchidectomy was the removal of the labia minora and the clitoris"

I find this hard to believe given that "orchis" means "testis" in latin and in greek

[smallfry]

Welsh

Cnau'r Ci

Literally "The dog's nuts"

[KjetilS]

Raumkraut protested: "Hundens balla looks more like Swedish to me. Granted, I'm no expert at Norwegian idioms or the intricacies of the language, but in Norwegian it could be hundens baller/boller. Baller means balls, as in sport, and boller can mean anything round-ish.

I can clarify :)

"balla", if Norwegian, must be dialect. The correct written spelling is either "baller" or "ballar", depending on which written language you choose (we have two).

Baller does mean any kind of balls, both sports and others. Boller is the Norwegian word for bowls.

[seanyoung]

Koterkloten means something different in Dutch

"Koters" means children. So that's the kids' bollocks. Perverts.

[ElReg!comments!Pierre]

"Curiously, the Irish word for 'orchid' is magairlín ('testiclette')"

Not that strange, considering the name of these plants quite litterally means "testicled".

[Alan Brown]

>Maori

>

>This flew in from Antipodean reader BlueShiftNZ: "It would translate literally to nga raho o te kuri or nga paoro o te kuri, depending on if you prefer testicles (raho) or balls (paoro)...."

In this context they would be overly formal. You'd probably say rahokurinui (Dog's big testicles)

Once upon a time in New Zealand there was a town called Tutainui (big shit), which was sited on the banks of the Tutaikuri river (dog shit). Unsurprisingly it eventually changed its name to something innoculous - Marton.

[PunkTiger]

Horrorshow!

I think I'm going to using the term "shansharray" from now on. That sounds pretty damn choodessny!

[The last doughnut]

Dothraki

I think you've missed this rather in-vogue language. Any real fans out there willing to translate? Perhaps something along the lines of "teats of the Khalisi"

[Big_Boomer]

Svensk

It really should be "det hundes ballar"

[Eddy Ito]

Simpsons

I'm not certain but believe the translation is "D'ohnuts."

[Anonymous Coward]

Polish

Exactly. So much so in fact that correcting a typo seems worthwhile. The correct version should be: "Polish - 'dog's bollocks' = psie jaja". Please update your update.

[Anonymous Coward]

Those of us who don't give a tinker's about an IT angle have been having a fine time compiling the mutt's nuts dictionary

If you want an IT angle then I remember being greatly amused when in the late 90s in the early days of internet commerce I searched for a shop selling some PC components and got in my search resuts (probably from altavista) that there was a website selling them which went by the name "thedogsdanglies.co.uk" .... and on visiting it found that Scan (think it was them) had registered this as an alternate name for their website!

[loghaD]

Klingon and Swedish

Ha'DIbaH QujmeH moQ would mean something like "animal's play-orbs", which I think I would most likely associate with a toy for pets.

For referring to an animal's balls, you could use moQDu', meaning something like "orbs (which are also body parts)".

To, an animal's balls would be Ha'DIbaH moQDu', and a targ's balls would be targh moQDu' (note that capitalization is very important here; targh is never spelled Targh, and moQDu' is never spelled moqdu').

Oh, and in case you're curious, the word in Swedish would be "hundpung" ("dogpouch").

[tlhonmey]

Re: Klingon and Swedish

My tlhInganHol is rather rusty, but, for the uninitiated, the Du' also makes the statement plural. Without it, it may only be referring to one. So it's kind of necessary both for specifying what type of orb and how many.

You can also use -Daj to specify that the orbs in question are still owned by the dog, as opposed to say, "dog orbs" as an appetizer or something...

targh moQDu'Daj is about the best translation I can think of (given that a targh is about as close to a dog as the Klingons have) but I rather doubt that it would be used as a compliment...

[Beornfrith]

Given that we are all speaking a derivative of the language how about the Old English equivalent? Se docgas beallucas would be the literal translation.

Although you could be a bit theatrical: Hwæt! Se ælmihtig beallucas fram se docga min eages mid wundor byrneð! (Lo! The dog's almighty bollocks burn my eyes with wonder!)

[Gazman]

Newspeak

Doubleplusgood.

[ofoug]

Swedish

The examples so far in the comments do not really sound right. "det hundes ballar" isn't even proper swedish.

"Hundpung" means "dog's scrotum", which doesn't really capture the original nuances, I think. "Hundens ballar" could work, but the problem is that in some parts of Sweden "balle" is a nick-name for the main organ, not the bonus parts underneath. So in those parts of Sweden, "hundens ballar" ("ballar" being plural of "balle") would seem to indicate an (at least) bi-penile dog.

I think the safer option is "kulor" (plural of "kula", which translates to english as "ball"). So "hundens kulor" in that case. But, in the kind of sentences where you seem to use "mutt's nuts", you would probably instead use "hundkulor" for better prose.

"The Register är verkligen tidningsvärldens hundkulor" (which even Google Translate does an acceptable job of handling).

[Craig 28]

Anyone know what it would be in the language of Mordor when written in Elvish script?

[kleinman]

In Fortran

Program dog

parameter(n=101,m=101,luout=10)

parameter(big=10.0, small=1.0)

open(unit=luout,file='dogsballs')

xo = 0.0

zo = 0.0

radius = big

do i = 1 , 2

yo = float(i*2-3)

write(luout,*) n,m,1

call balls(luout,radius,xo,yo,zo,n,m)

enddo

end program dog

subroutine balls(luout,radius,xo,yo,zo,n,m)

pi = 3.14159

do i = 1 , n

theta = 2.0*pi*float(i-1)/float(n)

do j = 1 , m

phi = pi*float(j-1)/float(m)

x = xo + radius*cos(theta)*sin(phi)

y = yo + radius*sin(theta)*sin(phi)

z = zo + radius*cos(phi)

write(luout,*) x, y, z

enddo

enddo

end subroutine balls