back to article Stop bullying SUPER FAT GODZILLA, urge movie stars

The stars of a new Godzilla film have rallied round its big-boned monster star after cruel Japanese bullies renamed it Fatzilla. Twitter users rounded on the corpulent sea beast after publicity shots showed it had piled on a few pounds since the last films. Now the stars of the latest movie have come to the bulky beast's …

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  1. RISC OS

    I think he fatzilla

    has been spotted at the heartattack grill eating a quadruple bypass burger

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I think he fatzilla

      In the US our first glimpse of him has been in Fiat commercials eating the cars. "It looks like he's feeling like Italian tonight". Eventually he chokes on the 500L, an Americanized cheeseburger-fed Fiat.

      1. g e
        Facepalm

        "just a nasty bully"

        Oh come on.

        If any nation should understand that it's the USA...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I think he fatzilla

        You're talking about the same guy that used to chow down on Barrow-in-Furness bus depot? What a lightweight he's become...

        There's an interesting take on the "Japanese think they new Godzilla is fat" story, specifically that it's probably bunk perpetuated by multiple posts from a single guy and the western media's uncritical reporting of anything that comes from other countries (*). Scroll down to #5:-

        http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/8-b.s.-news-stories-that-fooled-your-friends-part-21/

        Also, while I like the "new" 500, the 500L MPV is a mockery of the 1950s (small) 500 it's supposed to be related to; the 7-seat version far moreso.

        (*) Half the weird stuff that's supposedly the latest alleged fad sweeping Japan (or China) are in truth one-off jokes, art projects etc misreported by the Western media. Even things that are real are often hugely exaggerated- the archetypal "used schoolgirl underwear vending machines" were a short-lived-trend and only generally found in or near sex shops, not in every shopping mall as some seemed to think.

        1. Pookietoo

          Re: the 500L MPV is a mockery of the 1950s 500

          Rather like the "new" Mini. Possibly more useful than the original, but a lot less fun.

  2. Mussie (Ed)

    And this is why...

    Godzilla always attacks japan.

    1. Cliff

      Re: And this is why...

      He's there for the whale blubber.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Whalezilla attacks Japan!

        ... a revenge flick. ;)

        Strangely, if someone suggested it to Asylum they'd probably do it.

  3. hplasm
    Paris Hilton

    "It's been sixty years..."

    Trying to block out the last Hollywood version, then?

    1. WonkoTheSane
      Headmaster

      Re: "It's been sixty years..."

      Article is referring to the original 1954 release of "Gojira" - the first appearance of Biggie G

    2. jai

      Re: "It's been sixty years..."

      Trying to block out the last Hollywood version, then?

      aren't we all?

      1. Lamont Cranston
        Go

        Re: "aren't we all?"

        Certainly not! My son has been busy trying to sort out the continuity between the (Hollywood) films, and explain why the new Godzilla is so different to the last one (he cried at the end of that).

        1. A. Coatsworth
          Mushroom

          Re: "aren't we all?"

          Point the young lad to Godzilla: Final Wars. The Hollywood imitation is explained by the characters, mocked and finally annihilated by the Real Godzilla's atomic breath, on top of Sydney's Theater of the opera.

  4. Tromos

    He's OK now...

    ...since filming, he's been on a diet and shed almost two kilograms.

  5. Alastair Dodd 1

    Well we all know

    the camera puts on a few pounds..

  6. knarf

    What do you expect....

    If you eat humans, there are a lot fatter than they were 60years ago.

  7. wolfmeister

    yeah but lets face it.. the original one had a 'fat bird in the queue at Greggs' thighs & arse

  8. wowfood

    LEAVE GODZILLA ALONE

    Seriously zilla you work that body, about time we had a hollywood star with a bit of meat on their bones.

  9. Elmer Phud

    'Partners'

    Slim Jim

    Snickers

    Freal milkshakes

    Red Robin gourmet burgers

    nuff said

  10. ukgnome

    You think he's fat? You should see what Bay has done to Mecha-Godzilla....

  11. Andrew Moore

    False story...

    Apparently, Japan does not think that the latest Godzilla is fat. Just a couple of trolls on a Japanese BB; and the American media blew the story up out of all proportion.

    1. Sartori

      Re: False story...

      Media blowing things out of all proportion? Surely not!

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: False story...

        Media blowing things out of all proportion?

        Absolutely. Look what they did with Godzilla in the new fi... Oh. Never mind.

    2. Grikath
      Coat

      Re: False story...

      Must have jiggled a bit of flab still to have them bite..

    3. Tom 13

      Re: the American media blew the story up

      Well who the heck do think put the trolls there in the first place?

  12. bpfh
    Mushroom

    Modern weapons

    I have to go off at a tangent : When you see that a standard hellfire anti-tank missile can penetrate around 1.5 metres of armour plate, and a bunker buster bomb can penetrate between 2 and 6 metres of concrete, I really have a problem that half the US Army and USAF cannot mortally wound a big lizard in under 5 minutes with the amount of firepower they can bring to bear... Even if the bomb did not explode, having a laser guided 1 ton GBU-24 bomb drilling 46 cm holes in through a lizard's bonce, i would think that would slow it down in a hurry...

    1. Havin_it

      Re: Modern weapons

      Oh dear, that's embarrassing. And you can see they were aiming for utmost realism in the film about a 2-mile-tall bipedal iguana. Do you want to tell them, or shall I?

    2. graeme leggett

      Re: Modern weapons

      Godzilla shoots nuclear fire breath and you're concerned that depiction of (puny) human weaponry in the films is unrealistic?

    3. Dapprman

      Re: Modern weapons

      Ah but all that extra blubber he's put on in recent decades acts like composite armour by compressing with energy being expelled through the waves of fat coming from the impact point (a but like an organic vesion of chobham).

      1. 4ecks
        Joke

        Re: Organic Chobham

        Is that known as "Chubby-Ham"?

    4. 7

      Re: Modern weapons

      No to all your points, because this is Batma ... I mean, Godzilla. He says hello to your little friends, then eats them and farts fire.

  13. Fihart

    Super Fat Mozilla ?

    Just upgraded to new format Firefox. Seems speedier than traditional version -- don't mind that.

  14. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Joke

    Americanized Godzilla?

    Nah, he's into sumo. Perfectly Japanese

  15. Your alien overlord - fear me
    Alien

    Sea rising?

    Every time he goes back in the ocean the sea levels rise. Nothing to do with global warming.

  16. Jim 59

    Dinosaur dough-boy

    pix or it didn't happen

    update - yeah I see the blubbery biped. He's not climbing a skyscraper anytime soon.

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  18. Inachu

    ewwww

    American version of GODZILLA totally sucks!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Moviegoers need a Godzilla they can relate to!

    Hey, I dare you to remain planted in a movie theater seat for 2 hours with your large soda, large popcorn with extra butter and a box of Milk Duds, and not put on a little weight yourself!

  20. The last doughnut
    Happy

    Apparently Iguana tastes a bit like chicken.

    Anyway I think we need to know his BMI. Anyone seen the film and can contribute estimates of height and weight?

  21. Frank N. Stein

    Didn't Godzilla attack New York in the last movie too? He's no longer attacking Japan, as he apparently is looking for Fiat's to eat. That begs the question, why he didn't just attack Italy, instead?

  22. AbeSapian

    Maybe It's the Camera

    Remember, the camera always adds about 10 pounds to anything it photographs.

    1. Martin Budden Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Maybe It's the Camera

      Cool! Sounds like an easy way to double my bank balance :-)

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Stevie

    Bah!

    If them Japanese don't watch it, Godzilla will cross the ocean and kick the living shirt out of *their* most famous city ... bugger.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Godzilla: Supersize Me!

  26. Arachnoid

    Maybe there are two Godzillas

    And this one is merely a generic representation of what seems to be the aspirations of the American audience to consume more calories than they burn.

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