back to article Internet of Stuff: Cleaner washing, more milk ... fewer COW FARTS?

Regulating cow farts to control the greenhouse effect? That’s the thing about the Internet of Things – and technology in general: you can never tell where your work will end up. Speaking at the recent Future World Symposium, ARM’s director of IoT platforms, Simon Ford, reckoned this is one of the problems facing IT vendors …


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  1. Dr_N

    ARMed Cows

    So It's come full circle:

    Starting out with a cow feeder and ending up being "fed" to cows.

    1. frank ly

      Re: ARMed Cows

      Thank you for giving me an excuse for this.....

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: ARMed Cows

        Should be linked to a collar with LEDs on it.

        The LEDs will show the angle of cow lean and flash red just before tipping point.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: ARMed Cows

          I told my father in law about cow tipping.... He's a cattle farmer. He looked at me like I was retarded and I swear he still thinks I'm a complete urban feckwit who knows nothing about the countryside....

          I was young and mis-informed by others who said they did it. I still can't believe I was that idiot that believed them....

          1. Desidero

            Re: ARMed Cows

            I do believe in fairies, I do, I do...

            Cow-tipping only stopped due to regulation and prohibition - probably your dad-in-law was brought up after the dark period of repression began - in the old days there was a regular cottage industry built up around it. For some time, cows would even tip themselves just as they have to get rid of excess milk, but after a few generations they seem to have weaned themselves off of it.

            Do Androids salivate over electronic nanofabric steak? Moo Moo.

  2. weebs

    Cows actually burp methane, not fart. QI is glorious sometimes.

  3. Refugee from Windows

    Hello from the real world

    Okay, we're already giving measured suppliments to our* cows and automatically recording milk yield in a herd with 200 going through the parlour each day. We don't have an wireless access point in the dairy and I doubt one'd handle the numbers passing through. Good luck getting it all to tie in with the milk recording software, and even more trying to get one of those down the entire herd's throats without being kicked.

    *Not mine personally but as I seem to spend a disprortionate time assisting sorting out their tech then they might as well be, they even "borrow" my collie on occasions.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Non-farting humans in the future

    In the future not even humans fart. We've solved that problem within the next 100 years. And we have flying cars(without wings).

    1. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Non-farting humans in the future

      "And we have flying cars(without wings)."

      I'd prefer to see them with wings - that flap :)

  5. Arachnoid

    Maybe its human intervention

    On the animals natural diet thats causing the excess gas problem,incidentally how does one actually measure a reduction in green cow gas [grass]?

    1. Horridbloke

      Re: animal's natural diet

      The animal doesn't really have a natural diet, because it isn't a natural animal. The domestic breeds used to produce beef or milk are a long way removed from the beasts our ancestors first decided to corral and use.

  6. Fading

    Time to test your 133t skillz

    And be the first to hack some cows.

    1. Mpeler

      Re: Time to test your 133t skillz

      Ahhh....mincemeat (or hamburger, across the pond)

      (wow, that'd be a lotta hamburger....)....

      Cows with puns....

      mmmh, mmmh, ........ barbecue -----------------------------------------------------------------^

  7. dogged

    > Regulating cow farts to control the greenhouse effect?

    Not this again. Cows don't fart (although some gas is passed with faeces). They burp. It's the four stomachs thing. Get a faceful of cow-belch and you know about it.

    My old man was a dairy farmer. I grew up working with cattle. Sometimes, cows eat too much fresh grass or silage that hasn't stopped fermenting and the back two stomachs gradually fill with gas and then you're going to have to pierce the abdominal wall and stomach to stop them dying in agony - not a thing that would happen if they could just fart it out.

    The smell when you do this is unbelievable, but hey, it saves lives.

  8. Arachnoid

    it isn't a natural animal

    Yes its an inbred mutation built either for maximal beef or milk production but it would still survive on a natural diet.

  9. thx1138v2

    But, but, but...

    ...reducing cow farts will destroy the Bovine Flatulence Credits Exchange where non-farmers who own land can get credits for the cows they don't raise and can sell or lease the credits they get for not raising cows to those farmers who do raise cows and must purchase credits to offset their cows' flatulence.

    1. P. Lee

      Re: But, but, but...

      Sounds like the Australian power company who offer a service of going out and shooting some wild camels on your behalf, to help you offset your carbon footprint.

  10. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Mpeler

    Cows actually burp methane...

    "Cows actually burp methane, not fart. QI is glorious sometimes."

    Hopefully they don't smoke at the same time (while watching the wingless cars flying overhead)...:)

    Instant BBQ.....moooooooooooooooooooo

    I'll have a beer with that burger....

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