Please no, not Zac Efron or any other largely talentless Disney "child star or teen-idol". And no ****ing time travel either - although I'll accept that there's a chance that an actor like Zac Efron might not ruin the film totally, adding time travel to it will.
Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear of, er, a cheese-tastic title?
The seventh instalment of the Star Wars movie franchise will be named “The Ancient Fear”, whisper anonymous sources, while more rumours gather over the final cast list for JJ Abrams' latest feature. Writer, director and producer JJ Abrams (top centre right) at the cast read-through of Star Wars Episode VII at Pinewood Studios …
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 13:56 GMT wolfetone
Disney own Star Wars now, it's their bitch. And as it's their bitch they will, unfortunately, do what they like with it. So queue all the child stars from their other films appearing in this.
Not totally sure time travel would ruin Star Wars. But, you know, it could be worse.
Ja Ja Binks could make a return, and no one wants that.
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 14:34 GMT Tom 11
@ Nick RE: Efron
Obviously you've not seen him in recent titles where his character has actually got a proper brief rather than make the girlies squeal. Most stuff he's done in past 2 or 3 years where he is clearly trying to move away from this type-casting have been great. Watch 'The Paperboy' he's pretty damn good in that, and I for one am looking forward to seeing what he can do in Starwars!
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 12:49 GMT Anonymous Coward
My worst fear about the new SW movie
I want to go and see it and be surprised (and hopefully enjoy it!), but because of all the anticipation it's going to be discussed, dissected, leaked, pulled apart, trailed, marketed, and interviewed to death long before I finally get in front of a cinema screen to watch it.
I need to find a way to AVOID all the coming hype for the next couple of years until it's released!
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 16:20 GMT Dave 126
Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie
> it's going to be discussed, dissected, leaked, pulled apart, trailed, marketed, and interviewed to death
I liked Peter Jackson's sense of humour - during one of his 'Making of The Hobbit' video diaries, he opens a desk draw to reach for something, revealing a folder marked 'Star Wars Episode VII script'. Most internet pudits assumed it was a wind-up!
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Thursday 8th May 2014 03:22 GMT Steven Roper
Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie
I need to find a way to AVOID all the coming hype for the next couple of years until it's released!
That's not as hard as it seems. I've managed to shield myself very effectively from goss, hype, viral marketing and and even advertising for many years now. I've been able to watch Game of Thrones, for example, without falling victim to the spoiler trolls (well, I did get spoiled for the Season 1 shocker but that taught me to avoid all online discussions of the show thereafter.)
Here's how you do it in 5 simple steps:
1. If you have TV reception in your house, get rid of it. No TV. Ever. No matter what. Even if Vladimir Putin declares war on the whole of Europe and is about to nuke all England to ash - you don't watch TV. Same goes for radio reception - if you have a radio in your house, get rid of it. (If Putin decides to nuke England, you're better off dead anyway!)
2. To keep in touch with he world and keep up with the news, set a few news sites of your choice on your browser's home tabs. Then you can pick and choose what news you want to be exposed to. (This way if Putin decides to nuke England you can still read about it online while avoiding any articles about Star Wars!)
3. Download or stream whatever shows or movies you want to watch. If you look around, you can watch those shows without any adverts and at a time of your choosing. Same with any music you like listening to - you don't need to get it from the radio.
4. If you haven't already, install the AdBlock Plus addon into your browser. This will shield you effectively from most internet advertising.
5. Stay out of any forums, blogs, fansites, articles or social media pages relating to Star Wars (or anything else you want to shield yourself from. I avoid Game of Thrones sites for this reason.) If you really need to discuss it, pick just one forum (like this one!) and confine your explorations of Star Wars to it.
If you follow these steps, you'll be surprised at how well you can shield yourself from the hype!
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Thursday 8th May 2014 00:50 GMT veti
Re: After the phantom menace, never again for me..
Seriously? Rather than spending a tenner to see it at a cinema and get it over with, you'll spend three times that to get it in a format that requires you to give it shelf space thereafter, no matter how gruesome it is?
Oh well, de gustibus non est disputandum and all that...
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 13:35 GMT NoneSuch
Can we have a little sanity here?
There's nothing worse that hearing all about a film before it gets released. Movie critics who get special advance screenings (and free popcorn, snacks, and goody bags of swag) really tick me off when they release their reviews days before the film even opens. Here's a novel concept; How about you let me make up my own mind. Films the critics initially hated (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Predator, Happy Gilmore, and many more) went on to make billions in box office.
All this speculation (this article only cites anonymous sources which could be the same twisted bloke with two email accounts) accomplishes nothing. Let them make the film (And all the others in the pipe - Avengers 2, for example) then let us see it and make up our own mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTc4zI_7-Ms
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 16:26 GMT Dave 126
Re: Can we have a little sanity here?
>really tick me off when they release their reviews days before the film even opens.
Er, isn't it the reviewer's job to give an idea of whether a film is worth spending £10 and 2 hours on watching?
Simply, there are not enough hours in the day for me to 'make up my own mind' about every film that is made from around the world.
Generally, films that are withheld from critics by the studios before general release are dreadful.
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 14:00 GMT Justice
Dunno why so many peeps dismiss Disney. They've done a stirling job on the Marvel franchise since they took over and the news that characters from the new animated series Star Wars: Rebels will be tying in with Episode VII just made me nerdgasm as much as Season 6 of Clone Wars.
Yeah, it's for kids and I'm a big old 45 year old one.
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 14:15 GMT jai
Re: Past of future history
Days of Future Past? But why is it so bad? the plot for the film comes from the story arc in the comics that had that same title. so the title for the film seems rather apt, telling you exactly which plotline from the comic it is adapting to the film.
and considering the plot is all about the people in the future going back into the past to fix the errors made there and so save everyone from persecution in the future, it's not too bad. it's much along the lines of Back to the Future, as a grammatically convoluted title goes.
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 16:27 GMT Anonymous Coward
I'm not a big Star Wars fan, so I'm not personally offended, but damn, that *is* a crappily bland title.
And yes, "A New Hope" *is* rubbish and bland too, but remember that was never the film's original title (which was simply "Star Wars" (*)) and was only slapped on for the post-Empire Strikes Back reissue. Even then, as far as I can tell (and from what I remember growing up) that name was never used in marketing- the film was still widely known as "Star Wars".
It was only after the prequels came out that people started going on about it. I doubt the studio would ever have let the original film come out as "A New Hope" in the first place- it sounds like exactly what it was meant to be, an "episode" title, not a film name.
(*) Which is also cheesey and generic, but at least fun-sounding.
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Wednesday 7th May 2014 22:10 GMT OrsonX
Episode VII: Crimes Against Art
I know you can be tried for crimes against humanity (killing lots of people, being generally horrible, etc), but what about crimes agains art? Surely George Lucas can be indited for Episodes I to III? How long did he have to come up with the script? How wrong did he get it? Why didn't anybody stop him?! Like many of us I know the script for the original movies, the only line I remember from the new ones is "I'sa Jar Jar Binks!"
No VII for me.
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Thursday 8th May 2014 09:46 GMT Rhiakath Flanders
Disney's Star Wars - The Phantom Blot ( returns )...
In a small cabin in the middle of the forest:
Mickey-Wan Kenobi ( with traditional high-pitched voice ) - "Come, my padawans. Come, settle down and feel the Force. Let us practice. Let it flow through you..."
Morty and Ferdie ( in a food fight with Goofy Binks ) - "In a minute, uncle..."
Goofy Binks - "Yack Yack! Meesa thinks this all dirty! Food everywhe' ! A-Yack!"
Mickey-Wan Kenobi breathes deeply, raises his hand slightly, and a broom starts to levitate. It starts sweeping the room of its own accord...
Suddenly, he opens his eyes widely...
Mickey-Wan Kenobi - "I feel a disturbance in the Force"...
A door explodes... Shards everywhere, and smoke... Morty and Ferdie crawl behind Mickey, while Goofy stands stunned looking for some light, while his ears cover his eyes..
Suddenly, a shadow takes shape in the smoke. Then suddenly there are three of them... All dressed in white plastic armor, with their blasters in their hands, the three elite beagle-troopers enter the room. Their names too horrendous to be pronounced, they are know throught the galaxy as 176-167, 176-671, and 176-176.
They sweep the room with their blasters, screaming everyone to look down...
Then, a new shadow takes form in the smoke....
The Emperor himself appears before Kenobi, with his trusted right-hand Pete...
Emperor Phantom Blot - "We finally meet, old guy... Last time we met, I was but a pupil... Now I am the master!!!!"
Pete - "Uh, yeah! What he says!"
The emperor raises his hand, does a slashing movement, and suddenly, the broom splits in two. And three... And they keep splitting until there's an army of brooms, all carrying buckets of water to clean up the place...
A contageous tune starts sounding.. The brooms all start marching...
Goofy keeps running around in circles, looking for the light ( while still having his eyes covered with his ears ), until he trips on a broom. The broom falls violently to the ground, letting his bucket full of water fly across the room, right into Pete, who , as a reflex to catch the bucket, drops his saber. The saber falls right into the Emperor's foot. The Emperor, in his pain, lashes out a large spread of Force Lightning that detonates the remaining thermal detonators in the storm-troopers belts...
Everything is blown into oblivion...
When the smoke and debris dissipates nothing is left of the brooms, beagle troopers, or the cabin.
The emperor is nowhere to be found, and neither is Pete.
Goofy Binks stands beneath a huge pile of hay while Mickey-Wan Kenobi is projecting a Force field to protect himself and his padawans...
May this be the end of the Empire???
( My apologies if the names don't make sense, but I only knew the Portuguese names of the characters... I had to google for these )
This topic is closed for new posts.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
