So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission is on temporary hold today while we attempt to answer a question of vital linguistic import: just how do you say "the mutt's nuts" in French? Last week we unveiled the magnificent finished livery of our Vulture 2 spaceplane... The Space Graphics Solutions team poses …

[andreas koch]

Deutsch.

Apart from the fact that people in the old Vaterland wouldn't refer to a specially good thing that way the translation would be: "Die Nüsse des Hundes". Alternatively you could call the male canine gonads "Eier" (eggs), which is more common.

To preserve the colloquial humour I would propose: "Die Klöten des Köters*". I don't think anyone ever said that, but it sounds cool. At least for northerners with a soft spot for alliterations; I don't think "Klöten" is used in the south...

* The "ö" is rather like the "i" and half the "r" in "first". A bit like the Swedish chef from the muppets.

[Lester Haines]

Die Klöten des Köters

Yeah, I like that one.

['s water music]

Re: Deutsch.

Alternatively you could call the male canine gonads "Eier" (eggs)

However, dogs' eggs has a different colloquial meaning in English. Gotta love word play.

[Cliff]

Welsh any help?

My Welsh is a little rusty but I believe 'Cnau Cwn' to be perfectly valid colloquial Welsh for dogs bollocks (word order is reversed, cnau meaning nuts in both senses, cwn meaning dogs in the plural/general sense as opposed to an individual dog).

Happy to be corrected by the way, I wish I had more opportunities to practice my Welsh TBH.

[andreas koch]

@ Cliff - Re: Welsh any help?

But we're looking for the possessive " 's ", not the plural " s " aren't we?

I don't actually speak Welsh, so take that with a pinch of salt.

And before someone tells me, I just saw that there's a comma missing between "good thing that way" and "the translation would be". To late for editing. My bad.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @ Cliff - Welsh any help?

I'm rusty too, but I think "the dog's nuts" would be "y cnau'r ci".

[Hywel Thomas]

Re: @ Cliff - Welsh any help?

I'd offer that "the mutts' nuts" would be "cnau'r cŵn" and "the mutt's nuts" is "cnau'r ci".

I don't think you need the 'y' because it's already in the contraction. "cnau y ci" -> "cnau'r ci".

It may be that in real use it'd just be 'cnau ci' though.

"Old chap, this microwave is the mutt's nuts!" -> "Mae'r pobty ping 'ma yn cnau ci gwboi!".

I rarely speak, and only remain fluent in the domain specific Welsh (Y Clwb Rygbi), so I anticipate further corrections.

[JDC]

Spanish

I've never heard the Spanish use "nueces" as a euphemism for "cojones", just checked with the Spaniard sitting next to me and he hasn't either... Huevos (eggs) would be the usual one.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Spanish

Likewise, no one here has ever heard nueces used in that sense.

So far my colleagues have come up with "es la ostia". However it is early in the morning and once the brain cells get ticking they may think of more.

[Lester Haines]

Re: Re: Spanish

Well, round my way they say "mucho ruido, pocas nueces", meaning "gobs off a lot, but doesn't back it up". You get the picture.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Spanish

Give a spaniard the chance to be linguistically creative and they will, a couple more

es de puta madre

es la polla <-- getting close wrt body parts

[Lester Haines]

Re: Re: Spanish

My absolute fave is "perroflauta" (crusty). For our non-Spanish-speaking readers, this translates as "dogflute", in honour of crusties alleged penchant for hanging around with dogs on string, playing flutes to beg cash.

http://projetbabel.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=17858

[A K Stiles]

Re: Re: Re: Spanish

So that translates to the fairly similar "All mouth, and no trousers" ? I think that's a well known phrase in most of this green and pleasant land, but I still occasionally discover that something I think is in common usage ends up being a Scottish-ism - like when I stuck my head into a bar at Uni to see how busy it was and reported back to the group that we should go elsewhere, 'cos it was "hoaching in there!"

[Lester Haines]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Spanish

Yup, that's exactly the translation.

[fandom]

Re: Spanish

"Mucho ruido y pocas nueces" is how Shakespeare's play "Much ado about nothing" is called in Spanish.

The expression is not about cojones, not literally anyway

[Peter Simpson 1]

Re: Spanish

All hat and no cattle?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Spanish

> mucho ruido, pocas nueces

Yes, but that comes from the sound of cracking nuts. That expression does not have any sexual overtones and is not vulgar.

For the record, in French there is no expression equivalent to "the dog's bollocks" in terms of both meaning and emphasis. To say that something is remarkably good, in the general sense, one would use mildly emphatic and familiar but definitely non-vulgar expressions such as "C'est superbe" or "C'est génial". Going down the way of vulgarity, expressions such as "[Putain,] c'est bien foutu ça!" could be used in certain contexts to mean that something is very good--although it could also mean "That's pretty fucked" in the sense of being in a state of disrepair.

[Dan 55]

Re: Spanish

My favourite Spanish one is malfollado/a, which literally translates as "badly shagged" and means "extremely irritable."

The idea is it's worse if someone's badly shagged than not shagged at all.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Spanish

> The idea is it's worse if someone's badly shagged than not shagged at all.

And ain't that the truth? :-(

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Spanish

Final Spanish suggestion

Cojonudo

[Anomalous Cowshed]

Les couilles du clebs

As emeritus professor of Freunch at a renowned Mickey Mouse university, I believe the correct translation into French is:

Zeu deug's bolleucks

Where 'deug' stands for 'member of the canis canis tribe of the canides species, and 'bolleucks' is a colloquialism which depicts the external gonads of a male animal

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Les couilles du clebs

I second that, at least where I worked in Bordeaux. No idea whence or why but "dogze boloques" was definitely an expression we used occasionally. Simply "boloques" was more common, as in "c'est ze boloques", ou "mettre ses boloques sur la table", but we're moving into proper franglais territory with the latter.

[Martin Budden]

Re: Les couilles du clebs

Zeu deug's bolleucks

I listened very carefully, because you said it only once.

[Hans 1]

Ok, so we need something in French that means the following:

1. the best you can get

2. some reference to testicles, ideally of a dog

I could not find the ideal candidate, but "bijoux de famille" springs to mind, "family jewels".

"couilles de cleps" is the literal translation but means nothing more than dogs testicles ...

[Irony Deficient]

rising to the challenge of a good translation

Hans 1, I can’t think of an existing idiom that combines those two pieces; we’ll probably need to coin our own. Perhaps something like dard de clébard (literally “mutt’s spear”, though to my knowledge, dard is not currently used to represent any part of a dog’s anatomy, and clébard is a bit more pejorative than “mutt” — maybe “cur” would be closer)?

[Eponymous Cowherd]

Testicul par canem

as we say in ancient Rome.....

[grammarpolice]

Re: Testicul par canem

Actually no.

Colei canis is what you're after.

[Peter Simpson 1]

Re: Testicul par canem

Romanes eunt domum!

[Martin Budden]

Re: Testicul par canem

The quote you are looking for is "Romanes eunt domus".

Now write it out a hundred times. And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your (dog's) balls off.

[Scott Earle]

How about in Thai?

Thai doesn't have any possessives (or plurals, singulars, tenses, articles [definite or indefinite], or pretty much any grammar at all - making the language a tad tricky to learn!), and so the phrase would be ไข่หมา - literally meaning 'egg dog', but in this context would be "the eggs of [a/some/the] dog(s)".

Eggs are used to refer to the male gonads, presumably for their fragility?

Because of the tonal nature of the language, the pronunciation is a little tricky, but it would be "khai maa" with the first word said with a low tone, and the second with a rising tone.

[Lester Haines]

Re: How about in Thai?

Beautiful.

[hplasm]

Re: How about in Thai?

ไข่หมา - literally meaning 'egg dog'

With noodles?

[Scott Earle]

Re: How about in Thai?

And chillis!

[Martin Budden]

Re: How about in Thai?

ไข่หมา - literally meaning 'egg dog'

With noodles?

Poodle's doodles with noodles?

[Anonymous Coward]

And in Italian...

..it would be "le palle del cane" , or alternatively, "i coglioni del cane".

(nuts are "noci" pron. "noshy", balls as "palle" pron. rhymes with "gall-ee", balls as in gonads are "coglioni" pron. "kollyonee")

Unfortunately, in Dante's and Manzoni's blessed language you'd -never- say something to be cool as "i coglioni del cane", since said gonads are not held in great respect.

You do, however, say, especially in Southern Itay, that "sei indietro come i coglioni del cane", meaning "you're late as a dog's nuts" in regards to something that has happened before you knew of it.

Oh, and in Latin it would be "testiculi canis" , or "colei canis", I believe.

[Lester Haines]

Re: And in Italian...

So, "testiculi canis est"?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: And in Italian...

interesting: should the "it" being referred by "it's the dog's bollocks" be treated as masculine singular or neutral, or even plural?

I believe the neutral gender is more widely applicable, so the complete phrase would be "hoc testiculi canis est" , with Hoc for "this". In case of a multitude of appreciative gonadery (?!) I'd prefer "haec testiculi canis sunt".

I' believe I'm correct, even if my Latin is a bit rusty, so it's not the -complete- testiculi canis.

Also, it appears that the -other- latin word for bollocks, "coleus", comes from Ancient Greek "Koleos" (sheath), and "Kùon" is Dog, but that's another kettle of pisces.

Oh, and to express the wondrousness of something, you'd say " E' una ficata !" (it's a pussy-ite!) (as in not the feline sense) , pron. "Pheekat-aa".

[EddieD]

Gaelic

Cù magairle...

According to the indefinite oracle Mr Fry, the expression comes from Meccano, which had two kits, large and small - the small was box standard (bog standard), the larger box deluxe which spoonerised to dogs bollocks.

This may be complete cojones however.

If I get a chance I'll ask some of the cunning linguists here for further translations.

[Ben Bonsall]

Re: Gaelic

Pretty sure they retracted that as it was bollocks.

Mecano came in sets called A, B, C etc...

[EddieD]

Re: Gaelic

Ah - I don't have a telly, so I see the program infrequently... it sounded bollocks at the time - but plausible bollocks like a lot of the bollocks on that program.

[Sir Barry]

English

In my local lingo it would be The dogs bollocks...

[Vinyl-Junkie]

Re: English

Actually it would be either "the dog's bollocks" (one dog) or "the dogs' bollocks" (two or more dogs)...

[Anonymous Coward]

Japanese

How about "inu no kintama" for the Japanese translation. 犬の金玉. Literally "dogs gold balls".

[Lester Haines]

Re: Japanese

I just did a Google image search on that. It appears to be the correct phrase.

[Paul Woodhouse]

Re: Japanese

isn't that, Dog's Gold Jade?..

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Re: Japanese

玉. is either 'tama' (kun-yomi) or 'gyoku' (on-yomi). If it's in a compound it's much more likely to use kun-yomi (Japanese style reading) and mean "ball" or a round thing. Like 'eyeball' is 'medama' (with tama undergoing a sound change, becoming dama). The on-yomi (Chinese style reading) by itself would mean "jewel" or "jade" (the material). There might be some compound words (eg, 玉石, ぎょくせき, gems and stones) that use the on-yomi, but I think that the tama/ball reading is much more usual (eg, 玉石 also has the reading たまいし, a pebble/boulder/round stone).

[Pypes]

Re: Japanese

Shouldn't that be tanuki no kintama, as the tanuki is regarded in Japanese folklore as having exceptionally large balls, and said large balls being considered lucky.

[Pypes]

Re: Japanese

Slighty more pedantic pidgin japanese:

kore wa tanuki no kintama desu (drop the trailing u off the desu when speaking)

"This is (the) tanuki('s) testicles"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Re: Japanese

How about "inu no kintama" for the Japanese translation. 犬の金玉. Literally "dogs gold balls".

I have a copy of "Japanese Street Slang" at home. As you might imagine, it has a whole section devoted to testicles :) Kintama is the #1 word they recommend, but (as with many of the words in the book) I've never heard it spoken. It does seem to have a good pedigree, though (no pun intended).

The other word that I was actually going to suggest is in there too: O-inari. The 'o' at the start is an honorific prefix. Look up the web to see pictures of "Inari sushi" (contracted to "inarizushi"). For example, this one. From the resemblance to scrota, it should be obvious that people could understand its slang use. The only thing about using it with kitsune (as opposed to inu) as some people have suggested is that there's also a kami (somewhere between a spirit and a god) named Inari, and the kitsune are his messengers. If you said something like 'kitsune no inari", people might thing you were referring to the kami and get confused. You'd just have to try it out on a native Japanese speaker.

On another related point, I'm sure loads of you have heard the story about how the dog's bollocks could have come from Meccano sets and the "Box Deluxe". I'm sure that's pure bollocks. I always thought that the idea came because there must (self-evidently) be something good about them (the dog's bollocks) because they like to lick them so much. I've always wondered if the phrase translated literally into other languages because it would be strong support for the "self-evident" etymology theory. When I heard 'la puta madre' in Spanish I thought it literally meant 'dog's bollocks' (madra being the Irish word for dog, but that's a false friend). Alas, although it does translate to it in English, it's not a literal translation.

Anyway, this is all vital research, and I'm glad that el Reg is championing it in its pages. Thumbs up!

[CT]

But why are we translating it literally?

- surely we need a phrase in the other language which means "something really good", and which is also slightly rude in that language. A literal translation won't carry the positive meaning of the English.

And anyway, how come a description of a dog's gentleman's parts means "something really good"?

Is it by analogy with the "bee's knees"? Which doesn't make literal sense either.

And while we're there, is it a dog's breakfast or a dog's dinner to describe something that's a bit of a mess?

I'm confused. And I'm a translator.

How many translators does it take to change a lightbulb? - Depends on the context.

[DJO]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

The derivation of "Bees Knees" is simple, it's a corruption of "Business"

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

In that vein, I've used an extension of the dog's bollocks since (I think) I heard it on 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue'. Which is the badger's nadgers. It sound's pleasing, rather like the mutt's nuts.

I'm assuming that the reason the dog's bollocks are considered so good, is because the dog seems to think they are. Given how much time they spend licking them.

[Matt 21]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

My understanding is the same: Dogs spend a lot of time licking them so they must be good. The, slightly politer, term used around here is the dog's doo-dars.

['s water music]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

My understanding is the same: Dogs spend a lot of time licking them so they must be good. The, slightly politer, term used around here is the dog's doo-dars.

Dogs spend a lot of their time licking their nuts because they can.

[Matt 21]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

Nearest I can think of in Bruxellois is "tof" or "tof in den hof" if I think of the feeling rather than a direct translation.

Speaking of which, do the Canadians say "les gosse de le chien"?

[Dave Stevens]

Re: Canadians

Les gosses du chien ou plutot la poche du chien.

Meaning the scrotum rather than the balls, but that's how it goes...

[Stoneshop]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

Is it by analogy with the "bee's knees"? Which doesn't make literal sense either.

If you go from "bee's knees" via "wasp's nipples" to "the entire set of erogenous zones of every major flying insect of the Western world." it's clear that either of this descriptions is of something desirable.

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

At least bees actually have knees. And dogs have bollocks. Cat's don't have pyjamas.

And I pity the person who tried to get one to wear them... Although I suppose the phrase could be re-purposed, to give an expression of success through suffering.

So you could say something like, your new super-firework is the cat's pyjamas. However I can see that you've suffered similar facial and hand injuries to the man who dressed the cat.

[Tim Wolfe-Barry]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

Snerk, Splutter!

Just snorted my bedtime coffee onto the keyboard!

I just want to add that this conversation is absolutely spiffing (now translate that!) and quite a lot more interesting than writing emails to colleagues in California which is the usual reason for being on-line at this point in the day...

Thank-you

[death&taxes]

Re: But why are we translating it literally?

...surely 'attempted to dress the cat'?

[Velv]

les caniches griffonnages

The Poodles Doodles - much more refined :)

[Tim99]

Strine

Sticks out like dog's balls is an Oz phrase for the obvious.

>>=============> Because I'm as dry as a dead dingo's donger...

[Anonymous Coward]

In Yorkshirese

It's aw-r-eight - sometimes among the lower class pronounced - It's aw-reet

or

It'll do

[Anonymous Coward]

Eggs and balls

Dear Lester, afaik, Spaniards also like to use "huevos" to describe balls :-)

[Lester Haines]

Re: Eggs and balls

They do indeed.

[dv]

Czech

The literal translation to Czech would be something like "psí koule", pronounced like [psee cole-eh] - literally dog's balls). This has however the unfortunate negative connotation in some colloquial contexts (and is not used frequently in Czech in and of itself).

To describe something good and staying in the testicular context, you would say that "<...> má koule" [mah cole-eh], lit. <something> has balls. The primary meaning is that the so-described something/someone has a strong, outstanding, positive characteristic, mainly used as a synonym for bravery (same as in English, i.e. someone can have balls), but can also be used to mean strong taste etc. (for example a meal, a drink or a music piece can "have balls" in Czech).

To express that something posesses a unique, excellent quality, bestowed upon it by its creator, you'd say it's "hrozně dobrý" (awfully good), "kurva pěkný" ([an expletive meaning "a prostitute" used as a superlative for the next word] nice) or "boží" (godly).

[Uffish]

French

French translaitor's forums, dictionaries of argot and verlan etc were not much help. Best I can cobble together is: "Comme les couilles de mon dogue, lèchées à la perfection". Yes, "couilles" is feminine.

[dogged]

Re: French

> Yes, "couilles" is feminine.

In the grand tradition of latinate languages, as per "mentula".

[JimmyPage]

Idiom ?

If we're trying to achieve the *sense* of mutts nutts, then ISTR (certainly in Paris) a common equivalent would be "C'est les pieds" (It's the feet).

No, I don't know why.

[Uffish]

Re: Idiom ?

Cough, well actually, erm..

"L'expression fait allusion, non pas à l'extrémité d'un membre inférieur, mais à une mesure de longueur. Le pied équivaut à environ 33 cm.

Prendre son pied était donc, pour une femme, le fait de prendre son plaisir étant donné le caractère exceptionnel de la dimension du membre de son partenaire".

[JimmyPage]

@Uffish

Merci bien, cul sec !

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Idiom ?

>"C'est les pieds" (It's the feet)

Maybe if you manage to walk through Paris without getting dog crap on your feet you may be so delighted that said expression bursts forth in astonishment.

[Anonymous Coward]

In Finnish it translates literally to "koiran pallot" ([the] dog's [possessive/genitive case] balls [nominative plural]). Don't think it would be used for anything other than describing the anatomy of a male canine though, as neither that term or anything similar is in my Finnish slang dictionary.

[Sweep]

koiran pallit

Pallit= bollocks

[Mookster]

Na, I'd go with: "Koiran Munat"

(Although "Munat" is eggs, you'd get some very funny looks if you went into a shop and asked for them)

[Jedit]

The correct term is...

... "les valseuses", in the context of goolies. Or so I'm led to believe by the movies, anyway.

[Gordon 8]

In Hokien

According to my wife it would be

Lien Cheow

狗胡说八道

The english text is Phonetic

What ever it is, itsounds dodgy to me

[Uffish]

Re: In Hokien

Would that be a Cheow-awa?

[Sweep]

The dug's baws

In Scots.

Hundens balla in Norwegian.

[Anonymous Coward]

Quebecois

Not a translation, but the equivalent phrase for French Quebecois is "The cat's arse". Presumably also good enough to lick....

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Quebecois

Let me get this straight. In Quebec they think a cat's arse is good enough to lick and in Ontario they have a predilection for the anal glands of beavers?

I would ask to be reminded never to go to Canada but I don't think that will be necessary.

[Dave Stevens]

Re: Quebecois

Cul de chat? Never heard anything of the sort. Must be some regionalism. Lac St-Jean, maybe?

I googled it and I really wished I hadn't.

[David 14]

Re: Quebecois

Not just Quebecois-Canadian... but being in Newfoundland, Canada, we use the same expression.... except no so polite... "the cat's ass" is our more vulgar expression for something good.... "the cat's meow" for those wishing to be more polite.

Strangely enough, an expression here to describe a person who is a proficient tradesman in welding is that he/she "could weld the arse on a cat".... which is, I am sure, related in heritage to the previous vernacular.

[Salts]

William Caxton...

:--

http://bygonebureau.com/2010/01/20/the-secret-history-of-typography-in-the-oxford-english-dictionary/

[All names Taken]

Boules?

Boules!

[bpfh]

Les couilles du clébard

Would probably be the best translation, a clébard (or "clebs" for short) is a mutt or a mongrel, but even then most froggies would not have a fscking clue what you are on about!

[Anonymous Coward]

too late

"dogs bollocks" is already in the french lexicon, 95 I was in Nice and my French is good, but i throw in literal translations sometimes "couilles de chien" balls of the dog? ah... dogs bolerks oui, c`est parfait.

it is used by anyone well read as are many anglicisms against the Academie Francais(e?) and their hatred of "foriegners". Vive le weekend! le picnique, le english words en tout

. The only other nation this wrongly precious are the Welsh anytthing past middle ages is welshed english, copar = copper, tourch deen! (CH like loch) ( mans hole/arseholes)

[CmdrX3]

Can't you just go with pigeon French and say "le nutts de mutts"

[Anonymous Coward]

@CmdrX3

Along the same lines, sort of, everyone knows that to make a foreigner understand you you've just got to say it louder so

The dog's bollocks in

French = THE DOG'S BOLLOCKS

German = THE DOG'S BOLLOCKS

Spanish = THE DOG'S BOLLOCKS

Portuguese is an exception

Portuguese = THE DOGO'S BOLLOCKSOS

where the end OS is pronounced oz as in ozone.

[Peter Simpson 1]

THIS is why I read El Reg!

Furthering my linguistic skills is a far better use of my time than anything my silly employer wants me to work on.

// My hovercraft...eels!

[Robert Helpmann??]

Different Nuts?

Perhaps with more irony than what is intended, but that makes for better French.

Ça vaut son pesant de cacahuètes.

[Anonymous Coward]

oh what the hell...

le boulex de chien....

Sort of French, sort of not French....

[Mike Ozanne]

En Francais

Les valseuses du clébard

[death&taxes]

In japanese "Inu no kintama" is the correct translation of 'dog's testicles' but literally means 'dog's golden balls'.

The winner shurely...

[nicboyde]

Gaelic

According to Bruichladdich, darling of Islay, "Clachan a Choin" is the Gaelic. By which I believe they mean the Scottish form, not the Irish, Manx etc.

http://www.bruichladdich.com/news/press-releases/murray-mcdavid-is-sold-to-aceo-ltd

[Anonymous Coward]

Chien's biens

What else? Topic closed.

[Anonymous Coward]

As the commentard who made the original mistake...

I would like to apologise for that, and the resulting deleterious effect on LOHAN. Diverting essential national resources in this way is unforgiveable, and for the next eight weeks my dominatrix will spank me exclusively with a copy of Petit Larousse.

[All names Taken]

Or even ...

Boules due woof-woof ?

[Malcolm Weir]

Re: Or even ...

Ah, no: for some reason Francophone dogs don't go "woof-woof", but "arf-arf".

(Merci, Monsieur Herge).

[All names Taken]

Re: Or even ...

boules des arf-arf

It does have a bit of a ring to it